F49
Would you move on?
September 23 2012
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Heavenly, think about it, he was only interested in having you back when you starting going out with others, it seems alreight for him to go out with others but he wants you all to himself, he probably thinks you are naive and that you only have eyes for him, he is just trying to control you and is possessive as well, would you be happy living with this guy forever? YOu don't need someone to tell you to move on, you already know the answer, he is wasting your time and your life, there is so much better out there for you, someone who will love and respect you no play around on you and expect you to be at his beck and call.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Intuition is a strong thing. If you are having a strong feeling it isn't heading in the right direction as you seem to be saying then it probably isn't. You are probably a strong and sexy woman who is deserving of both love and lust or you wouldn't be here. If you have to make a hard decision make it early. I hope you find what you deserve..
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RHP User
12 years ago
Next !
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RHP User
12 years ago
OP as you say in your profile that you are married.I assume this man is single.This would perhaps explain why he is seeing other women, as your relationship with him is not your primary relationship.If he is cancelling dates with you then he has probably lost interest.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi! Heavenly75:) Thanks for your Topic Hun .. I'm so sorry you' have this issue.. Hun you're holding onto Hope and what you shared whilst he's holding onto a New Lover or more.. He's moved on but doesn't have the Emotional Maturity to talk with you about his decision and why.. I have a strong feeling Hun and what I'm picking up in your vibes that you subconsciously if not overtly were wanting more from him than he was able to give ie a Full on Relationship or he felt pressured for some other reason .. Just so you understand It's not you ..It's his need to be thought, seen as a Sexy Virile Male by someone New he wants that rush that comes with the freshness of a New Lover..It's still his Last Hoorah! before he gets to old as he sees it..I think your Relationship was becoming too serious for him to cope with.. Hun realize what you had with him has passed and move forward as hard as it maybe.. I have been there it hurt like Hell!! Take some time out ..step back so you can get over the hurt feelings .. Learn Positive Lessons from your experience .. Overcome grow..Then you'll attract Guys who will appreciate the Amazinfg Woman You are and enjoy appreciate You for being the Lovely Woman you are :)..That's what I advise you to do .Because I'd do it too.. Good Luck! Cheers Lu :).
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RHP User
12 years ago
Do it! Move on as it looks like he has..Life's to short to be filling your mind and life with, What if's..Sould I..Do I?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Reading your profile you're a married woman. You cannot commit fully to this man and yet you want his complete attention, loyalty and devotion. Maybe consider that this man has issues not being able to have you (completely), not that he has lost interest in you. Talk..communicate...find out what the issues are.Good luck and enjoy each other.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Your a grown woman, I think you know the answer. The guys a cad!Cheers Felonious
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RHP User
12 years ago
Move on Gal !...you 36 yo, at your prime, dont wasted your time on him.. lots of other men out there as talented as he does , time to look for the next one ,good luck ! x
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RHP User
12 years ago
You don't want this! You don't need this! You deserve someone who gives you the cake before the icing!
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RHP User
12 years ago
If you're afraid of moving on because you think you might not find someone just as good...don't be! More than enough fellows out there who can treat you twice as better than this possessive twit.
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RHP User
12 years ago
He is a selfish possessive man who wants to play with others but doesn't want you to play so he supposedly wants to go all exclusive, you have your choice of men out there that are willing to treat you with dignity and respect and wine and dine, just need to be more discerning, make your wish list and the right one will come along. I would not waste my time and energy on this selfish egotistical man, you have so much more going for you. You have choices, to wait in the wings on his very breath or go out and enjoy life, he doesn't care about your feelings, or you as he would not treat you like this, if he was a real man he would just call it a day if he has lost interest. BTW it is not you, it is him, obviously committment issues(of any sort), does not know how to treat people with dignity and respect even in a FWB situation, for me, I would have given him the kyber long ago, you know deep down this man is a jerk and a heartbreaker and the situation will lead you know where, you'll go know where just waiting for his every word, like an obedient puppy
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RHP User
12 years ago
wouldve moved on as soon as he said he 'loved me'..... its not what being a play mate is about... but then, if he loved you...he wouldnt be looking for other women, and would be hassling you to do things that werent just about sex...like the wining and dining etc.....no?
