F60
Why is it so hard for a man to .......
August 15 2015
Comments
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Tall74nHard9
9 years ago
Guys are tough, and women's feelings get easily hurt. So the guy doesn't want to hurt the woman's feelings by telling her something she doesn't want to hear, and he would rather put it more 'kindly', or sometimes skirt around it all together. Blokes think differently to ladies, and that's why it's hard to get to the consensus of what is the more appropriate way to handle things. That's it in a nutshell. Not my personal views, and not my style, but a reasonable generalization of the probable answers you could expect. Naturally a bit on the sarcastic side, but I think you'll appreciate the drift. Tall
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RHP User
9 years ago
I don't think the answer matters. If a man really wants to be with you they will try and make that happen. If they don't, they don't, and knowing why won't change that.
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RHP User
9 years ago
And I am not sure about the answers. It can be lack of self-confidence, it can be that sometimes some people think that telling the truth would hurt others, maybe some people try to avoid confrontation by not saying anything and just disappearing. It is a matter of honest respectful and nice communication and various interpretations of what it actually mean and I think the issue exists in all types of relationships, personal or professional. - Posted from rhpmobile
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belladonna888
9 years ago
Because some men are just born arseholes .. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
But if he told you his reasons why he didnt want to see you any more, that would make it final.The end. Bored, something better came along, back with the ex, you got too close? Who knows!! but by not actually telling you, he leaves the door ajar.This way he can put you on the shelf until hes lonely and horny and gets stood up last minute. Then he will give you a text, "hey babe, was thinking about you.You make my dick hard just thinking about you.Miss you. Lets fuck... Tonight" Ok it might not be the reason your guy did it,he is the only person that can answer this, but we can assume different reasons.And Im sure some women have done it as well. Bad form, words are free. Hearing nothing makes you distrustful of new ppl you meet. And ya wonder why we put up walls? Protecting the heart in this crazy world !!
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chevtrek
9 years ago
Most times I tell it how I feel or see it.Some don't have the couragesome make you a notch on the bedpost.Some don't want to hurt your feelingsLast of all it may be your not what they thought they wanted.
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Reality is..... the reasons aren't relevant as you don't know if they're genuine or not. In short.... they did you a bit of a favour by showing their true colours and lack of respect. And that's not a gender specific trait ..... giving the iceberg treatment to another goes all ways. Just get better at spotting it before you dive too deep next time. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
blondie it is just some do and some don't, just need to find the ones that are happy to be honest. Good luck
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm aware that from a females perspective we need closure. But I've found that before we get closure we analyze all the little things.What could i have done better, what did I do wrong? Does it help? I think it makes you miserable and self critical. For some it makes you question your self worth. Shrug it off. His loss, or her loss and move on. What's the worse that can happen if you shrug it off? You meet someone new and have fun. Remember smile and the world will wonder what your smiling about. As will the person that's walked away.
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RHP User
9 years ago
...but the likeliest answer to all those questions is that it's easiest to say and do nothing when there's no concrete commitments. Did it start as something casual for both of you that grew into something more for just yourself?
