When is a compliment actually a come-on ?

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Haha. Yeah. Maybe she was having a bad hair day. I'm a frequent flirted, not because I'm keen to get laid but just because I like spreading the love metaphorically. I get those replies from time to time too. It doesnt bother me. You don't need an excuse or motivation to give someone a compliment. What a miserable world it would be if people only complimented each other to get a compliment in return. Hugs Stalky

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  While we do appreciate compliments (well I do anyway) I can personally say that I have started replying similar to what you got as when I wrote back thanks for the compliment I then got the come on lines and full interest etc... so then I had to be a "bitch" and say sorry not my type... then got abused for "leading men on" Just couldn't win, so it's just easier to reply in that manner right from the start. Sorry to all those genuine men who just want to give a compliment :0) hugs Mrs Sassy

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  totaly agree with stalky ,,,,,,,,,,, I often get told I am chatting ladies up just by saying what i feel but hey if my nature is to give a good word and it helps them to feel better than it is worth being ridiculed over ................ and if they like to take it the wrong? way and I happen to get Laid then all the better but honest I dont mean to be flirty ALL the time Andy

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Unfortunately some people just dont know how to take a compliment and therefore can be quite abrasive. If they arent used to receiving them then regardless of how you word it they may still see it as a precursor to being hit on. Also there are some people who use a compliment as a way to lower a persons guard and then hit them up for a play meet. If I am going to send a compliment through to a person I have not interest in meeting but just really liked their profile then I usually start it with a disclaimer stating that the message isnt a come on....I find that has worked for me..... Speaking of which GT...love that outfit hun...yummm! Kisses Focus

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Some ladies just think that ALL men are after only one thing and therefore they respond accordingly. Unfortunately when you try to give a compliment they can read it as "I like your pix wanna fuck me quick"... which is often far from the truth of the compliment. I often will send gals an email if i agree with somehting they post in forums etc and get varied responses from "fuck off i'm not interested" through to building friendships with them. Ultimately though - while i can offer an opinion, or compliment, I can't force anyone to accept it - nor can they do the same to me. Therefore offer your thoughts, if they are responded nicely - great - if not then well you offered your thoughts anyway. nothing more you can do Wayne

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  hehe... well thankyou very much girlTuesday. My idea of a good heaircut is one that is arranged that says permanently "I just got laid really good"... hehe. }{ Kisses Gaz

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Quoting 'stalky' hehe... well thankyou very much girlTuesday. My idea of a good heaircut is one that is arranged that says permanently "I just got laid really good"... hehe. }{ Kisses Gaz Stalky has curls.. that makes TOTAL sense.. my idea of an awesome hair cut is the Leroy Jethro Gibbs look from NCIS. his hair is brilliant.. I am presently trying to go grey.. but its hard when your natural hair color is "BLACK" like char coal..

