RHP

RHP User

F111

White Ribbon Day

November 21 2012

Hi sexy people, on the 25th of November it will be White Ribbon Day. On the forums we have all read stories of members who have been abused or violated by men in their lives. Let's all show our support to the victims of domestic violence, past and present. Below I have posted the official White Ribbon Campaign Oath. Please copy and post, or just give a thumbs up. Let's find out who the real men and women here are. (And let's remember the men and intersex persons in D/V relationships as well!) My oath: I swearnever to commit, excuse or remain silent about violence against women.This is my oath.

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    My oath: I swearnever to commit, excuse or remain silent about violence against women.This is my oath. (Or any person or animal for that matter).

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I can't understand the mentality of systematic violence and abuse of others. Great cause. *-* Bugger, can't do thumbs up on the phone. Will this do? *-*

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    *thumbs up*

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Deviousx R

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    And to all of the survivors out there - kudos to you for your courage and strength. There is life and love and real, humane, caring and honest people out there. Never lose faith in that. x

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I made reference to this day in another thread. Thanks for making it a headline topic.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    4 hands!!! You'd get 4 here, just before they lock me away in the circus for having 4 hands!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    That such an oath should be necessary. I in fact I probably wouldn't take it, as the idea of committing violence like that is anathema to me, so it feels a bit like redundant symbolism. But I fully support the cause. And I am aware that violence is not just physical, but can take many forms.So thumbs up.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Wildreturns'I made reference to this day in another thread. Thanks for making it a headline topic. I work with women affected by domestic violence on a daily basis. So we pay a lot of attention to White Ribbon Day. Any if anyone reading this is in need of help, email me and I will gladly give you the number for the Domestic Violence helpline in your state.

  • CrackUp

    CrackUp

    12 years ago

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    12 years ago

    I see alot of kids (6mths-17yrs) in my volunteer endeavours who also suffer the aftermath of Domestic Violence, Neglect, Emotional/Sexual Abuse it's endemic in our society. Too often people who know it's happening remain silent....Let's break the cycle through awareness.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I respect any and all causes related to violence against woman/children or the elderly. Its a shame that there will always be cowards in this world

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    From both of us.   T&S

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ... Just wanted to agree with Neptune. Violence is not just physical. It is also sexual, psychological and emotional. And in response to a comment received: No, I did not forget to mention transgenders. I just call them men and women.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    My oath:I swearnever to commit, excuse or remain silent about violence against women.This is my oath.It's also our responsibility to teach our boys (and girls) how to treat women respectfully, to model the behaviour we wish them to emulate, to encourage them toward acts of kindness to all, not only women. As a mother, I don't feel that I'm raising kids. I believe I'm guiding my children into adults who will live responsibly, compassionately and successfully as human beings. If we put our efforts into ensuring our children feel loved, respected and cherished, they will bring this into their relationships within the big wide world.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I wrote this a long time ago.. probably before you were even born girl .. I am sure some of you can work it out.   The Brothers House With hearts of hope, they shipped out here, their billet was your schools; sent to slave upon your farms, where fear became your tools. Bemoan the tragedy was wreaked on these souls of youthful years – these souls now scream to bring to light the torture, and their tears. And hate became their legacy, and authority, their bane – some ended up in prison, while some were deemed insane. Still they cry, this tortured youth, who took the Brothers trip, Still they cry, this grown man, held in the Brothers grip. How come to terms with bitterness? Where stops the search to blame? A string of broken hearts is left, that is the Brothers shame. The stick and strap made red the back, the fists did damage too, all in the name of discipline, all dealt in black and blue. But, it is the other scars they bear, the ones which never bled – the foul injustice done to them, now tracing through their head. No-one to protect them then, no-one they could trust, used as toys, the frightened boys, to feed the brother’s lust. Who do we blame? Whose neck we stretch? How, justice we extract? Or is it now enough to let the truth be told exact? Will it let these torn men rest, the truth be told exact?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Two thumbs up!!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    You are a true poet. And a kind man.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I swear to never commit violence, excuse or remain silent about violence against women, men or children, or animals. Thumbs up from me. 👍👍👍💪

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'cavey50' I wrote this a long time ago.. probably before you were even born girl .. I am sure some of you can work it out.   That's an incredibly powerful piece of writing, Cavey. It sent shudders up my spine, and obviously not the good kind. Thank you for sharing that.