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'd love to read answers from the gents here too. Why is it so hard for a guy to say he doesn't want to see you again? Why is it so hard for a guy to say he doesn't love you/want to play with you any more? Why is it so hard for a guy to tell you his bored with you or he's seeing another woman? Why be gutless and say/do nothing rather then tell you how he feels? I have often wondered these things myself but it seems many of them just do not have the courage to tell you what they are thinking and feeling.Gents, we ladies would much rather KNOW than be left dangling, wondering.And if it is a case of simply wishing to keep your options open, just have the courage to tell us that too.I would rather know the facts that than know nothing as I would like to be given the chance to have options too! And you will be thought of with a whole heap more respect if you just TELL us.It's easy when the right words and the right tone are used and it shows you have respect for the other person rather than just abandoning them like a piece of trash.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Stick with a chick darl. - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
Ta daaaa...Passive Aggressive Behaviour that's why. Simple really. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm afraid I think I have to agree with Willow, partly. Being privy to the conversations of men all my life (when women aren't around), I've found that MANY like to 'keep the options open'. My experience with friends and rellies (even my brother), is when in a relationship, at least, that they 'cheat' because they have to make sure they have something to go to before they close the door on the current orifice... As near as I can tell it's a form of 'self preservation'. Believe it and agree or not (anyone) but I think men are far more reliant on women emotionally and physically than they are on us... No-one will change my mind on that. And I'm not just talking 'sexually'. The other major reason is plain 'cowardice'... If you tell the truth, it may not work out well, you might get hit or in trouble (like a little bot whose taken cookies without asking... so he lies). Men also dislike confrontation more than women, who are just naturally more honest (in most cases... there are many exceptions). Take my word or not... I have always tried to be as honest as I can be (except when asked "Does this dress make me look fat"). Little white lies to save a person's feelings aren't included here... LOL. I always finished one relationship (or it's finished by her) before I move on... In fact, I generally need time in between, but that's just me. I've NEVER cheated on anyone, because I found very early in my first marriage that it hurts very badly and I never want to make someone hurt like that, ever. So another novel to make a point and explain my views, which of course, I think are right... LOL Thanks
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Twisted_Mister
9 years ago
It's actually not that hard to do all those things you mention. I would say that blokes in those situations owe women that much, just for honesty's sake. From some of the posts, I think men are all being tarred with the same brush here - trust me, the same thing happens to us.... Naughty girls. NAUGHTY NAUGHTY NAUGHTY!!! ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Twisted_Mister' It's actually not that hard to do all those things you mention. I would say that blokes in those situations owe women that much, just for honesty's sake. From some of the posts, I think men are all being tarred with the same brush here - trust me, the same thing happens to us.... Naughty girls. NAUGHTY NAUGHTY NAUGHTY!!! ;) - Posted from rhpmobile I was trying to be careful NOT to tar all men with the same brush, as you say... I know there are exceptions, but I think, by and large, men can and do lie (or just ignore), more so than women... But as you say, many women do the same thing... It's happened to me.
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RHP User
9 years ago
They are avoiding any interaction,they have moved on due to lack of interest,in their mind they are doing you a favour..they close their eyes,stick their fingers in their ears and humxxFreya
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RHP User
9 years ago
- They're scared of themselves.... - They need to justify moving onto someone else; and by painting you as a cling on when you continue to message them; they get their justification..... But it can summed up in two words.... Defence mechanism 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
It is because people are cowards. Plus we all like to avoid difficult situations, some can handle them better than others. That is all.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Doctor Phil and Opera would be proud of you all. pfffft
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RHP User
9 years ago
Women block men, rather than telling them they've changed their mind and are no longer interested. It's easier.
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RHP User
9 years ago
communicate. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
would of hurt as much as not telling you ! You already know your answer felt in you, instinct intuition is near always correct . - Posted from rhpmobile
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Hottie1
9 years ago
Both Meeka and Meander clearly outline it for me. 'Rejecting' someone is a hard thing to do. Is it cowardly, self preservation, inability to communicate, the reasons are many. Have you missed any 'clues' to what he was 'trying' to say, where you more invested in this than was discussed? When I've invested in someone and I feel things have changed, I ask the questions? If I get nothing in return then it's over. I have given people second chances (Willow was spot on) and you know what, I shouldn't have 😕 You can't control the behaviours of others but you can control how you deal with it. Very few people have the emotional and social intelligence to effectively deal with others. Sorry OP, but I'd suggest move on and if he comes back for seconds, just remember how you're feeling right now. Mary xx
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inspirit
9 years ago
If you don't hear from some one, then that itself answers all you questions in itself with what ever reasoning you want to give yourself. Sometimes I have heard woman can get to emotional in FWB friendships. All of a sudden they want more where as the guy doesn't. It is easier for him to just have no contact if he doesn't want the same, to avoid all the confrontation. Lets face it..........some woman do over analyse an FWB friendship. Ohhhh and it is not just SOME men who are C***Z - I MIGHT be one of those too BUT men get it and they don't ask questions. They just get it! It's not rocket science.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Maybe its just easier for them rather than receiving the pursuing emotional response....which does not interest them. Im guessing some men could ask all of your questions in a rant as well...its not just a male thing. - Posted from rhpmobile
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discreet381
9 years ago
Same has happened to me, & I hate ignorant people, there is no need for it, men should just say,, sorry not interested instead of leaving u dangling on a string - Posted from rhpmobile
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TallBaldSexy
9 years ago
But where was he at? Was he indicating interest more than a sexual friendship? Were you more attached than he was? Was he just out of an LTR? Was his divorce finalised ?....I'm not defending communication ineptitude.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I read the OP as a little bit more than a couple of hook ups. The L word is mentioned. Thats not something you throw at someone after a casual liasion.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'discreet381' Same has happened to me, & I hate ignorant people, there is no need for it, men should just say,, sorry not interested instead of leaving u dangling on a string - Posted from rhpmobile It is ignorant and cruel to just leave someone dangling without telling them why or what it is that's changed... Man or not, there's such a thing as 'common human decency'... The last time I checked, men were humans... Personally, I have gooten overly sick of the amount of women I come across on all on here and on Vanilla sites, that are so damaged that they just can't trust a man anymore... It fucks it up for the blokes who are genuine and basically kind and caring. Sick of paying for insecure, cowardly dope's mistakes and weaknesses...
