F38
Would you talk about your darkest fantasies?
October 05 2012
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yes I agree we rarely open up with our deepest help and darkest fantasies. I think if anyone could peek into my thoughts on occasion they would not think I am a pervert, they would KNOW. Some fantasies will only ever be that, something our mind hangs onto to amuse us when we are alone, others are ones you could roleplay or make real. Divulging either is s very very personal thing. I haven't had a lover propose anything I wouldn't try yet and some of those fantasies are quite unusual, but for me it is something shared in whispers or during play and the butterflies are always there when you do.
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RHP User
12 years ago
There's not much a lover could say to me that would make me think he's a pervert - anything involving children, animals, non-consensual violence would be about it. There's a difference between having thoughts and wanting to act on them. There'd be plenty of things in the range of mild to full-on kink that I wouldn't be interested in, but they wouldn't make him a pervert. It would just mean that maybe we weren't suited after all. Mind you, the more connected and commitmed the relationship, the more likely I am to explore new things with a man, so I would hope my partner would take a chance and say something.
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MissSarahCurious
12 years ago
Pretty much anything that pops into my head comes out my mouth.Luckily I've made friends in a local fetish community and they're some seriously (consensually) sick fucks. I'm quite tame in comparison. It's a lovely lovely feeling to be able to be open and honest about anything your darkest places can come up with and not only be accepted (my kink may not be their kink but that's ok) but actually have a discussion about whether it's possible to mitigate the risks enough to make it happen and which tools and skills would be required :)xx Sarah
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RHP User
12 years ago
The male and female portions of my brain have colluded on this one....You - have a natural curiosity about you - :)Your Guy - has a difficulty with open communications and their fruits - maybe over time he will open up :)Why not kill two birds with one stone - take your guy down a journey...a series of fantasies that you imagine him having, each one more debauch and kinky than the last....and explore your curiosity at the same time ;)If you are the really impatient kind of girl - start with a strap-on up his arse...i reckon that will get him talking :)Good luck with it all :)2B :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thanks for your answers so far :)I am really talking about those Fantasies that you'd never even want to be real; not even remotely. I have mine during DIY and only then, to make up for the lack of real sexual tension... fantasies suitable for daylight just don't always cut it. Maybe not everyone has dark thoughts that should never become reality?@justforfunisall, that's pretty much exactly how my partner reacted and recently he even gave me a hint that made me understand why it goes into the "pervert" direction. I'm not going to ask him for details, everyone is entitled to having their own very private mental cinema and I'm not troubled by it either; it's just thoughts and to me they're truly free.Just interesting to know if everybody has these :) And let's assume really everybody does; what does it say about us? Does it say anything at all? Sometimes all those social conventions feel like a really thin and brittle layer...
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RHP User
12 years ago
I would love to know what are common male fantasies are. I have read a few books and understand that fantasy about rape is very common, and fantasies involving animals and incest are more common than I'd have thought....but I've no idea what the male equivalents are. What is the boo about leloo?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Probably the main reason we don't talk about the really dark stuff is because of fear that people will confuse what gets us going in our heads with what we want irl... And judge us in consequence.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have grown to trust one of my lovers to the extent that I know I can tell him my darkest fantasies and know I wont be judged by him for them. Once I began to open up to him regarding these fantasies he confessed to me in sharing some (well most actually) with me. We are safe in the knowledge that these discussions and expressions of desire/fanatasies are safe with each other and that we dont judge each other for them. We do however encourage each other to discuss them, extrapoliate on them and have even acted upon a few of them. The crux of it for most people si that feeling of being judged for their fantasies / desires. We dont want to be seen in anyway as being considered 'sick' or 'crazy' for fantasising about things that most would consider to be outside the 'normal' or different from what the majority of people fantasise about. It is only through the building of trust have i been able to share some of my darker fantasies with some people in my life. Kisses Focus
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RHP User
12 years ago
Which are, some things are just best left alone for ones own "cinema" as it has been mentioned. Our spouses or partners for that matter don't NEED to know everything do they? Otherwise there'd be no mystery that draws us together constantly.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Bathsheba, yup that's the direction in which my and my partners darkest fantasies go, too. The book is "He Comes Next: The Thinking Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man" from Ian Kerner (there's one for men, too); very interesting so far.I think it's great if you can share this kind of fantasy with each other but on the other hand I don't think there's a need to share everything and I'm not sure if I'd want to talk about every detail. I'm quite happy for us to keep our secrets... @Focus, may I ask how the things that you acted upon stood up to reality? I'm just generally curious, not so much interested in finding out what exactly my partner's darkest fantasies are, but more what people in general have in their minds... and how dark it can be... and how common those things are. And then I don't really get why this stuff turns us on? I mean, for me there's a lot of energy and tension to it but I don't quite get why that can be turned into something pleasurable... If there are people who don't have these fantasies it'd be no wonder they're judging those who have them...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'hardtruckin2011'Our spouses or partners for that matter don't NEED to know everything do they? Otherwise there'd be no mystery that draws us together constantly. How can you be happy with someone if you are keeping a secret from them. If ever I find a long term partner they will know every little kink that turns me on. To have that trust in some one to explore and share the same values would be amazing.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Darkest fantasy revealed - I think I would tell some ppl my darkest dirtiest fantasies - but every time I go to tell.... I change the subject n don't go through with revealing anything! If ppl could read my mind at times they would probably run away as fast as they can!! But for those who can tell ppl their fantasies I am in awe of you!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
All I can really think of is that fantastic one liner 'honesty is the best policy' At the end of the day, you know your partner better than any of us, if you were to open up and express your darkest deepest fantasies would he accept them? would he open up as well? thats for you to decide...and above all, both of you knowing each others may even take your relationship to a new and exciting level..If you don't open up, will you later regret it?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Maybe I should give an example. I do agree with that statement europian, or at least find merit in it. My situation may be off topic, but that's what I have you lovely people for. I was driving for an express freight forwarding company. One of the drivers had his birthday in my home state, and he used to own half of a brothel in Melbourne. His birthday saw us at that same brothel with which I chose not engage in the services as I was married. I kept that very same trip a secret from my wife at the time, to not just my protect my sanity, but to protect her from her own antagonistic mind from thinking that I was in fact engaging in extra marital activities, however innocent it was.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Mees have some very interesting thoughts that can do it like nothing else.
