M56 F59
conventional wisdom
April 02 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
You women are conditioned to keep their legs closed to get the prize of the gold ring its as old as time and men are to blame for this, as they don't want to marry the girl that other guys have had but those ones they fuck after they are married to someone else had this conversation last night with one of my xlodgers, nothing ever changesthe hymen is worth a hell of a lot no matter where you live some places more than others. Cultures that value that above all else case a great deal of grief to women.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't think you should tell people how to lead their lives. You can talk until the cows come home but people only hear what they want and they will do what they please anyway. Some of us are very sexual beings some aren't. I have a sister who is an absolute prude..., same genes, same upbringing but completely different sexual needs.
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madotara69
11 years ago
A bit toey and getting knock backs? Looks like the Mr has written this quest? Why would you want to convince these young lady friends to change their beliefs? What are they missing out on? A meaningless random fuck with someone who they know does not love them? Bit confusing as too the intentions of such a topic? Risky business!!! Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
I merely ask this question as a lot of these woman don't even want to date or even could be stuffed dating but all of them say where am i going to find the Guy for me . one that i know thinks prince charming is about to walk through the door and whisk her away to the castle. I will admit that i find all of them very attractive and would love to take them to the bed room. as for toey and getting knock back i love a good no thanks from anyone as i believe rejection good and no means no. also a lot of these ladies seem interested in what we get up to as a couple .
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Ummmm..... perhaps, they're simply exercising a different choice to you..... and seeking to convince them to choose otherwise is a bit arrogant in my view. DG - Posted from rhpmobile
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uneventful
11 years ago
And meaningless unfulfilled one night stands can have repercussions and regrets - Posted from rhpmobile
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uneventful
11 years ago
And meaningless unfulfilled one night stands can have repercussions and regrets - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mr_MrsAraps
11 years ago
If someone chooses to be in a monogamous relationship, it makes them happy, has no regrets on the sex partners they could have had and gives them great monogamous sex then whose place is it to judge and force non-monogamy on someone. Everyone needs to be free to make their own choices in life and forcing non-manogomy on people when they choose something else is just as bad as Fred Nile and Co forcing monogamy IMHO.
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RHP User
11 years ago
a) What LadyT said - even IF these single women wanted to sleep with lots of people, the fact is that our society still judges women harshly for doing so. Society says they should find a man and get married before they get too old, and many men are still the ultimate hypocrites...they don't want to marry a woman who has slept with lots of guys, doesn't matter that they could have been busily fucking a different woman / women every week. b) What the others said - just because you love having sex with lots of people, doesn't mean everybody else does or should. It's not cool to impose your beliefs on others and tell them what they should be doing with their lives...I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate it if the situation was reversed.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Your lifestyle is yours, not some one else's and you have no right to expect others to validate your lifestyle choice by agreeing with you. If one seeks to validate your choice by extolling the gratification of multiple partners over a monogamous relationship then expect those who choose to live with a single partner to demean your choice too. It all depends on perspective and personal morality.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Got to say it.. Dual standards, LD you hit the male, sorry, nail, on the head. The arrogance of the male. Lady T, yes, so true, the value of women is based around chastity, those without are considered as the next conquest, those with are considered virtuous by men. Some will just be tomorrows f**k but never considered as a wife or a partner.
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RHP User
11 years ago
How do women view men? Are we so alike?
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On_Safari
11 years ago
And the young Ladies you are having these conversations with a rampantly hunting for the chicest of cocks for breakfast, lunch and dinner. A) are they actively going to admit the fact among their friends to you? B) would your mindset change to one being that she's the one in the group you can fck therefore presents less a challenge and C) would you engage any of these women to become your life partner. If you answered A) No B) Yes, you'd think she was easy and therefore used goods but an easy lay anyway and C) No you woukdn't take her home to your Mother and she wouldn't be Mrs Liquidesirezz. And that makes you no different between 90% of your species. Cultures As Lady T touched on who place a virtuous and intact hymen as a priority often have the highest levels of infidelity...look at Aaian communities who even when they get a decent caucasian man still crucify himbecause everyone knows western cultures are nothing but loose sluts. So are European ones by the way so why label these things. I'm a completely flawed human being, I'm blunt, often tactless and sexually explored in some areas and not so much in others. But you kniw what, I'm not a hypocrite and I would enjoy a meaningful deep abiding connection to my lover(s) notice I didn't stipulate in the singular. If that makes me unattractive to you that's fine......your close-minded attitudeand approach to life wouldn't make us a match anyway. Your loss. Onwards and uowards people, it's all in your perspective and just an end note: some of you married your sweetheart BUT you also fell in love with someone else so much better suited to you because she wasn't the pretty young girl espousing her virtue to land that golden ring on her finger. I'm also an asvocate of loooooong engagements and not theowing your life away on someone who sees you as just a oart of their kandscape and nit the man/womanyouhave grown into your 40's plus to be. ~ Indy rant over and I'll be here for autographs all week đ
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madotara69
11 years ago
And this is why it aint the chat rooms.
