M53 F49
Why is it that a Women expresses her true desires she is slammed?
September 13 2017
Comments
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RHP User
7 years ago
No complaints from here. Has someone slammed you personally?
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RHP User
7 years ago
I think honest communication is a must for a fulfilling sex life. Nobody should be slammed for expressing their desires, especially when in a relationship whether it be a couple, FWB,... Does the other party have the right to say no thanks not my thing. Of course, but you should always be able to express your feelings, thoughts and desires. I personally much prefer it that way. I want to know what others want and desire. Lets put it all on the table and see what comes. As long as everyone is happy. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Not sure what triggered your post and I can't see your profile so ??? I've always supported women expressing their wants and desires, I think women here should stop hiding behind their guest status and get out there on the front foot and seek what they desire rather than waiting for it to come to them, if that intimidates some men too fucking bad. Thing is I think it intimidates many women too. Equality is not something that can be gifted, you have to own it. Men often face the "damned if you do and damned if you don't" scenario, "feelings and emotions' are a classic, we're constantly told to talk and vent rather than the stoic bottle it up and say nothing but the moment we do there is an immediate backlash of being called whimps and whiners, life at the sexual coalface has difficulties for men and women, whatever sex you are male, female or a subsection thereof own your space and be proud of it, and above all respect yourself and others on your journey. Love youse all. R
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The_Antichrist
7 years ago
Ok...yay for you :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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swingalingson
7 years ago
Most couples I have met in different swing clubs, when I was younger thought the instigators were mainly the men.Now that im older a large amount of women in couples are the ones that suggest to the man to go and check out a swingers club. And yes in many parties the women are the ones who make the the first move. So there are alot of men who do listen to women and let them explore sexually their fantasies. Thanks girls for putting the ideas in minds and thanks men support the women to bring out the inner sexual demon👿
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RHP User
7 years ago
Thank you gents for your comments - I find that when I say what I feel I guess I want the better half of me to express his feelings in details or at least meet me with a bit of what he wants. I am a little confused on how the male thinks?Why is it so difficult for men to express exactly what they want? I feel this is now all my idea and not his! That I am at fault and not him? Why is it so hard to share your sexual feelings with women and Why is it so difficult for men to believe us women?I have been honest as much as I know about myself I just want to hear him tell me what he wants? Or am I at fault for even talking about how I feel - All I want is to find out what he wants without the bullshit crap.. Truth is it that difficult in sharing your desires for a man?
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RHP User
7 years ago
Something I said ? Oh well, good topic for the grown ups.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Hmmmm ... Interesting topic. Being a sexually confident and assertive woman I have never been afraid to go after what I want, in or out of the bedroom, and I openly express my wants and desires when I am with a lover/playmate. I really don't care whether it intimidates a man or not, although having said that, any man who is intimidated by my sexual confidence is not someone I would be interested in spending any time with anyway. I think communication is the key and also knowing and being honest with oneself first and formost ... In my experience knowing and accepting myself assists me in having the confidence to express my needs and desires and also helps determine the kind of person I choose to share my body with ... I agree that as a woman at times I may have been judged but at the end of the day if I don't respect myself enough to speak my mind and express myself, how can I expect to have the respect of others ... I also think there is a huge difference between being assertive and being aggressive .. Good luck with it all OP... Own your sexual confidence and be proud I say 💋Xx - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
I am a straight man and a straight talker too. I think females have been abused by the world for eons by seeing them as sexual objects or just child bearing instruments. (There are some really good men out there though.....but where do women like nice men these days LOL lets not even open that can) Must I say though that if you were going to share such topics with your partner then tacfully flow the conversation to make HIM feel like he took this decision LOL Or else find a man who is fine with you expressing this area the way you do since you personality seems bold. This subjugation has went on for so long and its re-emphasised for so long from so many sources that it has somewhere seeped into the male ego psyche which doesnt like to hear a sexually empowered woman expressing herself. On another note, I think the topic of SEX is still too much of a taboo in the minds of some people. Cheers, Rob (Dr Phil's cuz lol)
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RHP User
7 years ago
Firstly, you are definitely not wrong in expressing how you feel and being honest. Potentially he is confused/conflicted about what he wants. There can be things that sound great in fantasy, but when you get there in reality it not what you thought it would be. Long time back with my ex, she kept asking about having a 3some, ffm. I wasnt as keen at the time, but decided I was happy to experiment/experience (you are only young once 😉). Anyway we got it organised, she was so excited, everyone was getting naked going well, the other girl kissed me and bam it was all chaos. She got mad at me, called me a cheater,.... Total backflip. My point is that he may not really know what he wants. He may not want to say what he wants because he is scaried it could hurt your relationship. He may have said that he wants something in the heat of the moment and then has thought about it more and is worried about implications. So many things could be happening. Sounds to me like you need to explain how you are feeling, in terms of your frustration. Just ask him to be honest and open. In these conversations there needs to be total openess/non judgemental and acceptance of the other persons needs and wants. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Your man might be as confused as we are.Try not to over-read things too much.We're really not that complicated, usually.
