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RHP

RHP User

M44

What happens to clothes, lingerie, footwear, and accessories after a break up...?

June 14 2018

break-ups

Out for drinks with the lads tonight to help a mate through his breakup last week, he was telling us how he just received on Tuesday, the lingerie he bought for her birthday, which is in a few weeks time. We all told him, that he definitely can't and shouldn't give it to her, and then that lead us to the discussion of what do we each do with those presents. What do you (both men and women) all do with them? Do you keep the jewellery? Do you take it for melting/traded it in? Do you keep clothes bought for you, or send them to the salvos? Do you throw them away? Are intimate items like lingerie or say a sexy costume kept for future play with future lovers, or thrown away due to memories? Do you keep shoes/sneakers/trainers because they look good and are comfy, or do you chuck them away just because they were his/her gift? Or does it just depend on what had a significant meaning, compared to something that you still enjoy? Personally... the items that really reminded me of exes have been given away, or thrown out, but I have kept certain tees, hoodies, and sneakers that just look too good, and I like too much to get rid of.

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    I have been given.. other things... same as.. keep them, use them.. ditch them when they break... give them away...*Shrugs*... fuck it.. they are fucking mine, I can do what I want with them.. Things she left there??Lingerie?? fuck it.. wear it?? I don't know.. I actually have a bag of "Software" left at my place...I know every pair and which girl owned them..My fear is....."I get killed in a car accident (Or get shot by some jealous hubby) and my kids find them and decide I was a fucking cross-dresser...."

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  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    7 years ago

    You dont throw good stuff away just because of a breakup? She was good enough to spend quality time with. Just because things went south is no reason to get rid of a few good memories. The good and bad relationships make us/improve us what we are today. Sign of a strong person is to embrace memories for what they are, just that. Then move forward to add to the collection. And any presents that l haven't given her before the breakup, I'll wear myself if they fit......

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  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    7 years ago

    My fear is....."I get killed in a car accident (Or get shot by some jealous hubby) and my kids find them and decide I was a fucking cross-dresser...."

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  • The_Antichrist

    The_Antichrist

    7 years ago

    I don’t expect stuff to be given back or I return them... Stuff like the lingerie that was obviously purchased either online or required a waiting period for attainment I’d either sell or re-gift to mates if they want to give it to their partners... That way my secret cross dressing days come with me to my grave 😂😂 - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • luvsilver

    luvsilver

    7 years ago

    This has been said about a few posters over the years (most times untrue) .BUTIs it just me or are others starting to think Cavey and Annie are one in the same person-lol Mr Luvsilver

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    But Id love to see you all in lingerie......... On subject, I wouldnt throw away any gifts, as Annie said, that person was once special to you. I did sell a diamond ring I got from my ex to pay the rent when I wasnt working, but that was out of necessity.

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  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    7 years ago

    The beard stuck on and getting it off is a real bitch. And the smell of it......omg

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  • The_Antichrist

    The_Antichrist

    7 years ago

    Velcro adds kink - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • boobsandbusted

    boobsandbusted

    7 years ago

    i’d make an ugly freakin woman 😂 - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    7 years ago

    A gift is given in good faith and good will Once it’s given, it’s gone

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Quoting 'MFW_23' ever being given lingerie or even clothing by an ex. If I had and assuming I liked it I wouldn't have a problem continuing to wear it afterwards. The only item I still have from an ex relationship is my engagement ring. I kept it because a) I paid for half of it myself and b) I love the design. I still wear it occasionally. Sounds familiar unfortunately.I can't remember why I ended up doing that. The timing of the engagement party maybe? The details are lost in time.I wouldn't tolerate it for any reason whatsoever these days though - I know better now.Jeez, how many of us gals ended up paying half the cost of our engagement rings and what was the reason the guy didn't pay the total cost himself? Hope nobody minds if I hijack this thread to ask that.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Quoting 'MFW_23' Quoting 'vampavibeJeez, how many of us gals ended up paying half the cost of our engagement rings and what was the reason the guy didn't pay the total cost himself? Hope nobody minds if I hijack this thread to ask that. I think I just offered to pay half since I was the one that (stupidly) pushed for the engagement. I didn't even love him anymore by that point, and we broke up a couple of months later. Thanks so much for taking the time to reply.Sorry to hear the relationship didn't work out for you.Hope you're doing well in your new abode. I know this is really a separate topic but I'd be interested to hear from any other ladies that have paid half for their engagement ring.I'm kinda glad to hear I'm not the only one that did this.......if you know what I mean.