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inspirit
11 years ago
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madotara69
11 years ago
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On_Safari
11 years ago
The other 50% survive because they have affairs. A ring and a piece of paper dies not give ownership to you of another person. It places them un a position of mutual respect, caring and trust. If any of those fail to work out then the dissatisfied partner (or both) will seek it outside the marriage. That doesn't make it wrong it just makes them wrong for each other it simply means they need to reassess why they are together, if it's assets split them amicable, kids shouldn't become chess pieces in a hurtful game and should always know and understand that they still have and ae lived by both parents. Whatever the neigh sayers think who gives a shit it isn't their life. The only people who have to be happy ultimately are the ones involved. It's got me buggered why divorce/seperation has to be all hate, rape and pillage. Communicate loves it's gonna hurt and there's gonna be snot and tears but hey.....longer term you'll have half of what you worked toward, supported kids by both parents, and maybe if you're lucky a new partner who knows where you came from and will work their ass of alongside you to recoup the loss. I know nothing about the chat rooms Mado, reckon they'd draw and quarter me for blaspheme!!! Ok I'm deliriously tired now just got told I might be out tomorrow đyaaaay. Woot woot night Pie Faces xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
The same story is there,over and over again.....Cinderella,Sleeping Beauty.....We are taught to think this way......I assume OP that these young women are a lot younger than you......they will make there way in the world and either end up in a monogamous relationship or not....they will either be happy with their lifestyle choice or not......many female posters here are women over forty who chose that monogamous lifestyle and have now chosen a different path......we 'all change and grow......I met a couple in their nineties who have been together for over 70 years,it was very obvious that they still loved each other very much.....so who is to say it doesn't work......I personally think monogamy is an unnatural state....but that is just my opinion,and whether it is or not comes down to choice....coupledom is surely about so much more than sex.....for some people that takes precedence xxQ
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RHP User
11 years ago
But really, who knows? Individuals have individual wants, needs and wishes and perhaps it's that simple. I can only speak from personal experience OP, so here goes. Years 15-23 were full of one night stands and I loved them. I was more than happy to share my body but not at all happy to let anyone get emotionally intimate - I already longed for a really deep connection but knew the men I was with didn't have the same urges. So I just kicked back and enjoyed the sex, fun and exploration. Then I was in my first long-term monogamous relationship, for 13 years. I loved that too, though sadly we had the emotional intimacy but not the physical intimacy in the end. One thing I learned in that relationship is that deep, enduring, monogamous mind/body/spirit connection remained THE thing I longed for. We split up, I had a few more casual flings, found RHP and swinging-ish adventures, all very naughty but ultimately they were hollow and empty. Then I met someone and experienced the kind of intimacy I'd been longing for and it trumped anything else I'd ever experienced. Sadly that ended too and once again I opted for some casual flings. The meaninglessness and lack of connection in these was awful - I cried afterward a couple of times because my spirit just ached for a meeting of hearts. So at 15 I already knew very clearly the kind of intimacy I wanted even though I didn't experience it until 36. Random sex, public sex, group sex etc hasn't changed my desire one little bit. Sure, I experimented along the way and I certainly don't regret that. But it didn't equate to the awesome experience you're insisting young singles should have OP. Because perhaps for some the experience just isn't that awesome. - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
I value highly my friendships and as a golden rule don't sleep with "friends"...Friendships have a lot of meaning to me. If I want to ruin it, sure it's my choice if I sleep with them, then I have to suffer the consequences afterwards. So I am guessing the women you speak of, think the same. I believe, no one can never tell another how or what type of relationships one has to have. If I was told I could only have just Poly or just monogamous relationships, I would not like it. People want choices, I want choices...choices that would make me happy. Sound like these women have made their choice and know what they want and who they are.. As a friend OP, may I suggest if you value these ladies and the friendship support them and their choice. It maybe different to your way of thinking and cultural beliefs but at the end of the day it's their choice. Anyways who says we should be monogamous??? If I taught my daughter that the only relationship she could have was monogamous, I would be denying her of choices and would she be happy in just that?? Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
It really eeeeeeeks me when ever I hear that...people are not commodities; traded or exchanged. I believe people should be respected first as humans and if someone said to me "try before you buy" - I would be turned off. It's sounds like some sort of sale pitch and I would feel like I being pressured into something I don't really want or need. I am worth more, than to be traded or exchanged..just sayin! Foxy
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RHP User
11 years ago
the above replies have been great , thank you it has cleared up a lot of where i think these ladies are coming from. most of the women im talking about are just in their forties and have never been married or had kids . as for me wanting them that is off the cards as we are friends .
