F70
What is "too intimate"
October 02 2012
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Intimacy in the bedroom,someone holding my hand after the lovemaking ,yes that is lovely.Outside the bedroom....hmm it depends on the circumstances...who the person is ,what the relationship is,and er ,um ,how old they are.
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RHP User
12 years ago
....yes agree Freya there are lots of "depends" attached :). Can't imagine holding hands walking down the road with my 24 year old friend.....whom by the way DG. I've known for 12 months , have travelled interstate to meet with, enjoy his company, like to talk to him laugh with him ...but would not feel comfortable holding hands with him in public. A gentle squeeze to say hi or in bed maybe..but that's it. I don't think that contact is reflective of the full nature of how you relate to someone. Minxy
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RHP User
12 years ago
I currently have a lovely young FWB who I have been with for a few months. Last weekend we spent the night at a hotel up the coast. We went for a walk on the beach in the moonlight, during which he took my hand as we walked. Whilst I enjoy spending time with him, I am not and will not ever be more than his friend, but I found the hand holding quite sweet. If it was a first date with someone though, it would definitely be a bit awkward!As Freya said, I guess it depends on who the other person is and what your relationship with them is. But there's nothing wrong with a bit of intimacy! We are all human after all, just wanting a connection....Leah
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RHP User
12 years ago
If both people are single, I'd find it difficult to NOT shag without some level of intimacy being involved; as singletons, we essentially don't have the frequency of intimacy in our lives that a partner would provide, and it's only natural we would miss it and seek it. I had one instance a few months ago when having a one-night-only with a married guy whose wife had given him a hall pass while she was overseas, and I was very much surprised when afterwards, he moved so that he could put his arm around me and have me half on top of him. I allowed it, but I was taken aback as I hadn't ever done that even with guys I've dated; I'm just not the post-coital snuggling type!
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MissSarahCurious
12 years ago
I've had an accidental hand-holding moment with a playmate, I was just running my hands over his arms and when I got to his hands I guess he figured that's what I was going for and took my hand... I thought it'd be even more awkward to tear my hand away so I just kinda let it go for a minute or so but yeah, it does feel like a too-intimate thing for a fuck buddy. I'm not sure why?xx Sarah
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RHP User
12 years ago
Oh you want an answer ??
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RHP User
12 years ago
For me these things make sex incredible instead of, well ... just sex. I'm all good with hand holding :) I'm less good with FB, NSA, FWB etc.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' A guy is prepared to shove his penis inside a woman.... but holding hands is too difficult?!That says to me..... the woman is just a hole for him to to get off inside, possibly to validate his ego.Harsh perhaps.... but true.If you're shagging someone even as a FB arrangement, you can still be friendly, attentive, courteous.... intimate even.Try it.You might get a call back DGi agree...if i had shared my body with someone...took his cock down in my throat....invited him, inside my body...well, the whole works...why is holding hands too intimate?i am quite the opposite...i was told before, that i am too full on...that i am demanding...get too emotionally involved (especially for a married woman)...that i want too much, when i want a friendship as well...maybe even a little courting...and just generally, wanting to feel, the the person i had sex with, actually gives a crap about me, as a person too...but the norm on here seems to be the "text me, when you wanna fuck...otherwise leave me alone"i am not casting judgement on anyone...each to it's own....these are just my views/feelings...but the whole shallowness of this strict physical only involvement, of most men...do put me off the whole swinging scene, sometimes...if it is only about using one another's bodies...with no connection of the mind, or soul...i'd rather get a good vibrator...at least then i won't feel like scrubbing myself raw in the shower, when i am done..