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Compliment v Come-On- If you were the sender of such message it is pointless to ask this of others as only you would know the true intent of sending the message was at the time-and only you would know whether the offence you feel is because you were truly misunderstood or offended that your lasciviousness did not gain favour with the object of your attentions-and therefore means you would need to go elsewhere to vent as you feel vexed. An alternative is not to get too miffed-by anything-life's too short. Perhaps they did like your compliment and perhaps there should be a more suitable and gracious response template to assist in replying to the numerous msgs he/she's received since he/she logged on and so rather than give no answer or an incorrect reply perhaps an honest reply is better than no answer at all. Even then-there may be a "Thanks for the nice compliment" drop down-but then when one sends that-you may get another message and then when you decline to respond or use the "not interested" as sure as night follows day there will be a forum thread "but she said she liked the compliment-why are women teases?" A further and perhaps radical alternative is that some people don't need compliments-they are self assured as they realise life is not a popularity contest and the only person's approval you require is your own-if you live with authenticity, ethics and the modus operandi of "above all else do no harm to others" generally you won't have or need everyone in your life-my experience is living like this is definitely not going to make you popular-amongst the superficial. However the people you will have in your life will be compatible, genuine, you will truly want them there (and they you for whatever mutually respectful reason) and you can rely on them to be in your life to satisfy your needs of the relationship you mutually define (f'buddy, friend, or life partner) and they will support your choices from a position of genuine respect, understanding and connection. Perhaps you could or should you reserve your compliments-or rather your emotional investment in them- for only when you have had some actual rapport or congress with the object of your intended compliment.. Perhaps they may now be miffed at you now for complaining about them in a public forum rather than writing back to them directly to explain or to rhp admin and ask them to say add another drop down to the template eg "Thanks for your compliment however if I had time to personally answer all my messages I would thank you personally with the grace of a prince/princess and the beauty of Shakespeare"-or whatever it is you deem to be more suitable and less offensive response. If it was me that did commit this offence-I sincerely apologise-to anyone out there-but if I'm up at 3am it's not just for rhp-I may be working on a project and I just happen to switch the pc on or leave it on-not necessarily because I'm trawling all night....every night..(although someone seems to be really interested in what I'm doing having hacked in to my system to look around) From observation, imo it appears people are feeling judged on many of these forums-only because they are allowing the opinions of others to rule their happiness-when I thought it was well known to live your life for anyone else's reasons except your own is perilous and will only lead to obvious pain and disappointment. Perhaps one should just take this response to your compliment as it read-unless you have other information as the words are neither emotive or offensive simply honest. Please examine the reply template list and note that it is the most appropriate reply if it is honest-especially if she or he is saying they're into smoking submissive blondes with large breasts with a penchant for shetland ponies-it's unlikely they're going to want to nor have the time to deal with the compliments/msgs/flirts of people that are interested in bunnysuits, bukkake and miniature thimbles-let alone to consider their emotional well being. (They're busy have hay to fetch and ashtrays to place for their new friend/s on their playdate.) Rather than shopping around-aimlessly- know yourself-love yourself-and present yourself the best way possible...be realistic about who you want to attract-and who you could attract-or be prepared for the worst-which in all reality is that you go home-which even if you were blindingly beautiful yet there was no spark could have occurred anyway. If you know you're not the guy that when he walks into the bar all the ladies come running..that's cool too..just being yourself and being the best version of that can be far more attractive than Milhouse trying to be Bart.. as if she is into you-only for that you know once the real Bart shows up she's going to leave you for him..So why set yourself up for failure..and then there's going to be Nelson's voice in your head going-ha ha (or vice versa for the ladies-if you are genuinely badass power to you-but if you are looking for a nice guy he's not going to be the guy that is going to meet you in the park at 1am on a Tuesday to take you to meet his mother the next Sunday for lunch-well they are out there but they are really, really rare) Sometimes one's earnest words of admiration fall on simply preoccupied ears-it's not necessarily on deaf ears due to the heart wanting what the heart wants-or that going double for the loins....or even if it is-so what? Will complaining about it change the outcome? (forces of evil-maybe-that shrine I have currently burning may have worked as Leonardo Di Caprio has just ditched his wifie ;p) Sometimes people are just trying to get through a busy day and are replying the best way they can-you can't be- nor should you be co-dependant in your need to please of all the people on rhp or anywhere. Unless someone is being purposefully cruel, rude, malevolent or abusive towards you- I tend to