M52
Would you rather know?
March 11 2016
Comments
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singlelady51
9 years ago
I would rather receive a message telling me it's just good manners. - Posted from rhpmobile
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D_Light
9 years ago
Weird question really. If ,using your scenario, you have met surely you would know at the meet how you feel & if in doubt be honest there & then. If still undecided & seek further time to access, be upfront about that too. Explain your reasons too for it can help them understand & move on or improve oneself next time. it also could be all you & your reasoning for whatever that may be.... By doing the silent treatment you deny the other closure & IMO are Disrespectful Texting is shallow too, I have had it done to me & i find myself bewildered by it each time. If your any sort of Human Being then a quick phone call to explain or another meet even is how you should be doing it Respect one another & treat others how you want to be treated the world would be so much more happier
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RHP User
9 years ago
A polite text , most definitely. After a meet, if Im interested I leave it up to the guy. If I dont hear anything back obviously there was no interest on his part. But a text would be appreciated Getting in touch a few weeks later is not going to cut it, by the way!
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RHP User
9 years ago
It's the polite thing to do, and I won't be thinking about whether I will be hearing from them again. Koko - I agree, and in some ways if it's been a few weeks with no contact and all of a sudden I get a message, might make me think I'm the back up plan.
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RHP User
9 years ago
surely you've got half an idea by the end of the date, whether or not you'd like to see them again, and just tell them face to face?? Or would that be too personal ?? - Posted from rhpmobile
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PatchworkGirl
9 years ago
A polite text would be far more preferable to silence. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Probably know then and there but a text or message is a good confirmation ..My favourite text was from a man I met for coffee who talked non stop for over an hour,when I tried to get a word in he told me to be quiet..He sent a text saying that although he wasn't attracted to me we could be convo friends...I declined his kind offer by replying...What convo?xxFreya
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RHP User
9 years ago
just tell her you're coming over to see I_touch and won't have time, that you're busy packing, those jeans of course problem sorted
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RHP User
9 years ago
don't worry about packing any shirts
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RHP User
9 years ago
I would prefer a message/text myself, rather than silence. I have let people know face to face or via a text if there was no definite connection after the first meeting. But having given some guys second chances, I have found my first instinct to be always right 😚 - Posted from rhpmobile
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horneycouplewa
9 years ago
A message of some sorts would be appreciated, that goes for couples who meet too.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I haven't had it happen much at all, don't date as such or do the pre-meet kind of thing, but I always make it clear either party can walk away, no questions asked. Having said that, I did go for drinks once, but that ended with sex on the beach I always end up back at the beach somehow, it's like a magnet on the receiving end, I couldn't care less, it's like on here, a no reply is a no, same off here as far as I'm concerned. It can be awkward and I have to admit, I'm the worst one for going silent, I'm really bad. Contacts on here who have experienced my silence (ones I've been communicating with), are different, quite often because I don't trust them, think they're just after more and more pictures or trying to rush me off the website, silence doesn't always mean I'm not interested, just not impressed with their approach and can't be bothered explaining. But the ones I've been texting or spoken with on the phone, I've been known to go silent on them and still carry on chatting with them on the forum lol How bad is that? I'm such a big chicken true forum professionals haha a kind of show of respect, we both respected each other, he was amazing, obviously understood, but it must have been hard for him. I just couldn't bring myself to say it directly. Girls who count toothbrushes in the pics are probably flat out going through the archives now to see who it is lol don't bother, it's never the ones you expect What really pissed me off once though was when I met a guy during the day, met for a coffee near the beach, talked for a while, then got busy in the car lol hot day, steamed up the windows, he did a bit of the tease and had obviously had experience, had talents had the potential to take my breath away with an indoor session and he talked about that, said he wanted to do that with me. I sent him a text later saying how turned on I was and thanked him, no reply, heard nothing from him until one day I was at the beach at scarbs, actually talking to a friend from Sydney, and this message comes in from the other guy, saying he'd been thinking about me? Then again, he'd had about a month to think about me More likely he was sitting up on the grassed area, saw me, was horny, and expected me to come hither I was so horny I could have fucked a football team that day, but I never replied his loss I thought, but was it? My loss more like, but I'd lost respect for him, I haven't ever spoken to him again. If you've met them out somewhere though, you usually do both know before you walk away, but even then how do you tell someone to their face, it's never easy
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RHP User
9 years ago
Hi all Curious to know if the same etiquette rule applies to ladies,couples and men when initial contact is made? A simple sorry not interested/ currently seeing someone but would love to stay in contact would be appreciated. I from previous experiences have been left hanging without a sound response and yet for weeks after I see the same people viewing my profile over and over daily( most Will occasionally even send a flirt. Can this be misconstrued as either just plain rudeness - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I think the style of message (or other exit strategy) would depend a lot on the person. I assume this is real scenario? Then what sort of person is she? Is she straight up, tell it like it is - or more a vague details type? Depending on the person involved, the message then could vary a little. A message that says - "Last night was awesome - when are we catching up again?" Might need a different response to - "Thanks for the night - it was nice to meet you."
