F55
You know you are kinky and dirty when.....
August 23 2014
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
You know you are dirty when you can't believe your current profile pic is restricted. Seriously? That glass icicle is a work of art I tell ya!
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RHP User
10 years ago
You know you're kinky and dirty... When you're looking to replace a favourite toy and the even biggest sex store on Oxford Street doesn't have it.
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madotara69
10 years ago
All the toys are laid out on a pre warmed towel and it becomes devilishly clear it will take hours to get through them all. Mado Tara xx
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Missb4u
10 years ago
a man mentions receiving a deep throat blow job as being the wildest thing he has ever experienced so you don't mention your fuckit list and your girlfriends are discussing if it is ok to buy a vibrator or not....and you picture your bedside draws that are filled with various toys and things and whether you should just grab that red rope...
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Missb4u
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' You know you are dirty when you can't believe your current profile pic is restricted. Seriously? That glass icicle is a work of art I tell ya! it a glorious cheeky sexy pic.....just like you
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RHP User
10 years ago
At the supermarket not everything in your trolley is for the use recommended on the pack You have a special container buried in your freezer that you hope no one will find Your "toy box" contains many items that mist will use every day but not how you like to use them - Posted from rhpmobile
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Hottie1
10 years ago
And one is your strap-on that you use on the gorgeous men in the room. 💋 Mary xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
Your "safe word" is 2 pages long! Obi1
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madotara69
10 years ago
A deep throat blow job, is a wild experience each and every time, never does it become.......what do yous say?... meh Now I know this is more than likely for leading too fingers in bums and all that jazz, but the deep throat blow job is awesome no matter how you like too go about it.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Thank you! Awhile ago I was chatting to a young guy. He was too young but he was really gorgeous, beautiful body. And he made me laugh. The kinkiest thing he had ever done was have sex in a thunder storm! I just thought that was a brilliant answer. Made me laugh anyway. 😋
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MissSarahCurious
10 years ago
when you nod and agree with all 10 points and you also know when speaking with some people that your 'vanilla' and their 'spicy' are still miles apart...
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RHP User
10 years ago
Play mates run very fast away from what you call pre requisites - Posted from rhpmobile
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FunTimeLords
10 years ago
You have more rope in the bedroom than most people have in their garage.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'wiccan_beltane' You have a special container buried in your freezer that you hope no one will find Okay I was thinking something in your ice cube tray at first. But do you mean your glass toys in the freezer? Haven't tried that yet actually.
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RHP User
10 years ago
You hear someone say "No-holds-barred" on TV and think "Shouldn't that be 'holes?'"
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uneventful
10 years ago
When you are a first name basis with the bunnings staff members who see you in there every week buying soft rope. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
When you're house hunting and carpeted bedrooms are a dealbreaker.
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RHP User
10 years ago
See a pin wheel in a sewing kit and wonder if anyone would notice if it went "missing".
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RHP User
10 years ago
Forgot to add: Check furniture for possible restraint points whenever I enter a room.
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RHP User
10 years ago
You know you are kinky and dirty when..... 1. Your vanilla girlfriends tell you about their sexual fantasies with a hot guy and you smile to yourself and say "yep done that" 2. When your toy box is bigger than the kids because you need to fit all your kinky shit in it 3. When you are on first name terms with the shop assistant in the adult sex store 4. When lube and condoms are part of the weekly supermarket shop 5. When you need to wash the bedding daily and resort to putting a plastic sheet on the mattress ;-) 6. When your moaning sets the dogs off and the neighbour wonders who is being murdered 7. When you can't be bothered to remove the bed restraints off the bed in fear of the cleaner discovering it Mrs T_T_F xx
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sethpita
10 years ago
You know your kinky when you use a chooks feather to tease n arouse. you know your dirty when you use the whole chook...................................
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BacioCouple
10 years ago
1. Yours, and not the kids toy box is locked. 2. You're with friends for a 'naughty' night out, and wonder when the hell the 'naughtiness will start.
