F110
Your children and your lifestyle
March 26 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
My youngest found a sealed condom in my draw and asked me what it was.I played dumb and said I'm not sure, and that I think it is something my older son or his GF might have forgotten here whilst they were visiting in December. He says "Oh, must be one of Ts' hairbands" . God, I love the innocence. While said older son and GF were visiting I took them to a nightclub. The 3 of us were dancing and a man started dancing a bit too close behind me. My son quietly moved me around so that I was away from the man. I jokingly asked him "But what if I wanted to snog him?". He replied, "As long as you don't do it in front of me." Yes! I melted at the fact that he is so protective over me.
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Enjoylifealways
11 years ago
We keep our lifestyle away from our children . We only bring people home when they are a sleep and they don't stay over. They don't have the mental understand to be exposed to it besides it isn't there business. I wouldn't show them my underwear or sex toys so why would I show them my lovers.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't even have male friends over for coffee when my son is with me. I wouldn't introduce him to anyone unless I thought it was turning into something serious.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have been single now for 18 months and not yet bought a man home.I have 100% custody so its very rare that I have the house to myself and I would not feel comfortable bringing a man to the house while the kids were here unless of course I started seeing some one on a more serious/regular basis. This is their home first and foremost.I think my 17 year old may have caught on when I say I'm going to a party or I'm going to the "club" as she knows I am on RHP. She has never asked me outright and I would never offer the info otherwise. She is the kind of person who would rather not know , as long as I am safe and happy that's all she is concerned about.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I am one who has tempted your question. My 9yo asked "Who was visiting" simply by the fact I was hurriedly cleaning my house. She knows I'm not house proud, she knew I was expecting company. I have tried to explain in age appropriate conversation that I wont be sitting at home lonely whilst Daddy & Hannah have you. Mummy will have dates and watch movies and share dinners with 'friends' whilst you are at Dad's. But there is no way in hell my kids will have a concept of my sexuality. That innocent question is exactly that, innocent. There is no fish bowl in the hallway for key exchanges. Yes, the little buggers are so intuitive, but hello, no chance of getting close to reality. "I have read a few comments here about children's comments when they notice their parent/s preparing for a date, but what are your thoughts regarding this?" - We can't pretend we are dead, yes we need to be careful, but I recall my folks having a life too. I am 10 times more careful than my folks were. My kids meet nobody, literally, me being tidy promotes suspicion with my daughter. Flog me! She now knows I'll watch a movie with a man when she isn't around... with the washing up done! "Do you keep your lovers/play dates separate from your family or do you think it's OK for them to know about your lifestyle choices? xx Q" - Physically NO NO NO, miles apart. But again, if my kid asks who is coming, I aint gonna lie, My mate 'x' is coming tonight - in a completely age appropriate manner. As far as my kid is concerned, I could prove beer & skittles last night. It's all solid. There is absolutely NO sleeze If there was I'd retch in my own mouth. I have the unfortunate situ where I have a loser sister who has been a junkie for decades, give me a break from wasting DOCS time... but none of us have that break. I adore your passion, I get your angst, I appreciate your time, I trust your will, we both want more from humanity....
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think my dogs are scarred for life.
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RHP User
11 years ago
There was one former poster who brought her (I think) 19 year-old daughter to a meet and greet. Daughter seemed perfectly at easy, though I was relieved when she opted not to join mum at The Couples Club!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sorry for the extra post.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' There was one former poster who brought her (I think) 19 year-old daughter to a meet and greet. Daughter seemed perfectly at easy, though I was relieved when she opted not to join mum at The Couples Club! That is all ...
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
As most of you know my daughter is older...when she was living, with me it was very rare that I brought someone home or even introduced them..she know they were special or I had some sort of relationship with them, if I did. She's not silly, she knows I am on forums and that I chat to others. However she does not know what site. I have tried my best to role model to her what healthy relationships and healthy friendship are all about. We have had some great really awesome conversations about sexual relationships, different types of kinks, etc etc. She has met some, (selected) people, whom I trust/ed, from here. I know of a person with a teenage child living, full time with them. I would get quite worried/concerned and question, why they would bring different lovers into their home. One would leave and another would enter on the same day, minutes a/hours apart. Meanwhile their child would watch and observe and left in the back ground. I felt for them, how sad and lonely would they feel?? I called that behavior, "The revolving Door". Sorry if someone role-models that to a child, it's not OK. I only hope, as the child matures, they are able to choose what is healthy relationships and that "the revolving door" is unhealthy. Sad to know people mix playdates and children in an unhealthy way. Foxy
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have 100% custody of my kids also. Between working sometimes over 60hrs a week, running around after kids and sort of having a social life, having a sex life is hard. I wont bring guys home unless there are no kids there, I really miss sex in a bed!! Fortunately I manage to get laid at work more often, I just have to worry about the boss finding out, cars are another avenue but not ideal, on the odd occasion, a motel room. I have 3 boys, almost 20, 18 & 10. They have an understanding that I am going to meet people, the 10yo is nosey and plays 20 questions but as far as sex is concerned it isn't something I discuss with them. I think they are quite aware that I am a sexual being, there are usually sex toys on my bedside table, I found my 2yo nephew playing with 'the racecar sounding one' lol. My mum and sisters know I am a dirty get about and offer to babysit at times.