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inspirit
12 years ago
i like whispering in their ear while going for it the explosion hehehehe
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RHP User
12 years ago
i have a girlfriend who has told me about some sexual thoughts maybe not fantasies that a guy she knows has had. He has done things with his dog , fantasizes about his sister and flirts with her to the point where he thinks maybe she wants to fuck him aswell and also wonders what sex with his parents might be like . He wondered if she had similar fantasies and only became shy when she said hers were alot different.As a woman i can say my fantasies are nothing like this and i was pretty shocked that this guy was so open to share this information with her. Each to there own but maybe somethings are best kept to yourself. I would be out the door and never seen again if a guy told me he had done or was into these kind of things. I want a guy who wants to fuck me not his dog or mother
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RHP User
12 years ago
If someone told me they'd 'done things with their dog' - assuming what you imply above is what he meant - I'd report them to the RSPCA in a f**king heartbeat. My absolute limit around sexual proclivities is the line between consensual and non-consensual, and the line between able to choose and not able to choose. There is no planet on which it's OK to impose your sexual will on another being.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'hardtruckin2011'Maybe I should give an example. I do agree with that statement europian, or at least find merit in it. My situation may be off topic, but that's what I have you lovely people for. I was driving for an express freight forwarding company. One of the drivers had his birthday in my home state, and he used to own half of a brothel in Melbourne. His birthday saw us at that same brothel with which I chose not engage in the services as I was married. I kept that very same trip a secret from my wife at the time, to not just my protect my sanity, but to protect her from her own antagonistic mind from thinking that I was in fact engaging in extra marital activities, however innocent it was. As you said you didnt do anything wrong. Mees guessing now that she is an ex there were some other things happening.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'brave__heart'If someone told me they'd 'done things with their dog' - assuming what you imply above is what he meant - I'd report them to the RSPCA in a f**king heartbeat. My absolute limit around sexual proclivities is the line between consensual and non-consensual, and the line between able to choose and not able to choose. There is no planet on which it's OK to impose your sexual will on another being. But an interesting quirk of the laws in some countries is that it is ok for females to have sex with dogs as they the dogs are not being forced to have sex, where as rape laws are applicable to males who have sex with dogs. I read a lot of interesting stuff on the net, its amazing where links can take you.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Perhaps a more private setting to discuss that one?? Yes there's a lot more to it. But if I had to sum it up in as few words as possible, I would say covert aggressor/alcoholic.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Maybe not a dark deep secret fantasy but if there are any nurses from Brisbane Hospital reading this I will be in the burns unit for a few days from this monday getting some skin grafts on my hand :D♋
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'hardtruckin2011' <...> I kept that very same trip a secret from my wife at the time, to not just my protect my sanity, but to protect her from her own antagonistic mind from thinking that I was in fact engaging in extra marital activities, however innocent it was.Now that's one interesting point of view... Ok this will go off topic into another world of different opinions I reckon but anyway... usually I really don't mind having a few secrets each in a relationship. But when I know that he would be hurt if he knew anything I'm thinking I usually get a really bad conscience. It feels as if I'm hiding something from him to go the easy way instead. But to me thoughts are free and no one should be hurt by thoughts, if you know what I mean? It's the actions that count, right? I never thought of this as kind of protecting him from himself... Shouldn't he decide what he wants to know however much it hurts? Or do I have a choice in this too...?
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RHP User
12 years ago
It was innocent, but this was a lady who had been cheated on too, so I guess I knew her reaction would be somewhat detrimental in her interpretation. I totally agree though that everyone should be able to choose if they wish to hear those thoughts. Me personally, I'm very much like you in that sense, that they are only thoughts, it doesn't mean you wish to act upon them. It could be overcome by perhaps telling him first that they are dark(violent) then allow him to ask you to elaborate, therein giving him that choice. Using though the example I gave about my now ex wife, be prepared for him to be overwhelmed and a little freaked out, as looking at my example; through my ex's eyes, I'm a male interstate truck driver, I can't keep it in my pants scenario. While I don't wish to imply you have a partner that's remotely like my ex, it may be a total left field thing for him or you in the reverse. Does this make sense?? 1000kms of driving in a day may have hampered my articulation here so please don't hesitate to ask me to repeat it lol.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have been fortunate enough to have had only two (2) lovers whom I could be totally open with, and they were the best relationships. It was fun to accept my partner with her fantasies and in both cases we agreed to nevers say no to each other. I was so liberating once we got into it. I have never betrayed their secrets, and as far as I know, they have never revealed mine. Again, let me say, trust is the basis to this idealic situation. Good luck to all who find someone to be open with......
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