M54
a mate of mine....
December 04 2010
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
Some men are in charge of the sex and the relationship part.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Huge generalisation but I think your friend may be right in that most men would not break up a long term relationship. Not sure why that is??
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RHP User
14 years ago
thanks meeka for replying... is mixed response and emotions I guess... i still stand by.. you go out for a drink dinner whatever... however the woman will say where it goes from there.. a kiss a cuddle.. sex.. or maybe stop at the cuddle! as said I respect that.. beyond the sex and continue coffee .. dinner date.. have a movie walk aloing the beach (as I did last night) talk about xmas and new year.... beyond the festive seasion... and family/friends committments... who controls the sex and relationships... i dont think anyone here would agree woman controls the sex.. and please dont slain me for saying that.. as said i respect women for saying no... i do think men say whether they want to continue seeing the woman... especially after they have agreed to sex.. is it the 3 day later phone call? is it wanting to catch up on a saturday night? give away the poker night? and go yea i like this woman... and is this woman wanting to hear this? another forum was about single/committed relationships.. very relevant.. how does one commit to either after experiencing either.. from a male... would most 'single' woman.. would like they like it eg monogmay... or wud they like to continue swinging/... but in single life.. either sex.. does that mean swinging? does swinging become real when with a partner? maybe a few too many beers!
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RHP User
14 years ago
20 years together ....13 yrs married....I had no options and she ended it quick with nothing available to me other than to get out ...."dont worry the kids will be fine with this" was the parting comment about the kids....Strange cattle .....So in answer to the question...she was in charge of the split and now I"M IN CHARGE of the brave new worldLife is finally good...!Chill
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RHP User
14 years ago
It seems to me that the catalyst for breaking up is often a person. People are more likely to be dissatisfied if there is someone offering the 'grass is greener in my bed'. Thats not to say there were not valid reasons for leaving...but often we work on the problems & make the original relationship work if there is not someone waiting in the wings. Both men & women seem to break up long term relationships. My opinion is in swinging/RHP world girls are in charge...buyers market there are more men wanting sex with no strings than women. But in the normal world, girls looking for life partners...There seems to be more women & not very many worth while men who are interested. Add into the mix past relationships, kids, work & friends...plus the older we get the more set in our ways we are...Finding a partner to cohabit with sounds really hard! So glad Im not out there!!! Mrs H xx
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RHP User
14 years ago
unless you like being lead all the time..its important to find someone on the same level as yourself. WE make choices for us...of course in the play scene we might take turns at "being the boss" hahah...women arnt in charge of sex? any more than men are..unless you like to be controlled and manipulated? if i dont want to play...i say no thanks...same as she would... Berns
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RHP User
14 years ago
A man can choose a woman, but a woman will choose the man who will win her. Women will say yes to the one they want as the man in their lives, whether it be for a night or for a relationship. All men really do is sell themselves and show what they have that makes them shine as a potential suitor. Were a bunch of animals when it comes down to it! Jose!
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RHP User
14 years ago
This is a topic Im really intersted in. I just ended a 13 year relationship of which 9 were married and now Im (for the first time in my life) observing the dynamics of dating and the way people interact at this level. As a new comer I feel I have a unique perspective. Im not partial to any point of view as such, Im just observing and from what I have seen in my first 10 months of being single I'd have this to say:Women definitely controll the sex scene. I think a study of statistics on this site would be a confirmation of this. Its equally obvious at parties, clubs and other social interactions. I would be surprised if men on this site received nearly the amount of views or messages as a woman of comparable looks and desires did. But I think the difference is the quality of the messages - I imagine a lot of the woman get messages that they would either totally ignore or be very uninterested in. Men tend to cast a broader net because they are aware of the fact that they have a lot more "noise" to compete with. I think there is a general perception from guys that woman dont value mens sexual needs and that men must first prove their ability to be thinking intently about fulfilling her desires before his desires will be entertained (if they ever are actually recognised - I think women in general are quite poor at thinking in detail about what their partner wants and how to effectively deliver that, when you find one that does tho, its an incredible experience)As far as relationships go Ive seen equality in numbers of men and woman leaving long term relationships but I think men are much more thought heavy in this area and will only break it off if they are seriously unhappy with multiple aspects of the relationshio. I think women have a much more positive attitude towards finding another partner than men do and this might translate to easier decision making when its not going well.A simple experiment you can do to observe this is go to a busy bar, find a quiet spot and start a tab (youll be here for a while) then watch whats happening. Ive done this a few times with friends and alone and its really interesting in a social perspective. I think of guys that are obviously single only about 20% or less will actually make clear signs to a girl that they are interested... rejection rates are high and they try to stay boyant even when this happens (but it isnt easy). Most guys after making one or 2 attemps will withdraw and then the attitude of the night tends to turn to being with their mates rather than looking for a partner. Ive only seen 2 occasions where a girl has approached a guy and generally I think they feel that they dont need to or dont want to be seen as needing to so they will only do this as a last resort. I think as well small groups of girls are more likely to actively approach a small group of guys rather than a single girl breaking from her group.Anyway those are just some thoughts and observations but its a great topic - very interesting :)LS.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I don't think it is a male/female thing but more about who is more involved in the relationship. He or she who cares least holds the power, they determine if and when there is sex, if and when there is a relationship. There is always an imbalance in power in a relationship, this changes over time, like a seesaw, but as long as each party remembers this, that they will be on the receiving end one day too, and treat each other with respect then everyone should feel appreciated and happier.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think he meant the imbalance between men wanting sex, and women also wanting it... Or perhaps that women are more likely to withhold sex for some reason.
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RHP User
14 years ago
i think women have a good idea when a relationship is going sour. Noone likes to get rejected so I would say they would probably end the relationship first because of this. Everyone likes sex, but guys are a bit more horny than girls, except me ofcourse.