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RHP User
9 years ago
As individuals we are all very different. Some may feel comfortable at the end of the meet telling the other party it was nice to meet them but it's not what they are looking for. And there are two people in each situation. If you would like to meet again but weren't 100% sure on the other party's feelings or if you have self confidence issues - you might be worried you misread their signs. As a woman with little experience - it's hard to know unless someone says directly "I would like to see you again." I'm all for women taking control and putting it out there "hey I really liked you, would love to catch up again" and throw the ball in their court. For some who are fearful of rejection or more traditional, they might just wait until the other party makes contact. I agree with treating people with respect, but I also think that hitting someone up on the spot for an answer can be inappropriate depending on the situation, and that a message - if polite is still an acceptable way to break contact if that's your choice.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Many women will not tell it as it is face to face because of personal safety fears, ie guys who can't handle rejection. So the honest answer comes by text from a safe distance.
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RHP User
9 years ago
From previous experience, these people have no intentions of meeting. Either because they are married, attached or just much more shy in real life than they are behind the keyboard. It happens to most of us, you will get used to it, but in the meantime, you will meet genuine people xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
If they've sent a flirt, that would mean they want to talk to you again, perhaps they ran out of reply messages, changed their mind or forgot to say something. But it doesn't make sense to stop contact, then flirt, unless the flirt comes a bit further along. Your face isn't showing so you might jump out at them again without realizing they've been in contact before, they then flirt etc. without more specifics from you, hard to say really. But whatever the history is, if you're not sure, just ask them
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RHP User
9 years ago
text message or email whathever - simple and easy to do I reckon...if someone is not brave enough to tell me "sorry hun you are not my type etc.."then he is not nan enough for me...
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
To get some acknowledgement. Nice to meet you, nice to have fucked you blah blah. Its human isnt it? Maybe that doesnt apply to some guys on here?
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Service_man
9 years ago
If after the first meet she is not into me, I would rather have a sms or phone saying that she is not into me or just not interested.If after a few dates she goes silent I fret thinking the worst that she has been in an accident or sick. I try to contact twice. If no response I have to assume she has changed her mind and work with other options available -otherwise I think I am stalking her. A few times I have been left high and dry for no reason --it would be nice to have an explanation. I am old enough not to throw dummy in the dirt or get frustrated or abusive.
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
If you have a partner.... a relationship.... what do you have if you do not have trust. If thats what it takes to hold and maintain trust.... access granted. DG
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' If you have a partner.... a relationship.... what do you have if you do not have trust. If thats what it takes to hold and maintain trust.... access granted. DG Pretty sure this hasn't ended up in the right topic, DG ;)
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RHP User
9 years ago
Thanks for the observations, folks - they're mostly in line with what I expected. As an extension ... I'm interested to know if you've ever slept with someone, and then had to turn around and say ... yeah, let's not do that again ?? :) (in the nicest possible way, I'm sure)
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RHP User
9 years ago
You might have posted in the wrong topic? rookie mistake lol
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RHP User
9 years ago
In the context of RHP, I get its a little different to having Facebook etc. But I see asking for access to someone's individual account a question of trust. I would want to know what it is that's worrying my partner. I know women (not saying men don't do it too) that ask to have a look at their partners phone or have a sneaky look. It doesn't sit well with me. 10 years ago I was like this but not now. If my partner knows me well enough, I would hope that they would trust me enough to share information with them freely, if that's what they want. Talking about it is fine and asking questions, but asking to have access to my account would be an alert that they don't trust me. Why do they think I'm being dishonest? And at what point does questioning your partners honour give you peace? I find in these situations - where there is mistrust, handing over the evidence to prove otherwise just creates more issues - whether it's your partner then needing to find something else to justify their feelings or resentment on your part for being questioned all the time.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I just saw DG's post and responded - been awake since 4:30 yesterday - it's starting to show haha
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RHP User
9 years ago
Happens to the best of us, I couldn't sleep last night, think I was probably just nodding off when you were getting up. Think I know what would make me sleep soundly lol
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RHP User
9 years ago
*hands the peroxide*. Big night eh??? Did you wake with a start too?? Lol :p
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RHP User
9 years ago
worse, I've stopped it part way through and sent them packing lol
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RHP User
9 years ago
There was one guy I regretted not showing interest after the event, he was so nice and I enjoyed his company so much, the sex would have got better, but my hesitation was all it took to hurt him. I saw the look in his eyes and that wasn't nice. I wish he had of called me because sometimes you need time to process things, wasn't to be, he respectfully withdrew or didn't contact me having felt the 'vibe', but like I say, I regret that. On the receiving end, I've had lots of guys 'cum' and go lol never to hear from them again, the life of a cougar, some come back, some don't pfft whatever. Lot of them are probably ticking the cougar box just to take it out for a spin. I don't mind them taking me out a spin if they're good enough, always prefer repeats if possible though, much easier than finding new guys but there has never been an 'announcement' from me or them to say 'I don't want to see you anymore'. It's only sex, who cares, not like it's a relationship, my 2 cents
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Lets just say...... the Rhp mobile app occasionally has gremlins.
