sweetgem

sweetgem

F46

Where to go to find love/life partner these days?

March 11 2014

I have been out of the proper dating scene for nearly a decade, and have been single for some years now since I left my previous life. Hence, I do not know where else to go to meet new people nowadays in order to find love, apart from using the online dating websites. Most of my male friends are either married or attached, and those who still remain single are either not my cup of tea, or I'm not theirs :-) Although, I am still enjoying my single life, I do want to settle down again for the second time ultimately. And I feel that that time might be coming soon, that's why I'm currently taking a break on here, partly because I want to be 100% sure of what I want, in terms of relationship, from this moment onwards. If you were me, where else would you go these days to meet people and enhance your opportunity for finding love? I know that people used to join interests groups to meet people in the past, but not sure if this option is still available in today's society/environment? Yes, I know that the best thing to do when it comes to love is do not go looking for it and let love finds me instead. However, I am not the type of person that would sit on my arse and wait for opportunities to come to me! Therefore, I want to start hunting once I'm ready. But I won't be looking too hard, just keeping my eyes out for it. Any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated :-) - Posted from rhpmobile

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Yes there is a meet up website where people go and do social activities or sporting acticites, etc. if I was on a mission to meet someone I guess I would attend as many events as I could. I didn't particularly like speed dating but lots of divorcees looking for their next wife there. I would definitely not spend time on an adult swinging site to find love... Even though I did. :p

  • Beachlover1999

    Beachlover1999

    11 years ago

    But Goood Luck..... The same thing happened to me at 34, actually the need to procreate hit....... Sydney being the beautiful rainbow beauty that it is, IS a thirty something females nightmare if husband/life partner hunting with a kink that's not vanilla!!!!! I did meet my ex online and went to London and got my sperm donor. Always regret my wonderful gay friends offer to do it together.... Really good luck....xx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Depends what you are looking for Sweetgem, but I do suspect you are after a more traditional arrangement / relationship.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Those interest groups again. At least you can guarantee you have something in common and depending on what it is you can make educated guesses as to the personal life of the person in your sights. Example: I (bloke) have taken up guitar sessions so I know what to expect from other musicians. Not to scare you or anything but I read an article just yesterday in the Sydney morning herald that said 30% + of women aged 30 or over are single. And that men of the same age catagory that are single aren't especially the best candidates with a disturbing high number being unemployed. Just watch yourself out there - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Look up things to do in Sydney and how to meet people in Sydney. You might need to follow a few different links but there are a few groups you can join. Depends on age groups, your interests, etc. Good luck. I hope you find what you're looking for.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'PeepingTom25'And that men of the same age catagory that are single aren't especially the best candidates with a disturbing high number being unemployed. Just watch yourself out there - Posted from rhpmobile I certainly hope that article was not judging these 'substandard' single male candidates solely on the fact that they are currently unemployed. Because contrary to the assumptions of many who really should know better, 'unemployed' does not automatically equate to drug-addicted / alcoholic / never worked a day in their life and probably never will / sponge on society / loser. There is context to consider, particularly in our current economic, social and political climate.

  • sweetgem

    sweetgem

    11 years ago

    That I would be wanting a more traditional relationship when I'm ready :-) - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Could feel your need on Sunday, wanting to have that little bit more.... Sit down with a piece of paper, three columns titled 1- current interest, 2- future interest (where you want to be, what you think you'll enjoy learning), then 3- What you don't want. First two are obvious, third one takes some thought, the easy ones are a smoker, alcoholic, gambler etc. However, you then get into personality traits (always right) etc. The third column of the list you keep referring back to so that when the emotions/hormones/love/lust take over, it reminds you of what is important and that your not just settling.............. If the current interests aren't going anywhere, then go for that second column and inspire yourself. Darn, I better not start a column anytime soon :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Yes there is context. The article itself mostly discussed how female professionals are largely dismissive of average men in favour of "mr perfect" and that this viewpoint was doing them a disservice as many blokes are married at age thirty. I'll try and dig up a link to the article for you and let you draw your own conclusions. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    There's a site called Meet Up. If you don't find what you're looking for on there you can create your own group :) I found the love of my life here. It didn't work out between us (silly me) but it proves that anything's possible. I was a lot more sexually expressive on the site back then so admittedly it was a bit different. I agree with what others have said about meeting lots of people to find one. Good luck x - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    My link to the article was deleted. Don't know why as it was directly relevant to the discussion but eh. OP I think more than anything you must determine what you're looking for before you go looking. Plenty of decent guys out there who would make you happy. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    11 years ago

