F52
after date etiquette
January 18 2011
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
but interestingly enough, iI have asked guys mates on the subject of the after date sms, and most of them told me that they will usually wait for the girl to sms first.... which is funny, coz the girls usually wait for the guy to sms first.... lmao!
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think we all like to be reflected equally, but don't want to appear 'Needy'. You know if you don't feel you said all you should have, there's more to say. So go ahead and say it. What have you got to lose? If you're not reflected back in kind, then you'll know(perhaps) that it was just you. But more often, that new person will feel the same, and be happy for the knowledge you feel about them. You'll be content you conveyed you true feelings, whatever the outcome. You are who you are, and that is enough for anyone.
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RHP User
14 years ago
if your comfortable to message him then do it if you are the type to leave the next step up to the man...thats the way to do its all a personal choice i think...so do whatever your comfortable doing just dont become a stalker hahaha roxxy
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RHP User
14 years ago
The after date/sex text is obligatory isnt it ??? one can be much naughtier and more direct in a text................. "that was awesome, please sir can i have some more ?" or "I enjoyed your company but do not wish to proceed" What did we used to do before mobile phones ??????? Those you want me but I dont want you messages are always awkward........be gentle with each other peoples.....theres always an option of friendship........
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captainkaos
14 years ago
I don't want to big note myself but i have never gotten a bad message. Obviously you will always know how the date went, depending on the conversation, the kiss goodnight or the sex but it is always reassuring and a nice feeling when you get another text as you are driving home. especially one that says "I REALLY enjoyed myself", " I had a great time", "I would love to see you again", "You are the best lover that i have ever had", "I dont want to live without you" lol.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I totally agreed with the above. Text it and let them know how you feel and they will respect and appreciated it. It's one way to show you're mature enough to express your feeling too and most people won't mind that at all. All the best, Maya x
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RHP User
14 years ago
Getting passionate is just as much a gift from him to her as it is from her to him. So, in my world, saying thanks is superfluous. If your lover doesn't realise without mouthing "thankyou" that you've enjoyed yourself and appreciated the company and the gratification then you're doing something wrong!Getting the message across that you want more depends on the personalities and I wing it... but I can well imagine saying something cornball like "Hello lovely, I had a wonderful dream about you last (enter day of previous hook up)" to open the conversation again.If you desperately feel the urge to text... try something like "I've got something delicious I want to share with you, When can I bring it around?"The "great night" line leaves your real intentions and desires open and unresolved. As for feeling pressured... if you don't ask, generally you don't get. You can be a little assertive! Men appreciate the open channels of communication and you might quickly become that "someone who I can talk to as well and a good root". :pHugsStalky
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xFunlovingx
14 years ago
I don't like those texts as soon as the other person is gone. If he has something to tell me, then tell me then and there! I have met heaps of guys for coffees who have rarely said a thing the whole time and then not 2 minutes after I leave them I get all these texts saying "you are hot/when can we catch up again?" blah blah blah. Sorry, but if you can't say it to my face then don't say it at all...That is my motto! < If we had sex and all went well, I put it out there to see them again...If it didn't go well...I tell them to have fun with their search and goodbye and this is all while they are standing in front of me! Not nastily, I am always very nice with them. < My advice would be to just leave it for them to contact you, otherwise, you look like a stalker. And that is just MY opinion! If he wants to see you again...he will certainly let you know! If he doesn't contact you within the next week...then I would move on! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
14 years ago
This is interesting from a couple to couple swing perpective where its just fun no bonding allowed. Allways throws me, you have swapped everyone has cummed and the new lady turns around and says thankyou ...so what responce do you give "thanks your pretty good as well" Then they want to set another date the following weekend and you say sorry we dont want to swing every weekend what say in months time and you never hear from them again. Or one that dont go as well, we have a rule we are allways together and got invited in the spa with just the new lady, didnt go broke our rule, played swapped partners in the bedroom have a break suggest round two and the other lady says no. We make contact in a months time and the responce is no thanks we have found another couple. But that was a bi couple with a straight couple and they kept suggesting girl girl in bed. And a really nice one, swing everything goes good, then the following evening you get a message ,,,,,Hiya you sexy couple, just a note to let you know what a great night it was . had heaps of fun ....etc etc .........kissess x and x We thought the last example was a really nice way to say thanks great night and they have left the door open for again with no pressure.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Saying Thankyou always seems to feel awkward as you strap up your pants... and it is completely un-necessary...HugsStalkyHehe... so true. Always weird when you exhange money at the same time. I mean who says "Thanks"? The person strapping up their pants and handing the money over, or the person taking the money... Or both? Awkward!