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RHP User
14 years ago
This might seem like a good theory but it doesnt hold true I dont think... if a guy hasnt been with a girl in a while his performance will be shorter and less predictable than if he gets regular attention. For me personally if Im with my partner once a day or more its easy to go for hours on end... often she will stop before I do. If that is then stopped for a week or two and then started again it takes a day or two before Im back up there.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'LeoSteve'This is a topic Im really intersted in. I just ended a 13 year relationship of which 9 were married and now Im (for the first time in my life) observing the dynamics of dating and the way people interact at this level. As a new comer I feel I have a unique perspective. Im not partial to any point of view as such, Im just observing and from what I have seen in my first 10 months of being single I'd have this to say:Women definitely controll the sex scene. I think a study of statistics on this site would be a confirmation of this. Its equally obvious at parties, clubs and other social interactions. I would be surprised if men on this site received nearly the amount of views or messages as a woman of comparable looks and desires did. But I think the difference is the quality of the messages - I imagine a lot of the woman get messages that they would either totally ignore or be very uninterested in. Men tend to cast a broader net because they are aware of the fact that they have a lot more "noise" to compete with. I think there is a general perception from guys that woman dont value mens sexual needs and that men must first prove their ability to be thinking intently about fulfilling her desires before his desires will be entertained (if they ever are actually recognised - I think women in general are quite poor at thinking in detail about what their partner wants and how to effectively deliver that, when you find one that does tho, its an incredible experience)As far as relationships go Ive seen equality in numbers of men and woman leaving long term relationships but I think men are much more thought heavy in this area and will only break it off if they are seriously unhappy with multiple aspects of the relationshio. I think women have a much more positive attitude towards finding another partner than men do and this might translate to easier decision making when its not going well.A simple experiment you can do to observe this is go to a busy bar, find a quiet spot and start a tab (youll be here for a while) then watch whats happening. Ive done this a few times with friends and alone and its really interesting in a social perspective. I think of guys that are obviously single only about 20% or less will actually make clear signs to a girl that they are interested... rejection rates are high and they try to stay boyant even when this happens (but it isnt easy). Most guys after making one or 2 attemps will withdraw and then the attitude of the night tends to turn to being with their mates rather than looking for a partner. Ive only seen 2 occasions where a girl has approached a guy and generally I think they feel that they dont need to or dont want to be seen as needing to so they will only do this as a last resort. I think as well small groups of girls are more likely to actively approach a small group of guys rather than a single girl breaking from her group.Anyway those are just some thoughts and observations but its a great topic - very interesting :)LS. Well said! Though in regards to your bar situations...I have noticed that men do tend to shoot themselves in foot sometimes...In that they are so busy trying to get the 'hot chick' that they ignore the not so hot ones. Unless you are hot hot hot your self...To me it makes sense to go for the not so hot ones, who are still attractive! A few wknds ago we were at the pub. Now Im not a minger but Im not a stunner either. I dont expect to be everyones cup of tea but Im attractive in my own way. I went with 2 girls who are more attractive in the regular way. We were dancing there were some nice guys dancing with us...flirting & generally trying to work out whether they could get into our pants. The guys were definatly more focused on my mates...which was fine. But then an absolute stunner came in! She was gorgeous in the druken haze of the pub. Within 5 seconds she had about 7 guys dancing in a circle around her...including our 4. Now this isnt sour grapes...happily married & Im not gonna swing at my local pub...but just in terms of odds. I mean she will only take one of you home! Doesnt it make more sense to find a girl who isnt surrounded by 6 other men??!? Of course she left the dance floor with one...and our dancing partners returned. Which was fine cos I was only lookin for fun...but if I had been lookin for a fella to take home I would have told him to sod off. MrsH xx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'LeoSteve' I think women in general are quite poor at thinking in detail about what their partner wants and how to effectively deliver that, when you find one that does tho, its an incredible experience) Hello LeoSteve - what do you mean by that exactly?
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RHP User
14 years ago
But let me see if I can sort through this. Yes I think women are usually in charge of sex and it is sad but true that many women shut up shop (so to speak) after the wedding. Or at certain times in thier life. Sex becomes no longer important to them. There are some women who see sex as a controlling factor and will use this to thier advantage. Now I know the men are going to leap up and down here BUT truth is...they have two heads so no wonder the poor things (men) get so confused, they keep trying to think with the little head and not the big head. Poor dears and no wonder they are so easily lead! Men are more reserved? I think that when it comes to the second go around, men (not all) are not so much reserved as more wary of being hurt, trapped, burned again. They are not really the emotional bundles that us women tend to be (here again it is generalisations and not all) The fairer sex is in charge of the nest making and no nest is complete without a man to cluck over. The male of the species however, is normally quite happy to retreat to his man cave, emerging from time to time when the little head takes over all reasonable thoughts. I have found that men will stray from the nest and a long term relationship much more quickly than a woman. The woman likes to keep her little chicks safe and this will generally mean putting up with more than they should. In this case she will often use sex (or lack thereof) as a method to freeze the man out. If her emotions are not being met, sex is also gone. Hopefully both male and female are in charge of initiating a relationship and the breakdown of one. It does take two to tango and the fault is rarely, if ever, enitrely the responsibility of one of the couple. *NOTE* there are of course exceptions to the rules in all things and generalisations are not meant to mean all encompasiing.
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RHP User
14 years ago
obviously all situations are different and that is what makes the world go around and wouldn't life be boring if were all the same... almost moronic... just felt there was a high percentage of this to be the case and thanks for the feedback guys and gals... cheers (and no beers tonight!)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sex is the price women will pay for a relationship. A relationship is the price men will pay for sex.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Hello LeoSteve - what do you mean by that exactly? Hi Meeka100Well its hard not to generalise on a forum like this where broad topics are discussed and I realise that thats exactlly what Im doing. But bare with me :)I think through the nature of being male, and having to constantly be the one persuing interaction (at a first contact level) there is a lot more forward thought happening - men are forced to be proactive and this carries forward to sexual thought as much as it does to how to garner that initial interest of the cutie at the bar. Woman are in a position where they are reactive. The have more opportunity to asses and decide between a few choices but this hampers their learning of what it means to be proactive in a relational context. They dont need to learn that role.Take this now to the bedroom - for a guy, and Im speaking about myself here (but I dont think Im unusual) there is a lot of consideration put into how I treat my partner. Ill go to the effort of being cheeky with a few ice cubes or blindfolding and feathers... depending on her response maybe more than all of that... or all of it in one go :Pbut woman I think are far less likely to do those kinds of things.... men do them for one main reason and that is to see their partner gratified and having an amazing time. I dont think Im the only guy here that would say its never happened to me. Ive never had a woman that will spend a good deal of our time together making my experience something unique and interesting. Im not saying they wont necessarily do that... its just not in their innate way of thinking about how sex works.does that explain it?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'MrandMrsH'Well said! Though in regards to your bar situations...I have noticed that men do tend to shoot themselves in foot sometimes...In that they are so busy trying to get the 'hot chick' that they ignore the not so hot ones. Unless you are hot hot hot your self...To me it makes sense to go for the not so hot ones, who are still attractive! A few wknds ago we were at the pub. Now Im not a minger but Im not a stunner either. I dont expect to be everyones cup of tea but Im attractive in my own way. I went with 2 girls who are more attractive in the regular way. We were dancing there were some nice guys dancing with us...flirting & generally trying to work out whether they could get into our pants. The guys were definatly more focused on my mates...which was fine. But then an absolute stunner came in! She was gorgeous in the druken haze of the pub. Within 5 seconds she had about 7 guys dancing in a circle around her...including our 4. Now this isnt sour grapes...happily married & Im not gonna swing at my local pub...but just in terms of odds. I mean she will only take one of you home! Doesnt it make more sense to find a girl who isnt surrounded by 6 other men??!? Of course she left the dance floor with one...and our dancing partners returned. Which was fine cos I was only lookin for fun...but if I had been lookin for a fella to take home I would have told him to sod off. MrsH xx thanks for the comment :)I agree - many guys get caught in the headlights of physical beauty. But I for one will not go near a girl who has 7 guys around her and isnt making it clear to 6 of them that she is clearly not interested. I just dont like being in that situation and if a girl is entertaining that its not very attractive to me at all no matter how good looking she is. Thats not confidence on her part, its ego.I would hazzard a guess that the kinds of guys that would be in that group of 7 are probably on exactly her level and therefore they all probably belong there :PWhen I notice a girl at a bar or just out in general the first think I notice is usually her attitude... its a combination of her looks, dress and how she moves... thats one thing I site like this just cant tell you. I will know immediately when I see a person if I think they are sexy or not and it doesnt mean they have model looks. It means they have a rounded projection of character and style that I find sexy.
