M53
definitions
August 29 2014
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have at times struggled with this principle... I think, because I dont make a big deal of sex, and consider it a normal part of my life, where women and sex is as abundant as I want it to be. Mmmm wonder how you would have responded to this topic if it was written by another guy. But to your question.Have you considered that the person has just not met all of the boxes. maybe they have met 9 of the ten or what ever number there is. Im only speaking from my point of view and friends that I have spoken with. Having been in relationships before the next serious one must have all those boxes checked. You may call it methodical and leaving myself relationship less if my Prinss Charming doesn't come along. But why would mees want to settle for less. I can have a great time fucking and socialising with my FB's but as for my soul partner. I want hir to have everything. EB still stuck at Base Camp 3
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Tall74nHard9
10 years ago
quite simply, we are all different in our feelings and thought processes. After reading through your post a few times, from what I can see, you believe that we as humans have the same intrinsic feelings as one another, but I beg to differ on that point. You can see the variances in daily life - a minority of us are, for example, are quite capable of murder without the blink of an eye and doesn't affect their other daily routines. Others may, for example, take drugs and bash someone senseless in the street and happily walk away without further consideration. I the same vein, so to speak, some people can compartmentalize their thoughts / actions with regard to sexual activity (as an example) and can quite happily form an association purely for the matter of sex, without having or willing to make further commitment. That is one form of being 'open minded', because you have no further desire or wishes to form any form of 'relationship' with that person other than for sex. It is not necessarily a string as you put it, because if there happens to be no further contact between the two parties, they just move on to the next person. Again, it basically boils down to a person's interpretation of definitions - and not all definitions mean the same things to different people (as witnessed throughout many forum topics). Tall
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RHP User
10 years ago
That's a lot if words right there, so I might not have read them all as carefully as I should have. My iPhone screen is small and my eyeballs feel like hardboiled eggs in sand-paper sockets today. So I won't attempt to address all points. I'll just say that sometimes you meet someone you're completely, sexually compatible with but have nothing else in common with. It's not about them not measuring up, - Posted from rhpmobile
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Plain
10 years ago
The pandoras box, well here goes defining the premise of when you make the decision is fraught with danger. In truth there are a vast range of reasons to continue or not continue with that partner and no two individuals will come to the same conclusion we are human after all. The question you are wrestling with and so am I for that matter is how open minded are you about possibilities. I will give you an example, I have a friend who I have come to admire and have some physical relationships, who is the most balanced of people, yet there are others who would not look twice, our mutual attraction is between the ears. She has tattoos and I dont and if you are to ask me bluntly I would say I am not a fan yet here I am happy to be in public with this person and I dont care. Circumstances of our meet is on a site, one of the things I do in chat is refuse point blank to use the shortened words or acronyms even if it means falling way behind ie PMSL had me puzzled for awhile for eg, anyway this lady was correcting my typos and incorrect spelling etc and got me thinking perhaps, we had a meeting nervous as hell, a coffee a bit of electricity and voila friendship and understanding because we chose to open to possibilities rather than judge nup not my type. DG the 18 year old lass worries me I want to live to a decent age the older I get i realise getting pounded until I expire by a willing lady is not on my agenda.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Sometimes you can be completely sexually compatible with someone but at the same time know it will never go any further. I have a FWB with whom I know I could never get to 'stage 4' with. In fact, the reason I got with him in the first place was because I knew that we were not relationship material and he knew it too. That suits both of us perfectly for where we are right now in our lives. It's definitely not the case that I don't think he's not good enough or worthy enough, he's just not 'the right one'. And nor am I for him. But we get to have a whole heap of fun together in the meantime & I don't see a problem with that :)
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Twisted_Mister
10 years ago
Can dictate whether a person is 'suitable' (shit turn of phrase, I'm sorry) for a relationship that's sexual only in nature. Perhaps the other person's partner (if there is one) can't satisfy the person for a variety of reasons. Additionally, either of the persons' mindset might not in the place where taking things further is a possibility. It might be that due to work and kids' commitments (as they will always come first IMO) that time constraints may mean a sexual relationship is the best that can happen. A year ago I would not even consider a relationship that went past physical contact. Today, I'd be open to that - if the right person came along. I'm not craving it, but would seriously consider it. It's a case by case basis.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
As a woman I feel quite insulted by yr post MischeviiusLad.... Do you really view yr multiple sexual partners as "just a fuck...? '.And that womens profiles say: "rerelationship considered to diffuse the option of being a sex option...". To me, such comments degrade feminine worth. I would only ever consider having a monogamous relationship with a man who viewed ALL women with respect, dignity & kindness. This is by far more important to me than a Christian Grey wannabe - with a huge ego & an inflated sense of self-worth.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Hey Mischevious lad, wish I had time to respond to this properly but unfortunately I do not. I will say that I envy your extensive vocabulary and free time. Peace - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
If I had a dollar for every time I heard 'you are so nice but...' yeah but you don't want to consider that I am perhaps someone worth getting to know, just another scratch in the bedpost.