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RHP User
14 years ago
It makes me realise that he is still thinking of the fun that we just had. The obligatory thanks is exchanged as we part of course. Thanks for a great time yada yada yada. Often I will think of something an hour or so later and if I havent received a text from him, I am not shy to send one.
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RHP User
14 years ago
play it cool, be in control. if you asked them out to begin with then wait for them to message back. messaging str8 after u just finished a date is a tad needy, just a tad. plus as mentioned already you've already thanked them for a good night. letting them make the next move just lets you know how interested they are. you get a message right after, you know you are in like flynn. get the next day, then thats still very good sign, they've slept on it and still thinking bout you. a few days or a week later or not at all......keep on walking. =) well that's my psych anyways
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'xFunlovingx' I don't like those texts as soon as the other person is gone. If he has something to tell me, then tell me then and there! I have met heaps of guys for coffees who have rarely said a thing the whole time and then not 2 minutes after I leave them I get all these texts saying "you are hot/when can we catch up again?" blah blah blah. Sorry, but if you can't say it to my face then don't say it at all...That is my motto! If we had sex and all went well, I put it out there to see them again...If it didn't go well...I tell them to have fun with their search and goodbye and this is all while they are standing in front of me! Not nastily, I am always very nice with them. My advice would be to just leave it for them to contact you, otherwise, you look like a stalker. And that is just MY opinion! If he wants to see you again...he will certainly let you know! If he doesn't contact you within the next week...then I would move on! xFunlovingx sometimes I think people don't say things on the spot because they are too shy or scared of rejection or sometimes it takes a bit to sink in and realise you did just have an awesome good time. I revel in afterglow, if I have had a great time and you can't wipe the smirk off your face, I think that person is worth a text to let them know.
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xFunlovingx
10 years ago
Quoting 'Cuckle_shells' I like to let someone know how I feel and that I had a good time. I always send a "thank message" afterwards. It is not so much because I might want to see them again. It has more to do with how I am. As I get older I can't be bothered playing games. I am not a mind reader and I don't expect anybody else to be either. I like to let people know how I feel. If that scares them off so be it. I don't want to change the way I am. It is nice to get one also. To know that someone is still thinking about you the day after. However I don't expect it. I understand that people express themselves in different ways. Shells.
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RHP User
10 years ago
REJECTION
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RHP User
10 years ago
You should do what you want to do. Don't second guess what he/she wants you to do, because you should be guided by what you want/need. Getting their needs met is their business. If you feel you want to say something more, or want to thank them again, I say do it. If their reaction to that is negative then that tells you something valuable about them. If you would like to catch up again, I say tell them. If they don't want to, then at least you know and can move on. ...And you've been true to yourself, which is important in itself.
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captainkaos
10 years ago
I just read what I had said 3 1/2 years ago. Sometimes I just crack myself up. lmao. It is true though, I too love to know how each person feels. I hate playing mind games.
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xFunlovingx
10 years ago
Quoting 'captainkaos' I just read what I had said 3 1/2 years ago. Sometimes I just crack myself up. lmao. It is true though, I too love to know how each person feels. I hate playing mind games. I must've just come off one of "those dates" lol. It is funny to read back and to realise how different you do things as you get older...(well.....some things) . Raff, if they are shy I don't mind the texts so much...My thinking back then (and still now I guess) is, if they show no interest on the first meet and look at everyone but me! That is when I can't be bothered with it all. If they can't show me or tell me that they like me on the first meet...then don't text me and tell me.
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RHP User
10 years ago
From my 'RHP style Inexperienced' point of view... If I have had a good time and like the lady I simply SAY, "I had a great time... I'd love to see you again". I don't push for a date or time, but I make sure they know I want a repeat performance... Especially with a date where you've been to dinner or coffee or drinks to get to know each other, for the purpose of seeing if there's a 'connection'. If, for instance, it was after having had a close 'intimate' encounter (I.e. sex), I hope I am able to determine myself, by how things went, if the lady would like to see me again... But I'm new to this and so, I have only had sex with ladies I have gotten to know over a few dates before the 'sexual encounter'... But I imagine it would be much the same. At least, I'd treat it the same in so far as I'd say "I had a wonderful time and I'd love to see you again"... If she said OK or gave an affirmative impression, I'd follow up in a couple of days with a phone call or sms to let her know it wasn't just a 'courtesy' on my part.
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Missb4u
10 years ago
Especially the ones straight after saying what a great time they had. If I don't get a message I figure you just aren't that into me. If there is no message or contact you drop off my radar as your actions are saying you aren't interested or it was just a fuck. I think if you are planning on or would like to see the person again you would keep in contact, just a message every couple of days or something so they know you are still interested. I think it's important as it can be so hard to coordinate sometimes. - Posted from rhpmobile
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