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While Playing - What do you do with the Children ??

November 12 2011

I realise this subject could be a potential can of worms but I hope to get some real insite here. Recently a FB and I went swinging - we met at the other couples house....Lovely couple...all went wel l and we all got it on. A fair bit of role playing and BDSM was happening - mask, whips bondage rope, costumes etc (you get the picture) by 4 consenting adults. However the evening came to a abrupt and awkward end while some action was going down, when our hosts 11 year old son appeared at their bedroom door informing us all that he was sick (he sure was..chickenpox).....naturally we left - so the couple could attend to the little mite..but it was kinda embarassing awkward etc as we were fully busted.The couple told us that normally the children would go for a sleepover to Grand ma's but kept this one at home that nite as he had been complaining of not feeling well and was running a temperature. On the way home in the car, my partner was furious. He told me that in no uncertain terms would he have played if he knew children were in the house - no matter what the excuse was...it was bad enough to bust your parents doing the hokey pokey but how do you explain 4 people doing the wild thing to a youngster (note both myself and my partner are childless) - his comment aroused a full on argument between us....I knew the couple had kids, it was evident when we arrived there however I assumed that they werent in the house either...had I known they were, Im not sure if I would have felt comfortable playing in the manner that we did. (or indeed playing at all) ..in fact since this incident, Im not sure yet where I stand with children being under the same roof whilst we are all getting it on...Im waivering backwards and forwards as I understand both points of view....I must admit knowing little ones are in the house, for future play would make me someone what less exuberant but now I also wonder how many times Ive been a hosts place and they have had children there sleeping without our knowledge.....Im in two minds over all of this... I am not juding the couple in question -their house, their children their business...however since this incident, the couple have since contacted me requesting a replay of our nite...my partner has flatly refused unless its at a childless venue - our place or hotel etc So my question to you all..for couples with children, what do you do with your children if your hosting...how do you feel about the incident I experienced etc... and for couples like us who are visiitng how do you feel playing knowing children are sleeping in the next rooms ??? Or alternatively to guys/girls who have a sleep over, one nite stand etc when your partner has a child in the house...how do we all feel about this ? Is the childs age a relevant factor ???? Cheers

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MissSarahCurious

13 years ago

why didn't they just reschedule?

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RHP User

13 years ago

No way would I get busy with a strangers kid in the next room. Hell no. Personally I wouldn't contact them ever again either if it was me but that's just my opinion. I've knocked back couples who's profile pics have Thier kids in the background too. I don't have kids but I don't dislike kids, I could not care if people have kids or not, but if someone is ok with putting Thier children's image, even in the background, on a website for sex then they are not my kind of people and I don't want to be around when the department of community services comes over to take Thier kids away. Sorry if I am sounding harsh, but this is a very black and white issue for us. Furthermore I can't imagine the kind of calibre of people that would do that...having people like that in my life in any capacity.... No thanks...

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uneventful

13 years ago

If the child is sick .. it should have rescheduled. I have children .. so .. For that reason I have never previously had play sessions at my house ---preferring a Motel or other venue the exception now being .. My children who are still at home are now much older .. and indeed have their own partners staying over .. 19/21 ... so they don't have issues if I bring someone back .. but then its never for a one niter or a casual .. but has been someone whom they have meet ..or I have said is visiting, A lock on my bedroom door helps heeps

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RHP User

13 years ago

With our daughter, she is baby sat OVERNIGHT at her sitters house. We would ever even think about having her at home if a girl/couple were over. We even get her sat for normal parties as we wouldn't want a drunk/noisy friend waking her up or her not being able to sleep.... We wouldn't go over to a couples home if their children were home, that would be in really poor taste (to me). The couple should have explained that he was home. Honestly, if he is too sick to be sat, they need to be available for him, that's just bad parenting judgement (in my opinion....) I would have been really annoyed with them for letting that situation happen and for putting you and your partner in that position. Just my thoughts! Mich

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RHP User

13 years ago

and took my three with me. They were very well behaved - I was even complimented afterwards. Of course, I was playing with my band at a 50th birthday party..For the other kind of playing, I go alone.