  • xFunlovingx

    xFunlovingx

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100'I swear to never commit violence, excuse or remain silent about violence against women, men or children, or animals. Thumbs up from me. 👍👍👍💪 I don't get why this is just aimed at women! What about the men out there that suffer from Domestic Violence and mental abuse and even being raped? These men suffer in silence moreso as they are meant to be the "stronger sex" and they have noone to turn to without feeling shame that they are not "man" enough! I rather Meeka's oath to the other one! So, Meeka you get my thumbs up! xFunlovingx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100'I swear to never commit violence, excuse or remain silent about violence against women, men or children, or animals. Thumbs up from me. 👍👍👍💪   I did mention men, animals and all other persons in my OP and my oath, but your version is most comprehensive.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    i swear to never commit violence, excuse or remain silent about violence against women, men children and animals

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I swearnever to commit, excuse or remain silent about violence against women.This is my oath. The reason this is aimed at women is in recognition that domestic violence is a gendered crime with levels of violence against women far higher than that against men. I agree that NO violence is acceptable.

  • xFunlovingx

    xFunlovingx

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'DeviousMissM' Quoting 'Meeka100'I swear to never commit violence, excuse or remain silent about violence against women, men or children, or animals. Thumbs up from me. 👍👍👍💪   I did mention men, animals and all other persons in my OP and my oath, but your version is most comprehensive.   You did mention them...although in smaller writing than the rest and in brackets! To me it felt that you didn't think that men, children, etc were as important as women! Also your oath only mentions women! Which is a shame really! xFunlovingx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Thumbs up ..

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    thanks OP for bringng this to everyone's attention and creating an individual Posting. I swear never to commit, excuse or remain silent about violence against women. This is my oath.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'xFunlovingx' You did mention them...although in smaller writing than the rest and in brackets! To me it felt that you didn't think that men, children, etc were as important as women! Also your oath only mentions women! Which is a shame really! xFunlovingx The way I see it, Ms Funlovin', is that this is an event specifically to raise awareness about violence committed against women, which, as we all know, is statistically far more likely to happen than domestic violence against men (although it clearly does exist), and far more likely to occur within an established relationship than from a stranger. While I agree with what you're saying in that there are many problems and heinous acts of violence committed against men, women, children and animals, there are different causes that deal with them, and they have different contexts (the announced Royal Commission springs to mind.)I have no problem with somebody setting up an awareness campaign to address specifically violence against women. While I personally think the pledge itself is a bit of empty symbolism, I'm glad it's getting discussions like this going. The sad reality is it's an every day problem and an every day reality for so many - one in three women over 15 will be physically or sexually abused in their lifetime, the statistics tell us. That's not to say it's any more or less important than other forms of violence, or poverty, or saving the whales, or other good causes etc. - and importantly, it's not mutually exclusive, so you can still campaign to raise awareness about domestic violence committed against men (in fact, I'd encourage it.) However, I don't think it's necessary to denigrate this campaign and criticise it for not being inclusive enough, when it's targeting a particular issue it deems is important (and I agree.)Just my $.04 worth (as per usual I go on for more than is necessary!)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Where are the rest of you, hmmm?   You better have a good excuse for not having posted yet!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    20th November, TDOR. 25th November, White Ribben Day. Sorry to go off topic Miss Devious. My Oath Give some of my strength to others that need the confidence to seperate from an abusive environment.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'EuropianBliss' 20th November, TDOR. 25th November, White Ribben Day. Sorry to go off topic Miss Devious. My Oath Give some of my strength to others that need the confidence to seperate from an abusive environment.   Transgender Day of Remembrance: A day observed annually around the world to honor transgender people who have been murdered because of discrimination and bigotry. A day we never hear about in the media. So a thought for all these precious men and women too.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Have I told you I love you?