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RHP User
14 years ago
most guys are simple and too the point..iam horny. girls have moods and monthlys and kids and emotions going on..hence they seem to not want sex as much. and when your a horny guy, this may seem like control. b
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RHP User
14 years ago
It's either equal or it's going nowhere with me. If there is imbalance in your relationships or associations then you need to choose more wisely IMO.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'AdventureTime' most guys are simple and too the point..iam horny. girls have moods and monthlys and kids and emotions going on..hence they seem to not want sex as much. and when your a horny guy, this may seem like control. b thats an interesting way of putting it...the women have the kids???...if you are in a nice loving relationship wouldnt the man be helping with that??? i must be a guy cause my favourite three words are...I AM HORNY...plus i have moods and monthlys and kids and emotions going on...best of both worlds i guess roxxy
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hey LeoSteve - can I disagree with you there - you may be someone that thinks about your partner and how you can make it a more exciting experience; BUT NOT ALL MEN DO THAT!!!! Some are completely predictable & dare I say a little boring after awhile. And not all women just lie back and think of England either. Maybe it is because a lot of women like the male to take the more dominant role - ok well I like the male to take the more dominant role cause that turns me on. But I often take the initative and do what I like to him because I know he enjoys that too. But I definitely learn as I go and with the right guy I don't believe I have ever said no to something and I am more than happy to do whatever they like ;) Except for pain, but in general I am normally with guys who like similar type of things. So have to disagree with you there - Ladies is anyone with me???? xxx Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Although age would probably play a part in the way women are I think. The older you get the more confident you are and you become more in tune with your body and your lover. LeoSteve - I assume that you are meeting women around your own age so maybe that has something to do with your experiences so far??
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Hey LeoSteve - can I disagree with you there - you may be someone that thinks about your partner and how you can make it a more exciting experience; BUT NOT ALL MEN DO THAT!!!! Some are completely predictable & dare I say a little boring after awhile. And not all women just lie back and think of England either. Maybe it is because a lot of women like the male to take the more dominant role - ok well I like the male to take the more dominant role cause that turns me on. But I often take the initative and do what I like to him because I know he enjoys that too. But I definitely learn as I go and with the right guy I don't believe I have ever said no to something and I am more than happy to do whatever they like ;) Except for pain, but in general I am normally with guys who like similar type of things. So have to disagree with you there - Ladies is anyone with me???? xxx Meeka Totally agree Meeka.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I had an awesome experience being spoilt by two Bi boys recently.. Was satisfied many times over and couldn't get enough watching them play.. Sharing a cock with a guy is hot hot hot.. would recommend to all too shy to admit it, Boys you don't know what you are missing!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'with the right guy I don't believe I have ever said no to something and I am more than happy to do whatever they like ;) Except for pain, but in general I am normally with guys who like similar type of things. So have to disagree with you there - Ladies is anyone with me???? xxx Meeka After reading this again I underlined the bit that I think is relevant to my point - that statement assumes that they are the ones providing the content, youre then delivering it... (good on ya!)I guess what I was meaning is that I would like a female to come up with a scenario (the content) and act on it out of the blue rather than wait for me to show my hand and then they count the cards... Im not sure if Im explaining it well. unbutton my shirt, push me back onto the bed and tell me youre going to have me for dinner instead of the chicken I just cookedsomething like that...I havent ever heard of something so obvious happening to any of my mates but I do know that they have tried hard a few times with various girls and then either got depressed after trying with no reciprocation (and given up or moved on). I also have a few girls as close friends who have had guys go to all kinda of lengths to gain their attention some successful and others not so much... I should ask then about what they do in return or if they have ever gone to lengths to get the attention of a guy... have you? if so what did you do to snag him?
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RHP User
14 years ago
well LeoSteve - what you are saying is that you want to be seduced, ravished have the women take the lead and to do unspeakable things to your body. Maybe tie you up & blind fold you. Bring some other ladies in to play while your blind folded so that your whole body is covered in hands, lips & kisses..... I could go on but............ Don't know baby - are you man enough take it???????? Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' well LeoSteve - what you are saying is that you want to be seduced, ravished have the women take the lead and to do unspeakable things to your body. Maybe tie you up & blind fold you. Bring some other ladies in to play while your blind folded so that your whole body is covered in hands, lips & kisses..... I could go on but............ Don't know baby - are you man enough take it???????? Meeka Am I man enough to take it hehe... u bet ;) have you ever done something like that for a guy? has anyone here? do women in general fantasize about such things?Honestly, Im just not sure if there are that many women who would go to the effort of delivering something like that... I certainly havent met any... ever... if you think there are you have to tell me where they hang out... maybe its where you hang out? :PLS
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' well LeoSteve - what you are saying is that you want to be seduced, ravished have the women take the lead and to do unspeakable things to your body. Maybe tie you up & blind fold you. Bring some other ladies in to play while your blind folded so that your whole body is covered in hands, lips & kisses..... I could go on but............ Don't know baby - are you man enough take it???????? Meeka hang on... we were talking about guys in general... hehe you distracted me!I think any guy would enjoy something like that (the concept of being seduced and given an experience) and i would be surprised if many have ever experienced it..fellas... am I right?LS
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RHP User
14 years ago
I understand and agree (more or less) with your argument, though I may suggest that the girls of RHP are not really representative of the world at large when it comes to attitudes towards sex, much more fun here :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'sydneyboy3au' I understand and agree (more or less) with your argument, though I may suggest that the girls of RHP are not really representative of the world at large when it comes to attitudes towards sex, much more fun here :) yeah good point, but that raises and interesting question... what are the other women up to?Ladies! invite a friend ok?:PLS
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'LeoSteve' Am I man enough to take it hehe... u bet ;) have you ever done something like that for a guy? has anyone here? do women in general fantasize about such things?Honestly, Im just not sure if there are that many women who would go to the effort of delivering something like that... I certainly havent met any... ever... if you think there are you have to tell me where they hang out... maybe its where you hang out? :PLS Oh boy - are you hanging with the wrong girls!!! Of course girls fantasize about that it just not so easy to find the "other" girl. I think the perfect relationship for me would be a monogamous one cause that is just the way I am - but with the occassional FFM threesome. Oh and maybe other stuff too - will depend on whoever I end up with I guess. xxx Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
SydneyBoy and LeoSteve - what are you suggesting that most women are are boring in bed?? Well taken from what you have said above. Present women of RHP exclueded of course. Or just plain unadventurous? I admit I am probably in the middle I am definitely more "out there" than most of my friends but by RHP standards I am just a virgin child - definitely a vanilla girl in comparison to some!!! LOL. But have to say LeoSteve was a little offended at your suggestion that women are lazy / boring in bed. Yes I have had a FFM and keen for more Yes I have been to a couples club just to check it out Yes I have been tied up half naked and whipped in front of a huge crowd. Yes I like...... well I think I will stop there. And yes I want to continue exploring and trying new things. Just need the right lover who wants to do it with me. xxx Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'SWEETIEPIE2010'Meeka i think we should form a tag team of sorts, there are a few boys on my list i'd like to do that to Promise that you have "do" me first. LOL kisses Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Ooohh - can I be sub please. Or do we have to wait until Master is ready. .... xx Meeka PS - When you travel around with your bag of fun - what will you say if they want to check your bags at the airport???