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RHP User
12 years ago
Great question .....and surprising answers....Although holding hands in public is not something I would do with a onenighter companion....( it is more of a friendship or committed relationship situation for me).....There seems to be a big issue with intimacy here......Some very strong responses.I am with halcyon-days on this one.....Intimacy and connection is a very important aspect of an sexual encounter.....Nothing more beautiful and fulfilling that complete fusion of 2 bodies, no boundaries, not holding back.....Just 2 people being very present and connected.Even in a single night rendezvous.....XXXXXXX
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have one friend who refuses to perform oral on a woman unless he is in a relationship with them but expects oral to be performed on him. For myself I dont have anal with just everyone (whether that be intimacy or trust issues I havent quite decided yet) but I have no problem with pre and post coital cuddling, holding hands in public, kissing in public or even cuddling up with our arms around each other. I think it all comes down to what youre willing to do and what you consider things to be dont just within the confines of a rtaditional relationship than with FB's, FWB's or any combination of the two. Kisses Focus
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RHP User
12 years ago
and your opinion of a woman who has an 'awkward holding the hand moment' is .......maybe a bloke is just a cock for them to sit on to validate their ego, C'mon mate, fair gopersonally i don't have a problem with holding hands, but obviously some do.
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RHP User
12 years ago
City Kitty. I imagine you have expressed the needs of lots of single people. As a human you require some level of intimacy at some time that goes beyond the NSA boundaries. It is easy to take for granted that perfect hug at the end of a tough day or a gentle squeeze to the hand before you head off on a big meeting....just as essential as heart stopping, sheet clenching , ground shaking sex that could end in stroking of arms, fingers tracing Tatoos or grab your purse and out the door. And MissJupiter sometimes intimacy is developed and then makes those touches and moments more natural as you spend that time together. Interesting that even when sex and not a relationship is the motivator that still intimacy is enjoyed and as no fuzz and sensualtimestoo said, it's a requirement for them. Keen to hear more... Minxy x
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RHP User
12 years ago
You're right, what's good for the goose.... I'm happy to cop it on that one...but we sit on cocks for lots of other reasons . How about because it feels damn good ;) Minxy x
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RHP User
12 years ago
It depends - I like relaxed and playful , no rules just go with what feels fun. Uptight people are a huge turn off to me, so someone who jumps or shys away from a touch would make me " unhorny" ......too intimate is more about speech and " after the night" stuff.......no apologies :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
The whole intimacy thing, be it handholding, cuddles, huggs and kisses, for me its all about the connection.Thats why I'm not keen on ONS's.If it was about just mechanical fucking asa release it would be easier to go see a prostitute.Cheers Felonious
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uneventful
12 years ago
Quoting 'sensualtimestoo' Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' A guy is prepared to shove his penis inside a woman.... but holding hands is too difficult?!That says to me..... the woman is just a hole for him to to get off inside, possibly to validate his ego.Harsh perhaps.... but true.If you're shagging someone even as a FB arrangement, you can still be friendly, attentive, courteous.... intimate even.Try it.You might get a call back DGi agree...if i had shared my body with someone...took his cock down in my throat....invited him, inside my body...well, the whole works...why is holding hands too intimate?i am quite the opposite...i was told before, that i am too full on...that i am demanding...get too emotionally involved (especially for a married woman)...that i want too much, when i want a friendship as well...maybe even a little courting...and just generally, wanting to feel, the the person i had sex with, actually gives a crap about me, as a person too...but the norm on here seems to be the "text me, when you wanna fuck...otherwise leave me alone"i am not casting judgement on anyone...each to it's own....these are just my views/feelings...but the whole shallowness of this strict physical only involvement, of most men...do put me off the whole swinging scene, sometimes...if it is only about using one another's bodies...with no connection of the mind, or soul...i'd rather get a good vibrator...at least then i won't feel like scrubbing myself raw in the shower, when i am done.. you are not alone here .. I think holding hands is fantastic .. whether it be with a child .. or with the guy you have just shared the night and your body with .. or it be your mother of grandmother .. it is a wonderful feeling ..