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RHP User
9 years ago
There are so many questions that need answering here, the problem is people. Man or woman, we are dammed if we do, dammed if we don't. Communication is key, especially if we are just playing or FWB. If you told him you loved him and he backed off you probably scared him off. My advice, if you can't keep the emotion out, and expect others to have your standards...............don't play the game.
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TallBaldSexy
9 years ago
Insightful dynamics - both are evidenced
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RHP User
9 years ago
Meant for me??? Or OP?
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RHP User
9 years ago
In regards to this post I WAS NOT ACTUALLY SPEAKING ABOUT SOMEONE ON HERE!!! So if you think that sorry to burst your bubble. This is not the only place I know guys or gals from. So don't assume anything. Ask me who it's about & I'll tel you.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Thanks for all your responses. I actually met the guy off Facebook. I had been seeing him quite a few times. He told me he loved me & wanted me to be his gf. I told him NO I couldn't & then he blocks me. I have found out he's actually got a gf already. I mean WTF?!!! Maybe if he was single & we kept seeing each other maybe we might of become a couple. Who knows what the future could've held. Oh well his loss. Moving on.
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RHP User
9 years ago
The way the OP wrote it, it sounds like the guy had already said he loved her.
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Tall74nHard9
9 years ago
Quoting 'willowtree_2' The way the OP wrote it, it sounds like the guy had already said he loved her. Don't know Wt, the way I read it, it seems more like OP was hoping for that word to surface. Some clarification from the OP perhaps ? Btw, like the current pic you are using - nicely classy. Tall
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RHP User
9 years ago
The guy had said he loved me. Then he wants to go exclusive & I say no, then blocks me. Hmmmmmm. So much for loving me, hey!!! But the questions are just general questions as this isn't the 1st nor will it be the last situation like this I imagine. I just wish guys & even gals would grow balls (so to speak) & let the other person know what's going on rather then leave them guessing.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Reason people just ignore messages it saves having to answer all the "but why's"
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RHP User
9 years ago
Case closed. Lol
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RHP User
9 years ago
Real men do communicate. All the rest are not worth your time and you should not waste your emotional energy on them. If they don't act decently they either have something to hide (such as your facebook find) or are only thinking of themselves. Either way a bullet dodged.
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Tall74nHard9
9 years ago
Quoting 'blondie46' Thanks for all your responses. I actually met the guy off Facebook. I had been seeing him quite a few times. He told me he loved me & wanted me to be his gf. I told him NO I couldn't & then he blocks me. I have found out he's actually got a gf already. I mean WTF?!!! Maybe if he was single & we kept seeing each other maybe we might of become a couple. Who knows what the future could've held. Oh well his loss. Moving on. He was hedging his bets. Wanted to find out who he would have had the better chance with, and then make a move in that direction. When you said no, he had to back onto his other gf. Blocking you may have meant either of two things...1.. he was really pissed off with you for not agreeing to his request for becoming exclusive, or 2... he didn't want to chance his other gf finding out about you if she happened to snoop on his computer. I think he possibly was genuine, and was "torn between two lovers" and wanted to find out his best option. When you said no, you made up his mind for him. Cheers,Tall
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RHP User
9 years ago
Because most "men" are dicks!!!