    I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope you find what you are looking for. As they say...Love will come when least expect it and not looking. How true that is, I have no idea, as never been in love. Foxy

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Well done ! Your doing it . - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I have a vision for you sweet gem.You have to follow my vision. Get my number of HP first get of rhpthen go to a dance class, yes a dance class. join the friends of the art gallery or friends of the opera . think out side the box of what you would normally do. take up a cooking class. forget about looking in a date site, just for six months. NO internet date site, no speed dating( that is so not for you) join a book clubeverything has to be OFF line. you have to go somewhere once a month you have never been to. sit there with and read a book , get a regular coffee shop and get a regular chair and go at a regular time, and look around you. that's what we all fail to do, look around us offlineand right in front of us, is a person just like you looking for that special one, and its not going to be found sitting at a computer desk. you are a delight, I have met you just the once and there is a guy that's deserving of the love you have in you LadyT ( the gypsy) and the BIG one, do not sleep with a man till he gets to know you , so its a min of a five date rulemost guys will not stay in a relationship with a woman they can get into your pants easy, sad but true the sexual revolution is bullshit

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Luckdragon23' Quoting 'PeepingTom25'And that men of the same age catagory that are single aren't especially the best candidates with a disturbing high number being unemployed. Just watch yourself out there - Posted from rhpmobile I certainly hope that article was not judging these 'substandard' single male candidates solely on the fact that they are currently unemployed. Because contrary to the assumptions of many who really should know better, 'unemployed' does not automatically equate to drug-addicted / alcoholic / never worked a day in their life and probably never will / sponge on society / loser. There is context to consider, particularly in our current economic, social and political climate. being an x centrelink worker, I agree with youeveryone goes through a rough patch , especially today things are getting harderthere are people living in cars or on the street, so sometimes look past what a man can give you at this particular point in time. However, there are some that are lazy fuckers, and if you gave them a job on a silver platter they would have a fit just sort the wheat from the chaff, guys with jobs can be just as bad as guys without jobs

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Bigmamma1' then 3- What you don't want. First two are obvious, third one takes some thought, the easy ones are a smoker, alcoholic, gambler etc. I'm sitting at home alone.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    There are a heap of ways to meet new people in real life. Joining groups/clubs that you have an interest in is one way. Get involved in a new hobby or sport. I'm sure you won't have a problem.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Though about 10 of my friends (mixed girls and boys) have found great partners from online dating and they all say the one advertised on TV that you pay for is very effective. I'm a practical woman and I think that's what I'd do. Good luck!! Kisses, J (Mrs) - Posted from rhpmobile

  • thedevilsfantasy

    thedevilsfantasy

    11 years ago

    When u find the secret Sweetgem, let me know.. I'm in a similar stage of life as you but 10 years later.. I haven't been in a relationship for 6 years.. it's took 5 years to be able to put myself out there after letting myself be destroyed by a man I thought was my soul mate... he was a drug addict and two years into the relationship, took me with him on his downward spiral of self destruction.. I've been on sites like this for nearly 5 years because I was too scared to be in a relationship again.. I've tried Internet dating for the last 6 months but it's not for me and I'm deleting all my profiles.. I don't trust my judge of character when it comes to men and it's twice as hard trying to weed out the non guenuine ones.. I found there was a high percentage of men on 'normal' dating sites that were only there for sex, where as on these sites you would hope ppl are more honest about what they want.. I'm sure there a a few who have met their life partners through the Internet but for me it's done absolutely nothing for my self esteem or confidence... Advice I've been give to stop looking and keep doing the things you love and make you happy.. other advice has been to just get a dog... I have four dogs.. lol

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    You can meet someone anywhere - online, offline, after much effort searching, or completely unexpectedly. I agree though that if the internet is the only channel you're using, it's time to try something different or at least get a bit more interet/real life balance. Sweetgem, aside from being clear about what you want, and putting yourself in situations where you might stumble across it (online and offline), I reckon the key is the energy YOU project. Being vibrant, with a big smile, and looking men in the eye will get you noticed plenty. Dressing in things that make you feel great, walking with confidence, and all that :) When I think about my past relationships and what drew the men to me, it was always my light - that vibrant, positive, happy, can do, fun spirit that shone out of me at the time. I think switching your light on is a real key to being seen :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'PeepingTom25' My link to the article was deleted. Don't know why as it was directly relevant to the discussion but eh. OP I think more than anything you must determine what you're looking for before you go looking. Plenty of decent guys out there who would make you happy. - Posted from rhpmobile Posting links to any other sites, for any reason what so ever, is prohibited. Against RHP rules. I don't actually no why, but there you go.