avidmale

avidmale

M37

You want.. I want

March 27 2012

So RHP, I'd like some opinions on a situation that I've got myself into.Basically... I've met up with this chick that I've seen twice now.. and both times sex was involved.I really wasnt expecting it to happen the first time, and i believe the initial move was made by her, and i played along.. as you do....Second time i was half expecting it.Shes great to hang out with, and definately good in the bedroom but I think shes expecting more from this relationship on the long run, a bf/gf thing, whereas I dont think of it that way.I have a feeling I know I should break this up now (or at least tell her this) at an early stage but like a lot of guys, probably will find it hard to find the balls to do it.Has anyone been in this sort of situation? Have you let it go, said nothing? What became of it? Would breaking this up now more than likely end all forms of relations?Cheers

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Be a man about it and let her decide if she is happy with a friendship on those terms. If you're worried that you may like this girl too much and fear forming attachments of your own, you're an idiot. She may be someone you regret not holding onto in the future.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Be upfront and ask her "So what are you looking for? " You never know she may surprise you and say that her husband is the only man she will ever truly love. LOL.. Well you know what I mean, you have only met twice so you can't really make any assumptions on what she wants or what her situation is. But yes, tell her now or some how work it into the conversation that you are only looking for a short term fling, or what ever it is you that you want. Some girls will only hear what they want to hear I am afraid but you still need to be totally honest. If you don't and she does expect things to become serious, well you are only going to hurt her, and I am sure that is not what you want. Right?You have balls dontcha? Use them. xxMeeka

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    She may want the same thing...but if she is wanting more than what you are willing to give, then let her go find someone else that can give her what she wants, you go and find someone that can give you what you want...don't waste her time or yours by just saying nothing and hoping that she will just continue with the arrangement you have going...if you have the balls to bonk her brains out then you have the balls to tell her you only consider her a FB or FWB...and accept her decision either way...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Meeka pretty much summed it up.....of course you could be wrong she may just want the same as you....xH

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    It reminds me of that joke, What does a lesbian bring on the second date? Everything!   Lets see. 1. She's definately good in bed 2. She's great to hang out with   Well I can see why you wouldn't want to be her boyfriend. OK I guess you've got your reasons, so just tell her how you see things. And if she doesn't douse you in petrol and set fire to you maybe you can still be FWB's. You never know, maybe she's getting from you exactly what she wants. Win-Win

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Talk. Now. Better out than in, and all that stuff. At least if you are completely and sincerely honest with her, then she cannot come back later and say you were deceptive. Cover your arse. You can be subtle about working out what she wants, or you can come right out and ask her. But you should at least state your own intentions clearly. . I warn you though, she may still want to have sex with you. I personally find honesty, straight-talking communication, mixed with some balls to be a serious turn on! . Flirty x

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    'man' up and take some initiative.... tell the girl what you are thinking/feeling, because if you dont now, and continue to play, when you do eventually tell her, or put an end to play...you run the real risk of her being very hurt by your actions...or lack of, and she may end up hating you.......

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Quoting 'Hesione' Meeka pretty much summed it up.....of course you could be wrong she may just want the same as you....xH Dont assume anything, just ask her. For gods sake dont text it either, that does not constitute "talking".Minxy x

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Mate,   The fact that you've even had to ask this question is a worry!   As many of the other posts have commented - use those balls, man up and be honest with the poor girl   You may be surprised by the response...

  • avidmale

    avidmale

    13 years ago

    Thanks all.. As i said in the OP, i pretty much knew this would be the general consensus. I guess i just wanted to hear it to add to the weight of knowing thats what should be done. Something i didnt mention, is that its not just a couple of 'dates', we are in contact pretty much every other day. Which is why i made the original assumption that she wanted more.@Jensman No its not purely sexual... the sex part came along unexpectantly. Basically she has an understanding of some other crap ive had to deal with @Ramakin yeah.. i have my reasons in which it just wouldnt work on a higher relationship level aannd.. i dont think id like to disclose those

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Quoting 'jensman1903' Be a man about it and let her decide if she is happy with a friendship on those terms. If you're worried that you may like this girl too much and fear forming attachments of your own, you're an idiot. She may be someone you regret not holding onto in the future.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Maybe just keep stringing her along. Good sex is hard to find when you're no oil painting!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Quoting 'Jean_Girard' Maybe just keep stringing her along. Good sex is hard to find when you're no oil painting!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Maybe just keep stringing her along. Good sex is hard to find when you're no oil painting!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Is run Forrest Run.   Like the book says , your not really into her Well your dick is but that is beside the point.   For her she may think your interestedd in a relationship, and you are feeling the lurrrrv coming your way and you don’t want it then get out of dodge.   If you keep screwing a woman without telling her right up front, your just a root baby. do not get any ideas, Then she may think you want a bit of deep and meaningful   As the other women said that may not even work at times, as women think they will win out of they give you the velvet trap enough times.   They hear what the wanna hear   And men shut their brains of and hear what willy wants to say and it says   Let me in again to that warm wet pussy.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Tell her it's just sex

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Hey mate hows things? I read your post and Ive been there too... I lived in canada for a while and about 3 months before I left I met a girl and we got along and things ended up in the bedroom... we had known eachother through a friend for a while but not super close or anything. Anyway right from the outset I made it pretty clear that I was leaving the the potential for the relationship was limited because of that, but off she went. Within a few weeks she was talking about buying a ticket to my next destination and talking about when I could meet her parents (no Im not kidding, I actually had to hang out with her whole family for a day because they were visiting and I didnt find out till I went over to her place - now, they are fine people but I have enough friends and I wasnt happy with how she put me into that situaton without at least a little forewarning)   So anyway... I ended up in the canundrum youre in... and heres what I did.... we were out walking about one night (it was a passtime we shared to just go and mosey about the small town we lived in at night) and At some point (I didnt really pick a special moment) I brought it up with words like this:   "Hey, I thiink we should probably air what we think about this relationship before either of us missunderstand each other and end up hurt. For me it feels like a good time to do this now before we are at a point where assumptions are being made about how things are panning out"     After getting that bit out she started asking questions about why I thought that and then as the conversation progressed I kept returning to the point that for me this was a short term thing, and while I really liked her and the situaion as it was I didnt want it to progress into something bigger than it was already...   We ended up deciding to break things off that night but the sense of relief I felt walking away from that conversation was totally worth the effort of taking the initiative and starting the conversation.   Dont be scared about it, keep your cool, speak in the same tone you would use to describe the situation to a good mate - not too emotional just talking about it.   If things get heated return to "I" statements and stick to your points in a calm way that way you will express your view calmly and she gets to decide how she wants to react - fair in my books.   Anyway... it turned out well and the funny thing is the very next day (totally unplanned) I met a girl and we ended up being together for 2 years and traveled all over europe... it was awesome...   Good luck LS

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    too all those idiots using the phrase "man up" Man up what? dont be rediculous... this is something both men and women come across... saying "man up" is the most ambiguous and small minded piece of advise I have ever heard. how about you think a little deeper and help the chap out with some real advice on how you might have dealt with a similar circumstance for a positive outcome...   LS