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RHP User
9 years ago
You know I'm reading through some of the responses and one thought has occurred to me..... That is, the way we behave is a learned behaviour. From the day we are born we start learning how to navigate through the world, this, in the early years, comes from your parents (have you ever done or said something then said "I sound like my mum or dad") So avoidance behaviour is something that was also learned. I like to think of myself as a lover not a fighter. I avoid conflict, I hate it when my kids fight, I hate it when friends fight, I hate it when my partner fights. What the OP is describing is simply avoidance (it's not passive aggressive bullshit as one response suggested). Whilst I have no idea what was actually going through the guys mind, nor how he felt, it seems that he couldn't just say so... simple..... Importantly, it's not (and never is) a reflection on you. So wondering what if I did something differently.... is also just a waste of time..... OP (will somebody tell me what that stands for? apart from Over Proof!!) I am sorry about the situation though. What I said above doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt for the recipient......
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RHP User
9 years ago
Not all men are like this. Some are just assholes that like to play until something they believe is better comes along. However this behaviour is not limited to men. Women do this as well. One did it to me just last week. - Posted from rhpmobile
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blackbig
9 years ago
I concur .with you . FWB gets overanalysed ...it isn't uncommon at all😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Oh Blondie - Why oh why? Do you all have time to read 60,000 words for the litany of reasons why both men (and women probably) run for the hills. My own view is all the questions you have posed, are in fact mind games. I can't play them and anyone who starts will just lose me from the word go. They are exhausting and emotionally draining in the extreme. Just say it exactly the way it is, or what you do and don't want, otherwise please take a move on notice. In a nutshell Blondie your list of rhetorical questions is the main reason that relationships fail. People fail to communicate with each other and be honest about their feelings. I suspect a man or women who can communicate honestly and with some sense of integrity is a rare breed indeed. I'd rather be told with a blunt stick (metaphorically of course) with the absolute truth of why I'm getting the boot. You can't improve yourself, or take on change if no one ever tells you that you are annoying the hell out of them because of reason x), y) or z). I look at it like this, the first guy says he doesn't adore my garish love of bright green and pink shoes that I wear out on every single occasion - because they're my favourite, well I'd shrug and move on. The 10th guy says the same, same, it's time to sit up and take the criticism on board. As the saying goes, 'If someone tells you you're a horse once, ignore them. Hearing the same thing for the sixth time running, - get a saddle and ride it off into the sunset'.
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
Yes.. Silent Treatment is passive aggressive behaviour. 😏 MsFoxy
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inspirit
9 years ago
Sooo many expectations of us who choose to not to continue communication to avoid a headfuck of those NOT emotionally sexually mature. Call me what you want - heartless, gutless, a coward, what ever - it is just easier. As I SAID men get it though WOMAN do not. It's a process after all and I guess one for seasoned "daters" who just do not want the emotional attachment. ........as for OP - I call your bluff. Why the hell would you even care if he blocked you??? Seems more to this equation than you lead us to believe........... Who cares where the fuck you met him, , makes no difference in the scheme of things? Just Sayin...... Foxy........... your conclusion of "passive aggressive" has no bearing in here in this instance - I don't believe anyway. So many judgements of men in this post.
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inspirit
9 years ago
Quoting 'MelbsGirl' Because most "men" are dicks!!! Be stung, though no need to put "Most Men" in the same category. GEEZES get a grip girl!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Usually I would imagine guys can think of you as an object, not deserving of an explanation - no loss to you, why would you want someone like that in your personal space. Other reasons could be, emotionally closed off / not wanting that potentially awkward moment of hurting your feelings, so avoids this all together.. I have been guilty of this practice in my own life, avoiding problems. . Scared of the reactions.. Someone once told me, you have to let people have their reaction, even if you don't like the results, at least it's honest.. Just my thoughts 😄 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
It's only passive aggressive if people notice. Haha.
