RHP

RHP User

M51

Women are more inclined to want sex for pleasure than emotional intimacy ?

August 15 2013

This and some other interesting conclusions are drawn by Daniel Bergner’s "What Women Really Want" according to an article at dailylife.com.au. One of the ideas I thought would resonate with some on RHP and would likely generate robust discussion is"the entire cultural script of restrained female sexuality is simply a ‘fairy-tale’ designed to comfort a society that has pegged social order to monogamy?"Would you agree with the sentiment of this assertion ?Full article here http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-opinion/why-do-women-deny-their-sexual-desires-20130814-2rvr4.html

Comments

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    11 years ago

    lol I lost interest at "restrained female sexuality". To quote Racey...., Some girls will, some girls won't Some girls need a lot of lovin' and some girls don't In my world, the girls that do, do so willingly and wantingly... ....and those that don't... will, once they have trust and comfort, and realise what they've been denying themselves due to the lie of social conditioning. ;-) But it's sort of a non issue in RHP. I doubt there are many prudish types mingling within these walls DG

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    me man.. me want blowjob...!!   nothing else matters

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Two things. 1. You have just reiterated the statement in another way... So you agree then. And 2. Please prey tell, when did you grow a vagina and nominate yourself our spokeswoman?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    want physical pleasure and intimacy....most women seeking only physical pleasure here, in RHP world, have an intimate relationship with a husband or partner....some women can not handle intimate relationships at all because of past experiences. Yes women have been socialised to believe the''good girl' myth,''promiscuous'',''slut'', ''skanky ho'',are terms used to describe women who freely express their sexuality....still.   Throughout history women have been labelled and punished for their sexuality,Mata Hari was executed by the French during WW1,not because she was a spy but because she was deemed a promiscuous woman. Mary Magadalene was deemed a prostitute by Pope Gregory in the 8thC,then in the 1960s, the then Pope at Vatican 2,said ''whoops ,sorry ,Mary we was wrong " Today women are still sold into sexual slavery,raped in wars,suffer clitoridectomies, and arranged marriages....... But in this country,we have many freedoms,and to be a woman who can freely express her sexuality, is one of them.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    But women are judged harsher for expressing their sexual freedom. Men and women are the same some want sex some want love some want both some just as happy being single and celibate it depends on the person not the 'social conditioning' if that was true we would still be waiting to get married before having sex- Posted from rhpmobile

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    11 years ago

    Paintme You need to read my comment again, methinks. :-) It's not about the vagina. It's about the brain DG

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    'twas not I.

  • chevtrek

    chevtrek

    11 years ago

    Some girls will some girls wont. But some girls change there mind often so I do not believe you can set any tag unless women start thinking like men....LOL

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    you fckd up... *grins*   I did that once before.. emailled a girl.... called her the wrong name...   *sheeeeese*

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    11 years ago

    Apoligies miss paint... I really shouldn't be texting while driving! But correcting the identity makes the point jucier :-) Miss Meeka.... If you can use a strap on to simulate having a cock, I can use my mind to empathise first hand experiences with vaginas and their owners. (see what I did there lol) ;-) DG

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'cavey50' me man.. me want blowjob...!!   nothing else matters   You were in my cave and cried like a girl when I offered it up....lol ducking for cover now Lady T running for the hills

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Played a huge factor in the way women portray themselves sexually. For me, I do not care what society norms dictate. I am very affectionate and have no problems showing PDA or a tad of inappropriate behaviour, in or outside of the bedroom. I behave in a way that attracts the type of person that I want, who enjoys both intimacy and the pleasure that is derived from the experience. I want to left smiling for days and wanting more... I don't want one without the other.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Have a lot to loose if they tap into their sexuality. They also have a lot to gain.The thing is that it comes without warning, before you know it you touch finger tips with some tradie in your house and what you thought you never had fires up.You pass a man in the street and he looks at you, I mean really looks at you and thousand butterflies unleash in your belly.Its primal instinct thats there in all of us, just takes the right second the right person the right time for it to ignite.Every woman is different. Some never find it, some lock it up in a box , some are afraid of what others may think of them.How sad for women that we are judged by having desire.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    The implication is that women in general (the majority) are effectively living a lie and betraying their instinctive desires due to cultural conditioning. Should they manage to resist the pressures to conform to "a dictated normality" en-mass they would behave much like men do ? One upside springs straight to mind ... this would infer a 50/50 ratio by gender here at RHP ... what are you waiting for ladies ... rebel already !