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RHP User
11 years ago
Take the dream away from young people.....look around you.....we get bombarded by two different mindsets. SEX, SEX, SEX is everything.....females are sexualised in every add, in everyday life......and then the male wants the untouched flower, give me a break. I hope my sons will have a different mindset. Yes we all want sex and lots of it.....however first we have to change our thinking to be fully free and non judgemental. And this is not only for males......many, many women look down on other women for being free, why, because we are in competition, always for the male. We would still kill another female for being the top âBITCHâ sorry I donât like this word but donât know what else to call it. We females are the meanest of all, towards another female who lives out what she loves, sex and men. I seen it, I heard it, and believe me we are a spiteful lot towards each other. Oh God we have to learn so much, still so much. I was in a monogamous marriage and I loved it, what would have happened in our marriage is hard to say now, maybe we would have explored swinging maybe not, we grow and change, but one thing I know for sure, I need connection to a man in a way, I don't like just to fuck, for me itâs cold and heartless. I rather not fuck then being just a piece of pussy only. Yes I get horny and wet and wild, still for me itâs important to feel, to like the person I will have sex with, all the random encounters are not for me. This has nothing to do with one offs, you canât predict you will see the person again after, thatâs a different matter. However all this we have to find out for ourselves and no one can or should make another do what is not in their heart. L
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'I_N_D_A_G_I_N_E' The other 50% survive because they have affairs. A ring and a piece of paper dies not give ownership to you of another person. It places them un a position of mutual respect, caring and trust. If any of those fail to work out then the dissatisfied partner (or both) will seek it outside the marriage. That doesn't make it wrong it just makes them wrong for each other it simply means they need to reassess why they are together, if it's assets split them amicable, kids shouldn't become chess pieces in a hurtful game and should always know and understand that they still have and ae lived by both parents. Whatever the neigh sayers think who gives a shit it isn't their life. The only people who have to be happy ultimately are the ones involved. It's got me buggered why divorce/seperation has to be all hate, rape and pillage. Communicate loves it's gonna hurt and there's gonna be snot and tears but hey.....longer term you'll have half of what you worked toward, supported kids by both parents, and maybe if you're lucky a new partner who knows where you came from and will work their ass of alongside you to recoup the loss. I know nothing about the chat rooms Mado, reckon they'd draw and quarter me for blaspheme!!! Ok I'm deliriously tired now just got told I might be out tomorrow đyaaaay. Woot woot night Pie Faces xx Have to agree here having split from my ex 2 years ago after 20 year years together. I caught here having an affair for the last 3 of those years. Biggest thing is she was never into sex so she told me. but what people want to do with their lives is up to them so long as its not hurting any one
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On_Safari
11 years ago
I hear you babe ..... Loud and clear xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
I believe there are several right ones, depending on the stage of life you are in. Young women are raised up on this stuff, its in the movies books and mills and boon, so when your young you believe in the fairy tale. And so you should, look to relationships with optimism and its more to do with romance , that ideal rather than the hard yards of real relationships. so while a person has rose coloured glasses then they should enjoy the world of relationships. Some people start off with the right one, and end up with the right one. Yes even in todays jaded world there are glimmers of true and lasting love. Over time there is the great compromise of life. Sex and desire change as you age, as your situations change. In sickness and in health for richer and poorer, well those words do not really carry much weight when you live as long as we humans do today. Many a married life is lived in compromise, behind closed doors , men and women often go without sex year in year out.Some men are forced to go to working girls as part of that compromise. Women have affairs or come on RHP as part of the compromise. that compromise might be they are exploring their sexual wild side till that knight in shiny armour comes along. Its tantalising to want to seduce those lovely young innocent things but why shatter their belief systems too soon. they will find out soon enough that its not all beer and skittles in the sexual dynamics of men and women. perhaps they believe in true love. And true love as we know requires that first kiss and that special one to part your legs for. Cinderella was my first case...ladyT the RHP fairy god mother