  • uneventful

    uneventful

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'cavey50' I wrote this a long time ago.. probably before you were even born girl .. I am sure some of you can work it out.   The Brothers House With hearts of hope, they shipped out here, their billet was your schools; sent to slave upon your farms, where fear became your tools. Bemoan the tragedy was wreaked on these souls of youthful years – these souls now scream to bring to light the torture, and their tears. And hate became their legacy, and authority, their bane – some ended up in prison, while some were deemed insane. Still they cry, this tortured youth, who took the Brothers trip, Still they cry, this grown man, held in the Brothers grip. How come to terms with bitterness? Where stops the search to blame? A string of broken hearts is left, that is the Brothers shame. The stick and strap made red the back, the fists did damage too, all in the name of discipline, all dealt in black and blue. But, it is the other scars they bear, the ones which never bled – the foul injustice done to them, now tracing through their head. No-one to protect them then, no-one they could trust, used as toys, the frightened boys, to feed the brother’s lust. Who do we blame? Whose neck we stretch? How, justice we extract? Or is it now enough to let the truth be told exact? Will it let these torn men rest, the truth be told exact?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Hmmmmmm....interesting assumption, but nonetheless the intention is pure.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Yes it's true , there are a small amount woman who perpetrate this abomination . Even worse the victim is a relative , or a family friend is known to the victim . Yes there is stranger danger but happens far less than familial situations . To me it's interesting how many of us victims there are on this site, would have thought was the last place where we should be . why I can't explain why . I also noticed the majority of posts and support are woman. Wheres the men who should be pledging this , compare the sea pink on breast cancer awareness day to the wisp of white .

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I am truly moved ... My heart swells in my chest as I write this. The message is loud and clear. LOVE LOVE LOVE your powerful words. xxx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    love, courage, strength and support to all past, current and future survivors.Cavey - thank you for sharing your poem, your heart and raising much needed awareness to the atrocities committed.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    That's not your heart swelling, cavey's standing in front of you!!! :p

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Cavey, that's amazing, you really are more than the sum of your parts!!!!   Good cause Devious, close to my heart.   Hmmm Meeka, I think you better be putting that strap on away girl, you just pledged an oath to no violence toward men... lol.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I have seen it all too often, and have experienced aspects of it myself, so the cause means a lot, and not only on the 25th.. People need to be aware that its becoming a very common occurence, and they need to not turn a blind eye to it. Kudos for the topic :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Thank you all for the comments, and for the Original Posting

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'DeviousMissM' Have I told you I love you? You're just one of those girls that will tell a guy anything to get him into bed, right?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Only weak minded fools hurt women ! I never have and never will raise my hand or hurt a woman in anger.You know when you say "don't hurt animals",can i ask did you guys know that foxes and boars are a major reason that most of Australia's native animals are nearly extinct.Animals such as the Bilby , Spotted Quoll,Fairy penguin to name a few,are on the endangered species list.This time last year a fox decimated the 50 breading pairs of fairy penguin's off spring off Manly.I think alot of people have their heart in the right place ,but do you think its right not to harm an introduced species that decimates Australian wildlife? We have some wildlife such as the above ,mentioned that are only found in Australia.

  • Sallyelaine63

    Sallyelaine63

    12 years ago

    For my daughter, who was very recently sexually assaulted by a trusted friend: I promise to never commit any act of violence against any man, woman, child or animal, as much as the mother in me wants to make the perpretator suffer for what he did to you. I also promise to trust what you tell me and to support you through your recovery process, as difficult as it may be. Parents, please believe your children, and don't blame them for acts of violence that happen to them.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Thanks for sharing, mate.     MissM, an excellent post I understand why the White Ribbon Day would be close to so many hearts. It's too narrow a focus for my liking though. Protect the innocent, at all times, regardless of who they are.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I swearnever to commit, excuse or remain silent about violence against women.This is my oath.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    May I also mention a useful book titled Dangerous Relationships , Cannot remember the author ( help me out here please someone) A very good insight into the M.O. of an abusive male . Cavey that was deep, I hope you find peace.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'DeviousMissM' My oath: I swearnever to commit, excuse or remain silent about violence against women.This is my oath. (Or any person or animal for that matter).