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'grand_poobah' Played a huge factor in the way women portray themselves sexually. For me, I do not care what society norms dictate. I am very affectionate and have no problems showing PDA or a tad of inappropriate behaviour, in or outside of the bedroom. I behave in a way that attracts the type of person that I want, who enjoys both intimacy and the pleasure that is derived from the experience. I want to left smiling for days and wanting more... I don't want one without the other. I have always behaved well in certain socially situations that requires it. However among my RHP peers its time to relax, have fun, flirt and be joyous about sex. I too have no problem with PDA and a little naughtier if I can get away with it. Think slowly women are becoming more proactive about there sex lives compared to some prior generations.In fact that could be true about alot of different sexualities as well. Sex is awesome be honest about what you want and how you want it.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    not at all born out by modern sexual behaviour. Maybe that myth still has some power and warps some naive minds, but women are as promiscuous and sexual (even more so) as the men who fuck them. (are we talking promiscuity here? What does 'restrained female sexuality' actually mean? Get no pleasure, doesn't really like sex, doesn't have the ability to have mutiple sexual partners and feel fine about it?)It doesn't seem to line up with what we know, and hence 'expect', of women.In the past or for other current cultures this may have been/be a valid observation.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Silentlust' not at all born out by modern sexual behaviour. Maybe that myth still has some power and warps some naive minds, but women are as promiscuous and sexual (even more so) as the men who fuck them. (are we talking promiscuity here? What does 'restrained female sexuality' actually mean? Get no pleasure, doesn't really like sex, doesn't have the ability to have mutiple sexual partners and feel fine about it?)It doesn't seem to line up with what we know, and hence 'expect', of women.In the past or for other current cultures this may have been/be a valid observation. if your observations are true then how do you reconcile the massive percentage difference in participation rates on sites like RHP ? If it is not their restrained sexuality (which you posit is otherwise identical to that of men) what is it ?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Silentlust' (are we talking promiscuity here? What does 'restrained female sexuality' actually mean? Get no pleasure, doesn't really like sex, doesn't have the ability to have mutiple sexual partners and feel fine about it?) Now what does sexuality have to do with promiscuity? I think that I am quite sexual, I do get pleasure, I do like sex but I am not promiscuous. In fact I would probably be one of the women with the least amount of sexual partners in my life when compared to most women on RHP. Surprise surprise. Restraint on sexuality to me means the things we are taught, well what I was taught growing up, that sex should only be with people you are in love with and that it should be special, etc. The restraint is that your natural feelings toward intimacy with others has been skewed about what a good girl should do. How many girls don't give oral because it's disgusting. I was flabbergasted when a friend recently told me that lots of couples view oral sex as a treat. WTF??And you can say that... oh but we are all adults and we all have forgotten what we were told when we were young. Well, as a woman brought up in Catholic schools I say bullshit! You always have these things in the back of your mind. I still struggle today with the the thought that being with lots of people is cheap. I have watched women and men that are totally free and lost in the moment and I know that I never really am.... well very rarely. Mind you I am talking about group sex... not one on one.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Apoligies miss paint... I really shouldn't be texting while driving! But correcting the identity makes the point jucier :-) Miss Meeka.... If you can use a strap on to simulate having a cock, I can use my mind to empathise first hand experiences with vaginas and their owners. (see what I did there lol) ;-) DG But DG, I may be able to root your arse but that doesn't mean I can read your mind. Does it now. What would happen if we were all brought up with the belief that sexuality and sex is not linked to a gender, that you can be attracted to men and women. What would happen... how many men would actually be comfortable enough to experiment and know that they are bi... and women would accept them because they would see it as normal. We are all restrained people.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Trev_85' But women are judged harsher for expressing their sexual freedom. Men and women are the same some want sex some want love some want both some just as happy being single and celibate it depends on the person not the 'social conditioning' if that was true we would still be waiting to get married before having sex- Posted from rhpmobile True, but from my experience with women around my age is that they are not totally free to be themselves. So times are a changing but not as fast for women. No idea about the younger girls though.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    What an interesting topic. I was brought up in a family that were quite open about sex and that self pleasure is a normal and acceptable thing. I was still quite reserved regardless and even after being married for 6 years I still had walls up (not intentionally) even though I have a very open minded husband. Part of it is because of societies expectations and judgements part of it was my own hang ups. Any ways one day this year I opened up to my sexual self to accomodate my husbands wishes and whilst it has been fabulous I now have to juggle with my husbands insecurities and continue to conform to what was expected of me in the first place. Damned if u do, damned if u don't. Love, intimacy and sexual desires are seperate things but not many people can wrap their heads around that. More so it really isn't considered acceptable for a woman with children to be enjoying paul, joe and frank even if we do want to :)- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Lady_Tuscan'Have a lot to loose if they tap into their sexuality. They also have a lot to gain. The thing is that it comes without warning, before you know it you touch finger tips with some tradie in your house and what you thought you never had fires up. You pass a man in the street and he looks at you, I mean really looks at you and thousand butterflies unleash in your belly. Its primal instinct thats there in all of us, just takes the right second the right person the right time for it to ignite. Every woman is different. Some never find it, some lock it up in a box , some are afraid of what others may think of them. How sad for women that we are judged by having desire. very well said