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RHP User
9 years ago
What the? If you are seeing someone for a while and thy drop off the face of the earth, block you and don't contact you anymore. That is normal behavious is it?? Surely it depends on the type of friendship you have. If I Have a FB who I only contacts for sex, sure. But if you are supposed to be friends... It is gutless especially of they have asked you the question. Blackbig, if it is common for you and women don't contact you afterwards. It means the sex wasn't that good. Just a thought - maybe you could ask for some feedback on how to improve your performance. Meow. Is that passive agressive or just plain bitch. Lol.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Jaded much, MelbsGirl?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Maybe in her experience most men are dicks. So what.
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RHP User
9 years ago
That's not what was said and you know it.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Inspirit, If you have such little regard for people that you wouldn't get back to them if they asked to see you again. How about be flattered that someone thinks you are good enought to see again. Although obviously you and Blackbig are having lots or pretty ordinary sex. I can only go from my experience - If the sex is ordinary/boring/not good enough to repeat you don't contact them again. I do that as well but if they contact you again it's only fair show To show them enough respect to answer them and not just block them.
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RHP User
9 years ago
That is her opinion based on her experiences no doubt.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Where did you get the bright green and pick shoes? They sound fabulous.
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RHP User
9 years ago
*pink
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inspirit
9 years ago
I have had some absolutely amazing sex with people. Personally I do not want too be in contact with them again due to the emotional attachments that develop AND they DO develop. I am unlike most of the forum woman on here whom are looking for the proverbial FWB which turns into emotional "stuff" and then, when it goes to shit they hammer the poor man in here as it didn't go accordingly to their agenda. I am emotionally unavailable for the time being and have been for a while. See it how you want in your own little world, tho at least do not jump too conclusions on my own nor any ones sex lives. I would take a bet that MOST people like myself ALWAYS lay down RULES before an encounter. SOME people just feel they can push those rules to suit their own hidden agenda. AMEN!
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RHP User
9 years ago
You are that scared? Okay..........
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RHP User
9 years ago
what is there to get? If you meet up with the clear understanding it's a one off you barely even to bother to ask each other your names. We have all done that before. So why don't all the men with this intention tell women straight up that it is unlikely to be more than a one off then????? I believe this question is about people that become friends or have an ongoing type of thing going on. So some people treat their friends poorly I suppose is the conclusion here I guess. By the way, you can totally be FWB without strong emotional attachments developing.
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joanne1991
9 years ago
Just take it for what it is although I should take my own advice I over think everything lol
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inspirit
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' what is there to get? If you meet up with the clear understanding it's a one off you barely even to bother to ask each other your names. We have all done that before. Not me - I know there name and generally chat for a bit before a meet to see if there is some kid of connection........Again you are gerneralising - o why don't all the men with this intention tell women straight up that it is unlikely to be more than a one off then????? I believe this question is about people that become friends or have an ongoing type of thing going on. So some people treat their friends poorly I suppose is the conclusion here I guess. By the way, you can totally be FWB without strong emotional attachments developing. REALLY??? Have you?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Or do you think everyone women will fall in love with anyone she bonks more than twice???
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RHP User
9 years ago
I mean "every woman". Or maybe you feel that you will.
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inspirit
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Or do you think everyone women will fall in love with anyone she bonks more than twice???
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inspirit
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I mean "every woman". Or maybe you feel that you will. Sorry too burst your bubble, though men do too. LMAO - The only person I would fall for, would be the myself. Oh hang on, I already have.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Whether it's your feelings about yourself or them, as much as it can be hurtful, you will grow from the experience., though personally, I'd rather recover from a broken heart than go back to low esteem! - Posted from rhpmobile
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Twisted_Mister
9 years ago
You girls are all like pirhanas on this one. 'Men are dicks, passive aggressive, all bastards, most don't care' etc etc and then when a differing opinion appears you all turn on each other!!!! Let's put me in the OP's scenario. I have two FWB. With one I get on really well and start to fall for her. I consider ditching FWB 2 as I think I'm ready to go exclusive. She knocks me back. I then think 'I can't do this with a girl not prepared to go 1 on 1 after I invested most of my emotions in her'. You wouldn't see me for dust either. And then to run the all men are bastards line because you didn't get the best of both worlds - Jeebus..... Exhibit A. One of the many and varied reasons blokes do it so tough on these sites. - Posted from rhpmobile
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inspirit
9 years ago
Tsk Tsk - That's not a very true statement there. We don't all think men are twisted
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
Haha! Please don't twist my words around..Seeing I was the one who mentioned about "Passive Aggressive behaviour " I will point out I didn't mention which sex (male or female) I pointed out the "behaviour" being Silent Treatment and why people block for no reason and why people avoid conversations etc...I stand by my comment. :) Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
That's not fair. There are those of us that will always talk about men AND women in our posts, and preferable "people". A couple of of us will also continue to pull the others up on their man-bashing to the point where our loyalty to the "sisterhood" (fuck that word) has been questioned. Inspirit, Meeka, Foxy and myself included.
