M46
Won't Cum
January 12 2016
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
As long as the sexual lead up and interaction is good, how you orgasm is not that important. As long as you get off in the end. I dont mind a good romp finished off by a guy wanking over me? We are all wired differently and shouldn't feel inadequate.
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PatchworkGirl
9 years ago
It wouldn't bother me, but I think that it's really key that there is open communication in relationships, especially about things like this. If the woman is reassured that it's not a failing in her part, but simply the way you are wired, they are less likely to feel tense and stressed about it. If the focus is on pleasure and satisfaction, rather than simply ejaculation, there's less of a chance that either person are going to take the lack of orgasm personally. Of course, this is just my opinion - for some people, orgasms are essential, and it could cause problems. That's why finding someone compatible with you is important. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
In a long term relationship I think it would bother me, i'd feel like it was me so yeah I guess I take it personally. It has happened to me with casual encounters because of the loss of sensation when wearing a condom - I always feel bad about it but I also know what its like when its just not going to happen so don't push the issue. I guess I just want them to feel as good as i do.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Yeah, we were always open about that sort of thing. There were times where she was very close to getting me off, however she was more of a wham bam thank you man type of sexual being and so didn't really go the distance I suppose I needed to get off. I didn't mind how I got of tbh, but I know at times it frustrated her - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Is the official term. It's a known problem, but it might only be a problem for certain individuals/couples. My ex and I played bareback, but I was still doing well if I came inside her. I know now a certain position or two that is somewhat reliable using a condom, but it stands that I've only finished in a condom a handful of times, and only one person has made me come from oral. Regardless, I'm happy enough to finish by hand :) But I hear you on how it can affect sexual interaction. On quite a few occasions now, a woman has been urging to feel me come while inside her. But in the position/s we were in, there was little or no hope. I got the sense that it was somewhat disappointing for them, that I couldn't provide what they wanted. A sexologist (and of course google) informed me that various physical and psychological masturbation habits can develop a desensitivity to other touch/stimulation over the long term. It is possible to retrain yourself, but again from persistent changes of habit over the long term. Another option is getting yourself very close to orgasm by hand, and then finishing another way. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Studies suggest that couples where either partner consistently fail to achieve orgasm have problems later on. Have you considered using "hot lube" or toys? Do what you gotta do I say, it's satisfying for women to have their partner orgasm. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
That's actually how all our kids were conceived. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
and to be honest, I'm not sure. I certainly don't expect a man to be able to orgasm from intercourse all the time, or for it to even happen at all every time. However, I do love the feeling of a man cumming inside me so I wonder if it might start to get to me a bit if I couldn't have that at all. Of course that's assuming it's a monogamous relationship...if we were open I could always get that particular fix elsewhere
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PurePeony
9 years ago
... delayed ejaculation. On top of that, he had Erectile Dyfunction and was on Viagra. I loved him so much that I was willing to be with him regardless. He made me promise never to "fake it", so I didn't. But he wasn't very GIB and I wonder if the psychological impact of his sexual impotence might be the cause. He didn't like to communicate despite me being really patient and gentle and sensitive towards him. He shut himself up and started to withdraw and isolated himself from me. Instead of facing the issue, he ran away from it. I did find it hard to cope with the DE. The ED issue is easily solved with Viagra and whoa... it really gave him an erection that lasted overnight so I fell asleep happy, and woke up happy! Hehehe! The DE made me question myself - was I not good enough for him to make him cum? I now know that it wasn't my fault and there was nothing I could do, and he did try to stop masturbating during the week to hopefully restore a bit of penile sensitivity back, but he didn't seem to really want to try and wouldn't talk to me about it at all. Months after the breakup, I slowly learnt from friends that DE is a very common issue and one lady had an ex who would make her orgasm first and then he would masturbate himself till he cummed (what is the past tense of "cum"? LOL!!!) Another wise, mature friend told me that men suffer terribly emotionally and psychologically from these issues and it can stunt them from ever having emotionally intimate relationships with any woman. I think with issues like DE, you'll need to have an open communication channel with your significant other. That way, she won't feel like she's not sexy enough for you.
