rootratandlady

rootratandlady

M54 F53

When a man cant perform

February 25 2014

I have came across this a couple of times and I thought I treated him really nice but he ends up treating me like ice. I am not really sure what to do when a guy has trouble performing? We have had this happen with a couple of guys now. First guy was all hot and hard when we were having a 3 some but one on one with me, he could barely get it hard. I did my best to not make him feel bad and we left on good terms only to have him not reply to messages from either my husband or myself. Another guy, first time the 3 of us played, he came very quick. I wrote it off as first time nerves. next time, he couldn't get it hard, wrote that off as nerves again because we were in a situation where we could have been busted at any minute. 3rd time, one on one with me, came too soon. Again I acted like it didn't bother me, and again he is nothing but dust. For me, I don't like to judge people and I know if my husband had trouble with a woman, he wouldn't treat her like a cum dump and just disappear. Is this sort of normal from guys? I would think if you had problems and a woman didn't care about it, you would be more wanting her to stick around, not giving her the cold shoulder.

Comments

  • gazpacho

    gazpacho

    11 years ago

    Performance anxiety is a mongrel, but so too are building up expectations. This is why porn stars have fluffers and stunt bums. You're not in a porno, so you get reality. In unfamiliar circumstances men can get performance anxiety. It's not their fault really, just part of the human condition. In an mum threesome a guy has backup... It pays to enhance your skills across the board, fellas, and ladies, sex is not all about genital penetration, ffs. :) Hugs Gazpacho

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    mum threesome is suppose to be mfm threesome Gazpacho?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100' mum threesome is suppose to be mfm threesome Gazpacho? no, a Mum threesome, Mum's always know how to kiss it better

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100'mum threesome No wonder you can't perform.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    as they say, there are always 3 sides of a story

  • rootratandlady

    rootratandlady

    11 years ago

    but being female, I don't have my nerves out of display so I try to be very understanding if a guy has a bit of a problem. The first night with my husband, he had performance issues to start with because of nerves but once he got over the nerves the sex has been awesome and still is 16 years later. So I do believe is good things 'cum' to those who wait. I can understand a guy might be embarrassed but why be a jerk? I didn't laugh or tease him, we continued on without penetration for a little bit longer before having a shower and cleaning up. He sent me a message asking if I enjoyed and I replied positively....then gone. No reply. Leaves me scratching my head as to why. How would you like to be treated if it happened to you, I guess I am asking BTW would a 'mum' 3some involve cougars or milfs?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'rootratandlady' I can understand a guy might be embarrassed but why be a jerk? I didn't laugh or tease him, we continued on without penetration for a little bit longer before having a shower and cleaning up. He sent me a message asking if I enjoyed and I replied positively....then gone. It's called "Trying to save face".

  • rootratandlady

    rootratandlady

    11 years ago

    I would love to hear the 3rd party report too, cwhereitgoes, because if it was something I have done, I would want to know so I don't do it again.

  • gazpacho

    gazpacho

    11 years ago

    iPad spell check... M f m spells mum. I'm good with that. :) Hugs

  • gazpacho

    gazpacho

    11 years ago

    I agree with Meander. Saving face.... Self preservation.... Fear and anxiety of a repeat poor performance. Sexual maturity requires experiences, I think. There's a simple cure.... Cialis, viagra, and so on are prescribed for just that purpose... tried and tested. it will get a guy to perform in the strangest of unfamiliar circumstances. :p Hugs Gazpacho

  • gazpacho

    gazpacho

    11 years ago

    I think it is actually very common, but guys get all worked up about it. I can say with confidence that it is common because I've seen the issue being raised (lol) time and time again. See enough naked guys at it and you'll agree. Obviously though, not many straight guys have the opportunity to see a lot of men going at it to know this. Clearly group sex is not for everyone. The exhibitionists aside, sex is a pretty private activity. I can't see how you think it is a prob you've created rootrat. All you could do is make sure everyone feels comfortable and accommodate the circumstances as they arise, and enjoy yourself. Hugs Gazpacho

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Why so many (not all) don't broach the subject when it happens...... I've had the situation three times and each time I have sat up, told him to stop and have just talked....... Generally the conversation goes along the lines of..... Relax, I have no expectations, I enjoy the touching and tasting and everything else that comes with it........ I then have great please exploring his body without going near the penis, rolled, laughed, teased etc..... We've had a great time and so far I'm still in contact with 2 of these guys........... Girls are so much luckier than guys, as guys nerves etc are always on show.