think they're just trying to do what they can with what they've got. Live and let live I say-unless they attack unprovoked and then defend and destroy (I can't help it it's my DNA I come from warrior races) Let's face it they are a stranger-they don't know you or you them...if you don't want to be hurt by rejection perhaps phrase the compliment to a woman as you would one that you would deem suitable to your mother, your sister, your niece or daughter to receive and there's less likelihood of ambiguity or misunderstanding-and actually say I like what you've done with that photography-rather than "i love your shots" which if you got from a friend or someone you had a connection with would seem less creepy than feeling that someone out there in the dark is thinking about you and your shots (I'm not saying this is you or what you are about however it is a possibility-that's what the receiver is thinking and sometimes the names of the person sending it to you may invoke a different perception than if the name were niceguy01 vs darklordofdungeonwithnumerousfeetinthefreezerand ahardcockwaiting4u). Or maybe she is just a b**** but why would you even question needing her approval?!??! Maybe you are a terrific guy/girl, smart and sexy and you are missing out even on friendships/hookups with people that may be friends/lovers because you're not putting the time in to your own profile/yourname or how you're writing or communicating with others...not everyone's a writer or an artist-but everyone can try a bit harder to improve themselves above the rhp template responses (ask one of your friends for ideas-steal someone elses if its you-use your thesaurus it's not an exam)-or have a shave or clean shirt on in your photo. Or learn to take a photo-if you can get on rhp you can get on google or you tube to look it up things if you have no clue. If you are a bunny don't put bear-as your name-pick something significant and relevant to you-something your best friend would say-yep that's you and roll with it-if you don't know what the hell you are-how is anyone else supposed to recognise you? Or give you a chance? If you put AnnakinDarkSide- I'll probably respond but if you're primarily into swinging wouldn't KeyPartyAuGoGo be more apt? You want to get action or a positive response without spending a million dollars or being a poet neurosurgeon worldchamion waterskiing supermodel that is a volunteer firefighter and runs an orphan camp and will get a woman naked. Get some nice manners-have some respect-take the lady out for a drink or dinner-don't treat her like a whore and more likely she won't treat you like a john. I challenge all the guys that don't get any action on here to try it-with the ladies on here-and practice at work, at uni etc. Start opening the doors, pay the women genuine compliments (like look in her eyes not her boobs or butt), or stand up when a lady comes into the room. She'll be so shocked with this last one that I guarantee even if you were quasimodo's ugly brother she'd look twice at you..and tell all her friends about you. You cannot buy class with money and you do not need money to have a lot of class or lovely manners-and any woman/man would prefer to be treated as a princess/prince by an average guy/girl than treated like garbage by someone that by a fluke of nature was placed in one skinsuit over another (or a rich family)-they actually think that's all they need and because people usually fall over themselves due to their looks/wealth and it reinforces their beliefs. (Some people will take longer than others to learn this). Ladies just because one guy was a jerk-not all of them are but if you keep treating them badly you are turning them... In regards to online manners-look I sat through Salo-but even when I log on and there's a friend request from a photo of a guy licking a hüvely as his profile shot it's a bit much for me-I'd sat down with a cup of tea and almost choked on my timtam. Moreover-it's really not necessary to send the compliment at all-just as it's not necessary to put pen to paper and build a time machine to ensure Leonardo Da Vinci receives your compliment because his art moves you or inspires you...it is what it is.. and it will continue to exist and be admired with or without your comments-if you like someone and you're not prepared for nothing further to return from your contact-just give up the nice thought to the universe-it will come back to you. I can only imagine if Neil Armstrong sat down and personally responded to all the telegrams/letters he received when he got picked for the big mission-I'm not sure he'd be finished by now-let alone have been the first man on the moon-or pick whichever event in history if this one doesn't float your boat. Columbus you leaving yet?-No, I've got all these chicks writing to me-waiting for my replies-I can't go yet-tell the Queen she's got to wait! Perhaps one should really put things in perspective "being rejected" by some random (me included) on rhp whether in person or online that may be fake or real is really not worth posting over at all... I know I'm likely to get flamed over this response or one of the self-appointed sheriffs of the rhp fiefdom will want me banned altogether.... However, surely I can't be the only person that when I initially saw the post-I thought it was going to be some bizarre interaction that had occurred in person-when in reality via email in this case at best you were acknowledge at worst you were not abused-correct? I can appreciate the physical beauty in a man or a woman of the many of the photos-I don't have to write to all of them-however I may send a flirt that I liked their profile-if they write back great-if not-next my life is filled with many other beautiful and wonderful things...realistically real beauty is not always easy to see and neither is ugliness-the real ugliness that if you really could see it via a photo would make you recoil in