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xFunlovingx
12 years ago
I am not understanding what you want from him exactly? You are married why should he stick around and not see other women? I'm confused, you were not going to leave your husband and kids...so why should he be there for you? Sorry I won't tip toe around the subject like others...He has a right to see whoever he wants to see! Hugs...xFunlovingx
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RHP User
12 years ago
He is married too and told me he has been playing around for years. He has children too. He even once asked me if I'd marry him if we were both single! Also had said he wished we'd had kids together. I'm guessing he was drunk when he said that. He keeps giving mixed signals. I think it's pretty clear now tho, he doesn't want to stop screwing around :(
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RHP User
12 years ago
I hadn't read OP's profile. Thanks for reminding me I need to know more of the situation. And your honesty . . . . always have admired your no-bullshit approach Maybe he wants more and is looking for it elsewhere. Anyway, still sounds OVER to me.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sadly some people will say anything to get what they want, in this case you must have known it was just a fling? With you both being attached then it would seem to be for harmless fun, sadly it didn't turn out that way. If you are married then doesn't isn't it a contradiction? It is sounding a bit like you are not happy at home and kind of pinning your hopes on this man, who is clearly indicating he is just there to play around. Maybe sort out your family issues first before getting all caught up with this guy, unless you are in an open marriage and all is good in this area?
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RHP User
12 years ago
When someone says they love me I tend to believe them. Yeah stupid me for thinking he meant it. Stupid me for believing him when he said we had an exclusive relationship. He said we were more than fuck buddies so how should I have known it was a fling? I was told all sorts of things by this man and he said them in a way that was totally believable. So thanks for the comments, guess I won't be so trusting of ANYONE anytime soon :(
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RHP User
12 years ago
This is a sex site, most people are in it for the no strings attached situation, as you are both attached it is usually just for fun, were you prepared to leave your marriage for this man? The positive thing is at least you have found out his true colours before doing something drastic, was he your knight in shining armour? Was he going to take you away from your marriage and live happily ever after? Would you leave the husband and kids?(rather take the kids with you), I guess if he is prepared to leave his wife and kids and you are prepared to do the same then it is love, but realistically he has said he loves you but is playing around, you do the math honey, just pointing out the blatantly obvious, it is sad, it is upsetting but be realistic about your situation, then you can move on.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I thought you wanted an honest answer, I can only give honest opinions, who knows, I maybe wrong, and Mr Right will sweep you off your feet.
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Mr_MrsAraps
12 years ago
Heavenly,It makes me really annoyed that actions like this turn guys/girls into bitter, twisted and generally dis-trusting people. All I can say is chalk up this one to experience but hope you don't give up as not all guys out there are tools (okay maybe a fair few). Hope you find the right person.Cheers,W.
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Cheekyarses
12 years ago
YES...... He wants his cake n to eat it too!! You deserve better!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Nice knee jerk reaction dear and thank you for bundling all of us blokes in the same bucket.Real nice of you.. Maybe you'd like some lemon and lime with that? Quoting 'Heavenly75' ... guess I won't be so trusting of ANYONE anytime soon :(
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RHP User
12 years ago
LRE I'll be less trusting I should have said. Can't blame me for being pissed off with men after the way I've been treated. I've now learnt from my naivety and will no longer be emailing any naughty pics to anyone. As most seem to be picture collectors with no intention of meeting up. I'm also not doing the dirty text thing anymore as that seems to go nowhere as well. I know there are some nice guys out there. Just hope I don't have to go through any more frogs or donkeys to get to the nice ones.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hey babe, I know that feeling... if you are not his priority and he does not appreciate you then you should open yourself up to someone who truly deserves you, who thinks that you are amazing and you shouldn't expect to feel anything less!! I want a guy who sets aside time for me and can't wait to see me, someone who can tell me I'm beautiful first thing in the morning! Recently I found that, but oops, I fucked it up LOL (typical self sabotage!)... and now he simply doesn't care and I've had to accept that and move on. Sometimes I think I wish he could how many guys are jumping at the chance to spend time with me, the last week I even had a few marriage offers LOL! But I think if he doesn't see the amazing person that I am then he doesn't deserve me, and I am better to spend time with people who appreciate me for everything that I am and have to offer. I feel much better to spend time with someone who considers themselves lucky then someone that I am just an 'option' for. ACTIONS speak louder than words. Someone can say they love you, but if they don't make you feel that then it's time to find someone who does!! I'm sure there are plenty of other guys out there who will appreciate you, BUT you have to make sure you are open to the possibility and if you don't let go of him then you won't be open to it. What I've found is that as soon as you find someone else who does appreciate you, you forget about him and you don't care anymore.... and that's usually when they come running back realising what they missed out on... but then it's TOO LATE for them! U snooze u lose buddy! If a guy can't see how good he has got it, then he doesn't deserve you. I want a man who would make plans with me a priority...not make me work around his plans...u have to ask yourself... would he do that for you?