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RHP User
12 years ago
we think that we share sex with someone is intimacy enough.... the holding of hands, and long lingering caresses and kisses arent what we want our playmates to be doing...we only want the 'familiarity' to go so far, and to be doing some of the more 'personal' and 'affectionate' things with someone we'll likely never see again, is kinda pointless and shallow...primarily because we know in our hearts, that we/they dont really mean it.....having said that, its entirely different on a one to one basis....singles will have a completely different take on what is appropriate 'intimacy' with someone theyve just had sex with... perhaps for the third, fourth or even fifth time or more...i know i did...the last woman i met here as a single, i ended up dating for 12 months....our 'familiarity' and 'intimacy' ended up as a 'relationship'...
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RHP User
12 years ago
same as its easier to fuck someones brain out..but it could be awkward to kiss him or her...depends on ppl..
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RHP User
12 years ago
Intimacy is about being emotionally close to your partner, about being able to let your guard down, and let him or her know how you really feel. Intimacy is also about being able to accept and share in your partner's feelings, about being there when he/she wants to let their defences down. Men and women view it in a different way. Its a biological thing linked to testosterone Women are face to face intimacy with sharing thoughts feelings , looking into each others eyes. Just check out the body language in chick flicks. Men on the other hand view it as a side by side thing. The face their enemies and sit beside their friends at a fire. Intimacy is an emotional thing, the letting your guard down. Holding hands is nice but not always an intimate behaviour. Sometimes people will act in a physical way to use intimate body language in seduction. The best lovers are good at modelling intimate physical acts without the emotional connection. Think of the well known seducers like Casanova, or well known courtesan or even prostitutes who offer to kiss on the lips to show that they will connect with their client. I think you can fuck any way you like, with or without and it depends on who you are with at the time. I do not mind being the human vibrator , I tend to reserve my affection for my partner. But I also do have sensual sexy times with others , no I do not feel dirty or used if there is no intimacy. But each person is different here and there is a wide range of desires and how we express those. Intimacy also is a cultural thing. I do not mind physical intimacy and passion, but my heart head and emotions are something I do not hand out to anyone but my partner. Makes life a lot less complicated. This does not mean that I cant develop a nice friendship with my lovers. But I live in a small town so do not go around holding hands with my FWB.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Choices and a connection.. We have a sexual connection - otherwise we would not have been in bed together - we can choose to either keep it cool and go back to acquaintances before and after the sexy fun OR be out there i.e passionately kiss outside our hotel on plain view of the world or kiss and embrace as we say goodbye ;) No right or wrongs.. It's how we as individuals manage our expectations td&h
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi! msminx3 Thanks for the Topic:) I'm a very Sensual Tactile Woman so any sign of affection touching etc is fine with me anytime, anywhere,.. What get's me unsettled is when another Guy I've yet to meet up with wants to know in detail about who I was enjoying in what way.Or a Guy who's been my Lover 1 time doing the same when there's a hint of Jealousy attatched.. I discontinue our Contact forthwith with both..Cheers Lu :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Tuscanred - "the best lovers are good at modeling intimate physical acts without the emotional connection" And the classic from 2_passion_fruits "easier to fuck someone's brains out...but it could be awkward to kiss him or her" (Dammit I hate limited options on iPad, I want "devil icons " and "reply with quote ", and pretty fonts:/) ....and my surprise from that big softy felonious fossil. Many sides to you lovely funny man :) Minxy x
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RHP User
12 years ago
Td and h Yes youre right, I believe I have displayed a public pash before and maybe a grope or two;)....it is about expectations and how they meet up with your lover, partner, fwb or fb..or if they totally mismatch and cause a bit of discomfort. Minxy
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RHP User
12 years ago
I was on this site several years ago as a couple. If inviting a third for play you have rules and boundaries in place to avoid the man getting attached emotionally to your gf, wife, lover. Hand holding in public is not allowed.Now as a single man....If I am having sex with a woman, it means I'm attracted to her, and her to me. Hand holding in public is a lovely way express each others feelings.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'feloniusfossil' The whole intimacy thing, be it handholding, cuddles, huggs and kisses, for me its all about the connection. Thats why I'm not keen on ONS's. If it was about just mechanical fucking as a release it would be easier to go see a prostitute. Cheers Felonious I find sex without intimacy about as gratifying as pie crust without the pie. I love the hugging, hand holding and even spooning with the right person. That does not mean things are serious. And speaking of prostitutes: I have heard a fair few say they refuse to kiss their customers as they reserve this for the men they make love to, rather than have paid sex with. I absolutely get that. Personally, hand holding makes me feel more desired than being told I have a hot arse.