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
Errrrrrrrrrrr ummmm I'm unsure about that, in two minds. How ever, a couples club....NOPE I could not with my daughter no matter what age. I like to have adult time away from her, bit to close for me. Plus she hates seeing me hanging around the house wearing pretty panties and matching bra..so imagine what she would be like in couples club! LOL I can hear it now........."Mum, put some clothes on!!" Foxy
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RHP User
11 years ago
One of hubbies parents friends invited us to swing, I was way to innocent then and didn't even understand what they were talking about..... I found out later that he use to take his adoptive son and daughter (19 and 22) to the CC, all I could think was GROSS, no way on g-ds earth I would even contemplate this............
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N4November
11 years ago
There are no compromises when it comes to this sort of stuff. Being a parent comes first. No guests sneaking in after the kids are asleep and that sort of thing. I have known of swingers who have with kids in the house. Wtf? Once seen, you can never take back what you saw. I think it's ok that the kids know get dressed up to go out! That the kids know if the door is closed, enter only after knocking and asked in. In the case of my kids they know that nudity is normal and that's cool too but just don't let them see your bits lol! If my kids were older, I don't think I would tell them my sexual exploits specifically. TMI people!
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madotara69
11 years ago
We have this thing, first thing we made important for our kids. The last thing in the world we could bare, is to the thought our son or either daughter could be face down somewhere on something, afraid to call their parents. Naive to think they are safe from the temptations we all grew up around. Sex drugs and pop rap Miley and the types of parties. St Vincent Hospital calls out bring the kids in, we won't get them in trouble, just bring them in. Dehydration the big killer. We have made a promise that being open and honest, never would we judge to it. No matter what, so we can't lie to them. They, our kids 20,18 and 3 are all beautiful kids and we know everything that is going on any time, anywhere. Our son knows Our daughter has never asked, and the little one well she is a child, we would do nothing to taint her little mind. We will never lose her either. Can't lie to them and lose that trust. Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
May we still be swinging when our children are that age... Ours are 13 & 15 and whilst we are open about all other things in our life, swinging I don't think will be one of them.... I can't say what the reasoning is, as I don't know myself, it could be because hubby freaks out at the very thought, it could be, that I feel at this age the type of life they lead and their ages, they do not need that level of information....... However, having to be so fluid with the children's upbringing, that could change in the future...... Don't you just love the future, anything can happen :). Enjoy
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DynamicCouple36
11 years ago
We have two young children and will never play, at home, with anyone from here not the other swingers site that we have a profile on. Firstly we value our privacy an anonymity, for very good reasons, and would not want to become victims of stalkers. For that reason, if and when we have played, it's always been at a club or private party and never at home. We would certainly not want our kids, friends or family to find out about all of this. Life is complicated enough as it is. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Both know my lifestyle....ok I am not a swinger or have been in an orgy still both know I am meeting men and have sex.Both know I am still in this old age very sexual, my youngest 24 now ask me more questions and we talk about sex more often the oldest is 32 and he just grins....I was always open with them both and we surged the internet or read book and magazines Playboy most as my husband was a life.I don't believe to keep my sex life hidden, I don't lie to my children, and I hope both dont lie to me. Both dont live with me any more, both accept they cant just knock on my door before ringing me, the same as I would not do to them. We are all adults now and have mutual respect to each other.I believe sex should never be a TABU or a hidden subject. How can anyone grow to see sex as a natural thing when we as adults push it in a dark corner......yes we all do it but we dont talk about.Both of my sons can ask me anything and I will answer honestly.I have only half not even half experienced what my oldest already knows.So who is the "child" here.How can our kids ever accept that sex is still fun and beautiful even we are getting old and wrinkly when we hide this part from them. None of my boys ever said EEEEEEKKKK Mum you have sex.Yes they giggle with me when I talk about some stuff I have difficulties with and they take the piss out of me, but they both respect me for being a sexual being.
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RHP User
11 years ago
We have had couple come visit, have sleep overs etc. we have a house where upstairs is kids and we are different area downstairs so not had a problem. (Plus timber floors so you hear them long before they arrive) Our kids are both under ten so at this point it has been pretty easy and the kids just think we are having friends over. Mind you it has become a very occasional thing so probably hard to pick anyway. The neighbours on the other hand (outdoor spa) I would not be surprised if they are a little more aware....