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ruby_blossum
12 years ago
Heavenly75,I am having a little bit of a problem following this thread..I gather you are upset because a married man has asked you > an un happily married woman to be exclusive with him.You are not happy because he is still seeing other women as well as you and his wife..You are happy to stay in an unhappy marriage and are looking for a man to wine you and dine you as well as the sucking and the fucking and you want him to want you only, while you stay in your unhappy marriage and you expect him to be there just for you, no other women, as you wallow in your marriage?.Whats in it for the man?
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am confused,you are posting as if you are a single woman,you haven't said that you are in an open marriage.It is interesting that when a married guy posts anything on here re looking for women that he is metaphorically hung drawn and quatered. I personally don't have a problem with attached people doing whatever it is that they want to do,I just have a problem with a double standard.
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RHP User
12 years ago
But I have to chime in on this one. It's been my experience that most blokes only want to use a woman as a specimen cup (y'kno, deposit their sperm) and don't give a tinkers about her or even what she may want from even the sexual experience.Bitter and twisted? You bet your bippy, and you can thank all the fine upstanding men I've met here and on other sites. Do please feel free to prove me wrong.Viking
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RHP User
12 years ago
Not all men should be put in the Cad category nor should all women be viewed as pure angels. Unfortunately there seems to be a double standard here, it is understandably upsetting that this man is cheating on you yet aren't you doing the same to your husband? It is ok for you to play around behind his back(unless it is an open marriage) but not ok for this man to do the FWB bit when this site is obviously a sex site. If you want true love then perhaps one of the other sites, but there in lies the problem as you are already married and would a guy be looking for a woman (to love) in an attached/married situation. Surely you can see the dilemma here. On one hand you are criticising this man, yet aren't you guilty of same? (with your own husband to say the least) Somewhat of a contradiction in this whole situation, not that I am siding with the man but this whole situation seems a bit unbalanced.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Obviously you are busy bagging me but forgot to read my earlier post saying that he is married too. Both of us are married and was looking for a relationship with each other outside of our respective marriages. Before we even met for the first time he wanted ME to say I LOVE YOU to HIM. I did not meet him on this site. We had been emailing, talking and texting for 7 months prior to meeting. Please read all my previous posts to read what I have said he said to me. He said he loved me first. Not the other way round. Think whatever you want. I am sure some of your relationships have been far from perfect so don't stone me to death just yet ok? For those who are soo desperate to know the truth, message me your mobile number or email address and I'll forward on some of his texts to you ok. Messages where he asked me to marry him. How me having his last name sounded good. How he was asking me how my children and family would react to him. I could go on all night with things he has said to me but you think I'M THE ONE EXPECTING TOO MUCH!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
If you don't feel right with the way that you are being treated, there would be plenty out there that would treat you the way you want to be treated. Sounds like you are resentful and bitter from this experience. Bitterness only hurts one person and its not the person that the bitterness is directed to.Every person is different. There are dickheads (both men and women) everywhere. Painting all men with the same brush from past experience does not open you up to the possibility of meeting someone that would wine, dine, suck and fuck you.