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RHP User

13 years ago

I never have a man at my house if the children are home. It is just not right. To have a couple over and ignore the sick child is an issue in itself. If sex can not wait until the child is well then the couple has a few problems. I go to my adult daughter's place in Sydney regularly. adn even though she knows I am on this ste, she actually introduced me RHP, I still can not bring myself to have a play date at her house.

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RHP User

13 years ago

The only reasonable approach from all perspectives would surely have been to stipulate child free.

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RHP User

13 years ago

I feel a 11 year old child should be out of the house. I feel their priority should be on their child if they are sick. Any parent would put two and two together and know kids are never settled when they are sick. But that's not the point they had a option to have their child looked after. Instead they took risks that didn't pay off at their child's expense. That said we have a 4yo child and have played with them in the house. We would never create a situation where there was any chance of children walking in on, hear or being exposed to what we are doing in any way. You have to assess your own situation and make a dissension as a adult and parent.We have a room with a separate entrance from the street into the house that is locked. It's a a completely private room usually used as a home theatre room it has no windows to the outside and soundproof. There would be more chance of her hearing us from her babysitter's house than her room. There is no way in hell we would play in the normal part of our house in our bedroom.Our child is asleep in her room on a second level. The person or couple coming to our house to play know beforehand our child is there. There's a separate bathroom so they know that there is no excuse to go to the normal part of the house and it is out of bounds completely. The guests are invited to our house late at night after the child is asleep and leave that night.If you have a poky little house where your bedroom backs onto your child's room and a unlocked bedroom door, then you're asking for trouble.Even with all these precautions, as our child gets older, we will reassess how we go about things.To sum it upYou just don't want to take risks with your children, consider their age unless you have a situation where you can assure they won't be exposed to anything, it is best to get a hotel or send them to a babysitters.Tim

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RHP User

13 years ago

We feel most comfortable at nuetral locations , hire a 4-5 star apartment. There is also the thought and remote possibility the action is being recorded in someones home. We have experianced in someone elses home, kids coming home earlier than expected. Grandma living in! But not everyone is wired the same, one couple took exception to us and said they wont do sleazy motels (ummm a 4 star apartment) when they have a lovely home. We see flash apartments are in tourist areas, with a wide choice in resturents. For us, swinging combines the whole night out, wining and dining, good conversation and sex......not meet and fuck. As for our home there is no way, due to kids.

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RHP User

13 years ago

An 11 year old catching mum and dad during a loving sex act is regrettable but it happens and usually no harm is done. Catching 4 people going at it is bad enough but when they are participating in BDSM could be considered corruption of a minor and is deplorable.What were these people thinking? They should be ashamed of themselves as they had no right to engage in BDSM practices while there was anyone under 18 in the house. And they should certainly have called you to explain and reschedule. Pity they didn't give you that option. 11 year olds usually have a good idea of sex in general and witnessing dad dominating a strange woman or vice versa is going to give the poor kid a twisted view of his parents. I never play when there are children around.For the record, although the legal age of sexual consent is 16 years, you can be charged for corrupting a minor if you engage in BDSM activities before they turn 18. The legal age for same gender sexual practices is 18.

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RHP User

13 years ago

That is so not on it simply aggravates me. Seriously,do people really swing with STRANGERS with children in the house? Are people that friggin desperate? Sorry but we are meant to protect our children at all costs & they should be safe in the home AT ALL TIMES. Who know who these people are. This is seriously f**ed up