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Oh boy - are you hanging with the wrong girls!!! Of course girls fantasize about that it just not so easy to find the "other" girl. I think the perfect relationship for me would be a monogamous one cause that is just the way I am - but with the occassional FFM threesome. Oh and maybe other stuff too - will depend on whoever I end up with I guess. xxx Meeka Again my point stands meeka :/Im not trying to offend, just wanting to point out how many guys feel I think. Well thats my hope.. that said;if guy was asked to organise one more guy for a MMF Im sure it would happen pretty quickly... but that wasnt my point really... just the likelyhood of women finding ways to blow their guys mind... the willingness and forethought to lead rather than follow the lead in the bedroom... not every night, but equally. The awareness they have of their partner...I think its rare...Now I might have had an unfortunate run or maybe youre right... am I in the wrong crowd?I just got back to melbourne after 3 years of travel so it s a good time to find a new crowd too...Melbourne people... where should I be finding like minded peeps like you!?LS(p.s. totally agree - monogamy with a little extra is the way to go)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'SWEETIEPIE2010' Meeka i think we should form a tag team of sorts, there are a few boys on my list i'd like to do that to I will be your test subject! :Pno doubt your inbox went crazy already tho... sigh...LS
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RHP User
14 years ago
If us ladies are so damn boring in bed then the answer is just simple. Bat for the other team! Problem solved! After all, if you are blindfolded and handcuffed, a mouth is a mouth and a hand is just a hand.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee'If us ladies are so damn boring in bed then the answer is just simple. Bat for the other team! Problem solved! After all, if you are blindfolded and handcuffed, a mouth is a mouth and a hand is just a hand. Fiona you spoilt the surprise ! He was supposed to find out about "Bob" after the blind fold came off !
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sorry Meeka.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' PS - When you travel around with your bag of fun - what will you say if they want to check your bags at the airport??? Hahaha Good question.....I can just picture the thoughts going through security's mind!!! lol who know...one of them might have to take you (and your bag of indispensable items) for a strip search ;-) Meeka & Sweetie...wow what a team! I rekon you could sell tickets to all the forum goers Mrs H xx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'LeoSteve' Quoting 'Meeka100' Hello LeoSteve - what do you mean by that exactly? Take this now to the bedroom - for a guy, and Im speaking about myself here (but I dont think Im unusual) there is a lot of consideration put into how I treat my partner. Ill go to the effort of being cheeky with a few ice cubes or blindfolding and feathers... depending on her response maybe more than all of that... or all of it in one go :Pbut woman I think are far less likely to do those kinds of things.... men do them for one main reason and that is to see their partner gratified and having an amazing time. I dont think Im the only guy here that would say its never happened to me. Ive never had a woman that will spend a good deal of our time together making my experience something unique and interesting. Im not saying they wont necessarily do that... its just not in their innate way of thinking about how sex works.does that explain it? Wow, I would really have to say from a gals perspective, well my persepective, that I find its the guys that are usually lacking in creativity and consideration for their playmates desires - or rather, I think the level of consideration is on par with how involved he is with her - guys who are there for a "good time" wouldn't see the real benefits from investing alot into a short term situation (maybe just enough to have a mutual good time), but guys who want to stick around will generally up the ante.... as they know its a win win situation... but I am sure there are lots of lovers out there, guys and girls who are like that.... Creativity Economists!! damn!
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RHP User
14 years ago
my intention was really not to paint you all with one brush,just alert you to how guys perceive the act of initiating something and what it means.Ive obviously said too much and Im sorry if I have offended. Really wasnt what I set out to do. Just wanted to make the point that proactivity is a rare and sought after thing. And I think sydneyboy3au made the point that RHP girls are probably not the ones that need to hear that anyway... I agreedI'll take my cue. Thanks for listening (putting up) with meLS.PS. just for the record... if the blind fold came off and it was a guy and my lady doing the handy work... I might be surprised but I definitely wouldnt let them leave ;)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'LeoSteve' hang on... we were talking about guys in general... hehe you distracted me!I think any guy would enjoy something like that (the concept of being seduced and given an experience) and i would be surprised if many have ever experienced it..fellas... am I right?LS not even close buddy. have experienced 'it' and I assume you mean being spoiled, seduced and generally treated to a right old feast of female flesh and rumpy-pumpy, not just with my wife, but with my previous 'long-term' girlfriend and first wife before her. am guessing u may have rolled in something unsavory at some stage. i'm fast becoming an 'old codger' and seem to have no troubles eliciting this sort of play from my ladies...........
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel'not even close buddy. have experienced 'it' and I assume you mean being spoiled, seduced and generally treated to a right old feast of female flesh and rumpy-pumpy, not just with my wife, but with my previous 'long-term' girlfriend and first wife before her. am guessing u may have rolled in something unsavory at some stage. i'm fast becoming an 'old codger' and seem to have no troubles eliciting this sort of play from my ladies........... Youre a lucky guy mike, I hope I fall into that sooner or later... like I said.. Im speaking from my personal exp. and the stories Ive heard at the card table from mates etc etc.Its encouraging to know its out there :Pwhat do you look for in a girl? (you obviously get it right :P)curious tho:am guessing u may have rolled in something unsavory at some stage.what did you mean by that?LS
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'MissSuziWong'Wow, I would really have to say from a gals perspective, well my persepective, that I find its the guys that are usually lacking in creativity and consideration for their playmates desires - or rather, I think the level of consideration is on par with how involved he is with her - guys who are there for a "good time" wouldn't see the real benefits from investing alot into a short term situation (maybe just enough to have a mutual good time), but guys who want to stick around will generally up the ante.... as they know its a win win situation... but I am sure there are lots of lovers out there, guys and girls who are like that.... Creativity Economists!! damn! we should get together and surprise eachother sometime :PI tend to do the opposite... figure the first night is the one where you get to discover how the other ticks and I enjoy that process so I generally make it count no matter what I view the long term prospects to be.Creativity Economists! - love the phrase, well said :)LS
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RHP User
14 years ago