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RHP User
12 years ago
If you even need to ask, you already know the answer. Move on.He doesn't want to be exclusive, he wants YOU to be exclusive while he keeps fucking other people.He'll say whatever he thinks you want to hear to keep you hanging around.
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ruby_blossum
12 years ago
Heavenly,you have asked what people think and they are telling you what they think based on the little pieces of information you have provided, tit bit at a time.Only if someone read your profile would they know you are unhappily married , you seemed to have forgotten to mention that in your original post.There has been some great feed back here, the lates being from The_Stranger76.The more you protest your innocence, the more you sound like a prat.It is time to move on.
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RHP User
12 years ago
It just annoys me when people comment after not reading my previous posts. I do appreciate the positive feedback. Thanks for putting a smile on my face. As I'm moving house soon I'm unable to meet up with anyone but really looking forward to meeting up with new friends once settled :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
I treat each person I meet with an open mind. I trust people until they prove me wrong. I even trust them a little after that most times.I've had women treat me like gold for moths, then suddenly tell me that I was just some random they met and I should not read anything into them wanting to fuck me. I've put up with the highs and lows of woman’s emotions. But it has not made me treat each new friend one iota differently to any of the last. You'd think I'd be a bitter, crumpled wreck by now. The sort of bloke who just want's to deposit his load and fuck off. But no, you'll still catch quietly supping a beer at the end of the bar, waiting for life’s next adventure.Dump the baggage I say and by that I mean the "poor me" attitude.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Not bagging you, you asked our opinion, going on the snippets you gave us as you went along one can only give comment based on that and quite frankly it looked like he was not that into you even though he declared his love etc etc and you bit back at us, perhaps it is he you should be biting at and not us. You didn't like what you heard, no one does, but again you asked us, just giving an objective view, in future don't bother asking if you are going to bite people's heads off or be defensive. The answers we gave were honest from our perspective, you don't have to take it on if you don't want but again You Asked Us for OUr Opinion.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Don't know your situation for you to cheat, but you're worried about HIM playin you??(which he is like a finely tuned guitar...I'm talking "stairway to heaven" solo) Kick his arse to the curb and don't judge the rest of us lads because of this moron or your husband...can't say I'd trust you either going on form but it's not going to stop me from trusting women.(and I have been cheated on) Good luck with the family though, hope everything works out for you.
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RHP User
12 years ago
You did bag me out dragonfyre. You went on about how I'm cheating on my husband and expecting the playmate to be faithful! You never said one word about how he is married and cheating on his wife. So it seems YOU have double standards not me. You are saying its ok for him to cheat but not me? Many spouses seek a secondary relationship to their marriage. For some it works and can lead to years of happiness. Obviously it hasn't worked with my playmate and I. Thanks to the POSITIVE pelople on here, I feel better and now moving on. I'm looking forward to meeting someone who is honest, caring, and actually wants me for me. He is here, just haven't met him yet, but will next month ;)
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RHP User
12 years ago
If you don't like it, tell him. If he doesn't change it, walk. It's not complicated and women suffer from the terrible habit of kidding themselves that things are not what ALL THE EVIDENCE is telling them they are. Yes, you might be lost, lonely, hurting without him, for a bit. It will pass, life will go on. If you don't kick the toxicity out of your life how can you make room for good, clean fun/love or whatever it is your looking for?! I haven't found very many men who are truly decent, wouldn't cheat, will treat me with honesty and respect and are interested in all of me, not just getting into my pants, but I have found some. Intelligent, funny, kind, tolerant, confident men who like me enough to get to know me. I make room for men like this in my life - as friends or more, whatever suits us. I don't make any room for tossers/losers/users/wankers etc. Maybe it's time to raise the bar of what you're willing to accept from a man ...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Your original post is misleading and I'm still a little confused. Why are you married? Are you honest to your husband about all of this?... If not good luck finding that honest caring man outside your marriage.... Sounds WAY too complicated and tiring to be in this situation - I'd consider running away to another country if I were you..... @LittleRedEngine: you're just a brave little train! ... "I think I can" ... Me too :) xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Leave the prices on the floor... Walk over them and move on! NEXT!
