M49 F50

When the heel is on the other hoof

January 18 2015

Ms_Silk's horrible messages thread, and the one on 'what makes a swinger' had me reflecting on how different the experience is for singles vs couples. We've never received rude messages like those... I (MrsParadise) have travelled abroad and have experienced being a temporary unicorn, as it were, playing with permission. I really was quite excited by the prospect of joining a couple as the 3rd party as it was totally new for me, the reality was fun but not at all what I thought it would be. I had decided to save myself, in order for the first time to be special. I felt coming from only playing as 1/2 of a couple I would have a lot to offer as I understand the dynamics of couples. I wanted that classic ideal of that we'd all hit off, have a 3 way connection, an amazing night of sex followed by intertwined sleep only to wake up and do it all again. I quickly became overwhelmed by the amount of offers I was receiving but decided to meet a couple who I can only describe as doppelgängers for Martin and Beyoncé. It wasn't very 3 way, I probably was involved in sexual activity for about 30 minutes all night and they took me home, to their guest room. They have become great friends and I just had to wrap my head around their swinging style and count my blessings that I was in fact still fmf intacto. After that I kept to meeting at parties only because my inbox was swamped with offers. That didn't really go to plan either, I learnt to stay clear of couples who were fwb, as the ladies seemed unimpressed that their dates for the night actually wanted to swing. I also learnt very quickly, on the advice of a 'real' unicorn to make the initial connection all about the girl. The reality seemed like couples did not really know what to do when faced with a confident, sexually charged bi woman who knew what she wanted. It's not like I had endless encounters, just a few, and the best turned out to be one where the guy was barely involved at all and I couldn't stay the night due to early morning obligations... The best party I went to was for sexy swingles and I think that was because there were no politics floating around like there had been with couples, so if a guy was attracted he could just act accordingly. The downside seemed to be though that a couple of the single guys were perhaps more focused on their own pleasure than I'd experienced playing as couple. I had to wonder later whether that was because with another guy there they're more likely to want to prove their sexual prowess. I felt respected though at all times, apart from twice from the females of fwb couples, and there were lots of perks such as the ease of setting up connections with extremely hot people so I would never say singles have it better than couples, or the other way around. It just was what it was. I missed MrParadise terribly by the end of it. Bringing this back to posing a question, for those who have been on both sides of the fence, what was different to your previous experience and what did you learn? And those who have only ever played singled or paired if you were to find yourself playing the other way what do you think you'd most to experience? What wouldn't you miss about how you play now?

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Paradisepair

10 years ago

In case you were wondering which Martin I was referring to...

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RHP User

10 years ago

I've been on here for over two years and have also been part of a couple and single. I must say from experience I prefer it as part of a couple. But being a single, although it has its negatives as illustrated in my current forum post. The single friends I have on here that I meet with at parties and meet n greets. Are some of the best crowd of people you will ever meet.

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RHP User

10 years ago

I did think that Steve and Beyonce made a rather odd couple Mrs.PP.😳xxFreya

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Lovinit28andKC72

10 years ago

I've met a beautiful couple through this site and I've formed a wonderful friendship with them. They have taken me under their wing so to speak. (taking my vanility) I've attented parties/club with them as a couple and also attended a party with the male half alone. The things I've experienced with them are amazing and I'm thankful that they have wanted to share some of it with me.... I also love playing as a single, I love the intimacy of one on one play, the not having to share. I guess as a couple that play with others, it's getting the best of both worlds, you get to play with others (whether it's in a 3some, 4some or moresome), then get the loving intimacy of reconnecting of the one on one with your partner too.... I see it as a win win situation.....💋

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Hottie1

10 years ago

Hi Mrs Paradisepair, I love the honestly and reflection in in your OP. I am part of a couple and I play single as well. I play single with permission and hubby knows ( when I play). I have been (and will continue to be hopefully 😘) the unicorn or third with two couples. I am extremely lucky because my two couples I play with as a single/unicorn are extra-ordinary. From the first date, just incredible, though I haven't done a sleepover, the intimacy after the play is incredible. I love lying in the arms of both of them, caressing both of them. I would agree that the women of each respective couple is as confidently sexy as I am, maybe that's the trick. Like you though, I'm always respectful and appreciate that the men of the relationship are incredibly respectful of their women and me, but I've not had any issues, just lots of sexy fun. I have played as a sexy single at parties too, but I have found only one single man who I would describe as arrogant and selfish, I haven't played with him lately and he asked why. I did give him feedback which was ' I like you to be more articulate with what you would like, and when you are fucking me, I want your attention on me, not on everyone else in the room' not too much to ask is it? I think maybe there is something in your comment about impressing other men in the room, hadn't thought of it from that perspective 😗 Recently at a party there were 3 single blokes, two were just arrogant , in fact I had to say to one who just came up and started playing near my arse ' mate pussy for you only', he got a little pissed and moved on. One of the single guys ( and the sexiest, most good looking of them all) who has been to other parties, respectfully stayed at the door watching the action in a really packed room, he didn't barge into the play, I invited him in and he and I started playing. I loved his approach, watch, learn and respond to the needs of the people you are playing with, not just your own needs. Mary xx

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RHP User

10 years ago

Interesting to hear your take on couples and the politics that can go on. Great question. Hopefully you get more responses. :)

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Paradisepair

10 years ago

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RHP User

10 years ago

From my (Mr. dynamic_du0) perspective: Unfortunately have not had much long term success in playing as a single man with a couple on a somewhat regular basis. It has almost always ended with: 1. The other male party getting jealous2. F getting attached which creates another set of drama on its own Our last couple on couple experience was with another couple we met on another site and became friends with. Initially we did same room swap etc but the other male party could not get it up and became very emotional (rare occurrence) about who he shared his body with. They had not actually had much swinging experience as we got to find out later. Made an agreement for one on ones in the hopes that it would change but he still couldn't do it and said it was OK if I saw her alone. We saw each other alone a few times and she'd have quite a lot of fun (something that he said would take time for her to experience). Received a sudden and abrupt message from her saying that she can't see me anymore and more or less echoed the same sentiments that he did initially (the message sounds like it was written by him).

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RHP User

10 years ago

Intersting Dynamic. I think lots of couples go into the lifestyle without really being prepared. I have also found that men new to the scene almost always have issues with performance, it's understandable. The first few times can be confronting. Interesting that you say all the women get attached to you?!! You must be a very attentive lover.

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RHP User

10 years ago

Don't mean to brag or anything... :p Lol. Mrs and I enjoy sex and love being passionate. Not everyone does that apparently so I guess it's understandable as it's something different and exciting. - Posted from rhpmobile

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When the heel is on the other hoof

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