it really depends on the woman... Have been with some women that cant get enough and hey did I have a smile on my face for a long time! and then have been with women that think all they need to do is lay down and spread their legs. I am a man that likes to spend time before the actual act and then spend time afterwards if both aren't too exhausted! Steve you just need to keep trying mate. and I think all women would a agree, that communication is the key... have you ever talked about this with a woman that you are really into and she into you? find we are both willing to do to the other person to satisfy them on many levels.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel' not even close buddy. have experienced 'it' and I assume you mean being spoiled, seduced and generally treated to a right old feast of female flesh and rumpy-pumpy, not just with my wife, but with my previous 'long-term' girlfriend and first wife before her. am guessing u may have rolled in something unsavory at some stage. i'm fast becoming an 'old codger' and seem to have no troubles eliciting this sort of play from my ladies........... Youre a lucky man mike! its encouraging to here that its out there ;)I wasnt specificly speaking about threesomes or more, just a general thought pattern I find in most of the women I have been with... I seriously hope that one day I can share your view tho! thanks for sharing your observation. What do you look for in a woman? youre obviously getting it right :Dcurious tho:am guessing u may have rolled in something unsavory at some stage.what did you mean by that?LS
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'LeoSteve' Quoting 'mikeandshel'not even close buddy. have experienced 'it' and I assume you mean being spoiled, seduced and generally treated to a right old feast of female flesh and rumpy-pumpy, not just with my wife, but with my previous 'long-term' girlfriend and first wife before her. am guessing u may have rolled in something unsavory at some stage. i'm fast becoming an 'old codger' and seem to have no troubles eliciting this sort of play from my ladies........... Youre a lucky guy mike, I hope I fall into that sooner or later... like I said.. Im speaking from my personal exp. and the stories Ive heard at the card table from mates etc etc.Its encouraging to know its out there :Pwhat do you look for in a girl? (you obviously get it right :P)curious tho:am guessing u may have rolled in something unsavory at some stage.what did you mean by that?LS lol dont think i 'got it right'. i just got lucky is all. where I am now though, is where I always wanted to be. we have a special bond, but then we have known each other for 35 years. we talk, probably more than most, and got to know each other as people way before we became a couple.curious tho:am guessing u may have rolled in something unsavory at some stage.what did you mean by that?I meant that sometimes luck, good or bad, rubs off on us. maybe somewhere you picked up some bad luck. just one of my quirks i guess, i say things in strange, obtuse ways.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'TopeDeckCouple' A man can choose a woman, but a woman will choose the man who will win her. Women will say yes to the one they want as the man in their lives, whether it be for a night or for a relationship. All men really do is sell themselves and show what they have that makes them shine as a potential suitor. Were a bunch of animals when it comes down to it! Jose! I like the way you think :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
well, what all my life I had been aware is that women are always on top, they decide when to start and when to stop,when is yes and when is no, we men with all the macho stuff,are only putty on their hands,just sucking up to what we can get
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel' Quoting 'LeoSteve' Quoting 'mikeandshel'not even close buddy. have experienced 'it' and I assume you mean being spoiled, seduced and generally treated to a right old feast of female flesh and rumpy-pumpy, not just with my wife, but with my previous 'long-term' girlfriend and first wife before her. am guessing u may have rolled in something unsavory at some stage. i'm fast becoming an 'old codger' and seem to have no troubles eliciting this sort of play from my ladies........... Youre a lucky guy mike, I hope I fall into that sooner or later... like I said.. Im speaking from my personal exp. and the stories Ive heard at the card table from mates etc etc.Its encouraging to know its out there :Pwhat do you look for in a girl? (you obviously get it right :P)curious tho:am guessing u may have rolled in something unsavory at some stage.what did you mean by that?LS lol dont think i 'got it right'. i just got lucky is all. where I am now though, is where I always wanted to be. we have a special bond, but then we have known each other for 35 years. we talk, probably more than most, and got to know each other as people way before we became a couple.curious tho:am guessing u may have rolled in something unsavory at some stage.what did you mean by that?I meant that sometimes luck, good or bad, rubs off on us. maybe somewhere you picked up some bad luck. just one of my quirks i guess, i say things in strange, obtuse ways. I just wanted to say, I really enjoyed all your views on this topic. LS; From my understanding guys of your nature are few and far between and hard to come across. In turn, so is the type of partner you seek. Speaking from my own personal experience I have to say, I agree in whole with pretty much everything you have said. It may sound cliche but, hang in there most of us hope and cling to the fact the hopefully the "one" will find us or we will find them. ~ I also really enjoyed reading your social experiments, I have conducted similar experiments over drinks with some very close friends and have come up with similar results. Pertaining, to the topic at hand. I believe the most men & women are equally as emotionally retarded as the next. However, apart from the lovely ladies here and the few I have been lucky to become close friends with. I find that generally speaking women hold the "dominate" role in most relationships "behind the scenes" whereas the male is generally seen as the more "dominate" in social settings once a relationship has been established.. There is so much I want to add but I think I'll leave it at this for now. "..and got to know each other as people way before we became a couple." ~ This reminds me of something my mother used to tell me growing up as a boy :- Corny, I know but bare with me. I think that any good relationship, especially the ones I have had start with a very strong friendship/trust/communication base. Evidence to back this - My parents ( still together after 15 + years of me giving them hell. ) and.. the fact that I'm still friendly with most of my ex's... Just my Two cents.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I tend to think the man is more in control of the sex, especially if he is a confident male and is hitting the right numbers with a woman. Women like that and are more likely to be conjucive to sex in those circumstances. They like to be led though not always, there are some who like to be the predator and feel out of control if a male tries to lead. Depends entirely on the personalities at play. Some very dominate women in general life just want a guy to lead, and take them. As for a relationship I feel that the male is also in control as it is from my experience that a woman want's a relationship and committment where a male is just after company, some fun and laughs. Just my thrippance worth.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Huge generalisation but I think your friend may be right in that most men would not break up a long term relationship. Not sure why that is?? I too am going to do a HUGE generalisation, or two.. I think they men stay because they get comfortable..They have full time jobs and generally are allowed out to socialise with their mates (fishing, drags etc, which a lot of women don't want to do, I'm not one of them) and it's usually the woman who only works part time or not at all, so is socially excluded a little, plus having the kids..They get bored and are more likely to look for an out.. So in that way they are in charge of ending it all..I know when I left my partner, of 7 1/2 years, my reasoning was that "If I have to do it all by myself I may as well be by myself".. (he worked all day, then spent half the night in his shed playin with his cars or havin a beer with his mates..) I was bored and sick of keeping the place together..As for starting it..Hmmm... Men start, I reckon.. I think a lot of us women, even if we say we aren't, are still a bit old fashioned in that way.. Altho I can honestly say I haven't had anyone ask me if I wanna date them since high school.. For me it just kinda morphs from one night out to another into something permanent, unspoken as it were..
