RHP

RHP User

F53

What to do when you see someone you know here in the flesh ?

January 02 2015

Ok So the other day I had a normal date. A blind date as we had chatted on facebook and decided to meet at a local record store. We met at the store and started to chat while looking for records (a great first date meeting spot by the way) when this guy approach me and asked if I was Tess from Redhotpie. Now before I go further be clear I am not ashamed of being here - I love every second of it and are quite frank with my close friends about my lifestyle. I was horrified and gobsmacked. I denied it was me - which was stupid after I had said yes my name is Tess. I denied I was on any websites but he became insistent saying that it was me, he recognised my face (funny since it is only my eyes are on my profile). He said maybe my account had been hacked and then he got out his phone and tried to show me my profile - in front of my friend !!!! (oh dear god would the earth just swallow me) I turned my back on my date and looked at this guy and mouthed silently "FUCK OFF" and he stopped finally got the message and scarpered off. I tuned to my new friend and he looked at me and said straight-faced "busted !". Look at this stage I should have made a joke out of it - but I was truly embarrassed about what had just happened. Maybe I would have told my new friend at some stage but 5 mins into our 1st meeting wasn’t right. I was silenced and horrified and muttered something about “that was weird” and basically looked like an idiot. I just couldn’t recover myself. Needless to say the date was a bit strained. Afterwards I became cross - the guy who approached me was so stupid - my friend could have been my husband, boyfriend, brother, boss - I don’t know – cousin, priest – but this contact didn’t seem to have any sensitivity or care about the circumstances I was in and just blundered in. I wouldn’t have cared if I was alone. Surely what he did was not right - surely there is some sort of protocol about meeting a contact here in real life that requires us all to be discreet and careful. Let me know your thoughts. Yes my name is Tess

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    "this contact didn't seem to have any sensitivity or care about the circumstances I was in and just blundered in." Very, very uncool and an absolute deal breaker for me. (Gotta say though that's not just your eyes, your haircut may have been quite recognizable I think.)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Next time.LIE....how awful for you,how on earth did he know your name is Tess?...and how dare he do that to you hugs XxFreya ps change your name to Gertrude

  • playwithus742

    playwithus742

    10 years ago

    Hi Tess, Yes I agree, for the RHP guy, that was totally out of line. I am so sorry that you had to go through this, and hopefully this guy has seen how much he embarrassed you and makes an apology. That would have been awful, and it sounds like your vanilla date went downhill because of this guy's actions. I always wondered whether there is a secret handshake, look or some other way that swingers communicate. There should also be a specific way to say "not now, I'm with someone who doesn't know". I hope you have recovered a little from the embarrassment, and who knows, maybe your new friend might become curious and interested in this lifestyle:) Take care MrsP

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    That's just silly. Great story though..Whatever happened to 'Hey, is that you Tess?'. Why would someone even mention RHP *baffled*. It's got nothing to do with being discreet or careful. If I bump into someone from work I don't go 'Hey are you Arunjagan from finance?" Notice the guy didn't go running though? Once he heard RHP mentioned he knew he'd get a root if he bought a coffee. Well played

  • 6exxy

    6exxy

    10 years ago

    WoW sorry to hear this. It's funny but not really. One of those things you look back at and laugh. At the time it's so distressing.😖 Yes that is poor form in doing that. It could have been handled a lot better. The eyes and haircut are a little bit of a give away. Hopefully the next meet record purchase date goes better ☺️

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'Jean_Girard'Why would someone even mention RHP *baffled*. I think sometimes it's a power thing, like "I know your secret", or "I know you, but you don't know me". The fact that this guy was like a dog with a bone, not wanting to let it go, suggests to me he possibly enjoyed making you squirm, OP.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    I gotta ask...wtf did he expect you to say?? "Yes it's me Tess and I'm just glad you came along as you're so horny looking and this guy I'm with is a bore...so how about it??" What a dumbass.... - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    I agree, it was out of line. I have confronted a few customers at work that I have seen on here but certainly not in front of others and I usually do it because I know they know it is me so it is better off being frank about it and get rid of the awkward. I am in a job that I can do that though being a sexual environment. I have had some good chats with some about being on here. Because of my job I have to be careful about who I greet in public for that reason. You never know who they are out with even if they appear to be on their own so if they want to say hi, I let them come to me otherwise I avoid them and apologise for the blow off next time I see them and explain why. Sometimes they are out shopping with family and/or friends and they don't need to be explaining where they know me from.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    That is totally out of line. I would block him actually.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    sounds like BS to me lol....everyone LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    As that Indian guy once said in Seinfield "very bad, very, very bad" *insert waving finger*

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    I've often seen guys when out and I've noticed that they've noticed me, and seem to look at you as if they've seen your face before. And I wonder if they are on Rhp and seen my profile. Luckily none of them have come up and asked me, and I wouldn't dream of asking them, especially when with other people. If standing alone at a bar for example, I possibly wouldn't mind if they did. I think if you do see someone you recognise and want to make contact, jump on mobile app and go to their profile and if close enough there's a button to hit (can't remember exactly what it says) basically a proximity alert :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Amazing a very similar thing happened to me not long ago. I was at a work function and finally hooked up with a long time friend from work. We were hanging around the city waiting for first morning train, being all close, kissing and holding hands etc while waiting. Next thing i know a guy from on here that id meet at a few meets years ago came up and said hello to me. I didn't recognize him and was like uhhh who are you? To which he replied "im xxxx from rhp remember we've met at xxxx before" and continued rambling on about other rhpers. I was completely mortified, a new hookup AND a work friend hearing about this from some random in the street. Needless to say the poor guy has barely been able to look me in the eyes since! Grrrrr. He was one of the good ones too! - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    This is something that just shouldn't be done to a person. Obviously their actions are purely selfish with no regard to the others sutuation/feelings. Maybe they need to wiki the meaning of Discretion. If they know how to type that is. Disrepect hits a nerve with me. Sory to rant people. Mr K. xx - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    for having a real and recent photo maybe. That's what you get for integrity like that. So many people have old and outdated or just plain not them photos, as some meet and greets will teach you. Small consolation but it's worth commending. The guy was obviously a dick and most likely had less dates and success on here than he has tact and respect. Do you think he was unsuccessful contacting you on the site and sought some stupid revenge? Maybe next time a quick elbow to his solar-plexus, or left hook to his chin, or right knee to his crotch. Tends to keep 'em quiet. Or ask him if he's fuckmymalearse69. Nice eyes and eyebrows by the way.

  • QLDtwo4fun

    QLDtwo4fun

    10 years ago

    Touch wood, we have had the opposite experiences. We were on an escalator in a shopping centre, kids in tow, when we passed a couple we had seen the night before in a swingers venue. We all just discretely smiled as we passed. No idea who they are, haven't seen them again. Anything more than a des create smile is too much.

  • QLDtwo4fun

    QLDtwo4fun

    10 years ago

    We walked into a shopping centre bar one Sunday afternoon. At the bar ordering our drinks and were is the male half of a couple we had met the night before at a party. We all polity and discretely said hi and went our own ways. We saw they were with friends. A few minutes later he approached us and asked if we would care to join them, which we did. The other couple were also swingers, and we are all still friends.

  • Twisted_Mister

    Twisted_Mister

    10 years ago

    When the ex and I were still together and playing as a couple, we chatted to another couple a few times up here. One night they came around for a drink or two, and as it turned out the F half of the other couple was someone I'd worked with before! Surprisingly, there was very little awkwardness, and things progressed well beyond just having a drink.... We've seen each other in the workplace afterwards, and managed to be both pretty professional about it. Good result I reckon. - Posted from rhpmobile