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QLDtwo4fun
10 years ago
Requires a change of sheets, a change of mattress protector, and a quick wash of the floor.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I started a thread which should give me a lock for this thread(Charlie and the chocolate factory), but this is the first time since then I've had a chance to get back on here....
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incognito7776
10 years ago
You have to leave your own home with dark sunglasses and a hat so the neighbours don't put 2 and 2 together......
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RHP User
10 years ago
When your husband says, "I knew you'd scare that guy off" Next time just talk about anal and sucking toes and stuff until they get here - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I leave my web cam plugged into the computer next to a bottle of massage oil and a box of tissues, hoping to god no one calls in unannounced.
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RHP User
10 years ago
When you're at a friends BBQ and the topic is about sex and everyone brings up kinky things and everyone says " no I'd never do that" and you're the one who has :s When a simple sex act is kinky to some and tame for you.
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blkcapricornday
10 years ago
You know you're kinky when the first thing you check on a persons profile is 'fetish interests' ;)
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TallBaldSexy
10 years ago
When you momentarily forget you are in the fruit & veg section feeling how firm the carrots are oooops :)
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RHP User
10 years ago
You know you are kinky and dirty when 1. Your friends tell you about their wildest adventures and you start thinking about work it's so boring... 2. Your friends tell you about their wildest adventures and you wonder if you have a mental problem and should seek help 3. You can't talk about you sexual adventures to your friends and feel home on this sort of websites (and posts) 4. you invite the sexy roommate to join in for a threesome, although you just met the other one hours earlier at the pub and don't even know in which suburb she took you home :)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Feathers are everywhere, but the chicken carcass cannot be found..There's a pile of garden mulch in the bathroom and a hammer.The double ended dildo has been graffitied with texter pens.There's a feint smell of urine in the wardrobe.A pillow catches fire but smoulders from squirt dampness.The bleating of a goat is coming from the kitchen
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RHP User
10 years ago
When you realise you've had sex in every single meeting room on site...
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Smilingwithfun
10 years ago
You know your kinky when you start to wonder what is kinky.
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Violetincredible
10 years ago
Meeka that is an awesome idea! Hadn't even thought of that- getting that organised today... Really don't want my epitaph messed up because people found things :/ Xxviolet
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madotara69
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' You hear someone say "No-holds-barred" on TV and think "Shouldn't that be 'holes?'" A bottle of baby oil, no holes barred and all bars held.
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RHP User
10 years ago
When you have no one to share your sex stories with because you'd sound like you have very serious issues. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
when every time you look at the TV guide you ALWAYS misread the Rex Hunt Fishing show and read it as Fisting show, then get disappointed when you realise your mistake.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Violetincredible' Meeka that is an awesome idea! Hadn't even thought of that- getting that organised today... Really don't want my epitaph messed up because people found things :/ Xxviolet And you should delete your browsing history from all your devices automatically. I would hate for my mother to see EverythingButt and Public disgrace porn on my internet browsing history while she is looking through my toy box of strapon dildos. Can you imagine! And what about all those nudie rudie photos I have of myself on the lap top? These first world problems keep me up at night I tell ya!!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' when every time you look at the TV guide you ALWAYS misread the Rex Hunt Fishing show and read it as Fisting show, then get disappointed when you realise your mistake. Stuff like that happens to me all the time, but of course I can't think of an example now. In my job we also have to write our initials all the time (for dispensing medications) and every time I see my colleague's (DP) I feel a pussy twinge!
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Lovinit28andKC72
10 years ago
You're buying you whips and crops from a saddlery, when your toybox is no longer a box, it's now a suitcase and when you're buys toys on line and they're coming in boxes, not a box.....💋
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MissSarahCurious
10 years ago
Quoting 'uneventful' When you are a first name basis with the bunnings staff members who see you in there every week buying soft rope. - Posted from rhpmobile They do a lovely silky marine rope that feels delightful and holds quite well. You can also remove the core if you're doing an art piece, the outer layer will lay nice and flat and the core is a rope in itself* *credit to a former RHP member for putting me onto that one. xx Sarah
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MissSarahCurious
10 years ago
to you, "What are you into?" is a simple question and you're frustrated when the other person doesn't give you a real answer. You come to associate flirty evasion with the person being a likely waste of lip gloss. :\
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On_Safari
10 years ago
When you're grocery shopping with a friend and get to the health section and start discussing the nicest of the flavoured lubes near the condom section and recommending your friend try a particular one. Even better when they txt you back a day later saying "Thanks, that lube was fabulous!" 😇
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RHP User
10 years ago
when you have to hide what you are looking at on your iphone when you are on the bus or train or the cafe shop waiting for your coffee so that you don't shock anybody.