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Hazee' Quoting 'Meeka100' Huge generalisation but I think your friend may be right in that most men would not break up a long term relationship. Not sure why that is?? I too am going to do a HUGE generalisation, or two.. I think they men stay because they get comfortable..They have full time jobs and generally are allowed out to socialise with their mates (fishing, drags etc, which a lot of women don't want to do, I'm not one of them) and it's usually the woman who only works part time or not at all, so is socially excluded a little, plus having the kids..They get bored and are more likely to look for an out.. So in that way they are in charge of ending it all..I know when I left my partner, of 7 1/2 years, my reasoning was that "If I have to do it all by myself I may as well be by myself".. (he worked all day, then spent half the night in his shed playin with his cars or havin a beer with his mates..) I was bored and sick of keeping the place together..As for starting it..Hmmm... Men start, I reckon.. I think a lot of us women, even if we say we aren't, are still a bit old fashioned in that way.. Altho I can honestly say I haven't had anyone ask me if I wanna date them since high school.. For me it just kinda morphs from one night out to another into something permanent, unspoken as it were.. sorry you met a guy like that. not all men prefer their beer swilling, big talking , ball scratching, drag racing wanker mates to their wife or girlfriend. not all of us still live our lives as adolescents in an adult body. for me, my best friend is my wife.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Thanks Mike and yeah I know they aren't but hey it's part of life.. You grow and move on..My partner after him was awesome.. he too was my best friend, there was no boss.. We both just seemed to know what the other wanted n it all kinda flowed nicely.. Congrats to you and your wife.. may you have many many happy yearsBxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
an update.. we had lunch yesterday and he been seeing a woman and she wanted him to move in... to quick I think and he said no and didn't want a relationship with her!!! I laughed and reminded him of our convo a couple of weeks ago! a huge serve of humble pie was ordered...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'abcdefg8' well, what all my life I had been aware is that women are always on top, they decide when to start and when to stop,when is yes and when is no, we men with all the macho stuff,are only putty on their hands,just sucking up to what we can get The stereo type of how men are (macho, providing, emotionless, sex driven) is based on an out dated social construct I think. Im actually writing a paper on this very topic and hence my input into this particular thread... its really interesting. (I dont study it or anything... just want to explore it)Men these days, in general, have the capacity to be a lot more caring and thoughtful that what they were 80 years ago. I think its due to seeing how femanism helped females find a sense of self worth and self assertion. That has totally changed the landscape for men in a lot of ways and I really think its something that needs to be explored and understood. There is a lot we can learn from how women have dealt with femanist philosophy (for and against) and apply it to ourselves (i.e. have a sence of self worth, question and seek to understand your own value and place in the world etc etc) for femanists it was focussed on the world around them, thats what they had been denied and desperately wanted to be a more significant influence on. For men tho its the opposite. We know how our external workd works, we know about careers, about industry, about government, about the objects of daily life but we dont have a very good sence of self. We dont know why we feel so conflicted in so many ways when we are being told "what a man is" as we grow up but seeing everywhere the success of doing the opposite (i.e. women want a thinking caring man etc) We are constantly held in conflict.I think a lot of how women deal with men currently is born from femanist thought... the sense of being guarded around men and having to be diligent with them in order understand an manipulate the way that men think (i.e. dont wear that he will think you just want sex) The problem tho is that thought screening doesnt help men mature into anything other than the stereotypical male that femanism was trying so hard to push against. Men with that sense of self and an understanding of who they are and why they are important to women and the world around them behave very differently and I would argue are more likely to have long term happiness in their lives (based on their ability to make more considered decisions that reflect the true nature of who they are as people rather than being conflicted by stereotypes and social norms) Can you tell I like the topic? lolI could go on but I think youre probably falling asleep.LS
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RHP User
14 years ago
You think too much. As far as I am concerned men dont think about this stuff at all - feeling conflicted and what women want, etc. But then again I could be wrong. As for feeling guarded around men and manipulating the way men think. Not so sure about that. I think women over think everything to death and men don't think about this stuff at all. Which drive women crazy because we think that you are thinking and manipulating us when in reality you are probably just wondering when you can have the next beer or when does the footy start. You forget women can be very conflicted too LS. We are taught that to find a mate who will actually stick around for the long haul and be serious about you, you have to be a good girl - ok not virginal obviously in this day and age. But you can't be a whore / slut or whatever you want to call it. You yourself mention that you can't find women to take the lead sexually and play games with feathers or icecubes I think you said. Yet in another post you mention that you could never be serious about a women who participates in a gang bang. Ok that maybe a litte extreme but you yourself clearly show that men & society give mixed signals about this stuff. Women to find a mate we need to be good - but these days to get your attention we need to be very bad (lol) so what is a gal to do?? I am sure every species manipulates or uses aggression or visual cues in some form to attract a mate I don't think this is something you can attribute to the feminist movement. Now all the above is from my own perspective and yes I read alot of feminist books when I was younger and women's rights was always a big thing for me. I am also generation X so my perspective on being a good girl to attract a man is probabaly outdated when you talk to the younger crowd. Oh and something I should mention - I was brought up in a catholic school and had a strict Italian daddy. Oh well I suppose their dogma can't work on everybody. LOL. Anyway just my perspective. xxx Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'LeoSteve'Men these days, in general, have the capacity to be a lot more caring and thoughtful that what they were 80 years ago. I think its due to seeing how femanism helped females find a sense of self worth and self assertion. That has totally changed the landscape for men in a lot of ways and I really think its something that needs to be explored and understood. Ah, there was so much good stuff in there that I cut - I fear that if we get too in-depth, it might just get out of control. First one for Meeka - you're definitely wrong, as men do think about this stuff too."Capacity" isn't the best choice of words - I think "opportunity" might be more appropriate. The way men behave is shaped by the norms of society at the time. Like most movements that promote equality and fairness, acceptance is conditional on a nett gain for all of society, not just the minority initiating it. This was a critical factor for feminism, just as it was for the variety of racial movements that have succeeded - it wasn't that the white majority wanted to give something for nothing to the black minority, it was that they knew they had to address the issues in order to maintain a fair and healthy society.Feminism provided men with the means to change the way they treated women without losing face. Don't get me wrong - to their absolute credit, feminism was initiated by, argued, fought and won by women. It did provide men with an opportunity to explore a deeper and more gentle approach to dealing with women and although many didn't take up the chance, many did. The stereotypical hardcore male was a tough role - far more difficult than many may think. Imagine standing at the casket of your child consumed by the thought that people might think less of you if you cried. That kind of scene was played out untold millions of times before men were given the freedom to express feelings. That we cannot get to the levels of emotionality that women can need not be a matter of concern, as we're fundamentally different. If you want to measure yourself for emotional tuning, do so against other men, because you won't ever catch up to women - none of us will.Although parts of feminism were arguably (and perhaps inevitably) hijacked by more radical thinkers, on the whole I believe that men and women should be very appreciative of the overall outcome. We got a better society as well as the opportunity to take something out of it for our individual selves. What each of us does with that is our own responsibility.
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RHP User
14 years ago
been awhile since I have had someone in my life which is by choice.... for all sorts of reasons... now ready to put myself out in the market again.. knees tremble.. cause I am ready it goes back to me saying about in control of a relationship.. in the last year I have met some lovely ladies, who had I been ready would have been great potential.... but just wasn't interested in taking it any further at that time..