terror-thing is if you know what you're looking for you can.. Unfortunately, one can at times be distracted by a tight package or it's shiny baubles-rather than seeing what lies within is nothing but a dark empty hole trying to suck you in..to fill up with you as they no longer feel...yet they breathe and walk amongst us. The most important thing to remember in being on here is like being at a smorgasbord-you don't need to eat everything and you don't have to put everything on your place at once, and although you might really like something it could end up making you sick..as not every attraction even the strongest attraction needs to be acted upon... Which is why I don't understand when someone is actually meeting another in person-via rhp or otherwise why you would then have sex with someone if you weren't into them at all or they into you-I don't mean in love-I'm not moralising I just mean-if there's no spark. Is it a numbers thing or is it kind of like blasting for iron ore that you're sifting through tonnes and tonnes for the one good one no matter the cost to the environment? Seriously-I'm not judging I'm just wondering what is it about? As unless I feel instantly I want to devour the person and feel they are in that space with me-honestly it's like a wash cycle-aren't you just waiting for it to be over so you can get it out of there? So why would you even bother giving a second thought to a person you don't know and doesn't know you whether or not they reply to your flirt or your compliment online? Consider it a lucky escape so you can move on to the next opportunity. If you're articulate-can use a computer and can appreciate a thing of beauty-and like most of the girls and guys on here even if you may never get a modelling contract (me included) there's no reason you can't present yourself as interesting, engaging, sensual, creative, funny or passionate and be successful in finding a partner if not several (whether casual/permanent or for just a friendship). When I look at each flirt/msg that is sent to me, I do check the profiles however just like applicants for anything else I tend to think the effort in the profile reflects the desirability of allowing them ingress to my life-or anyone else's whether just to have a conversation or consider the possibility of sexual intercourse in the future. If you can't tell me anything about yourself (ie the one's that have contacted me) why would I want to share anything-let alone my body with you? I'm usually thinking I don't need your pin number but something would be good...or don't you care-and if you don't care about you at all-that means you are high risk for anything and unfortunately I care about me too much to be with you. Although it is online-you must have been to a party or an event-surely you don't just turn up there with your old t-shirt and bad attitude carrying all your emotional baggage? You must have something witty or interesting to say? At a party where you know no one-unless do you walk in and introduce yourself as spankmaster69allthetimeurbackdoorismightyfine -to the girl that you might only want to sleep with that night-even if you know she is that type of girl? Maybe you do-let me know how that usually goes..I'm intrigued.. If you are being yourself and everything is working for you-that's great! The world needs it's mrspankipants and missjzgrl (no offence if these are your names-I just made them up) My point is if you're not being yourself-or your best self-and you are not getting the results you want you can only blame the person that is not making the necessary changes or accepting their limits to allow self-actualisation, growth and improvement to the quality of your sex life and that is you... Rather than waste time on what could have been with someone that for no other reason could have been bad timing or a number of other reasons nothing to do with you why not invest it and your efforts in creating/inventing a better tomorrow? Or be sure enough in yourself if you are really happy with what your presenting and receiving as a consequence that in lieu of receiving approval of one random-you need not seek it in others. A friend said this to me recently: "It may be primal-but when I go to bed with a man-I want to feel that I'm going to bed with a man-he might not necessarily have the physical strength to fight off any threat-but he may have a number of other things just as potent to offer-adaptability, intelligence and creativity as he might not be able to kill any danger with one blow-but he can get me out of danger. " Be a man! No woman/man that has self-respect or is of any merit really wants or desires a lover or admirer that lacks self-respect and self-respect or self-love is quite different to narcissism....allowing a narcissist in or actually going to bed with a narcissist is to invite and take the danger with you at your most vulnerable. Perhaps unless you know you have the fortitude to deal with rejection personally and independently it may be best to leave well enough alone or just go with the truth that is proven repeatedly historically-that if someone really wants another when given an opportunity they will express an interest and if you are sufficiently interesting or compatible they will come to you-even from the other side of the world. I believe even one guy gave up his kingdom as it was to scandalous at the time in his land to admit to its monarchy a divorced woman from America as the wife to a King (and yet look at what the clan that stepped in since have been up to?) A compliment to a lady-should be given unconditionally-and given in earnest-without expectation-not as tool of control, to gain narcissistic supply or a trojan horse for someone with high hopes for his silver tongue and his erstwhile concealed pack of trojans. A woman/man with any sense-will generally know the difference and act accordingly-good behaviour overall is generally rewarded.

