RHP

RHP User

F56

Women taking control of Sex

June 28 2013

I'm a fairly assertive woman. (I've been called intimidating more than a few times...sad to say, but hey that's a filtering device on it's own) I know what i want from life, i pursue what i want. Like many others Sex was the exception, til recent years. Sure I was always happy to initiate sex and i've always been happy to guide a gentleman so that we both end up having a great experience, what i'm talking about is saying to a man...."Hey lets get into this Kinky thing...or that " I had always let the man i was with lead the way....if he showed no inclination for anything but Vanilla.....i wouldn't go there either. (admittedly i did find myself with some pretty open minded guys )   I made up my mind a couple of years ago that i wasn't going to take the risk of settling with someone who didn't share my views on sexuality so i'm now very open about it, in the real world men are suprised by my willingness to discuss sex, sexuality and my likes and dislikes.   My question is do you find it difficult to broach this subject with a casual partner in the real world? I'm not talking about husbands or long term relationships, and here in RHP land these conversations often happen before meeting so that isn't what i mean either.

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I don't understand why anyone does have issues talking about this stuff. And if they do, they are clearly not for me. And yes, I have sat across the table form men before where they have sat staring at me like Bambi in the headlights before. PMSL!!!

  • Lifes_great

    Lifes_great

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100'I don't understand why anyone does have issues talking about this stuff. And if they do, they are clearly not for me. And yes, I have sat across the table form men before where they have sat staring at me like Bambi in the headlights before. PMSL!!! Your headlights are awesome!   Seriously though, I find it easier since I split with my wife. I think we were so different it was unbelievable we got together in the first place.   I have female friends that I talk quite openly about things with....and likewise for them.

  • QLDtwo4fun

    QLDtwo4fun

    11 years ago

    Great sex is about communicating your needs and expectations, whether your a swinger or not. OK I understand non scene people may be a bit surprised by direct conversation, but you can get a feeling for their views indirectly before you completely open up to them. Who would want to be in a sexual relationship with someone who's views on sex are completely different to theirs.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Geez, any bloke on a bad day or moment can be Bambi in the headlights ! Another day and I'll be irrepressible... Even you will be powerless to resist :) The key is being comfortable with the other person...then yes, I'll talk about anything. But the thing is, one persons kink can be another's vanilla... A friends wife told me recently "hp, any woman who went weak at the knees over 50 shades is NOT the woman for you ! Hp xo

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    As I live two lives, then I keep my sexual self and my other self poles apart.   You start talking about sex to a man and is mind goes into your pants or runs away as fast as he can if he feels that your out there in your sexual desires.   Men like to talk about the sex, they are going to have or the sex they had. The talk up a storm about all the things they want to do to you, before the meeting.   And that guy who said can he bring his parrot, his mother in law and a bottle of fig jam, forget it..i am on a diet at the moment   anyway, where was I?   I pick who I talk to about sex. Apart from that I am very in tune to what drives a man. Being a counsellor and working with sex offenders you get a pretty good inside to desires, good and bad.   I can tell in a second a man that wants me to dominate him, and that's a lot of men. Sometimes I tell them what I plan for them, and that drives them nuts.   Most guys will be up for most things if you talk to them, but they are not mind readers so be as open and honest as you can. Tell a man before you get to deep in a relationship as its no good to fall in love with someone and say, shit forgot to tell you can you wear my clothes tonight when you fuck me?   Tonight I am having a cupcake party, one man five women. He has to do everything I tell him, and I plan to keep him on the edge allllll night. sometimes one has to be cruel to be kind.   Lady_Tuscan taking high tea with the girls to a whole new level.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I talk too much and am probably far to open! I've been told recently I care the young things!!! Lol- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I meant to say scare- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Scare the pants off em girl ! Hp xo

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I think that answers your topic title

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    But was once described as a sexual predator by a younger guy, bit harsh I thought but possibly accurate to some degree

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Even here in Rhp land if the man isnt dominate or sexually assertive himself I find it hard to tell him what kinks I want to explore. If he is dominant and experienced then all form of erotiscm flow much more easily.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Never die wondering!

  • foreign_lover

    foreign_lover

    11 years ago

    I wouldn't mind at all when a woman tells me what she would really like to try, why not? Just spill the beans and tell each other your kink!Sigh....

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    can you contact me please? i tried to send you a message but couldnt...thanks :0

  • inspirit

    inspirit

    11 years ago

    Always talk about it. If they look like a startled bambi ---- I do have fun with it hehehehehehehehemen are so gullible sometimes PMSL

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I wish more women would take control or at least get more involved. Why should it always be the man ? A woman's body is a beautiful thing to behold when she is sexually excited and she should be free to express herself. I don't think that because a woman openly talks about sexual matters makes her slutty or is demeaning.. She has wants and needs just like a man does.. Express yourselves in and out of the bedroom girls ... Go for it.. you mite just have the best fuck you will ever have !

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'paintme'I talk too much and am probably far to open! I've been told recently I care the young things!!! Lol Same here, it seems to be a trend. But if I am able to intimidate you, you are really not for me.

  • chevtrek

    chevtrek

    11 years ago

    Hel yeah Baby take it ,work it , im yours to play with..   Gee it is a relationship of 2 people   Steve

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I had my cupcake party last night   five women one man   he managed to do four, but lucky for him three were bi   he had ask me about this before, he said what he wanted and we talked about his limits and what he could do   all the way through we talked to him, made sure we were all on the same page.   sometimes fantasy and reality can clash so long as you keep talking , even while your in the mix of it its always best.   men may say, yes I want all those women but in reality you can only do so much   but this guy blew me away he managed to hold out all the evening, till he was allowed his pleasure   Men also need to say what they want but not in a childish I want to fuck you till your nose bleeds even girl on girl stuff, keep talking three women last night were bi, and they all managed to get into it because they communicated their needs.   the most powerful sexual word you can use is NO, that's not for me, I use it often   it empowers my desires, where I am focused on what I need. If I am happy then the man is happy.   It amazes me how for years I was the vanilla housewife, not enjoying sex at all while I was married   then divorced and still not even having sex as I could not even communicate my own desires to myself.   rhp and the forums, are great way to talk to men, about our desire if its hard in real life its always a good outlet on the forums   then some guys can see, your more woman than you think you are yourself.     I think this little rabbit went down the rabbit hole and beyond in my sexual communication, and its done me the world of good.   but I am very careful who I communicate to, only people of rhp as then I know I can trust them to get me.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    To be honest you scared me more than the young things. Maybe talking about swinging and sucking cock with 10 minutes of meeting someone may be okay ... I am not sure the elderly gentleman next to you didn't really things so. LMAO!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    As Harrisson said, why should it always be the man leading the dance?   I do articulate my limits and wants easily to a casual partner. No point going there otherwise, but perhaps that's a maturity thing? I know in my younger years I was Bambi.   And when it's physical assertiveness I find they moan in the sheer joy that we actually 'do' enjoy what we are doing. I presume they don't often get strong women who lead play and love to be led instead of leading for a change. I was with a lovely fellow RHP'er last night and did exactly that. I know he appreciated it a lot.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100'To be honest you scared me more than the young things. Maybe talking about swinging and sucking cock with 10 minutes of meeting someone may be okay ... I am not sure the elderly gentleman next to you didn't really things so. LMAO! You gals must have got his heart going very very very very fast   MEDIC!