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  • Livingandloving2

    Livingandloving2

    7 years ago

    Keep any lingerie I’d worn exclusively with an ex I don’t really know why - too intimate maybe? Mrs LAL - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    They were given/received with love, so even if that love is no more the original intent remains and that is special. I have a memories box where things like this from my past go. My first serious GF, for example, might be long in the past now, but the card she got me with the soppy message written in it, I will keep until I die. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • EarthQueen

    EarthQueen

    7 years ago

    I didn't, but I don't think its that bad to pay half. Ideally to me its a partnership and if it started with shared costs of a ring its not really a big deal to me. Disclaimer: Actually the whole idea of an engagement ring annoys me so its probably not a good topic to start me on. "She is mine, so I shall put the ring on her finger." Why doesn't he have to wear one? Patriarchal much ? OP I'm keeping all the stuff I like and donating the rest. He can take what he wants when he goes as well including the lingerie, Just the other day I was decluttering and pulled out a large hard plastic pink vibrator he bought me and contemplated mailing it to him with a message saying "WTF this is the worst sex toy ever?" Kind of wish I still did but I ended up chucking it in the bin. Honestly I don't know what he was thinking? It was garbage. LOL.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    I won it at the Vegas in Perth (in the 80s) but sent my ex up to accept it from the Leather & Lace ladies. I kinda regret I didn't step up now. Anyhoo, I claimed it upon division of property... I still have it, I'll post a pic. It's stretchy, it still makes the best of the assets. Peachy, bahahaha, the brand is Grab-it (Proudly made in WA, those were the days in that regard at least)

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  • Hottie1

    Hottie1

    7 years ago

    But I would return anything if I’d been given and I’d expect anything I’d given, returned. For me I’m all or nothing ... I’d leave nothing for them from me and vice versa... if I had anything they didn’t want returned, it would go to a salvage bin. In this case check if it can be returned to the retail facility ... if not, try to sell it independently. As a last resort, a salvage bin would suffice. I’m just a straight forward. If it’s done, it’s done! Mary xx

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  • EarthQueen

    EarthQueen

    7 years ago

    What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Please post the pic

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Delete all the photo's as soon as you're able after the breakup.All the lovey-dovey ones especially. Everything else....if she didn't take it, then she didn't want it.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Quoting 'Koolgrey' Delete all the photo's as soon as you're able after the breakup.All the lovey-dovey ones especially. Everything else....if she didn't take it, then she didn't want it. I kept the photos too! Peachy

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Quoting 'PeachyPearL'Quoting 'Koolgrey' Delete all the photo's as soon as you're able after the breakup.All the lovey-dovey ones especially. Everything else....if she didn't take it, then she didn't want it. I kept the photos too! Peachy And the child he couldn't be bothered with, generous soul let me keep the washing machine for the child's clothes though! Peachy

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    I had to buy a new one!!!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    So... I ALSO probably have an odd Vibe somewhere too.. but, HERE is an oddity....Right..A fem comes to visit.. shit gets hot... over the weekend or whatever.. you suggest a toy..answer usually is "NO FUCKING WAY am I having a dildo in me that some other woman has fucked" I look down and grab my cock... "Woman... what about this flesh dildo - how many woman do you imagine have sucked and fucked (AND anally) on it ??" someone tell me the difference?

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  • Bazingal

    Bazingal

    7 years ago

    If it's done it's done. I don't want reminders. Lol, only exceptions are my kids, never giving them up.

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  • Chaucer

    Chaucer

    7 years ago

    My ex-wife left a large set of crystal glasses she got for her 21st. I called her and asked if she wanted me to drop it off when she had a weekend with our son but she said "give it to Vinnies. I don't care". I use them for almost everything I drink. :) I think she thought it was a wedding present. Chaucer - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • Chaucer

    Chaucer

    7 years ago

    Cavey one IMPORTANT thing getting rid of toys. Chop them up first (It's a weird felling chopping a fake cock) because you know thats the week the garbo knocks the bin over & your dongs are all over the footpath. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • Katkat

    Katkat

    7 years ago

    I sold my ex husband wedding ring & gold chain necklace & paid into my mortgage (haven’t told him yet though) 😂😂😂 🤫 - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • bonefide

    bonefide

    7 years ago

    Using old toy: answer usually is "NO FUCKING WAY am I having a dildo in me that some other woman has fucked". I look down and grab my cock... "Woman... what about this flesh dildo - how many woman do you imagine have sucked and fucked (AND anally) on it That's just the best read of the weekend. Cheers 😅😅😅😅😅

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Simple - Keep it and post on your profile “Must be Size 12 and like lingerie”. Lol Regards Mr SR

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  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    7 years ago

    That sometimes people hang onto things because they’re wanting that connection still and yearn for their exes. I think some things provide a deep, personal comfort and people are afraid in loosing part of what that item represents. Afraid of loosing that bit of fire in their soul. Especially if a break up was recent as its still raw and fresh. Ms Foxy

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  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    7 years ago

    I wear 2 very stunning diamond rings from my last coupled relationship 10+yrs ago. I wear them as it's my choice, I like them and because I can. There is no emotional attachment of that relationship or when I look at them. I get comments about them all the time and I'm happy to talk about their history. I have been given looks of horror and disgrace (like deers to headlights) with comments like "how can you wear them!" Or "Ohhhh from your ex and you wear them ewww". It's those comments I want to get rid off. Lol! Ms Foxy

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    I had the back and front up for around 24 hours and that attracted a lot of attention! None of it unwelcome though, just a few views & flirts thanks guys, couples, gals n all... We had a bit of fun with the photo taking here at home, brilliant for that second childhood thing we seem to be going through. So much better as an adult though. I think you're right that it's the memories Foxy, I don't have any jewellery that I remember but I do have my first gift from a guy in the form of a stuffed kangaroo with a separate joey in the pouch and the much treasured photos of people & creatures who were important to me in my life, for better or worse. Peachy

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