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sweetgem
9 years ago
Appreciate a simple text to say that it didn't work for him, as I would do the same if I was not interested after the first meet. However, I won't sweat it if he doesn't because, things do happen and circumstances do change unexpectedly at times. I have been guilty of the silence not long ago when my parent had an accident in early January, was in hospital for a while and I got tied down to fulfilling my duty of care 24/7, where I could only be found between hospital and home. As a result of that, there was nothing much going on in my mind at the time due to the tiredness, let alone RHP! Hence, I have unintentionally forgotten about someone whom I met at the end of last Decemeber, and whom I was meant to get in touch again after the meeting, until 1.5 months later then I remembered, but then it was too late to send the guy a text to apologise as it would seem BS. So, I left it as it is as I still have very limited free time to spare due to my home situation. Therefore, I can understand if people forget to let me know as long as they don't disappear and then reappear with some obvious BS excuses 😛 - Posted from rhpmobile
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sweetgem
9 years ago
To your extended question bare037.......yep, I have had those moments quite a bit in my early RHP days, when some of the men I met were either: - a cheap skate and didn't share the hotel room rental with me, but expected to meet again; - could not live up to what they said they could perform in bed; and - complained about renting a hotel room and how it was costly, etc. with me giving them my share (half the total cost) of the rental! Unbelieveable! So nope, stingy doesn't impress me at all! 😋 So, when they contacted me for another play date, I politely said no and moved on 😛 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
If I can tell he might not be interested id take the hint but if I was to contact him after id prefer him to let me know not interested - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'bare037' Thanks for the observations, folks - they're mostly in line with what I expected. As an extension ... I'm interested to know if you've ever slept with someone, and then had to turn around and say ... yeah, let's not do that again ?? :) (in the nicest possible way, I'm sure) this happens quite a bit.There's only a select few I've met that I'd like to meet more than once and in some cases it's to do with their personality but in most cases it's to do with the quality of sex.
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Missb4u
9 years ago
If I met him purely for coffee and he wasn't interested a text to say so is fine. No harm done. if we had meet and played and ten he changed his mind... Hmmm I don't know that's a hard one. I guess I would prefer to know rather than just silence. Silence can make me completely over think and over analyze every little thing so for me I think the text would be the best of two evils. But I don't need a whole critique of the session or anything like that.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I get confused on what to do .. if he directly asks to see me again and i dont want to i will send back saying so.. but if he doesnt ask to see me again it seems presumptuous to just send a message saying sorry i don't want to see you again when he never actually stated that he wanted to see me again. There is one guy at the moment i'm having this very issue with he hasn't asked to see me again but still chats to me a lot- i am not interested in going further but saying that to him doesnt seem right when he hasn't asked to see me so i'm really not sure what to do... I personally would'nt want to be told in person , i'd prefer the after text if i ask to see you again
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RHP User
9 years ago
"' if you've ever slept with someone, and then had to turn around and say ... yeah, let's not do that again??' Well yes, of course. Why would I ever have a ONS, unless it was because I didn't want an OngoingNightsofSex
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RHP User
9 years ago
and just come out with it. If the shoe was on the other foot most blokes would get the shits. Polite text or phone call for me either way.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Oh that's a tricky one.....if you enjoy the chatting it feels wrong to say - hey just in case you're thinking that might happen again 😕 You could always drop a little "it's great we've become mates from this" I have no idea. Need veteran advice!
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abcplus1
9 years ago
Is not a 2 way street on rhp, at least not for us The sheer number of messages that get no response at all is staggering. But we will admit that we don't alwats send a no thanks message to people we meet and don't click with. Sometimes the date is enough for everyone to work that out.......
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RHP User
9 years ago
(groan) I'd wait until he makes a further move, Poison. If he never does you can just keep chatting and he'll get the idea. If he does, you can just gently say, oh thanks I like chatting with you, but I don't really want to take it further.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Even if it makes me feel terrible. I met one guy that I thought I had a great connection with and after one text to say 'well, that was great fun etc.' he just cut me dead and I didn't understand what I'd done. Much better to receive some feedback, so you can improve future performance at the next 'interview'.
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