F40
You're definition of cheating / an affair?
September 27 2014
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
Anything you wouldn't be comfortable for your partner to know about. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
If you have to lie about it - it's cheating. That will vary widely between different couples and what they have agreed are the boundaries within their own relationship. For some it may be having dinner with another woman and not telling your wife because you know it will upset her, for others it may be sleeping with someone without telling your partner.
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ruby_blossum
10 years ago
cheating is doing, saying, seeing anything you wouldnt do if your partner was standing right next to you.
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RHP User
10 years ago
in all it's forms be it mental or physical. If you are actively seeking the attention of someone of the opposite sex for your own gratification, then that is cheating to me. I don't believe in accidents either, my ex said 'I didn't mean for it to happen' so I said, 'did you trip and your dick accidentally fell into her?' I understand that attractions can happen especially if things are not quite right at home, but it is up to you if you allow that attraction to impede on the partnership you already have.
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RHP User
10 years ago
For every relationship, the line being drawn in the sand is different What I regard to be cheating may completely differ from say what my best friend regards as cheating actions Only two people can ever really know what cheating is to them and the relationship and that is the two people in the said relationship
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RHP User
10 years ago
Anything I don't know about ....sex stuff is ok, I get the momentary loss if reason . ....but to me ( and him ) emotional connection is a deal breaker ......I'd rather him tell me he fucked a girl in an alley behind a club than had lots of coffee dates and chats with someone . However like I said , full disclosure ...all good , don't hide shit from me !! - Posted from rhpmobile
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OPNmarriagecpl
10 years ago
with the females defintion. Cheating is lying and dishonesty in it simplest form. - Posted from rhpmobile
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OPNmarriagecpl
10 years ago
What is your answer or take on your own question????? - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
When you know it's wrong, morally and ethically, but still somehow still do it because you dismiss your feelings/desires to gain some sort of pleasure or attention..as in personal bounders are crossed, but most of all a person cheats themselves when they cheat others. It does not have to be in a relationship either. People cheat for all sorts of reasons and it can vary from person to person. To me, there are many forms of cheating; financial, emotinal, physical and sexual. If you are talking about cheating in a relationship I believe people do it to get out of a situation that has discomfort. Sometimes I think when people cheat, they secretly want to get caught, redirect that guilt away from that discomfort they are in. And cheating to me is when the partner does not know. Foxy
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RHP User
10 years ago
That cheating is when you have a good think about what you are doing and think I wouldn't like it or I would be angry if I knew he/she was doing this behind my back - Posted from rhpmobile
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Smilingwithfun
10 years ago
With Ruby. An excellent definition.
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Missb4u
10 years ago
Perfect summary of what I believe cheating is. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Is on the money here..no matter the reason or justificationxxQ
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RHP User
10 years ago
Is on the money here..no matter the reason or justificationxxQ
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uneventful
10 years ago
When the other partner isn't aware. Work mates can have lunch or dinner together ... I don't call that cheating .. But when it gets physical /intimate ..that is to me cheating ... It is up to peoples individually as to whether they want to participate in the cheating event. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
and those who agree with you... AND.. this includes much more.. including, but limited to gambling, financial deals, business partnerships, investments...
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NawtyNNice777
10 years ago
has summed my view on it up perfectly. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I give the same definition Ruby did.
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TallBaldSexy
10 years ago
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.....Aries are fiercely loyal we expect a lot but equally reciprocate.
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Single_Guy4U
10 years ago
I was going to agree with Ruby, still do, but appears everyone else has beat me too it. Must be the right answer then. Also SensualAries "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" SG
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'ruby_blossum' cheating is doing, saying, seeing anything you wouldn't do if your partner was standing right next to you. I think cheating is when you're doing something that you know would upset your partner or goes against rules you've set for your particular relationship. That could be anything from chatting to a member of the opposite sex, having a lunch/dinner date, kissing or full on sex. I'm in an open relationship but we're not swingers so I wouldn't try and pick someone up or do anything if my partner was standing next to me as that's one of our rules. When she's not around though... I think it's up to each couple to chat and be open about what they consider cheating and for no-one else to judge them.
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RHP User
10 years ago
There wouldn't be any such thing as cheating.. A chemical reaction takes place when 2 ppl are attracted and that will happen wether your attached or not. Such is the primal instinct that we find it hard to ignore. I don't think anyone cheats for the hell of it , unless of course they are addicted to sex and cheat to satisfy that constant itch... If a man or a woman knows they are cheating when it happens , why can't they pull back ?
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him_and_me
10 years ago
Quoting 'Jay_Me' If a man or a woman knows they are cheating when it happens , why can't they pull back ? I think that's a bit like asking why, if someone knows that stealing is wrong, they still do it. Sometimes people do things because they can. Temptation (especially if, as you say, there is chemistry involved) is hard to resist and I think sometimes people just do because the opportunity and desire are there. Mr Him and I have talked a bit about this topic in the last few days, asking each other how we'd define cheating. It's harder than it sounds! Lol. As someone said, if Him had coffee with a mate without telling me beforehand I wouldn't consider it cheating, even if it was one of my girlfriends. It would be very unusual but not necessarily wrong! Trust is so, so important. It's hard to recover from having your trust shaken... so for us, anything that feels 'wrong' would probably fall into the cheating basket. And anything that comes even close to going in there, we disclose and discuss. Not always easy, but so important. x Me
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ruby_blossum
10 years ago
I think this is the first time in my rhp history that so many folk have agreed with me. What I said is pretty basic and simple....some have thrown in their shades of grey as nothing is rarely black & white. It is also about choice, True_Gent chooses not to pick up someone infront of his wife our of respect for their open marriage rules. Jay_Me, the men & women you speak of choose to cheat.