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madotara69
10 years ago
and ask the sales rep for some demonstrations with variable speed control triggers in battery operated reciprocating power saws and pull out the dildo attachment, previously purchased from the sex store. And think nothing of it.
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hotcouplewanted
10 years ago
You know you are kinky and dirty when you go to enjoy a spa after a good work out session and a sexy gym member walks in and give you kink look,a smile, that teases you and you have to wait few minutes to get out of the spa because you cock it to hard ....You know you are kinky and dirty when when you recognize this female Gym member here in RHP...and your cock gets hard again...
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On_Safari
10 years ago
When I need help cutting lengths of chain and looking for D shackles 😳 or at the feed barn looking for new ticklers. Lol
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joanne1991
10 years ago
When your girlfriends come over for drinks and discuss their sex lives and the men being younger by 5 years or so, and you realise how boring their lives are compared to your own, and don't say anything of what you did or how old he was. When you have a bag of toys that you have to hide in case the grand children find it.
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RHP User
10 years ago
When Im slicing up a 9" banana for my morning porridge n we used it as well for DP last nite...both very enjoyable!!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Each time you see the blocks of Crisco in the Supermarket you think, that'd be good for Fist and Chips!!!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Your safety phraze is... "Oh f**ck yes! That's it! Do it harder!" Obi1
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RHP User
10 years ago
first time I realized I was dirty was when I woke up on the floor of a bus with a condom in my ear wearing a power rangers costume .
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RHP User
10 years ago
& you can have sexual experience via the interweb...thanks Sexy
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RHP User
10 years ago
Your snooping 11yr old emerges from your bedroom holding up your vibrator and lube and with *rolled eyes and screwed up nose exclaims: "Oh Mum?....You're disgusting!" I since got a new hiding spot for that.
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thedevilsfantasy
10 years ago
I thought I was just normal.. but apparently not lol 😈
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RHP User
10 years ago
When your out sailing with a girlfriend and you anchor in a secluded spot and take the mooring ropes into the cabin .Or , you like to go down on a lady after you or some one else has cum inside her....yummmm!!!!
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RHP User
10 years ago
you tell people you are vanilla and they piss themselves laughing. or when you have toys that are still in the box because you haven't found anyone keen enough to use them with yet.
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nibblemebi
10 years ago
your kinks are not all listed in the "Fetish" section of your profile because there is no option to select them
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Cazz61
10 years ago
When you think you are very tame and everyone else calls you a dirty bitch and says PLEASE NO MORE SEX STORIES!!! Or when everyone around you is blushing from what you have said about your sex life and you cant figure out why
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Cazz61
10 years ago
You have to sit and listen to a friends sex life and you are so bored that silently your praying for someone to come and shoot you to put you out of your misery
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RHP User
10 years ago
When you play the drinking game "I've never..." at a party and you're always the first one to get plastered...
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Greidiawl
10 years ago
you know you are kinky and dirty when you walk through a $2 (or other) store and think - that has alternate uses to what the maker intended and start smiling... and I say $2 stores because they are exceptionally good value for picking up a heap of single use "toys" for kinky play such as sensory dep...
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RHP User
10 years ago
When you go to an adult shop and know more about the products, thier uses and the pros and cons of each than the shop assistants. When any furniture shopping is based around how you can have sex on it and potential restraint points. When staying at a friends place overnight requires you to take a suitcase because you never know what the mood will be and what toys you'll require. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
You know ur kinky when ur private pics sends the couple's running. When ur parents drop by and u wonder if u removed the bed restraints from ur playroom (spare bedroom) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
when you see your inlaws on redhotpie and think "why not" .