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' You think too much.not possible As far as I am concerned men dont think about this stuff at all - feeling conflicted and what women want, etc. But then again I could be wrong. I think every man has at some point in their lives thought for quite a long time on this internally - that their actions are not getting the results they feel they should be allowed to have - but as we grow up as men we are never encouraged to nurture, discuss or understand it. We are told to man up and move on. As for feeling guarded around men and manipulating the way men think. Not so sure about that. I think women over think everything to death and men don't think about this stuff at all. Which drive women crazy because we think that you are thinking and manipulating us when in reality you are probably just wondering when you can have the next beer or when does the footy start.Again I think men are never really invited to explore their thoughts in this area... as a young man or teen if you are seen to be spending a lot of time thinking about this stuff there is a lot of social pressure to not "be a girl" and the thought process gets shut down as a result. We also dont have nearly the amount of resources in society to deal with these questions without judgement or ridicule (young girls have a plethora of magazines, websites, peer groups, role models that encourage exploration of not only your body but also your ways of thinking about self worth and how that relates to the opposite sex etc) You forget women can be very conflicted too LS. We are taught that to find a mate who will actually stick around for the long haul and be serious about you, you have to be a good girl - ok not virginal obviously in this day and age. But you can't be a whore / slut or whatever you want to call it. You yourself mention that you can't find women to take the lead sexually and play games with feathers or icecubes I think you said. Yet in another post you mention that you could never be serious about a women who participates in a gang bang. Ok that maybe a litte extreme but you yourself clearly show that men & society give mixed signals about this stuff yeah massive difference there, taking the sexual lead as a woman is a scaleable concept, it relates to interaction on a personal level where you as an individual want your partner to have a great experience (inside or outside of a relationship) so you take steps to make it happen for them, a selfless act in some ways - making effort for their enjoyment alone. ... A gang bang on the other hand... purely selfish sexual gratification in my view and not very scalable at all... . Women to find a mate we need to be good - but these days to get your attention we need to be very bad (lol) so what is a gal to do?? I dont think you need to be bad... its about attitude... If you are confident and willing to talk to a guy that has approached you rather than shut him down immediately (it does happen) then it shows you are at least considerate. If you actually make an approach and start talking to a guy (any guy) I guarentee you you will get a few minutes of conversation in which time you can assess further if he is worth talking to more or not. Those small gestures will get you a LOT of attention from the guy involved. I am sure every species manipulates or uses aggression or visual cues in some form to attract a mate I don't think this is something you can attribute to the feminist movement.Youre right, thats nature but femanism shaped a great deal of how modern women think in this respect. I dont think thats bad... there are a lot of great things that came from it... but it is worth being aware of. Men need to be given model by which they can think about how this has impacted the way that we view the world and then learn what behaviours work and what ones dont in order to progress from the outdated mach stereo type I mentioned earlier. Now all the above is from my own perspective and yes I read alot of feminist books when I was younger and women's rights was always a big thing for me. I am also generation X so my perspective on being a good girl to attract a man is probabaly outdated when you talk to the younger crowd. Oh and something I should mention - I was brought up in a catholic school and had a strict Italian daddy. Oh well I suppose their dogma can't work on everybody. LOL. Anyway just my perspective. xxx Meeka thanks for reading and replying :)nice to hear your perspectives!LS
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' Quoting 'LeoSteve'Men these days, in general, have the capacity to be a lot more caring and thoughtful that what they were 80 years ago. I think its due to seeing how femanism helped females find a sense of self worth and self assertion. That has totally changed the landscape for men in a lot of ways and I really think its something that needs to be explored and understood. Ah, there was so much good stuff in there that I cut - I fear that if we get too in-depth, it might just get out of control. First one for Meeka - you're definitely wrong, as men do think about this stuff too."Capacity" isn't the best choice of words - I think "opportunity" might be more appropriate. The way men behave is shaped by the norms of society at the time. Like most movements that promote equality and fairness, acceptance is conditional on a nett gain for all of society, not just the minority initiating it. This was a critical factor for feminism, just as it was for the variety of racial movements that have succeeded - it wasn't that the white majority wanted to give something for nothing to the black minority, it was that they knew they had to address the issues in order to maintain a fair and healthy society.Feminism provided men with the means to change the way they treated women without losing face. Don't get me wrong - to their absolute credit, feminism was initiated by, argued, fought and won by women. It did provide men with an opportunity to explore a deeper and more gentle approach to dealing with women and although many didn't take up the chance, many did. The stereotypical hardcore male was a tough role - far more difficult than many may think. Imagine standing at the casket of your child consumed by the thought that people might think less of you if you cried. That kind of scene was played out untold millions of times before men were given the freedom to express feelings. That we cannot get to the levels of emotionality that women can need not be a matter of concern, as we're fundamentally different. If you want to measure yourself for emotional tuning, do so against other men, because you won't ever catch up to women - none of us will.Although parts of feminism were arguably (and perhaps inevitably) hijacked by more radical thinkers, on the whole I believe that men and women should be very appreciative of the overall outcome. We got a better society as well as the opportunity to take something out of it for our individual selves. What each of us does with that is our own responsibility. brilliant.And yes - opportunity is a much better word for what I was trying to express.thank you!LS
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RHP User
14 years ago
are you sure men think about all this stuff im with Meeka..i think your wrong too cause id hate to think they think about all this stuff and willingly fuck you over roxxy...going wrong somewhere
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RHP User
14 years ago
Snowshoe - having the levels of emotionality that women have is not all it is cracked up to be !!! Believe me!! It is one of the things I love about men (and also the thing that would drive girls crazy too) is that you can leave emotions out of things, that men don't take things personally, that men don't over think EVERYTHING TO FUCKING DEATH like we do. You are the lucky ones there. Yes I am generalising to a certain degree but I still think overall what I am saying is right. Isn't it????? Quoting Snowshoe.... That we cannot get to the levels of emotionality that women can need not be a matter of concern, as we're fundamentally different. If you want to measure yourself for emotional tuning, do so against other men, because you won't ever catch up to women - none of us will.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'LeoSteve' Quoting 'Meeka100' You forget women can be very conflicted too LS. We are taught that to find a mate who will actually stick around for the long haul and be serious about you, you have to be a good girl - ok not virginal obviously in this day and age. But you can't be a whore / slut or whatever you want to call it. You yourself mention that you can't find women to take the lead sexually and play games with feathers or icecubes I think you said. Yet in another post you mention that you could never be serious about a women who participates in a gang bang. Ok that maybe a litte extreme but you yourself clearly show that men & society give mixed signals about this stuff yeah massive difference there, taking the sexual lead as a woman is a scaleable concept, it relates to interaction on a personal level where you as an individual want your partner to have a great experience (inside or outside of a relationship) so you take steps to make it happen for them, a selfless act in some ways - making effort for their enjoyment alone. ... A gang bang on the other hand... purely selfish sexual gratification in my view and not very scalable at all... I am still having problem with what you are saying here with men and women and sex. Is it really a selfless act? Giving my lover pleasure gives me enormous pleasure. And how is a women taking the lead sexually a scaleable concept exactly? What are you saying?? That you have not had a women do these things for you? But that comes back to my point about what women are taught about how they should act around a man, etc. I don't get it what is wrong with purely selfish gratification? I guess I just don't understand how you are applying this scaleability concept. What does this mean? Seems to me like you have double standards there LeoSteve!!!! Women to find a mate we need to be good - but these days to get your attention we need to be very bad (lol) so what is a gal to do?? I dont think you need to be bad... its about attitude... If you are confident and willing to talk to a guy that has approached you rather than shut him down immediately (it does happen) then it shows you are at least considerate. If you actually make an approach and start talking to a guy (any guy) I guarentee you you will get a few minutes of conversation in which time you can assess further if he is worth talking to more or not. Those small gestures will get you a LOT of attention from the guy involved. I admit I rarely meet a guy were I think yeap got to have him - but believe me when I want someone they are in no doubts about it. I am pretty shameless and I am not backwards in coming forwards there. Shame it doesn't really happen to me much. (that is uncontroleable lust ;) I am sure every species manipulates or uses aggression or visual cues in some form to attract a mate I don't think this is something you can attribute to the feminist movement.Youre right, thats nature but femanism shaped a great deal of how modern women think in this respect. I dont think thats bad... there are a lot of great things that came from it... but it is worth being aware of. Men need to be given model by which they can think about how this has impacted