M63
Why do people not respond to your enquiries
April 12 2023
Comments
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deepestpurple
2 years ago
strap yourself in Maracus
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mr_big
2 years ago
Yep, happens all the time. I estimate that 20% don't even read the message, 75% read but don't reply. The remaining 5% will actually reply. I'd imagine a good female profile gets dozens of messages daily, which is intimidating and daunting by itself (especially if you are an introvert). To make it worse, most of them are generics that didn't even bother to read the profile, and some are straightaway rude. It's like when you get endless messages from recruiters on linkedin - most of them never even bother to read past your current employment, not mentioning matching skill sets - irritating, isn't it? I can understand why some people don't want to bother wading through this goo of words to reply with even a generic "no thanks", though I don't approve - I think replying is the right thing to do if the message is at least semi-decent.
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Felicitous
2 years ago
There are some great threads about this - if you search 'no reply' some have over 100 comments. It's a continuous and contentious issue. I suggest wading through those... so you have a better understanding of the 'whys' Arguments made on both sides are valid.. but on here 'no reply' is a clear 'not interested' Women don't want to engage in the response. As a female who does reply but then needs to mostly hide to curb the messages . Here's a few reasons why I completely understand others not responding. 1. MOST men / couples who might send a 'lovely' message are wonderful about being rejected... But I'd say 5-10% are utterly disparaging, rude, and hurtful when knocked back. I am barraged with name-calling, slut shamming slurs and DIC pics.. it gets very nasty and very ugly very quickly. Another 35-45% just don't accept the rejection - see it as an opportunity to chat further or question why (never wise to enter into that discussion) they can be relentless in re messaging and eventually get blocked. When most messages start nicely how are we to tell who's going to morph into the above? Honestly sometimes I'm tempted to not engage also 2. Time - if left on 'active' it's entirely possible to get over 70 messages a day. If ones actually not 'on here' all the time that compounds and becomes impossible to keep up with. 3. The disparity on here. Some couples and women may only occasionally partake in 'others' so they are spoilt for choice and they can be picky about who they want to engage with... coupled with the reasons above they choose to not engage with the majority. There are many many more reasons. But basically no response is another form of rejection without the engagement. Is it shit when you've taken the time to read a profile and craft a well thought out message.. absolutely. Rejection is horrible no matter how it's 'buttered' up. Is it rude / egotistical / lacking manners etc... I absolutely don't think so... It's more a form of self and time preservation. It just is how it is on here and it's wise to try understand so as to not take it personally or allow it to erode self esteem. V
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Ex007
2 years ago
I assume most women here are looking for a particular type of person. My profile is written in a way so as to find the particular type of person I'm looking for. Unless the messager has actually read my profile in full I won't reply. I've embedded a very simple request in my profile and if that request is not in the opening message I'm not wasting my time. Sometimes I'll reply with “I don't think you've read all of my profile”. Sometimes I'll get a smart-arse reply “I read the bits that were important to me.” This type of reply tells me they are either trying to use humour to deflect from their inability to be an intelligent human. Or they have a complete disregard for boundaries. Both will get them nowhere. This topic has been posted many times, if you use the search tool you will find many helpful comments.
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sweetnyorkshire
2 years ago
We get a lot of messages, too many to reply to all so here's a few reasons why we don't. Huge distance away. Short one word message. No clear photos. Only photos of the female half. No photos at all. Unverified. Out of our age range. Messages have been deleted before we've read them. Messages have been deleted and we've forgotten what was said. Crude or sexual first message (usually happens in the chat from single men and gets an instant block) Profile doesn't match what we're looking for ie single male, couple that only does soft swap, girls play while guys watch. One of us doesn't find the profile attractive. We both don't find the profile attractive. The latter two we will try and reply if they've made an effort with everything else but sometimes life gets in the way. In the end no one is obliged to respond, sometimes people don't respond to us but we don't like to waste time wondering why.
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time4us4play
2 years ago
Unfortunately when we say “no thanks” we get abused hurled at us. We don’t owe anyone a response, but if your profile and message is interesting we we respond.
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time4us4play
2 years ago
#we will respond.
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boobsandbusted
2 years ago
🍿🍿🍿
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Maracus69
2 years ago
Thankyou all who have taken the time and responded
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FeistyFatty
2 years ago
In short, they don't owe you one sadly.
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Rach23
2 years ago
I don't like being rude when someone has made the effort but when you receive so many messages it gets a little overwhelming some days. In saying that some messages also don't warrant a response.
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madotara69
2 years ago
Let’s say for example you send us a message today… In a week, maybe a month from today we feel a bit toey and look to the messages, spontaneous yes, ready to play up and a window of opportunity You may be the one we reply too, if so then once we have begun a friendship, it’s forever we would like to be friends with you. Hope this makes some sense for understanding just us. Mado Mado Tara xx
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Mrs_Deep_Love
2 years ago
You are not entitled to an answer. No answer is your answer.
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Opalrose
2 years ago
I was reading this thread. I looked at your profile to see who started the thread. You looked at mine, and five seconds later sent a ‘hi sexy’ message. You didn’t read my profile at all. You went by images only.
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Sawadee
2 years ago
Appears many find it much easier to find reasons not to reply than it is to reply.. ? If every message is looked at with suspicion it's no wonder replys are so few and far between.... Just the way it is here ?
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CuriousAsianCpl
2 years ago
You're not entitled to a reply, especially if you aren't what the person/couple you've messaged is looking for. Your profile and initial message needs to give a good reason to engage. If not, then no reply is your reply.
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boobsandbusted
2 years ago
maybe just think ,ok I’m not what they are looking for ,cos if I was ,they would have replied ,the fact they didn’t ,means your not ,it’s actually pretty simple believe it or not Mr b
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EarthQueen
2 years ago
Wouldn't it be better to get no reply than many saying "No, not interested". If someone reads your profile and you aren't for them that's why there's no reply. Either way its a no, so does it really. matter? Not everyone wants to chat with someone they aren't interested in and that's fine.
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mr_big
2 years ago
I actually have a somewhat related question too. What is the motivation of people who claim to be interested but then barely maintain any conversation, at best replying with single words or short phrases? In my understanding, if you are actually interested you want to establish an acquaintance as soon as possible, if not - then say so and don't waste your own and anyone else's time. Am I missing something?
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Gentlelovers
2 years ago
Must say there are some really rude people on here.
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deepestpurple
2 years ago
Something that confuses me about these threads is we all chose to engage a medium that clearly suits the introverted / socially challenged / autismo type persons and then to get all aghast that that is the sort of behavior you find here is all a little bit scorpion and the frog. There are places that cater to your rejection fetish, where you are more or less guaranteed to get your answer, good or bad, right there on the spot. This collection of places is grouped together and referred to as "outside your house". I'm not even being glib here, you can still come here too but surely getting out and getting that fix of validation from real life people would help you feel less triggered by how things are done here in Rome.
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CanISay
2 years ago
Massive disrespect cheap lying and same goes with their profile expectations "respectful, honest, no B/S, trustworthy blah blah blah. Cherry picking openly on display. I just couldn't bring myself to be such an openly rude compulsive lying and cheap (at the very best) indecent disrespectful being (at best). Isn't it Ironic, don't you think? A little too Ironic? Yeah I really do think! CanISay
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butterflykiss
2 years ago
Don't give up if you have something to give... I love your profile picture and you profile seem honest and straight forward to me. I'm sure you will run into some likeminded people if you persist. Rhp is a great platform and after all I believe effort will get rewarded. Good luck x
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