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    11 years ago

    When we do play up, we like to host and we like to have an open time frame, couple of days even, It has been the case every time, with the guys and Tara was starting to call herself cursed and thinking the guys did not find her attractive or sexual, one fellow just could not get hard, and we spent all the time to give it the chance and tara spent a lot of time oraly and playful to it as if it were hard not once did she even seem as it was any worry, but for her self. it turned out the guy loved every minute of it and eventually rolled over and had a sleep. he had some stuff giong on outside of us and it was causing his ability to focus away from it all. Yes it was good for Tara that he talked with us too it and that he did enjoy what Tara had done with hi, he was very thankful and expressed that it all had helped him to have a new way of dealing with his worries, It was worth it all. Another fellow took a couple of hours to settle in, and once he did, we gave Tara two hard working cocks for a few more hours. He felt that it was our passion strong and he had not had sex with others before with such passions, Tara still drives me nuts, ha spoke as it just being more focused to Tara and her enthusiasm so to speak something not easy to his self and once he had become a little more familiar to Tara giving to him the way she does, there came the moment when he realised he wanted to join in with me and fuck Tara and see how that felt to her likings, bang he found out what that was all about. Again nothing for a problem with it, and it is something we will have as just part with all of it, never it to be something that shun or bring attention too, Gazpacho is right there is so much that can be going on it does not even matter, what matters is allowing time for these things to settle and nature take it's course. So far it has been a compliment. Mado Tara xx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Of course they won't respond to messages. They are deeply embarrassed. A mans (for want if a better word) manliness.... The very essence of what makes him a man... Is all tied up with penis erectus! If he loses his abutting then it does play on his mi d just a little and he may feel as if he is less of a man - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    It is big shame for us guys to cum too quick or loose our hard on due to whatever unknown thing is going on. It has happened a couple of times with me too. It can be pretty confronting with all of the feelings of inadequacy… I have found that it really helps when the woman does not make a big thing on it and you have some nice kissing, hugging, basically just that reassuring sort of connection where you feel cherished and you return that feeling with the person you are connecting with reconnecting through your heart rather than your head or your dick and before you know it you are all ready to go again!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    How about the no cumming performance problem? Normally on the first meeting it takes me a very long time to cum or I can't cum and partners are a bit worried I don't enjoy my self Which isn't it at all it's just I can't fully relax the first time around Not shore if any other guys have this? Interested to find out Cheers - Posted from rhpmobile

  • gazpacho

    gazpacho

    11 years ago

    Not cumming is something that Viagra etc will not help with, although lots of guys seem to use amyl to bring it on. Like you, I don't always cum, in fact in group situations that's rare for me. I used to get a bit frustrated by that, but I got over it. Sometimes I bring myself off, other times, I need to be fully stimulated in every direction all at once, lol, but if they're bugging you over it, fake one and say next. :p Hugs Gazpacho

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Lucky for us, nobody would really notice. If we decided to act it out. I once was just not in the groove with a lover who is always pretty spot on, however I did cum but then felt a bit unwell and I actually threw this poor guy out of my bed. I had had my fun, but then I told him to go. I could see by the look on his face he was shocked, I was pretty shocked myself but I just did not want anyone in my bed, just had a freaky night I guess. I have since made it up to him and explained that I was feeling like crap and should not have even started the night, and should have told him in the beginning. We all go through it, men and women but guys are unlucky in that they cant fake it, but they can always do other things I guess, but it still makes them feel a bit put out if they cant get it up. Soft cock syndrome , its a difficult thing and age, stress and medications and mental health greatly influence our performance.smoking is the big one, that contributes to a soft cockremember that boys, its blood circulation and I can tell a smokers cock, it tastes different and it does not get the full rod in it sometimes. LadyT.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    It's gd to know others have same problem Bit hard to fake it though I find lol I tend to stop and then do other things then start again Anyways thanks for ur fed back Cherrs lewis - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I feel it's more about the some people can talk the talk but not walk it while others can't talk shit but fuk can they walk :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Had that feeling with a few playmates myself .A few couples now I sat watching hubby enjoying the other woman while the male half of the couple struggled with performance ... some couldn't get up dew to alcohol ,some just wouldn't work and some to excited .. as said I was very supportive and tried hard to help but as I know as hubby has himself had his moments on first meets and informed me its in a mans head that stuffs him up.. was helpful as I got to a stage where I thought it was me . Have played with them a few more times now and now their more relaxed around me/us all's good..

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Exactly smileysmoo

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I unfortunately suffer rom this.My wife and I get around this by sharing her with other guys, it works for us she loves it, and it turns me on.getting to stage where she wants to watch me do oral with another guy, which im curious about.we love each other to bits but this situation keeps us both very happy

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Ok. Bare all. Challenging topic for us guys (yes this is Mr) I can honestly say there has been a few instances and for a variety of reasons. It can happen simply because you have just had a shitty few days or major stress at the time. But with others in the room once you struggle to start with it's then embarrassing and ain't nothing going to solve that problem! (Although a few times it's been a case of tap mrs Madmanx on the shoulder, bit of oral with familiar mouth, no expectation.... Up she comes and we are good to go!) There has also been a couple of times when what we saw clothed wasn't so good naked. Maybe she was better but dressed it well? Or even that you just didn't get on with the girl. You try to proceed thinking "how the crap do we stop things now" ? And the attraction just isn't there. I can honestly say though that we always respond to messages, that's just plain rude. Silly not too really, unless it's the second option you always want an opportunity to prove it was a once off! Lol I wouldn't take it too personally. He has probably just found it easier to hide rather than conquer.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Handmaiden' Of course they won't respond to messages. They are deeply embarrassed. A mans (for want if a better word) manliness.... The very essence of what makes him a man... Is all tied up with penis erectus! If he loses his abutting then it does play on his mi d just a little and he may feel as if he is less of a man - Posted from rhpmobile with this post