  • Genius_Ironman

    Genius_Ironman

    12 years ago

    Reality is that within relationships woman have a similar propensity towards violence as men. Hunderds of reapatable studies done all over the globe reveal this time and time again.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    My oath: I swearnever to commit, excuse or remain silent about violence against women, and any other living creature.This is my oath.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    My oath: I swearnever to commit, excuse or remain silent about violence against women or men.This is my oath. I will not only swear against one gender, there are more women out there then we think, violating men in many ways. I think we should and have to stand against any violence. And let the men be treated and helped in the same way as women do. In an open society as ours we should never accept a violent behaviour.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    After all this the question still remains how can we make violence disappear from our society when we have still parents who don’t think at all to how violent everything or say most of us are or what we see. WHETHER IT IS ON THE SPORTS GROUND IN THE SCHOOLS OR GAMES WE BUY AND TV. For me as a mum its still strange how we turn off movies which show two people having sex and how we just ignore blood and guts and people punch and shoot each other. Isn’t it already so ingrained in us we look away at violence? And can we stop it? Can we still make a conscious decision to say no, really can we? I don’t know….because our minds are so bombarded with violence. I know we can’t change the adults anymore, they have already a mindset. So we need to change the children, but how do we do this when we are surrounded by violence. And we are numb to it in so many ways. Maybe we should start a campaign to stop violence full stop, in any way and form. I don’t know, can we? Or can each of us only start in our own little lives, and teach our children the right loving way and acceptance of anybody. And I mean anybody. I come across so many people and I tell you so many have something against some kind of a group. We are born into hate and anger thinking. Love to u all

  • Genius_Ironman

    Genius_Ironman

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Litonya' After all this the question still remains how can we make violence disappear from our society when we have still parents who don’t think at all to how violent everything or say most of us are or what we see.... Yeah, you are on the right track there IMHO.   Imagine a situation where, one family member rudely ignored another, and in retaliation received a slap to their arm, leaving a red mark visible for a few hours, and causing them to yell out in pain. Further, assume a pair of cops walked past and witnessed this minor assault.   If the victim were someone’s female spouse, the perpetrator could well be arrested on the spot, taken away in handcuffs and not allowed near the home again. If the victim were male, this could happen in theory, but wouldn't. The real bizarre twist would be if the victim were a child, say a 12YO. Under these circumstances, this use of minor violence to coerce desired behaviour is not only socially acceptable, but legal and actually encouraged by large sectors of society. Then cops could not intervene.   So, does this teach kids about dispute resolution with a family? If anything, kids should have greater legal protection than adults, not less. Several more progressive nations don’t allow you to slap your kids around, and the ultimate result is adults less likely to assault their partners.

  • Genius_Ironman

    Genius_Ironman

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100'I swear to never commit violence, excuse or remain silent about violence against women, men or children, or animals. Thumbs up from me. 👍👍👍💪 You are a vegetarian then?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'malmensa' Quoting 'Litonya' After all this the question still remains how can we make violence disappear from our society when we have still parents who don’t think at all to how violent everything or say most of us are or what we see.... Yeah, you are on the right track there IMHO.   Imagine a situation where, one family member rudely ignored another, and in retaliation received a slap to their arm, leaving a red mark visible for a few hours, and causing them to yell out in pain. Further, assume a pair of cops walked past and witnessed this minor assault.   If the victim were someone’s female spouse, the perpetrator could well be arrested on the spot, taken away in handcuffs and not allowed near the home again. If the victim were male, this could happen in theory, but wouldn't. The real bizarre twist would be if the victim were a child, say a 12YO. Under these circumstances, this use of minor violence to coerce desired behaviour is not only socially acceptable, but legal and actually encouraged by large sectors of society. Then cops could not intervene.   So, does this teach kids about dispute resolution with a family? If anything, kids should have greater legal protection than adults, not less. Several more progressive nations don’t allow you to slap your kids around, and the ultimate result is adults less likely to assault their partners. And many people defend their right to physically punish their children with passion. I belong to a lobby group called End Physical Punishment of Children and we are endeavouring to get the law changed to ensure children's rights to safety. Other countries that have already banned corporal punishment are: Republic of Moldova (2008) Costa Rica (2008) Spain (2007) Venezuela (2007) Uruguay (2007) Portugal (2007) New Zealand (2007) The Netherlands (2007) Greece (2006) Hungary (2005) Romania (2004) Ukraine (2004) Iceland (2003) Germany (2000) Israel (2000) Bulgaria (2000) Croatia (1999) Latvia (1998) Denmark (1997) Cyprus (1994) Austria (1989) Norway (1987) Finland (1983) Sweden (1979)