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Circe
10 years ago
Sometimes it's a case of, someone I like, have a connection with and also find attractive yet... They have a flaw that makes them not relationship material. In my case they might be younger and want to eventually have children... They might be wounded from a previous relationship... They might be ultra neat or ultra messy- something that you can cope with when you only see them once every few weeks (or even every week), but couldn't live with. It's not disrespectful at all as long as everyone knows it's a casual thing and no one is being strung along.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Just for interests sake and perhaps to put it into a context that can be related to more easily... I have been in a relationship where as far as being partners was concerned, it was ALL there. We got on marvelously, had similar values and ideals. We enjoyed each other's company. we laughed and had so much to give each other and knew it... and even had similar views as to the future and where we saw ourselves being in say... 20 years. BUT... we just didn't match sexually... in so far as there was something (not unusual or odd at all) that I love to do and she just couldn't, wouldn't and there was no hope she would ever consider even trying. (NO it wasn't anal!!!... LOL). If it had been something 'unusual' or even considered by 'many or most' to be 'strange or depraved', I would accept that and do my level best to make it work, with as much determination I could apply7... But it was something I considered to be an important part of the way I (and so many others) express themselves, sexually... She was just SO against it that she couldn't budge and I knew she never would. SO... it's all there 'non-sexually' but the one thing that I knew I would become frustrated and resentful over, was, and could never be, part of our relationship... That situation was awful. It was heart breaking to part, but we both knew we had to... Neither of us was at any 'Stage' or considering the other as 'not worth more'. It's just something that just wasn't meant to be and it had nothing to do with WHO we were or how we felt about each other... It was purely a simple physical need that couldn't be filled. We loved each other dearly, but had to part and it tore us both to pieces.
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RHP User
10 years ago
, I don't hknow how you OP, have the need, time, energy or desire to fuck an abundance of available women, whilst hoping one of them may be 'The One..' How would you even know her if you met her, as you seem to view mere females as worthless sex objects who are ohhhhh so lucky to be naked with you...!! (I'm sure there are 22 in yr bed as we speak, & another 200 lines up round the block - all just dying,to feel yr over inflated cock & ego) I don't know you, so can't speak from experience + thank god for that..!! But I hope,you change yr arrogant, egotistical, narsasistic deneaner.... You may then not just view each woman as a soon forgotten notch on yr bedpost... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
A good post, this is an Adult Dating site, so what does one expect? It's not RSVP, many if not most are here not to "date" but for sex. Others here for the titillation or thrill seeking or to fantasize on possibilities. The focus of the site is primarily sexual and not relationship. Which I guess is also a reflection of the values or morality of posters, that's not being a prude, it's the premise of the site. If you asked a different subset like RSVP, it would.probably effect totally different responses. Relationships are built on friendship, trust, compatibility and attraction, sex is based on desire. Simplistically put I know but at the end of the day that's what it comes down too. It's really difficult, and you see it all the time, where people jump into bed try to have a relationship and find they have nothing in common. Dating used to be about discovering the person, the sex came later.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I think men are here just for sex, and they can have sex even if they don't like the woman that much, although that would change I am sure if they met someone that really blew their socks off. Men are fussy hussies when it comes to relationships and most of the time they are just not that into you. I reckon that women are more open to relationships and open to seeing someone on an ongoing basis to see where things lead. But there are times in a person's life when they are not open to relationships, so it does depend on the person. So as a massive generalisation. Men are sluts but fussy when it comes to relationships, and women are more conservative when it comes to sex but more open to relationships.