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On_Safari
11 years ago
I am in my early forties, I have been married and also have 3 beautiful girls only 2 with the same wonderful Daddy. The other is Satan's child and a time in ancient history I prefer to remain memory-free. I was always into sex just not with my husband.....we outgrew each other and the kindest thing was letting him go. The girls stayed with him, as did my dogs, my furniture and everything else we'd accumulated which is as I wanted it to be. And you know what? Our girls know they are loved and supported, my ex knows he is loved and supported and I know I have done the right thing for my family. I'd gave sooner walked away with nothing than lived a nightmare as I did once before. I want someone to love me someday in a manner befitting, loving, supportive and respectful of all our tempestuous passion and desire. My profile says that I think, I just suck at short stories. And Yes Lady T some people actually find their one true love early and remain that way....we have friends exactly like that and they ARE the lucky ones but I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learnt. ~ Amor animi ancoris (latin : Love Anchors the Soul)
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RHP User
11 years ago
In the depths of our own subconsciousness. Those that are affected by what others say and think aren't being true to themselves. I've seen women egg other women on to do stuff cos they thought they'd enjoy it. Six of one, half a dozen of the other really. But.... OP why do you honestly care if they're missing out?? I sure as hell don't :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yep I kind of agree. It is a shame that some women feel that their chastity is a bargaining chip or feel that they can't sleep with who ever they like because it would be frowned upon. I have friends in their 30's and 40's now who still kind of feel this way... they would never date more than one person even if it was casual, they wouldn't have a one night stand, they break things off after a couple of dates if they feel it wont go anywhere, they will only date men ultimately want commitment ......... because yep, they all looking for a long term relationships. I tell them that is great, but what are you missing out on in the mean time? Why not have casual friends or here is a wild outside of the box thought, how about you date someone for awhile without automatically thinking where is this leading and is he the one. How about you enjoy men and friendships and live a little. I am sure when you are on your death bed you wont be saying...... "Gee I am glad I didn't have sex all those times because...?? " I am not saying they have to be swingers, or have lots of casual sex at all, but I do feel they are being a little too rigid in their beliefs that good girls shouldn't.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Totally agree with this "they should try before they buy and live life with out regret and have fun at the same time." Life is too short, there is too little time, too many countries and places to visit, too many people to meet and too many experiences to be had. Go hard or go home.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'liquiddesirezz' the above replies have been great , thank you it has cleared up a lot of where i think these ladies are coming from. most of the women im talking about are just in their forties and have never been married or had kids . as for me wanting them that is off the cards as we are friends . Yep.... so who are they saving it for? How many men would meet a woman in her 40's and expect that she would have only had a few partners in her life time? I so understand, because I have friends like this and quite frankly I was heading this way as well. We were all brainwashed as children to think that men spread it around and women are sluts if they open their legs for someone they don't love. The real turning point for me was when I started a new job at the age of 35 and met two women in their 40's who had been with the company for 20 years, they were both single, no kids, they never mentioned men or boyfirends or if they did it was relationships they had obviously had a long long time ago and they were not happy women. Not happy at all. No offence but I didn't want to be like that. Mind you I didn't really do anything about until I hit 40..... and here I am.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Grrrr,now that was annoying....now you tell us the young ladies are in their forties:-) .....perhaps they just don't enjoy sex..xx Q
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RHP User
11 years ago
Shhhh......Sometimes women lie xx Q:-) :-) :-)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Qefenta2' Grrrr,now that was annoying....now you tell us the young ladies are in their forties:-) .....perhaps they just don't enjoy sex..xx Q Interesting though isn't it. That their age makes a difference to how you answer this question.