  • Smilingwithfun

    Smilingwithfun

    12 years ago

  • boots_69

    boots_69

    12 years ago

    For a noble cause and may all those on here have the strength and integrity to honour them if they have to.In addition I will say that there was/is a brilliant advertising campaign being run in regional WA (not sure about other states) where members of local football clubs are giving a similar pledge. I the message gets through then hopefully the world will be a better place for my children.Thanks MissM

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    The instances of domestic violence I have become aware of in my life have almost all be exaserbated by the victims unwillingness to either report the crime or leave the person. Never is it OK to strike your partner but seriously, nothing will ever change while the victim condones the behaviour with silence or nil reaction. I personally would make the campaign equally about reporting domestic violence and showcasing available options to staying in the home with the person.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Once a man starts dominating a woman violently, if she accepts this and hopes that knuckling under will placate him, she is wrong. Usually, the woman will have to leave for this treatment to stop. This same man, would not be violent with a woman who makes it clear from the outset that violence will not be accepted.

  • Genius_Ironman

    Genius_Ironman

    12 years ago

    "Those who are able to see beyond the shadows and lies of their culture will never be understood, let alone believed, by the masses." -- Plato Few bits of reality here. 1. Men and women have a similar propensity towards intimate partner violence. 2. The most common mode of abuse in relationships is mutual. The perpetrator/victim paradigm does not fit in mot cases. 3. The current system ers on the side of female victims, and is open to frequent misuse, causing more injustice and harm than good. 4. Children, who in any sensible system should be the most protected are the least. 5. Children who are disiplined physically are more likly to abuse thier partners in adulthood. 6. Race and SES have way more predictive value than gender in terms of who is engaging in DV.

  • Genius_Ironman

    Genius_Ironman

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Wildreturns' I belong to a lobby group called End Physical Punishment of Children and we are endeavouring to get the law changed to ensure children's rights to safety. Interesting, that is something I would support. I think you have a long way to go before that idea is not considered as radical fringe talk, however I suppose you have to start somewhere. I suppose NZ is culturally comparable to here, so if it could happen there.. Does your group have an online presence?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Is a poem by Maureen Watson, an Aboriginal poet from Queensland and really highlights the paradox of DV. Aboriginal women will tell you, they want the violence to stop, they don't want the relationship to end. And as for why women stay, there are many reasons, a primary one being fear. The first 12 - 18 months after a woman leaves a DV relationship are a danger period and, where domestic homicides occur, it is usually in this period. Why don't women report? Here in Tasmania they are dealing with a police culture of "blame the victim" and provocation and a lack of protection,and even when they do get a Family Violence Order, the police do not take breaches seriously. They are also dealing with a system that can remove their children for exposure to family violence and so they don't report. Sometimes they think it will keep their children safer. There are a plethora of reasons why victims of intimate partner violence don't leave and don't report. There is plenty of good reading material if you want to educate yourself about it. Beware of victim blaming. Your lack of comprehension could come from never having been in in that place.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I thought there was a website but I'm having trouble finding it. I will talk to our founder and get back to you.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    It's great to you see you all take a stand against any form of abuse, physical or otherwise. Very sexy indeed. People refer to this place as the Asylum. I think it's time we change the term to Care Facility. xx M

