couples: monogamous living with a non monogamous

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  A bloke at tafe reckons he was in an open relationship but was still deeply in love with his partner. I think that so long as that guy is prepared to accept her mind might change and that his choices could become settle or go then I see no issue with it.. morally or ethically. End of the day these girls are sleeping with a guy who is in a relationship. It is not cheating but if he was to lie about being with someone full stop then it would not be good at all. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Yes it is possible if that is what both people want. For example, men that like to be cuckolded for example.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  From what I know it's about the humiliation of the act? In that case I'm not sure it's the healthiest association.. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  It's not always the humiliation of it at all. And who are you to comment on people's fetishes?

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Trust - Posted from rhpmobile

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  gazpacho

  11 years ago

  Some people were never meant to be monogamous. And it is clearly possible to love more than one person. Others are very accepting of their partner's nature and that is probably the attraction anyway. I do not think it is particularly rare, is it? I wouldn't want to hang around if I was being humiliated, so if they're the only rules, go for it, but shop outside the social circle. lol. One should never ask a question that one doesn't want to hear the answer to. It's a very European idea. :)) The again, I know others like being humiliated.... I suppose it's part of their "thing". HugsGazpacho

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  MsSuperFoxy

  11 years ago

  You can post what you want and ask what ever you want. I just read your post, you asked a valid question from your own views and knowledge. Nothing wrong with that. Foxy

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  MsSuperFoxy

  11 years ago

  with open and honest communication. Why not? If two people are happy, who is anyone to judge their relationship, what they do or do not do?? Foxy

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Simply, if all parties want the same thing and understand the 'rules', then anything can work in a relationship in my view. One of my dear friends is in that very setup and it works beautifully for them. It's when one person moves the goal posts or becomes deceitful that trouble brews. Kisses, J (Mrs) - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Thanks everyone for your input. Foxy, you mention it can work with open and honest communication. I believe that is important in any relationship. Are they to stay monogamous to make one person happy? Or as an alternative, explore that lifestyle? Should we question our intentions to stay with the other person out of fear of losing them or being alone? - Posted from rhpmobile

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  him_and_me

  11 years ago

  Anything is ok, as long as you are both ok with it. Like it has been mentioned above, trust is important but that goes for any kind of play in here I think. Talk about it, lots. Be open and honest in your feelings and fears and hopes. I wish you both well, x Me

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  if it's what you BOTH want. Communication and boundries are the key. Cuckolding simply means that one of the partners has sex with people other than their partner, there are kinks and fetishes that go along with cuckolding, humiliation, mfm, mmf, chastity, caging, femdom and sissification, these are common but not essential to the lifestyle. Nor are they "unhealthy" between consenting adults who have taken the time to explore their sexual needs and wants.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  well yeah if there's no jealousy but I don't think that a monoamorous person will be very content with the level of intimacy they receive from a polyamorous person *shrug*

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  It can definitely work, it just takes a lot of trust and communication from both sides. There also has to be a lot of understanding of people's needs and desires whether it's sexual, emotional, financial, or social. It can be hard to find someone okay with your situation (I'm assuming you two are a monogamous couple opening up, sorry if I'm wrong!) but when it all works it can be amazing. My lovely FWB and I are in a casual and open arrangement and support each other seeing other people, and it's been this way ever since we met 2 1/2 years ago. I, however, have come across a few financial problems and a painful injury over the past 12 months and so we've kind of come into a polyandrous situation by default. It is consensual and we talk openly about it (respecting her playmate's privacy) and will work around people's schedules to make sure everyone feels comfortable and not left out. I leave most of the "planning" up to her as I trust her completely and believe she has everyone's happiness in mind. I should also mention we don't live together and we've been swinging for a while which makes it a lot easier, I've also known for as long as I can remember that monogamy is definitely not for me. There are other people here on the boards that are in a situation more similar to your living style, and can give you some great advice (they may not for reasons listed in the next paragraph) There are a lot of problems on the non-monogamous path but the hardest thing (for me) has been outside people. Declaring can be intimidating - Whether it's friends, family, coworkers, or complete strangers we still live in a society where monogamy is expected to be the norm and in situations where it isn't people will believe something is wrong and may be vocal about it. It's damaged a few friendships we've had, and unfortunately lost some people close to us. C'est la vie.

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  MsSuperFoxy

  11 years ago

  Quoting 'Curioussouls' Thanks everyone for your input. Foxy, you mention it can work with open and honest communication. I believe that is important in any relationship. Are they to stay monogamous to make one person happy? Or as an alternative, explore that lifestyle? Should we question our intentions to stay with the other person out of fear of losing them or being alone? - Posted from rhpmobile I believe Happiness starts with yourself... To stay monogamous to make another person happy, in my eyes will not work. I reckon after a period of time the one person who is trying to make another happy will end up very miserable. To be honest I haven't been in this situation, but I can say from my own personal life experiences, that would happen, I'm guessing? I stayed with someone to keep them happy, in the long run I was bloody miserable so I had to leave. Why would one stay, in fear of being alone or losing them?? Is that what you fear?? You can only try it and see how it goes?? It's a choice tho that both parties agree on, I believe. Foxy

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I think that is a very broad statement and not true either. Some people don't want to have someone 24/7 you know. And I think poly amorous people can be very intimate... Not sure why you would say otherwise?

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  It would take a hell of a lot of communication. I think a build up of resentment could occur by the monogamous if things weren't handled fairly.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Quoting 'Meeka100'And I think poly amorous people can be very intimate... Not sure why you would say otherwise? I spent the last 5 years in a relationship with a bi woman where we were trying to stay monogamous for the sake of the each other, playing straight etc etc. We got closer to each other than either of us could handle, and now we both identify as polyamorous. Now we're BFFs with benefits. I guess we are seeking more than the other can give, and giving more than the other can take - so it's probably more of a two way street heh. To be fair, I wouldn't know what being monogamous is like anymore than I know what being straight is like.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  if you have some kind of agreementand if you do not throw up the stuff you do to your partners face different if its a cuckold situation. many people do it when one partner becomes very ill. Its often implied at times, as its hard for the person that's ill to come right out and say, its ok if you take a lover and its hard for the other person because of the guilt. only those two people involved can work out what's best for them and even then things can change so new rules are set or the relationship can go pear shaped.

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