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
Quoting 'Qefenta2' Grrrr,now that was annoying....now you tell us the young ladies are in their forties:-) .....perhaps they just don't enjoy sex..xx Q They are men-ohhhhhhhh-PAUSAL. foxy
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RHP User
11 years ago
We've all been there and had our ideals . Most are told about the handsome young man who comes along gives you a ring, give you a house with a white picket fence have babies and live happily ever after.... Of course it does happen but more often than not it turns pear shape , both get narky and suddenly start to think what they missed out on Monogamy is nice if you have it and it works , but on this site we sure have our share of those who would say different... My view ? Don't die wondering.. Having a few nookies doesn't have to mean the ground will suck you up...
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madotara69
11 years ago
But the OP did not say these women were unhappy, just I expect, said in privacy, a set of views, to questions of a personal nature. I would not speak of matters between friends and that trust to a subject as this, therefore I don't see these mentions as friends to the OP, just acquaintances and as mentioned, questions from a male swinger, with free sex as the topic. What these ladies have said is not worth a debate. The topic is open for debate however. Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' But the OP did not say these women were unhappy, just I expect, said in privacy, a set of views, to questions of a personal nature. I would not speak of matters between friends and that trust to a subject as this, therefore I don't see these mentions as friends to the OP, just acquaintances and as mentioned, questions from a male swinger, with free sex as the topic. What these ladies have said is not worth a debate. The topic is open for debate however. Mado WTF are you talking about? I am speaking about my own experiences Mado so do not tell me what I can and can not say. Never said single older women without kids are unhappy.... I certainly am not.
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madotara69
11 years ago
Read it again? Yes you did say your opinion was based on these women unhappy, I only questioned the difference from you and your circumstances completely different than the topic at hand.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Someone's inner bitch is working well ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
And how are they completely different? Hmmm? Except that I was one of those women a few years ago so don't presume to tell me about how women think mate. The two women I happened to meet where unhappy which really resonated with me, not once did I infer that other women are not super fabulously happy not getting any sex because they feel it is the right thing to do. Have you actually re-read what you have written? Can you honestly say that it makes any sense?
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madotara69
11 years ago
Makes sense to me. What say there is a common answer from all these young single women, replying to personal questions from a swinging male, suggesting to the beliefs of not playing around or keeping sex private to a partner. You see the OP did not answer to the open play question, I sense the manipulation for advice to help change another's mind. It's the original post, suggests this reason, I really don't care for your personal observations and self choices, you make them yourself. Though what if you were one of these single women the OP was asking for help to change your mind, whatever you may think? The OP said later these friends of his were off grounds for sex, I question whether these friends would appreciate such slander.
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Violetincredible
11 years ago
When do these women decide to have sex? When they are married, proposed to or told I love you? Doesn't this just promote manipulation? how do they know they won't get dumped straight after? I don't know what you would say to them but to me as soon as you label any relationship or have expectations of return favours for sex you have destroyed it. Xxviolet
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RHP User
11 years ago
At forty presumably you have life experience,the decisions that you make are more informed,unless you have been living in a bubble....a forty year old virgin you must admit Meeka,is unusual, whether you are male. or female xx Q
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Qefenta2' At forty presumably you have life experience,the decisions that you make are more informed,unless you have been living in a bubble....a forty year old virgin you must admit Meeka,is unusual, whether you are male. or female xx Q Not saying that they are virgins. Just that a lot of people's comments about women being thought of as slut and a man wouldn't want to get serious with a woman who sleeps around........ does that still apply to a woman who is in her 40's and has a casual friend here and there? Just seemed like the "social" conventions change the older you get? Or maybe they don't?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Mado, not sure what you are reading but my understanding of the question is nothing like yours and I don't see any slander at all. It is a general question about a few single women he knows. I don't believe he has said he wants to change their minds so that he can get in their pants. But like me and how I chat to my friends. Life is so short, so don't live it based on some out dated ideal because one day you may regret it. That is what we are saying.
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RHP User
11 years ago
In my belief, I would not go out of my way to suggest what these ladies should or shouldn't do...in regards to this context of course. We all lead different lives which stemmed from different upbringings and experiences. For example, I worked in a male dominated industry for most of my life. Guys would talk about hooking up etc. etc. when asked about what I do, I said I like to wait so that I can build a trust between each other before we take that step. Well, I was laughed at and told what I should do and whatbinwas missing out on. Man all of this hurt aye. They may have not meant to hurt me, but by heck I was really thinking if I was a normal guy. So what I would suggest, and a suggestion is all this is, is if you are truly concerned about their well being, respect them for who they are and what decisions they choose. It is hard especially if it's a gift you feel you may be offering them....but just wait. If they want to know and have questions, well yes by all means educate them. But please don't do this out out of your own pleasure. Let them know the pros and cons and how to be safe in all of this. But just remember, if they don't want to know, then just enjoy them as another human being with different sets if ideals.