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm in agreeance with xfunlovingx, however, that is based upon an assumption that your marriage is a committed and manogomous. However, the flip side to all of this is, and I know friends offline that are married but also have a lover, so the marriage that you're in is in essence a non-issue. The fact is, you need only accept behaviour from ANY person, be it friendship or more, that YOU are willing to accept. If his behaviours(actions not verbalised) are that of the nature with which you are happy to accept, then cut free and move on. If its meant to be then it will be. The anger toward him though I'd like to address. Bitterness/anger is a poison that will never harm the person it's intended if you hold on to it. It will only hurt you in the long run.
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RHP User
12 years ago
That sounds like a very immature and insecure person, regardless of his age. Should you move on, its a no brainer :) So much hot fish in the sea. Delete and block and move on :) x
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RHP User
12 years ago
read above
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RHP User
12 years ago
Frig if I had a dollar for everytime I heard anyone say I wouldnt trust anyone again I would be a rich man. Two married people having an affair and you expect monogamy and commitment - dreaming :) stop being a victim and do something about it - drop him, get divorced and find someone else, or accept the relationship for what it is - an escape :) Chose a path and get moving.. Hope I havent come across too harsh but being a victim helps noone - especially yourself. D
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RHP User
12 years ago
Please read my previous replies. I am moving on. I don't need to get a life, I have a life and it is getting better! Should you all continue with negative comments its only bringing me down. I am having a good day, so stop raining down on me! I am moving house away from previous playmates so other than moving on emotionally I'm moving on physically.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I didn't read all the posts ...What goes around comes around ...If you treat people with respect, then you will be treated with respect ...The catch is that you must believe you deserve the respect ...So my question to you is ...If you are cheating on your husband then are you treating others with respect?Do you respect yourself for this behaviour?Presumably due to society's conditioning. deep down you don't respect yourself ...So how do you expect anyone else to pick up the vibe that you deserve respect?What's more ... you are teaching your children that life is to compromise their happiness by staying in an unhappy relationship ???There is no judgement here ... just questions to ask yourself ...Mr 50 is irrelevant ... because your experience of life will only repeat itself until these things are addressed ... he is merely the catalyst to draw your attention to what is hurting in you ...Best Wishesx x x
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RHP User
12 years ago
dont worry about what crankey people have to say..if they are crankey let them be that way and dont let it bother you.....its hard to move on from the one you think you want to be with...its a world of choice out there...i should be crankey after what happened to me ....but you know what ..im not a victim nor am i willing to play the part,this life is all about experience...whether it be good or bad its all part of the learning curve
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi! Hun :) The main Focus on this has been Him saying he loved you..but the Problem is you needed his attentioons tho; he's Married so are you .. You believed everything he said tho he was with other Women ..He knew your weakness and was relying on it to get him what he wanted...Your Weakness Hun is you don't love yourself enough ..You needed him to say he loves you and all those other Plans so you could feel valued.. You need to focus on loving youself, then this will never be a Problem because you will aim Higher you are aware How Unique and amazing you are and you'll attract Guys who treat you as a someone Special because you are ..Good Luck Lu :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thanks guys and gals you've brightened my morning. I haven't heard from "Mr 50" in over 5 days and you know what? It doesn't hurt, almost couldn't care. He obviously doesn't care about me anymore and just wants to get his jollies off with any woman who'll open her legs. Well that's not going to be me anymore!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Notice it's always the chicks on here that let their emotions consume their feelings and thoughts! As soon as the average jo blow mentions the word love you turn into a crazy chick that makes you look and feel foolish !! The guy you discribe sounds like the exact thing you get from this site, they are all full of it !!! No real lovers here , just remember if you have morals stand up for yourself dont be so submissive to what makes you feel like shit!! If you went to your kitchen and the rubbish stinks! You'd throw it out into the rubbish bin wouldnt you ? But i think you need some serious cleaning up in your life ... If Quoting 'Freya13' OP as you say in your profile that you are married.I assume this man is single.This would perhaps explain why he is seeing other women, as your relationship with him is not your primary relationship.If he is cancelling dates with you then he has probably lost interest.
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