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RHP User
9 years ago
As someone who frequently struggles to climax, I am guilty of faking it a few times to save face for my partner.... I was unable to get a gentlemen off a while back and it made me feel awful!!!! I would have loved him to have pretended hahaa, I'd never experienced that before and I felt so crap afterwards... that was only one time, I couldnt see him again. I definitely agree with someone above, it is more about the journey for me as Im not someone who can always orgasm!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Much pleasure to be had along the way that orgasm is the icing on the cake but not always necessary to have an amazing sexual experience..if a lover has the expectation that you will come that in itself can be a barrier..it can certainly make me feel anxious .OP that is indeed very sad that your ex didn't understand that for you that is how it happens... XxFreya
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RHP User
9 years ago
You need to come and see me 😯 i'll sort you out
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Katkat
9 years ago
I think I would rather take a DE than someone cumming too quick at least I'm satisfied. But I won't stop till u are satisfied there are many ways to undo DE like different positions which is more arousal for you. However I did experience that few times with my ex when I was 18 gee we would go for 6 hrs I'm like damn are u cumming yet??? I'm soo dry & sore already & he hasn't cum yet. In the end I just let him do the work I was so bugged & finally he came but yes it took forever but was so exhausted mind you that was during summer too all sweaty everywhere. Damn i miss those days! 😁🔥💦 that's what I need these days. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'PurePeony' (what is the past tense of "cum"? LOL!!!) Came I'm sure we can all think of a time when, although your partner was doing everything right, you just could not orgasm because your mind was elsewhere. Or you just were not in the zone due to stress, tiredness, business or whatever. But I think people that struggle to orgasm with another person all the time have the idea implanted in their mind that they CAN'T orgasm, and it's a perpetual cycle. I too struggled initially in a new or group situation until I developed the confidence to let go. But I still have days when even when the sex is amazing, the orgasm just won't happen. And I'm ok with that, as I've learnt that trying to force it out sends it further away! I will communicate with my partner/s that I'm just not in the zone and focus my attention on them, and funnily enough once I have something to concentrate on sometimes I do cum! In relation to the OP, yes I have been with men that did not cum. I have no qualms and encourage them to finish the job themselves. But I must admit the guys that won't, and therefore end the session without cumming, leave me feeling unsatisfied and helpless. And I'm not likely to return.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I was interested to see what most women's responses would be to this subject. With my ex, she would get me close on quite a few occasions, but as I said she was a quickie type of person whereas I liked a marathon and so she just didn't have the stamina to get me there. Sometimes I was just never going to cum so I don't blame her. As I said previously, we were sexually incompatible and so the inevitable happened. Thanks again! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have encountered this with a lover. Especially early on in our tryst. I saw him for about 6 months and by the end he was able to cum much easier. For him it took him alot to relax enough to bring himself to orgasm, as he was a bit of a performer - in a good way. I knew about it before the encounters so I didn't take it personally. As with most things, especially in regards to intimacy - communication is key.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Who up for the challange as I will bet anything you can't as my exes couldn't either - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Yeah its not fun. Sometimes I think premature ejaculation is a myth coz it takes me fuckin ages and if im not getting enough stimulation (condoms or she isn't so great at oral/handjobs) I cant even be bothered coz it seems like they don't care enough to try and make it awesome. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
You're on 😉 I'll take up the challenge and I will make you cum 😛
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RHP User
9 years ago
Your age preference is 18-40 which is fine but a handy hint would be to take some older women out for a spin lol I for one am very 'into' what i'm doing and have been with guys who struggle, but have a 100% strike rate lol the squirting helps, I squirt while i'm working on them, but get really turned on by giving oral. That's the highlight for me, I lap up every second and worship I guess. When I masturbate, I think about those moments touching the bulge before releasing it, major turn on. It's hard to explain what that does to me, but guys get turned on seeing how turned on I am. It's not a means to an end for me, just find myself gaggin for it. And i could do it all day, meaning time to get there wouldn't be an issue 😛 and I've learnt to go past the gag reflex mmm not suggesting you should go way up in age but maybe keep your options open, you just never know
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MrMechanic
9 years ago
But never orgasm
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Dimeshreds
9 years ago
I have been in situations where I find it difficult to cum and it is generally because I am not feeling comfortable in the new situation and I may not be all that into the person I am with. If it is hot it is hot and you cum too quickly, if it is not then you either kick the girl out or leave, or fuck and hope for a quick result which doesn't happen. Either way you both feel embarrassed.
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RHP User
9 years ago
so upset! Id try everything but if all fails id feel pretty hurt that im not 'good enough' somehow. I hope this never happens! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
My ex fwb has been on medication for his heart and cant cum because of it. I love to please and for me a mouth full of cum is a reward. So i found it difficult to know he was satisfied. - Posted from rhpmobile
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chevtrek
9 years ago
There are many reasons a woman does not orgasmand to many to list.However I have met some that orgasm real easy ormulti orgasm , love those gals that are easy to please.On one survey it was suggested if women thought morelike a man they would orgasm more ??????There is also rumour on a pill to increase sexual drive in women but that was 5 years back and heard nothing since.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm a bloke and I struggling to cum any tips .way better when you cum
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