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madotara69
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Mado, not sure what you are reading but my understanding of the question is nothing like yours and I don't see any slander at all. It is a general question about a few single women he knows. I don't believe he has said he wants to change their minds so that he can get in their pants. But like me and how I chat to my friends. Life is so short, so don't live it based on some out dated ideal because one day you may regret it. That is what we are saying. Not the real world, most ideals in the world around us in our community is monogamous families just getting through life, majority. Guess all the singles have moved to sex in the cities. There has been a growing push at destroying the ideal of couples just happy in love. Truth is they are all around us, some just don't want to see it, the singles world especially at middle age is a minority, why change someone's dreams. Who is we anyway? If another holds on to the ideal for falling in love, what are they really missing out on, we can all wank. Thank goodness for the sandpit, we can see things in different ways, conventional wisdoms. I have said all I have to say. You know I think the world of you Meeka, please don't take it so personally.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Again I disagree with lots of your points Mado. But I will leave it there.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Violetincredible' When do these women decide to have sex? When they are married, proposed to or told I love you? Doesn't this just promote manipulation? how do they know they won't get dumped straight after? I don't know what you would say to them but to me as soon as you label any relationship or have expectations of return favours for sex you have destroyed it. Xxviolet I would envisage these women would decide to have sex exactly WHEN THEY WANT TO! Whom are we to judge, we don't know them, all we know is the OP tried and got knocked back. In reality it could have been a line they spun to the OP to get him to stop hitting on them for sex. Just because we are on this site some here equate their lifestyle as the norm where we may be the exception! Mooka
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RHP User
11 years ago
.... 1/ I never have had the urge (I'm 44....so I guess 24 ish years) to settle down with an incompatible women with a hymen, in lieu of a compatible woman who loved sex, and exploring her sexuality. 2/ if she wasn't sexual, we would not be compatible in the first place. I have had lots of sexual partners, so I would be a hypocrite and a sexist prick if I expected otherwise simply because my partner was a woman...first and foremost she is a person, and gets (deservedly, not begrudgingly) the same rights privileges and advantages as any other person including me 3/ I have a son and a daughter....they both have been given the exact word for word birds and bees talk...there are no double standards in my house. Look it's easy to say that society says this and society says that....and than men are hypocrites etc......and maybe on average they are.....but guys AND girls are on this site, presumably because they don't give a shit about what society dictates....you are running your own race, AND If that is the case....and someone's standards/morals/ belief structures are that incompatible with yours, then they are not the right match( long or short term) for you anyway. My lifestyle hurts no-one....and someone else that's into monogamy, certainly isn't hurting anyone else. If there happy good luck to them....and if there not? Am I really in a position to preach.
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RHP User
11 years ago
1) Women (in particular) are unlikely to divulge there true thoughts/feelings (particularly to a man) unless they are extremely comfortable with those who are listening or it can be done anonymously (such as here). This is simple self preservation (as you never know how some poeple will react) and no criticism is intended. 2) Men (in particular) are horribly unsuited to monogamy generally speaking. The male biological imperative is to impregnate as many women as possible as quickly as possible so as to ensure continuation of their genetic heritage. This is diametrically opposed to most societal norms and places great strain on relationships (IMHO). As stated by others, in the end it is up to the individual to make their own choices and deal with whatever consequences may ensue. It is to be hoped that each individual is assessing the possibilites realistically and not through the filter of unrealistic ideals.
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RHP User
11 years ago
and what seriously pisses me off, when I slip up and allow myself to get pissed off by anything on here, is why why why anyone would think it's OK to impose your world view on another? And ... The idea that because someone else has a different world view, it's somehow inferior to yours. Reading back through the posts on the thread I see this arise half a dozen or more times. Grr. Yes, sometimes people miss out on experiences because of fear or shame etc, and we all have to grow as people so that we can have full and incredible lives that aren't minimised by our hesitations. But, sometimes people have simply made a choice - an informed choice at that - that an experience is not for them. Seeking to understand is almost always a gentler, kinder approach than seeking to tell someone what's good for them, especially when you're telling them only based on your own world view. Grr again.
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