the way that we view the world and then learn what behaviours work and what ones dont in order to progress from the outdated mach stereo type I mentioned earlier. Yep and again it comes back to the men. I find it amusing in a way that you and Snowshoe have made the feminist movement about men and how you have benefited from it. (But I say that in a nice way though ) as I can see how it has also released men from the old traditional roles. I do like that. And I love that a man can show emotions - I feel that it shows me how strong a man is Definitely HOT! In summation - LeoSteve you are defintely sending out mixed signals about what you expect from women and about what is acceptable to you and what is not. And I am taking this from other things you have said on other threads as well. Just like a man - wadda ya mean????????????? xxxx Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'In summation - LeoSteve you are defintely sending out mixed signals about what you expect from women and about what is acceptable to you and what is not. And I am taking this from other things you have said on other threads as well. Just like a man - wadda ya mean????????????? xxxx Meeka ok... my points are these:1) While growing up men dont get the same level of support that women do in engaging, developing and learning about their emotional selves and how this relates to interacting with women. This results in a social perception of men being 1 dimensional but its not the case. Not all men realise this (the problem is that bad, the stereotype that engrained) and feel conflicted when they are behaving in a stereotypical fashion (as taught) but getting no results. Its easy for men in general to feel rejected as a result but to not really have a good understanding why, so they blame women for being shallow or rude instead of questioning what it is about their circumstance that could maybe mature.2) Men are growing weary of ongoing rejection and therefore appreciate when women are more forward at the first point of contact and in circumstances that make men feel like they are being valued sexually. That doesnt mean we think you all need to attend gang bangs to be sexy. It can scale from 1st contact through to instances within a long term relationship by effort on the females part to regularly take the lead and deliver something exciting and sexy to their man for the sole purpose of giving him a good time (men are not exempt from making this effort too)3) Femanisim has provided a model of how the discussion of self worth can be explored and implemented. The femanist movement raised a huge amount of information for women. It helped educate women on their sense of self worth and the potential they had to play a greater role in society. This was incredibly valuable and the changes that it brought about are now the staple of how women perceive the world. These changes impacted men too. The world as men knew it changed in the work place, at home, in relationships and the media. However men have not managed to yet define these changes or their impacts in a widely recognised way. The discussion of how this is possible needs to take place so that men might better understand how to exist within the post femanist world. Its a complex discussion but not one that I think is self contradictory or contradictory to my behaviour as a whole.LS
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'In summation - LeoSteve you are defintely sending out mixed signals about what you expect from women and about what is acceptable to you and what is not. And I am taking this from other things you have said on other threads as well. Just like a man - wadda ya mean????????????? xxxx Meeka ok... my points are these: 1) While growing up men dont get the same level of support that women do in engaging, developing and learning about their emotional selves and how this relates to interacting with women. This results in a social perception of men being 1 dimensional but its not the case. Not all men realise this (the problem is that bad, the stereotype that engrained) and feel conflicted when they are behaving in a stereotypical fashion (as taught) but getting no results. Its easy for men in general to feel rejected as a result but to not really have a good understanding why, so they blame women for being shallow or rude instead of questioning what it is about their circumstance that could maybe mature. 2) Men are growing weary of ongoing rejection and therefore appreciate when women are more forward at the first point of contact and in circumstances that make men feel like they are being valued sexually. That doesnt mean we think you all need to attend gang bangs to be sexy. It can scale from 1st contact through to instances within a long term relationship by effort on the females part to regularly take the lead and deliver something exciting and sexy to their man for the sole purpose of giving him a good time (men are not exempt from making this effort too) 3) Femanisim has provided a model of how the discussion of self worth can be explored and implemented. The femanist movement raised a huge amount of information for women. It helped educate women on their sense of self worth and the potential they had to play a greater role in society. This was incredibly valuable and the changes that it brought about are now the staple of how women perceive the world. These changes impacted men too. The world as men knew it changed in the work place, at home, in relationships and the media. However men have not managed to yet define these changes or their impacts in a widely recognised way. The discussion of how this is possible needs to take place so that men might better understand how to exist within the post femanist world. Its a complex discussion but not one that I think is self contradictory or contradictory to my behaviour as a whole. LS
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Snowshoe - having the levels of emotionality that women have is not all it is cracked up to be !!! Believe me!! It is one of the things I love about men (and also the thing that would drive girls crazy too) is that you can leave emotions out of things, that men don't take things personally, that men don't over think EVERYTHING TO FUCKING DEATH like we do. You're quite right and I certainly do appreciate the simplicity that comes with being a man. I guess what at least some men and women are striving for is a shift toward the centre, where men aren't required to be emotionally hardcore and women are able to be... less complex in their analysis. Unfortunately for you I think that it's easier for men to move than women, but that's another topic...
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RHP User
14 years ago
well said babe men hold the power when it comes to taking things to the next level and they definately with hold it at every opportunity anything to make sure they keep getting their's.
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RHP User
14 years ago
once a woamn has what she wants - kids, a house, respectabilty and status of being married, a steady income from her husband - she doesn't need him anymore: the courts will give her the house and the kids and a big free income: and she no longer has to cook big meals for hubby, share the bed, go on her back for him, and she's at last fully master/mistress of the domain. WATCH IT, GUYS.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'blokeperth02' once a woamn has what she wants - kids, a house, respectabilty and status of being married, a steady income from her husband - she doesn't need him anymore: the courts will give her the house and the kids and a big free income: and she no longer has to cook big meals for hubby, share the bed, go on her back for him, and she's at last fully master/mistress of the domain. WATCH IT, GUYS. Not all blokeperth02. I am sorry that you had to go through that but many of us women get shafted as well in life and love and many of us just simply choose not to get married in the first place. Where is the respecability and the status in getting married? The courts do not "give" her the house, the kids and a big income at all. Children cannot be given away to start with. They are not little pets. News flash.....she never HAD to cook big meals for her husband nor did she have to share the bed or go on her back for him. (boring sex life if that is all it was anyway) She CHOSE TO do these things. She was always Mistress of her domain...you just did not realise it and therefore you lost her. I find your attitude just a little judgemental and outdated.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'blokeperth02' once a woamn has what she wants - kids, a house, respectabilty and status of being married, a steady income from her husband - she doesn't need him anymore: the courts will give her the house and the kids and a big free income: and she no longer has to cook big meals for hubby, share the bed, go on her back for him, and she's at last fully master/mistress of the domain. WATCH IT, GUYS. think you have that all wrong.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Have read somewhere that it is the person with the lowest libido that controls the sex. Reason being it takes two yes's to get any action. And like 'chilloutdude' I had no option when she decided the relationship was over. Again it takes two people for something to work, and at any stage either one can kill the relationship.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I was with my ex for 16 years. Married for 14 (nearly 15 of them) with one child (3 year old). She was in total control of sex and all emotion. Which is why it eventually fizzled out. There's only so much you can put up with, and after 10+ years of misery I finally got out. I guess I couldn't wait 6-12 months for sex each time she was ready for it. I've now been lucky enough for fate to bump me into the most Beautiful Angel, which I am forever grateful for and have never looked back. Sometimes fate can deal us a cruel blow and you think was it all worth it? Well, in the time I've known Angel, I know more about her and have connected with her on a very spiritual level that I ever did in a 16 year relationship. I love you Angel :-) "Fuer Immer und Ewig"
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Tyrian29' Have read somewhere that it is the person with the lowest libido that controls the sex. Reason being it takes two yes's to get any action. And like 'chilloutdude' I had no option when she decided the relationship was over. Again it takes two people for something to work, and at any stage either one can kill the relationship. women tell us men some 2 years in advance that the relationships in trouble. problem is most guys never hear them.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel' women tell us men some 2 years in advance that the relationships in trouble. problem is most guys never hear them. Huh? I spent years telling my ex that our relationship was in trouble, so I'm not going to pay that one...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' Quoting 'mikeandshel' women tell us men some 2 years in advance that the relationships in trouble. problem is most guys never hear them. Huh? I spent years telling my ex that our relationship was in trouble, so I'm not going to pay that one... did i not say 'most'? i heard and got out, no dramas no fuss, we now get along, and the kids are winners as a result.
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