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RHP User
9 years ago
In the real world there is a overwhelming tendency for what goes around to come around. When you get hit by same shit you standing around with your heads up your arses mumbling your innocence will get you no where and inevitable all you see is shit. Taking at least half the blame, accepting you are as imperfect as all, attempting to find out why you were a dick and what you can do to not be a dick next time makes for a much nicer world, not only for your self but those around you. Really you are adults now you should know this.
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Twisted_Mister
9 years ago
I'll concede that one and yes I can remember some man backing posts. But it's the generalisations I object to. If I had written the OP's post (no disrespect to you OP) about women there would have been hell to pay. However - well played ladies, well played :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Instinct/intuition is a hell of a lot more reliable than anything said or done.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Because some men want their cake and want to eat it too. Somewhere along the line he heard he was a great lover, so he wants to share that with as many women as possible. As we all know he shouldve stopped when he heard this and made that girl his own to save all the heartache... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'xeena' Where did you get the bright green and pick shoes? They sound fabulous. Xeena, I'm so sorry. Those shoes aren't real. Simply a figment of my fertile imagination that I used to make a salient point about being open to having conversations with people, when you end up on the receiving end of a conversation with someone, and they tell you something, you probably don't want to hear but perhaps need to hear. As the saying goes, 'Don't shoot the messenger.' Hmm perhaps I should have a career change and take up shoe design. I'm not sure pink and green go together though?
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Seachange
9 years ago
Quoting 'MelbsGirl' Because most "men" are dicks!!! I believe the above statement is just unfair and very harsh on men. Just another man-bashing statement thta is more of a reflection on yourself than the men. NO, 'most' men are not dicks. 'Some' men are dicks just as some women are horrible to men. It goes both ways. There are lots of wonderful, sexy kind men out there, just be patient about meeting them, screen them well to see if your needs match. Most of the men I have met here are great, I have screened them properly but a couple has escaped or managed to manipulate their way pass my screening process and I am wiser for it. At the end of the day, the onus is on oneself to sift thru the rubbish to find that little nugget of gold. You have the power to make and let that happen. It is called choice. Don't blame the men.
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RHP User
9 years ago
That maybe when u said No to going exclusive he thought well thats the end of that then. So if he told you he loved you and you didn't want to go exclusive with him, then he probably doesn't want you around any longer as there is nothing left to pursue. He wants something you weren't prepared to give, so he's moved on. Blocking you so he doesn't have to be reminded you knocked him back so he can move on with his life is probably just his way of moving forward. Why it's such a big deal to you is the question. He asked you to go exclusive, you said no, so it's fairly obvious you weren't as into him as he was you. Move on.
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RHP User
9 years ago
He probably doesn't believe he should show any more consideration than he's been shown by women in the past. It's a two way street and both sexes are guilty of that behavior.
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xcentrix
9 years ago
It is a socially aspect... "mum said if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all.." And too many people believe this to be right for everything... If people where up front and said thanks but no thanks maybe the dumped people could learn what their lacking in relationships were maybe they could look for the difference in the people they are picking or look for a change in themselves???
