What to say /Not to say

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  DynamicCouple36

  9 years ago

  A gentle well mannered, slow and respectful approach works best, in our experience (when we have received such messages ) Perhaps read the recipients profile fully. Then make some positive comments re their profile , in your message . Tell them a little about yourself first . And leave the details with regards what you would like to do (sexually ??) at a meet, for later, until you have exchanged a few messages . A non pushy , slow and gentle approach works much better than a pushy, impatient , hasty one . - Posted from rhpmobile

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  sparkdaz

  9 years ago

  Thanks for your reply, Its hard to know what people are looking for. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I hate message from guys saying lets fuck, your pictures make me want to wank and other related crap. I don't know if I even like the guy let alone want to be sexual with him. I need time to decide if I want to have sex with a person. Some guys are just outright and will let you know they just want to fuck and they really don't have a lot of respect. They think because I am on a fuck site that I will fuck anything, anyone anywhere well what dickheads. Just don't be that guy!!!

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I wish this forum had a "like" button. Some comments are golden. Perfect advice. So what the above said. 👏👏👏👏 - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Just be you. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  Mischeviouslad

  9 years ago

  Let me put something to you..... a snapshot of reality versus the myth of so called adult sites.It should help to make your experience a better one, I hope. A lot of people will use the premiss that because this is pitched as an adult site, that means its open slather to do and say anything they want.... zero filter...... including overtly sexualised opening emails containing a list of things they want to do to the receiver of that mail. Now.... a bar or nightclub is a site for adults.Imagine if someone you didn't know, without invitation entered your space and started listing the things they wanted to do to your body and told you how good they were at doing it, and how much you were going to love them doing it to you..... ... and now imagine they were far removed from what you found attractive... a very personal and subjective thing. How would you feel about that? Well, this is what women in here contend with every time they open their mailbox.Some don't even say hello before pasting their long self praising resume in a porn story, and they get bitter when it earns them a rejection. Don't be that guy... and you're already ahead of a large chunk of the swarm.

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  sweetgem

  9 years ago

  I would reply with a no without hesitation if I received a message with the following lines: "Hi babe, how's your day going?" # Please don't call me babe when you (as in the general term) don't even know me! "Hi, I liked your profile and would like to invite you out for a dinner" # While it seems nice and kind of the man, who messages me, to want to take me out for dinner, bribery doesn't sweep me off my feet in his very first message. "Hi gem, love your profile, wanna hook up and have some fun?" # Hmmmm, what do you like about my profile?.......usually I hear no more from the person lol So sparkdaz, please do read the woman's profile before you message her, so to know if she needs you to stimulate her mind before anything else, or is she someone who likes a random and blind hookup and is not into company outside the bedroom. Then compose your message accordingly 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  you said "What I tend to try and convey is how I'd like to meet, how atractive they seem to be and what I would like to do during an encounter." I think the issue here is its all about you.. how I'd like to meet .. what I would like to do.. what about asking what they want? I think that would help. I agree with gem don't use pet names. Don't make it sexual right away. Never use the term no strings attached . I like opening messages along the lines of "hey there, your profile caught my eye so thought i'd say hello. How's your day been? I see you like *insert interest* .. it shows you've paid attention to my profile.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I'm a bit different to many women I think, in that I like guys to come in, in a sexual way, but you need to pick your target for that. I like them calling me sexy names, but the one thing I would say to all men is not to send a 3000 word essay about their sexual prowess because it's really a waste of time in that first message, better to keep it fairly brief, just say what you're looking for, how much you liked their profile, compliments are always well received, maybe a tiny bit about sexual stuff (for me, not all), or just a brief 'hi, how are you. Loved your profile. You look hot (compliments lol feed the ego). Let me know if you might be interested' Something like that, is usually enough for a first message. BUT here's something I used to add when hitting on guys on another website. I'd always add at the end, as a cougar, bit of a disclaimer, 'I am obviously older and won't be offended if you're not interested. You don't even need to reply, I won't be offended' In just about every case when I added that, they replied, even if rejecting me, which was great, I guess the pressure is off and it seems to put both parties at ease. At the end of the day, you express interest politely and in a non-pushy way, it will then come down to you and another person being attracted to each other. Can be a waiting game If I was sending a message to a guy, which I can't as a guest, but if I was able, I'd keep it very brief, similar to example above, 'Hi. You look hot, sound like a lot of fun, let me know if you might want to have some fun with me lol' or something like that. I have simple needs when it comes to sex Though it would be nice if after I replied favourably, they bothered to reply back What's that about? I get messages from guys sometimes, I reply all excited lol saying fuck yeah wow, you look hot blah blah..........then nothing, never hear back from them faaaaaaaaark they've already seen 5000 pictures of me so that can't be the problem. I do quite often find a friend request from them, think they just want me on their resume haha I just want sex

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  sparkdaz

  9 years ago

  Like Ive said to some people on here, its like being a kid let loose in the candy shop, you know you love candy but you just cant get the jars open. I get that any relationship is bassed on respect and trust especially when you are being intimate, I guess the hard part to grasp is when people are being so openly sexualy explicit in what they will or wont do, is how to approach them without offending them. But I realy like the responces, especially the bar metaphor. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  DynamicCouple36

  9 years ago

  Well written. We agree 100% as have experienced such messages countless times - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I would simply start with:- "Call me Lord Farquad, but that first thing in the morning selfie, makes you look like shrek :p" Just sayin.....messages and/or your profile need personality....if the reader isn't smiling or laughing a little, you're gonna be starting quite awkward - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I would simply start with:- "Call me Lord Farquad, but that first thing in the morning selfie, makes you look like shrek :p" Just sayin.....messages and/or your profile need personality....if the reader isn't smiling or laughing a little, you're gonna be starting quite awkward - Posted from rhpmobile

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  AnnieWhichway

  9 years ago

  Your profile is better than many. As others have said do a normal smiling piccy right way up. And as others have said start with a normal message. Let yourself shine through. If you manufacture something that you think they want to hear it will all fall apart on the next message. Leave the sex out if it till they instigate it. Like a convo in a cafe. You dont whip your dick out over coffee...... Last time i did that i got 200 hrs

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  PurePeony

  9 years ago

  Your profile looks pretty good and you sound like a decent bloke. There are already many good tips given above, but I just want to encourage you to not give up and to not take non-responses personally. In general, ladies tend to get a lot of msgs in our mailbox and sometimes, you may not get a response because : - they may not have the time to respond to so many msgs including yours; or - they already have enough FWB's and are currently happy with their situation and are not actively looking anymore; or - no response is an unfortunate indication of disinterest; or - you do not fit what they are looking for as they have stated in their profiles. It can be quite tough on the guys here and it can take time. You can only do what you can and if you still don't get the responses you want, don't let it get to you. Good luck!

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Very helpful comments in most of those answers so I'll go away and try a few lines that'll stick together and not try so hard as I too think I push the envelope too fast at times but on this site at least you get more of an idea of what the opposite sex or same in that case 😯 want and you can go from there - Posted from rhpmobile

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