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Ice_Fire

13 years ago

We have had people tell us this kind of thing before and my view definitely NOT on if all parties concerned are not aware that there are kids in the house.Having said that if you both have kids and you have the kind of friendship that stems beyond just sex, ie you hang out with eachother on a regular basis, the kids all know and like eachother etc etc then it can be done, BUT you need to have a bedroom away from the end of the house the kids are in AND a lock on the door!!!It can be hard for couples with kids to get 'kid free' time to play but it is important for the kids' sake that they come first in the scenario and finding mum & dad going at it with other people is not what you want to happen EVER. I think that this couple did the wrong thing to not reschedule if the child was sick and also were wrong to not mention that the child was home, at least then you could make an informed choice before playing.It can be tricky when couples with kids meet with couples who don't because the ones with kids just don't get that the people without kids don't have them for a reason (which is fine) and the couples without kids may not understand the difficulties that the couple with kids face (remember i said MAY NOT)At the end of the day it is best to find couples who think the same way about 'the kids in the house' issue so i guess from here on in it may be something you ask when you meet a couple. And while it is each couple's personal choice which way they go the focus has to be on the kids' safety so you need to make sure you know the couple well and that the correct precautions are taken so that the kids don't walk in.Just my point of view,Mrs

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RHP User

13 years ago

I never had a man in my house after my divorce, and this is just for non swing stuff. When I had two daughters still at home, no way would I introduce a man into my house. I have my reasons for that. I worked with sex offenders in the jails so I know how easy they can get into peoples lives. I would rather go without for years than put my kids at risk of any kind. A girlfriend would drag home men all the time and her 13 year old son would wake up to every Tom Dick and Harry in the mornings. She ended up engaged to one of them and then let him play daddy to her son. I loathed this man who would always try to kiss me on the mouth when I went to visit them. Turns out he was hitting on the neighbours wife and I really think he also did something to the son as the son had a lot of problems after that. Kids do not need to know about your sex life period, they have enough problems of their own. If you have kids then suck it up and go without. Or get a hotel or a baby sitter away from the play. I am not talking about a relationship that evolves, its more about the random internet meetings, you have no idea who you are dealing with. Internet interaction has risks, as I guess do other forms of contact like picking up in a bar. I think the internet allows a person to hide themselves more. They can set up a whole fake persona, and they can get into your life without people seeing them. If you were in a bar and left with a nut job he would be on camera, nosuch luck with the internet. So keep your kids safe people. If the parents do not take the responsible action then you need to, ask them every time, are there kids in the house and if the answer is yes then walk out the door. It takes a village to raise a kid so be one of those responsible people.

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RHP User

13 years ago

Quoting 'tuscanred' I never had a man in my house after my divorce, and this is just for non swing stuff. When I had two daughters still at home, no way would I introduce a man into my house. I have my reasons for that. I worked with sex offenders in the jails so I know how easy they can get into peoples lives. I would rather go without for years than put my kids at risk of any kind. A girlfriend would drag home men all the time and her 13 year old son would wake up to every Tom Dick and Harry in the mornings. She ended up engaged to one of them and then let him play daddy to her son. I loathed this man who would always try to kiss me on the mouth when I went to visit them. Turns out he was hitting on the neighbours wife and I really think he also did something to the son as the son had a lot of problems after that. Kids do not need to know about your sex life period, they have enough problems of their own. If you have kids then suck it up and go without. Or get a hotel or a baby sitter away from the play. I am not talking about a relationship that evolves, its more about the random internet meetings, you have no idea who you are dealing with. Internet interaction has risks, as I guess do other forms of contact like picking up in a bar. I think the internet allows a person to hide themselves more. They can set up a whole fake persona, and they can get into your life without people seeing them. If you were in a bar and left with a nut job he would be on camera, nosuch luck with the internet. So keep your kids safe people. If the parents do not take the responsible action then you need to, ask them every time, are there kids in the house and if the answer is yes then walk out the door. It takes a village to raise a kid so be one of those responsible people. When my ex and I split, she moved out. 3 months later, her new bf moved in with her and my daughters. There was nothing I could do about it. Turns out he was an ex-con, abusive towards my ex, and had alcohol issues. I confronted him once when my older daughter told me he liked to “drive drunk” and drank cider while driving her around. That didn’t go down very well, and he made threats towards me. They split up eventually, after she had a baby to him, and now she’s got another bf, although they don’t live together yet. When my solicitor prepared the paperwork allowing me to move back to Melbourne, I made sure there was a clause in the agreement preventing my ex-wife from letting her ex-bf anywhere near my kids if they should ever visit her in WA.

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While Playing - What do you do with the Children ??

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