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'xcentrix' It is a socially aspect... "mum said if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all.." And too many people believe this to be right for everything... If people where up front and said thanks but no thanks maybe the dumped people could learn what their lacking in relationships were maybe they could look for the difference in the people they are picking or look for a change in themselves??? Personal growth? To be honest I've not met anyone over the age of 30 that's keen on changing themselves. By that time we are who we are and always will be, sometimes we click sometimes we don't. Are any of us qualified to critique a person as to what is right or wrong with them? What I find extraordinarily hot about a woman may be a huge turn off to another guy so each critique will be vastly different and neither truly right or wrong. Why fuck with their head and tell them something they thought was a quality is the reason you're not into them?A great example is I like confident curvy women, I find beauty in subtle imperfections, I love when women look like women, stretch marks, love handles the whole deal. I also find independence and confidence sexy when many guys will like a thin woman with an arse you can crack walnuts on, who's clingy and emotionally reliant on their man.I wouldn't dare tell a woman I'm not interested because she in my eyes has physical or personality failings, it would be simply "you're not for me."
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brently
9 years ago
To have so many questions like this, you must be really hurting. Not sure that even if you knew all the "correct" answers you would be any happier. My feeling is that you need to heal you so that none of these questions are relevant. I would say you have attracted this current pain into your life, everything is his fault and nothing is yours. He is the perpetrator and you are the victim. When you can turn that around and can stop being the victim you will not tolerate being treat in such a way. Energetically will won't be able to attracting guys in that will treat you this way. We are always teaching people what we will tolerate and how we will allow ourselves to be treated. What do you stand for and what will you tolerate from now on? I feel this is a better quality question for you at this time. I hope you can find some peace soon.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Why do some women treat men the same way you have been traeted, because unfortunately we are human and neither sex is perfect, both sexes just like to think they are!!!!
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RHP User
9 years ago
My guess is that men are not tuned in with their emotions n feelings as women are! We know that women use both brain hemispheres for emotions n men use only the left! Also men are not encouraged by parents to put their feelings into words! Yes we come from Mars......, - Posted from rhpmobile
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MrPlayful
9 years ago
As Meeka said, some people are cowards, and prefer to avoid difficulties. And yes some are better at that others. Those who do forget their manners and that their actions make things harder for the other party. Well do they forget? Probably not! So what it means is that they don't have the common courtesy to speak about their feelings, to tell the other how it is. It might not be an easy conversation to have but it is the right thing to do. And most people don't seem to respect that if they give others the respect they deserve, then they will most likely get that same respect back. They might get a question or two, so the other party understands why, but the other person should respect them more by having that conversation. It really shouldn't be that hard. Be open. Be honest. Be respectful.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Infinite_Desire' My guess is that men are not tuned in with their emotions n feelings as women are! We know that women use both brain hemispheres for emotions n men use only the left! Also men are not encouraged by parents to put their feelings into words! Yes we come from Mars......, - Posted from rhpmobile Yeah right, and the minute you do your a wuss.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Blondie he was having an affair< Hence the let downs. Doesn't take much to work out. If he is not with you on the weekends> he isn't in to you. But don't go blaming yourself. But don't blame men as well. Some women are really cling ons as well. remember we you are writing your feelings. Swingers . No loves they swing.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Are the men in your life cowards, or if they are leaving you is there other motivation. Firstly using the word COWARD is incorrect usage. A coward should be used in its original meaning, someone who runs away during combat. A HERO can be someone who is brave in an intense and hazardous situation. This does not include, AFL/Rugby players, cricketers, or fast motor car drivers. I have put these descriptions out so the you are using incorrect terminology. Men can be bastards (Even in both senses of the word), prats, twats, ignorant bastards, wassicks, idiots, mummies boy, players, hopeless shits, and totally immoral. You can add to the list..... because most of it is true.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I always appreciate and English lesson, but you first saying the word coward should be used correctly but then giving both an incorrect definition and etymology has me confused. What did you mean?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Some men are afraid to disappoint, some may be trying to keep you hanging on for those times of need... I separated with my ex wife 8 months ago and since then I have completely removed my filter and always tell people exactly what i'm thinking.. Without being an asshole about it obviously. I must say I've found it extremely liberating and my friends are a lot happier for it and surprisingly none of them have stopped wanting to be friends, on the contrary they've been asking for more of my time.. The answers to your questions will differ from guy to guy... They were only after a once off, they're married, they're not really that into you etc.. The blanket answer for all of them is the same though, if you haven't heard from them and they aren't communicating with you effectively it's because they're obviously not the one for you... Good hunting
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