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HotNightsGC
7 years ago
As long as I please myself and my man, I couldn't care what impressions I put out into the world by my desires. My desires are just that. Mine. Society, or specifically the 'vanilla' side of society will always have a certain percentage of the population that see women's desires as being something that should be silent. That's thankfully something that we're seeing less of these days. Women have voices and generally aren't afraid to use them. Stuff anyone that doesn't like it! - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
7 years ago
Because weak, brittle ego led men just can't handle a woman's sexuality.... .... when that sexuality rejects him. It challenges his ego on a very base level, so he overcompensates for his inadequacies and props himself up by shaming her. I'm certain many women in here see that in their message inbox. Love.... The Cat - Posted from rhpmobile
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inspirit
7 years ago
Religion. Personally tho, I think men are slammed far worse than woman. It appears your better half is not expressing his desires as you think he should, Hence your annoyance at him. Is it fair to say he is not fullfilling yours either. Kinks you have to be on the same page, otherwise in my experience, neither get the full empowerment of them, sexually, mentally, physically and spiritually too. I may be on the wrong path here, though I suggest you try to communicate a little better. Maybe he is "shy" and feels you might not like what he is into..... fear of rejection maybe. I really don't know. Just a sugestion. On the other point of woman being slammed, I tend to disagree. I have found expressing my sexuality intrigues people, who have not ventured far out if vanilla. The only negative is that most think youre a very very naughty girl rather than thinking you are just a sexually adventurous girl. The ones out of vanilla high school get it. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Clearly something has happened to spark this forum. I totally disagree. I've never been shamed for anything I am into. I don't think women and men are any different in that regard. It totally depends on he person you are sharing that sort of info with. - Posted from rhpmobile
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inspirit
7 years ago
In reference to your post. Yes the ID gets all bent out of shape behind a key board and when guzzling booze like a thirsty neanderthal who has been "fighting, fucking, feeding and feasting" (The 4F Club) for a week. However, generally speaking, men and womam do not slam ones sexuality, except of course your sexual preferance (the plebicide) and some kinks in the world of BDSM. Could it be the OP is referring to this and not rejection. ? - Posted from rhpmobile
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
Never found this to be the case. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Expressing openly people can be perceived as there egos are taking over. I believed I could express openly to someone I cared so deeply for in hope he would reciprocate. But nevertheless he didn't talk with me and I began holding a grudge and acting out because of this. I wanted him to be with me on all levels but in reality some people can't or won't for there own reasons. But I'm sure one day a unicorn will come along and be open and caring enough to share all there inner thoughts :) in the meantime keep smiling and keep the ego in check he he. I do miss the elusive man though, oh well sending love out to him anyways. We are on two different play grounds and I can accept that :) everyone deserves love. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Ok, men have the same feelings as woman, it may shock woman and some men to know that tho, we all want to be desired and wanted. Have wants and desires. I aggree with the men get slamped far worse. If a man right that his into rough sex etc, he is accused of have no respect for woman, tho the exact same women say they are into that type of thimg. im guessing they wanna be the giver not the receiver. Most people i find are sexual dominant, or wanna be. Even when a person says their submissive, they say they wanna be dominated a certain way, really that is dominating to control that. Men and woman are very much the same, both wanna express their feelings with out being ridiculed for it or have their feelings up for negotiation. I find i dont discuss my feelings with women partners or friends any more only male friends, as men i find are less likely to judge. I have never had any problem expressing my feelings, but after having a few serious relationships, each gf in the beginning would say you are different to other guys, you wear your heart on your sleeve. I had a fuckbuddy earlier this year who i expressed something to her, i cant remembered what it was just how i feel, and she said do men feel like that too, i said do you?, she said yes but im a woman, i laughed and i said men have feelings too. My dad always says a womans wants a man to be a man not one not their girlfriends. communication is only a fantasy woman want. - Posted from rhpmobile
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The_Phoenix
7 years ago
Could this be more about how we perceive ourselves rather than what others think? It can be very difficult to love yourself if rejection and slander are regularly sent your way. Society has taught us to hide our sexual fantasies if not considered "normal" what ever normal is😂 I know for myself a enjoy a woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to express that. I'm actually in awe of one who does exactly what she wants, takes steps to get what she wants and follows through. Do I judge her? No way. We have become a great friends. I wish as a man I could do the same, sexually I'm stuck with who I am and who I want to be ( or rather who I think I want to be ) Sexual exploration as a mid 40s guy is challenging to say the least. I certainly feel more judgement if I express my desires in RL. ( yes yes, I shouldn't but we all have a little demon who hangs around ) I've found RHP to be a great leveller, truth appears to flow freely. Why? Because we aren't afraid to express ourselves to others living to the same beliefs. You wouldn't go to church and start spruiking your upcoming bukkake gangbang 🤦♂️ Well that how I see it anyway. Cue judgment.... it's part of my therapy 😉 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Oh well men are considered to be pervs no matter what - Posted from rhpmobile