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RHP User
11 years ago
Not to draw reference to your age (sorry) But honestly: I wish my mum was still happy enough to be sexual at her age. I would be happier knowing she is. I don't think it should bother you at all. We are approaching the teenage years here, I would be interested in knowing how open you were with your kids during these times? We are very open at home from an affection and nudity point of view but obviously keep the sex out of it and definitely others of course. Ironically for a very open house we have two very opposite children. Eldest is if anything a prude, youngest come up with some interesting stuff that frankly worries me a little for what might come next (not to mention no idea where it comes from, seriously)
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MissSarahCurious
11 years ago
I'm pretty blessed, my children's father is a great dad so we have 50/50 custody. Aside from a hiccup recently where I had the children full-time for a few months, I get a week with my kids plus the luxury of a whole week to myself at a time. For that reason, I won't mix play time with parenting time, and it irks me that men who know that will still keep asking if they can sneak in late at night once my children are asleep. I understand other mothers might do it and I respect their needs, if I had my kids 100% permanently I might need to make other arrangements but it's my choice to keep the playtime to 'my' week. It's a real turn-off for me when guys continue to push. Guys, your dick is nowhere near as important as anyone's children, respect that. xx Sarah
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RHP User
11 years ago
Firstly anyone that brings strangers into there house to play is a fool. Trust me I worked with those nice set offenders that look harmless but can wander around your house picking up clues re your kids. It infuriates me, as as a child I was exposed to this. If your kids are adults it's a different matter. As for me n
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RHP User
11 years ago
Lost the plot ..lady t without a clue what I was about to say when I was interrupted by the dog wanting a piece of someone
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RHP User
11 years ago
my kids know i see other women but i think it's easy in this situation and would be much more difficult if i were seeing other guys. they have come to know some women and weren't sure of what to call them ? (step mum?) and so that makes it more difficult...but besides the attachment that comes when i know someone well and they meet the children, it's no big deal to them. they just think im happy. i wish my mother had have dated after she broke up with my father but she didn't.
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JohnAnn2227
11 years ago
We keep our lifestyle private from the kids and it always will be, hopefully. In our house nudity is appreciated as being normal and healthy and we all spend a lot of time naked at home and in the pool. When they kids were toddlers we would have friends over to "play"as they were upstairs in bed and the child safety gates were at the top of the stairs. We could safely play with friends and with the baby monitors we could hold nude pool parties etc without any problems. Now however the kids are older and the gates are gone so the playdates at home with the kids asleep are over. We have also had to pack the "toys" away in a sealed opaque plastic tub which is now at the top of the wardrobe. Just can't have them finding those. Our open marraige has taken a hit as well as it is really hard explaining to a 7 year old why mummy is going out with her friend (male) and won't be back until the morning. When they were toddlers it wasn't a problem. Family will always come first and even when the kids are grown up our swinging is our business not theirs.
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Seachange
11 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' I know of a person with a teenage child living, full time with them. I would get quite worried/concerned and question, why they would bring different lovers into their home. One would leave and another would enter on the same day, minutes a/hours apart. Meanwhile their child would watch and observe and left in the back ground. I felt for them, how sad and lonely would they feel?? I called that behavior, "The revolving Door". Sorry if someone role-models that to a child, it's not OK. I only hope, as the child matures, they are able to choose what is healthy relationships and that "the revolving door" is unhealthy. Sad to know people mix playdates and children in an unhealthy way. FoxyFoxy, I agree with you. If we have kids, our first and foremost responsibility and priority, aside from our health and wellbeing, is them. I don't bring a man home to meet them unless i believe it is serious relationship. A friend of mine is on several sites (I don't know where she finds the time and energy) and has that 'revolving door' approach, not considering the feelings of her young daughter. I have discussed this behavior to her as it is an unhealthy role model for her daughter. She chastised me and told me to butt out of her business. So I did. But she used to always run to me or call me up in the middle of the night (usually in my pyjamas) to pick her up if she is stuck with some poor bastard who dumps or done the dirty on her. History repeats itself and I have have stopped encouraging this behavior but cutting ties with her. She is simply a user and toxic to me. I just pity her young daughter.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Always a hard one trying to decide the correct parenting techniques. We all view parenting differently and what works for you may not work for me. My view..... I am a single mum, 100% custody of a 17 an 9yr old. I have an older child of 22 who lives up north, I don't get a day off from parenting. ....it is a very RARE occasion that I will allow a male to my house, and as for a sleepover, well have allowed one to happen but that has circumstances behind it an to be honest loved having him in bed all night, sex on tap. My 17yr old is aware of my meets and being on rhp. She wants me to be happy and understands that I have wants and needs, I do have male friends over on a platonic level as well as females so visitors at night are not an unusual occurrence, I love catching up with friends when I can, I do not flaunt men in front of my children an try to avoid them meeting, but you cannot always contain the innocence of a 9yr old wanting to ask mum a question while she has a drink with a friend. (Same as kids always wanting your attention while your on the phone) it is a balancing act for me between work, family and play.. generally I play away from home where possible.
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