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Wildreturns' And as for why women stay, there are many reasons, a primary one being fear. The first 12 - 18 months after a woman leaves a DV relationship are a danger period and, where domestic homicides occur, it is usually in this period. Why don't women report? The woman's self confidence has been so destroyed that the fear of being able to cope alone or of what he will do if she leaves, keeps her there, stops her from reporting it and keeps her silent about what is happening. You dare not tell anyone what is happening inside your home.The process of getting the DVO was horrendous because he had the money to hire legal representation. I did not. Piece of worthless paper really and only for two years, when it should be for life.....control freaks never change.I lived in absolute fear for at least 5 years, became complacent and 9 years after I left opened my door one day to find him there. Long story he refused to leave until youngest son came over to my home and decked him. Peace ever since, but I know that might not always be the case. Living with uncertainty for the rest of your life is not good. I push it to the back of my mind and get on with living my life the way I want to.I support the pledge but there is a connection between violence to animals and violence to people so I think a pledge against all violence to all beings is in order. Please do not underrate the impact of verbal violence it lasts in the victims mind forever.

  • Genius_Ironman

    Genius_Ironman

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'sexyshaza53' "I"d like to know what the ratio of male to women deaths due to DV is" http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1349500/?page=1 At least that was the ratio found in this study, but then it is USA, and 30 years ago. http://mensnewsdaily.com/2010/02/14/domestic-violence-related-death/ Reports a higher death rate for men, but again, is the USA, and includes DV related suicides.

  • Genius_Ironman

    Genius_Ironman

    12 years ago

    More recent, international, including Australia, but not focussed specifically on fatalaties. It does have a good sample size, and well explained methodology.   http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/ID16.pdf

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Nobody should be subjected to violence of any type. This includes men, women, children and the elderly. Just to focus on violence against women is sexist and elitist. The White Ribbon Day ignores the violent behavior directed towards the elderly, violence within the gay and lesbian community and the disable. Some women for example consider it is their right to punch, scratch, and verbally abuse any male who offends them- double standards. Perhaps the greatest example of domestic violence is where females can legally murder their male partners, without penalty providing they claim abuse. The male has no right of reply - he is dead. Anyone who abuses another person should feel the full weight of the law -not execution. Finally, don't ever kid yourself ,women can be just as violent as any male. How do I know? 20 years service as a Paramedic- I have seen it all.

  • coach74

    coach74

    12 years ago

    Love this post devious, I've been championing this cause for a while. Its just a shame that one of us gents didn't post it.- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    my neighbours who I don't know well are involved in a cycle of domestic violence,phsical and verbal.There are no children involved but they do have a very small dog that I sometimes look after.Sometimes they argue outside my house and apart from speaking to them calmly I really don't know what to do.The irony is that the female half of this couple works with women who are survivors of domestic violence.Any advice would be appreciated.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    It's a case of Damned if you do, Damned if you don't, sometimes. A woman (or man) has to be at least in the contemplative stage before she will be open to accepting any help. The best thing you could do is telling them you are there if either one of them needs you. And if you are concerned for the welfare of the dog, call the RSPCA. They are insanely busy with the very abused pets, but it's a small start. Alternatively, offer to take the dog more often, as "you can see they are under stress, and you'd like to give them some reprieve". If you are acutely concerned, do call the police. It sounds unlikely either of them will, and it may be a wake up call. Then again, maybe not. But at least the police will have a record. Unfortunately doing the job she does, does not make the woman exempt. A former colleague of mine has been in an abusive relationship with another woman for years now. At times she would come to work with a black eye. Terribly sad. I wish you strength and clarity. Though I know you already posess plenty of both. Hug.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    thank you,I am trying not to invlove myself too much in what is an increasingly volatile relationship.The police have been called many times so they definitely have a record.Both people have sought me out on occassion and as I said I just talk to them calmly when they are agitated.They both know they should separate but just seem to return to that cycle. It saddens me to see two people in this awful situation that for some reason they can't leave,and I do fear a very bad ending.Thanks once again Ms.D.