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EarthQueen
7 years ago
Getting a bit deeper here because these conversations interest me and I have been reading a lot about it lately. Could it be that when you are open about what you want to others that don't feel as confident/assertive as you, they can feel threatened? I know this is common in women and could imagine it being the same with a partner who is not open minded.You asking for, or telling what you want might seem as a rejection of what they are offering. Also underlying shame that they can't meet the needs of their partner. They aren't "good" in bed. The why aren't I good enough question? For men I think sometimes being vulnerable can be hard. Sometimes, I think they would feel they would be stuck between a rock and a hard place. As Isaac said in his post , and I have been reading author Brene Brown who researchs this, her take. Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough. The number one shame trigger for men is being perceived as weak. Men walk this tightrope where any sign of weakness illicits shame, and so they're afraid to make themselves vulnerable for fear of looking weak. But if you can't be vulnerable, then you can't truly grow and be your best self. Women can either embrace and help men walk across the tightrope, or we can be the ones who push them off. Quoting 'issaac' My dad always says a womans wants a man to be a man not one not their girlfriends. communication is only a fantasy woman want. - Posted from rhpmobileOP I don't in anyway think you shouldn't ask for what you want, or do what you want. I just think that it can push peoples buttons because sometimes they wish they could do the same and then it comes out as judgement.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Men are weak, emotionally, they haven't had much training or practice or necessity because violence is a substitute that readily comes to hand.
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EarthQueen
7 years ago
Not all men, but I see your point. Being vulnerable, perceived as weakness, not handling it, toughening up, all that. It's sad. It's no wonder violence/anger/depression/suicide is so prevelant when boys are often encouraged subtly from a young age to shut that side down and keep it in. But going off topic now. That's a whole new ball game. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Posts and messages are too long. Me: Hi, wanna fuck?Her: Sure. what's your first name?Me: Steve and I'll pay for the room in the CBD.Her: Cool, here's my number and call me. Next question?....
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RHP User
7 years ago
Me: Hi, my name is Steve and I hold a PhD. Do you want to fuck?Her: Sure. I'm not here to trade cookie recipes. Could this be a long term thing?Me: Maybe and I'll pay for the room in the CBD.Her: Cool, here's my number and call me. Intent, action and ultimately the result?
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RHP User
7 years ago
Absolutely adored your piece on here so very true I sometimes believe that "Men are the Silent Hero's, We often talk about men being the providers, the pillars of our walls they hold us as a family, wife and children, son, older brother most are bred with this amazing ability to be strong won't crack. However, have you ever looked at their faces some you can see so much pain, love, determination, pride and anger and the ankles of all men.... weakness, and fear. Us women also do amazing things but where we forget (including myself) is to help, listen, love, re-assurance (this is very important most of all validation of what he, as a man provides, is his spine, its the main force they are born with.. along with pride and honor, strength and this power this is called a man. Jesus, that is a lot for a person to have deep inside of him (alone) he can't complain to his mates, he won't tell his wife mainly because he doesn't want her to see him vulnerable and fragile.. to a man that is a sign of weakness. The Silent Hero's are just that silent and sometimes very lonely, scared, and every emotion a female feels.. how often to you see a man cry... statistics say women will live longer than a man.. why? Becuase they are socially accepted to feel emotion, they can cry in fact they are allowed to let it rip.. men are not.. Growth is more or if not equal to both men and women to change your pattern you have to have someone to help you see your path.. this takes patience, understanding, you have to listen and love and allow both to speak with respect, love, and humanity towards each other.. this is difficult for men to allow themselves to do this.. like "eARTH qUEEN STATED, HOWEVER, if we don't help each other grow how can you love deeply, without jealousy, without fear, move towards a better freer life with amazing open sexual experience like this site RHP. We all have to change and it doing that we all have to see what is working to and that is scary to anyone male or female remember negative thoughts.. are very powerful and easy to do... So, we need to pat ourselves on our backs say its ok sometimes when we are not stronger enough and the only way we are going to do that is helping each other with love and respect and most of all no judgment, labels, and reassurance. Anyway, I could go on and on about this subject but I have spent way too much time away from my husband who needs me.. (ps He wont admit that too you lol)
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bonefide
7 years ago
Not all of us are neanderthal's and some can string more than two words together. LOL person goals are just that work together u will both know if it's for u both. Positive vibezzzz ☺
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