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Violetincredible
10 years ago
Ok I know this will cause controversy :/ sorry ... Personally I believe in loving a person - and that means loving them unconditionally... People say they have been cheated on when they feel jealous or hurt by their partners actions- they usually feel this way because it threatens their security so to make the person feel guilty and get them to behave in a way that makes them feel better (ie control them) they say "you cheated on me"... Yes there should be agreed boundaries etc in a relationship and if you accidentally break them you discuss it.. If you have total faith in your partners love for you then you should feel secure no matter what. Hmm just my opinion- now please don't crucify me!! Xxviolet
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Plain
10 years ago
An affair to cheat, I have been told that I cheat because I said one of my partners friends is gorgeous, with partner beside me. Now me thinks this subject of late has been bashed up beyond belief and all it exposes are deep insecurities fed by media, gossip etc. We espouse the most conservative of interpretations on this subject about 1900 era ie very narrow and simplistic and have no clue about how expansive humanity has become in the last century to deal with various issues and scenarios. In essence take your blinkers off, as you have cheated and dismissed it. I cheat, I have written about it been guilty about it and sometimes regretted it, but sometimes my sanity needs it and as somebody has written about it there are far more powerful chemical reactions in motion, than invented jealousies and petty mindedness interpretations of the C word.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I am glad VI had put down what I was thinking in such an articulate way . I'm not sure how many people will agree but if you think about it and get past your own insecurities it's a very liberating way of looking at our way of dealing with each other. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Hey "Me" ... Yes, that's what I meant . They can't pull back .. Once committed , it's near impossible to pull back.... I know in the heat of the moment, things just happen... Ruby'. Yes agree, it is a choice . But only if it's made before the passion begins, then nature steps in.... Jay...
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RHP User
10 years ago
a 'loving partner' knowingly hurting the person they are supposed to love. Were is the love from that person? It isn't a mistake, it is someone going out of their way to pursue the attention of another knowing full well that they shouldn't be doing it. Does it threaten their security? Absolutely it does, it threatens everything they ever knew about their relationship and it's impending doom. Some people say they get over it but they don't, they put up with it because they don't want to lose their family or the one who cheated thinking/hoping it won't happen again. The trust is gone and also the respect, 2 very big factors in a successful relationship. Your partner should make you feel secure not undermine your security and your faith is only as good as what you feel to be true.
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Circe
10 years ago
I think that cheating is stepping outside whatever boundaries you and your partner have set... For me any sort of emotional, romantic connection to another person would be a deal breaker. Also lying- cheating head connotations of a breach of trust so doing anything your partner trusts you not to do...
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ruby_blossum
10 years ago
I love what you said. It would be wonderful in a perfect world. Alas, the world we live in isnt perfect and not many folk are capable of the type of communication you have indicated.
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PartyOrg
10 years ago
Seriously ................. I have to say the way you put your argument, I can not do anything else but agree with everything you say. It is good to see a different point of view on this matter. Four thumbs up from me ;)
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RHP User
10 years ago
I see where your argument is valid but if I say vows that include 'forsaking all others' but I sleep with others without the knowledge of the foresworn, that is cheating. If I say to a girl that I want a monogamous relationship then sleep with someone else, that's cheating. It's the breach of trust.
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RHP User
10 years ago
what a fantastic outlook on life you have!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
Quoting 'Violetincredible' Ok I know this will cause controversy :/ sorry ... Personally I believe in loving a person - and that means loving them unconditionally... People say they have been cheated on when they feel jealous or hurt by their partners actions- they usually feel this way because it threatens their security so to make the person feel guilty and get them to behave in a way that makes them feel better (ie control them) they say "you cheated on me"... Yes there should be agreed boundaries etc in a relationship and if you accidentally break them you discuss it.. If you have total faith in your partners love for you then you should feel secure no matter what. Hmm just my opinion- now please don't crucify me!! Xxviolet That was well put..... and I agree with most of it However, people generally dont "accidentally break" boundaries. They make choices. They choose to deceive, choose to hide, choose to skulk and choose to deny.So while the love may be unconditional.... the emotional responses to being hurt through that other persons choices is understandable. How its dealt with, is the important point. DG
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RHP User
10 years ago
I dont believe in cheating either. However - I do believe in deceiving - and being lied to will incur consequences. Lying about anything to someone who trusts you to tell the truth can and will break a relationship regardless of how strong. For without trust, how can you be a peace? Also, lying by omission (not telling) is still a lie. So is convincing ones self that the reason behind the deception is justified. Still a lie. :-( Mrs B X - Posted from rhpmobile
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