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    yes I do think a lot of women are brought up and conditioned to believe being open with their sexual needs is wrong/dirty/ sluttish etcetc. Its not until they are older, wiser, experienced that they say, "who gives a shit!" and goes hunting with gusto!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100'What would happen if we were all brought up with the belief that sexuality and sex is not linked to a gender, that you can be attracted to men and women. What would happen... how many men would actually be comfortable enough to experiment and know that they are bi... and women would accept them because they would see it as normal. We are all restrained people. OMG I hadn't thought about it from that perspective ... maybe it is not such a good idea after all Excellent and valid point Meeka but personally I am not so sure cultural pressures are influencing sexual orientation to anywhere near the same degree as they do the expression of that sexuality ... that seems like more of an instinctive trait with the ratios of hetero | homo | bi relatively consistent throughout nature and other cultures ?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'ding26' yes I do think a lot of women are brought up and conditioned to believe being open with their sexual needs is wrong/dirty/ sluttish etcetc. Its not until they are older, wiser, experienced that they say, "who gives a shit!" and goes hunting with gusto! There is no need to go from one extreme to the other .. the framing of it as "hunting" only empowers those who would use terms like "slut" in an attempt to constrain your sexuality.... and who said anything about letting you hunt ? We are talking about letting you express your sexuality equally (so we can get more booty ) - give an inch and you want a mile.

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    11 years ago

    Women love doing sexual even 'slutty' things But they will never want to be labelled Or judged a slut. So, such behaviour is generally kept very private, where circumstances of trust and comfort shield her from such likelihood. Most men love a woman to be open and sexual..... when we are the beneficiaries. But if an openly sexual woman rejects a mans advancrs, (probably because he approached her in an anti social or disrespectful way)... he then labels her a slut or pricktease. Hardly fair is it......so in many ways, we have ourselves to blame for that social stigma and effect. DG- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I think there was a quote that's quite pertinent here from another thread. Any restraint on sexuality is simply "in your head." - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Younger once are often still in the same predicament then we older once. The father has mostly the problem with his daughter getting sexual with a man or men. Still some males cant talk freely about protection with their sons.Boys on the other hand are freer to go for it, still boys are studs and girls shouldn't sleep around.We have still strong religious believe in our private schools, so they teach " what the bible says'What I really want to know is the psyci around men"s thoughts?Is it because men feel less of a men when the "women" they chose has experience?Why do women go of sex in a relationship?Do we own the other after we married? Do men provide and women can say no to sex?Why is the married men in such a desperate state to get laid? Is it a epidemic of women in marriages to stop and turn the sex off?

  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Silentlust'not at all born out by modern sexual behaviour. Maybe that myth still has some power and warps some naive minds, but women are as promiscuous and sexual (even more so) as the men who fuck them. (are we talking promiscuity here? What does 'restrained female sexuality' actually mean? Get no pleasure, doesn't really like sex, doesn't have the ability to have mutiple sexual partners and feel fine about it?)It doesn't seem to line up with what we know, and hence 'expect', of women.In the past or for other current cultures this may have been/be a valid observation.     Valid points all raised about women and thier sexual freedom, NOW translate this for me......what of the MARRIED WOMAN? How do you men feel about a married woman engaging as promiscuously as alot of married men do unbeknowns to thier wives? Is she still entitled to have her share and epxress her sexuality freely or is she to be the dutiful faithful and well-behaved wife?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Got a text from my FWB this evening telling me thanks for the great sex, and how prim and proper I am! Does this sound confusing to anyone else?