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  tank__girl

  14 years ago

  to those of course who've taken the time to send me a genuine message with thought, saying more than.. Hi. hi your buetifull can i c ya pg ....Seriously, 50% of my messages are of this standard?! haha...delete. Even if they're miles away, I think it's nice to reply and say "Hey, thanks!"

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  You are genuinely sending a compliment only message with no ulterior motive, this is what i used to do; at the end finish with " Please, no responce is expected or required, i just wanted to express my feelings." Amazingly occaaionally some women would respond.....i don't know why...probably just testing my intentions....i would never reply just in case! Besides if they really wanted to take things any further they are quite capable of sending a flirt.Cheers Nev

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Speaking for myself, I do like compliments, got one today actually. Hehe thanks if you're reading this. We have made the mistake in the past of accepting something I thought was a compliment and ended up with another message wondering... 'yeah but' lol. Oops. I applaud your intentions, may there be more sharing of good will in this supposed place of pleasure. Hugs... Mrs P

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  too bad! Maybe she didn't like your opening line.

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  erotictouch4u

  14 years ago

  If the initial compliment is responded to kindly and then another message comes through with an offer of more then sure ... send the opposite response back as it is totally appropriate. They should expect it then as you would know their ultimate reason for sending the supposed random compliment. For all you other ladies who like compliments ... the odd narky reply still shouldn't deter random comments to "spread the cyber love" as stalky and niceguy also do.

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Quoting 'NevandKj' You are genuinely sending a compliment only message with no ulterior motive, this is what i used to do; at the end finish with " Please, no responce is expected or required, i just wanted to express my feelings." Amazingly occaaionally some women would respond.....i don't know why...probably just testing my intentions....i would never reply just in case! Besides if they really wanted to take things any further they are quite capable of sending a flirt. Cheers Nev Nev, As usual very true words but sometimes the receipient doesn't read them. Like some here I occassionally send a 'well done, liked what you wrote' type of message and have stated exactly what you said, that I don't expect a reply. And sometimes, although I will qualify, not very often, I have received a terse message back telling me I am 'not what she/they are after'. Even been blocked twice because of it. To a degree I can sympathise with them. Sure, there are a lot of guys here who have trouble typing anything coherent due to their other hand being otherwise engaged but there are some that are smart. They know that often it is just getting that first contact read and replied to, like sticking your foot in the door. Then the seduction - or bullshit, depending on your view starts. My advice, if you truely send a compliment and get the wrong message back, just forget it and make a mental note that either they haven't read anything you have written here, have had bad experiences previously or are just arseholes! mooka

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  xFunlovingx

  14 years ago

  Receive them Love them Reply to them Thank them xFunlovingx

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  xFunlovingx

  14 years ago

  Quoting 'GirlTuesday'You look amazing :) Shucks, thanks GT nice of you to say. As I am loving yours...You have such amazing and sexy outfits, you need to tell me where you shop! xFunlovingx

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  drhelixs

  14 years ago

  OMG Who's not taking their medication??? I'm going to leave my comments brief................... I love giving flirts, without hesitation and without expectations. dr

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Yep when I was a paid up subscriber I too sent compliments and actually titled my message as such needless to say some couples did not reply and most of the ones that did were not appreciative . Probably 10% replied positively 4nicake

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  captainkaos

  14 years ago

  I commented on a some pictures that were posted on Red Hot Pics. The woman had lost some weight and was feeling more confident about herself and wanted to show herself off. Quite a good idea really. I very much liked her pics and I commented that she didnt have to lose any more weight as she was very sexy with all of her curves. I wasnt expecting a comment or reply. This is what she said- captain ill lose as much as i need to for my health.. im not gonna stop just cos someone im never gonna meet says to but... thanks for the complements everyone My wording may have been misunderstood?

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