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RHP User
10 years ago
Excellent idea - I do worry about that!! Ticked all of your other boxes!! Also ... When I introduce a new friend to a good friend who knows me well and they ask "So how did you two meet? Or don't I want to know???" To which you just smile cheekily. Anna xxx
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RHP User
10 years ago
You know your a little kinky 1.when you really can't tell your family or friends the truth about you and your partners new friend who is over on the weekend 2. When we get home in the morning, the sun is coming up there is no moving on your street and your partner says get naked and walk into the house, and you do without even blinking an eye and not drunk 3. Giving most our playfriends their fucklist of first 4. Being a new very nieve unicorn when '50 shades of grey', came out, I still thought it was basically a mills and boons and didn't read the rest:) 5. still trying to understand if a girl is bi that she doesn't have to like the best of both world (threesomes) and not be worried about the scared look on her face before she runs away in a nightclub, after I say that I only play with my partner and he likes you too...like it is the most natural thing to do in the world, not her world obversiouly but mine.... 6. And always the toys, outfits, shoes, squirt marks, if it is a play date or just finished making sure family work people or friends can't open doors or see toys accidently left out and all photos taken are in the keep safe app so no one can see them on the iPads iPods computer iPhones Uhmmmm can't think of more at the moment 7. When you love to share, watch, enjoy something's or someone for hours and hours and when that time is over and you go back to work or listen to your 'other' beautiful friends you just smile at anything because you a living the life that is you and it is amazing you found that, lots of people never will.... Oooohhhhh and young children who have heard a buzzing/moaning noise or seen something on the bed know that neck massages come in different shapes and sizes - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
When the hot young man we're sharing a hotel room with says he's never heard of a DVP and doubts it's even possible... ;-) x Ms Shout.
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RHP User
10 years ago
When one of your dresses gets found 5 days later behind some cushions on a couch. When 2 of your dresses go to Fiji without you When you're in a night club with friends and you kiss him and her. When you explain to all your colleagues what poly amorous means. When you nearly drown your lover
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RHP User
10 years ago
!!!
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RHP User
10 years ago
You decide to make your own whip cause you don't like the ones in sex shops And Your standard response for "what did you do on the weekend" is "Oh nothing just chilled"
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RHP User
10 years ago
This happened to me recently..... You know you are with someone kinky when she asks you to spit in her mouth while I was fucking her. You know when you are getting kinky when you oblige.......I Spat in her mouth...a number of times and started to find it a turn on!!!!!!! I would love a second opinion, does that make me kinky?
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RHP User
10 years ago
you know you're kinky when you go to the doctor for your STI check and get horny watching the needle slide in, that gets my blood going.
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RHP User
10 years ago
When filling out a questionnaire at the same surgery that asks how many sexual partners you've had, and you think "this week?"
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'wiccan_beltane' You have a special container buried in your freezer that you hope no one will find Okay I was thinking something in your ice cube tray at first. But do you mean your glass toys in the freezer? Haven't tried that yet actually. I have been told that a frozen banana is pretty good too!!!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Your fucket list is full of ticks!!!
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boots_69
10 years ago
And friend turns and asks how long for you to make this with these modifications
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RHP User
10 years ago
when you run out of fingers counting them all, haha
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RHP User
10 years ago
When your fist is still in their arse when you are filling out the form.
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RHP User
10 years ago
You read this thread and just nod and say yep... And it all sounds pretty standard. Oh and when you are in the pet shop buying the dog a new collar. You end up buying 3. One for the dog and two for....
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tipper930
10 years ago
A while back I was playing with a friend and was using 2 toys, at the last second we see her son walking into the house. We cover ourselves with the washing that was brought in earlier and he sits between us on the washing... He then asks why can he feel the washing machine in the clothes 😱
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RHP User
10 years ago
In the supermarket you pick up a carrot just as an old lady bends over right in front of you... O:-) Spicy :-D
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