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RHP User
12 years ago
If it is just a sex thing then thats what it is..In a relationship then it's the whole hog..i think thats when you also know its more than just fcuking..
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RHP User
12 years ago
Connection, intimacy and some affection all just makes the "hot and sweaty" bits so much better. It's sharing something of myself with the other person in addition to my various body parts, and her sharing something of herself with me. If it is a one on one encounter and that isn't there to at least some degree? I would rather just take care of myself so to speak.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I currently have an awesome FB... He makes me feel sexy and comfortable and confident in my own skin, for the first time ever... and because of that i am able to let my guard down and be intimate. He spoons me to sleep, tickles me, holds my hand and gives me hours of pleasure lol Having said that, there are some things i'll only do in relationships. I think everyone is different. As long as you both know where the boundry is there shouldnt be any problems with being intimate. I've found the best sex is with someone you can be intimate with. Being intmate doesnt mean ur gonna fall in love with someone, or they you. I think, if you trust eachother, have a clear understand of the relationship and you are clear on eachothers boundries, there shouldnt be any reason why you cant have intimacy. Whatever floats ya boat :) *Boo*
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RHP User
12 years ago
...have to give you an update .....as this week I met with someone and all the "rules" went out the window. Firstly I spent three days with him ( never would even contemplated this), we held hands, went out for dinner, spooned, fell asleep cuddling, shared our food....all the "intimate " things I'd previously avoided. But it was impossible not to do it with this man...I was happy to have broke the rules for him...hmm sets up different expectations now :/ Minxy x Ps this was not all we did obviously there was all the usual juicy bits too;)
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RHP User
12 years ago
... You met DG Minxy! You'll never be able to go back now.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yes he definitely was no ordinary man, have a feeling this was one of those "once in a lifetime " experiences:P. even though I'll see "Mr Fabulous" again. @devious MissM (with the lovely derrière ) you know I think it will be a case of horses for courses, I will want to have friends that are there for a connection and great fun....and then there will be the ones like the French gent I met at breakfast yesterday and he raced me back to his room to have fast hot nasty sex. I guess like other elements of the whole sexual experience, it is good to be open to whatever comes your way, intimacy included :) Minxy xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
doesn't this all come down to communication?If your partner takes your hand in public and it feels wrong or awkward, shouldn't you be able to express that to him or her, especially after you've had sex together?The level of intimacy you are willing to share depends on a lot of factors and can be quite different between you and your sex partner and exchanging a few words shouldn't hurt..
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RHP User
12 years ago
I just find the whole hand holding/public emotion just too creepy when it happens. Im not ready for another relationship and it tends to get me thinking that things are getting way to deep when a guy does it. Post coital I love nothing better than just snuggling up, but thats just because we have experienced each other and what we have just shared. I suppose if I was smitten on someone Ide adore that tiny piece of public affirmation.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Drinking someone elses pee.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yes 4tantric , I think you're right , the intimacy that you are both comfortable with is something you should be comfortable with discussing . European bliss....I totally get that. There is something special about holding hands! Lol . You can put you're tongue and lips everywhere on someone...but holding hands:/ Omg hotguy....yep was not expecting to get up and read that this morning, and can't help but agree with you...though someone else out there in RHP land will be totally comfortable with that beverage, and good luck to them. I think there is a difference between making a judgement and having an opinion to share. Minxy x
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