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RHP User
10 years ago
The hook up culture has something to do wit it as well I think. Those apps that people use now a days, we all have sex with each other so quickly and without knowing the other person so you haven't invested any real emotion into each other at all. So probably the sex is ordinary and you don't end up seeig each other again. As for people using each other as masturbation tools. Yes I do understand where you are coming from but people do want that skin on skin contact and connection to another person, or the enjoy the hunt and chase, otherwise they would just stay home and masturbate. Right?
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'm curious, what do you think has changed to make you now more open to a relationship? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I wholeheartedly agree with both posts. I also think that a lot of women inadvertently prioritise sex over relationships, even though deep down they would love a relationship. Women do this by repeatedly having NSA sex when they really want more. You can tell a man you want more but if you're still having NSA sex with him - as in, still having sex even though he's not acting like someone who wants to hang out, date, get to know you - of course he's going to pay attention to your actions, not your words. Honestly, I'm so disappointed with men these days. I adore men. I'm in awe of so much about men. It took me nearly 40 years to learn that men have deep emotions (silly I know, but long story) and when I did learn that I fell in love with men even more. I'm one of those women who happily worships a partner. I'm not subservient, rather I'm feisty and fierce and soft and mushy all at once, but I know how to love and to admire and be grateful for a wonderful man. And to make sure he knows all of this. I'm so disappointed because it's so rare these days to find a man who's willing to forgo the gratification of a fuck for the sweet unfolding of intimacy. And I think they don't have to forgo it, because women keep offering it up, willy nilly. Silly us. DISCLAIMER: I didn't plan this post, it just kind of spilled out. I know there are many women who truly only want NSA connections. It's fair to say that what I wrote doesn't relate to you. I guess I wrote it more for the women who complain, as so many of us do, about men fucking us and not being willing to spend any time with a, get to know us, or consider more with us. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
only argue from the point we are at in this moment of time. I find for both of our genders, first being on here we are going in a frenzy....then we slow down and we change....which ever way it is. Being my age is in a way wonderful......having had a great relationship, marriage was fantastic.....being now a long time single made me free.....I will shout out FREEEEEEEEEEEEDOM.....to express, explore and to find the ME. I would never see a person who comes in my bed ....as just a fuck, never, I think that's in my mind very disrespectful to the man who shared a wonderful time naked with me. Each one has been in a way precious, it doesnt matter will it be only once......because I have no such thoughts....but that's a mindset, and a heart set. I can and I will not see my world in the little tiny box as maybe some men put women.....that's their problem....and in a way very lonely. Running after the next sexual gratification is exhausting, I am to busy and to lazy for that. Again each one is different. I think I found my "freedom and satisfaction" on here without being demanding in anyway. I flow with the wind....what will come, comes.....I cant change anything, I cant be angry, I cant be unhappy, I cant be sad. All this negative feelings would only make me in a very lonely sad person and I have no reason to feel this way. So, yes a younger male with children would make me uneasy should I fall in love with a person like that....but then I am maybe another 30 years on this earth why deny me anything., why deny a great being to fall in love with me and I with him....who knows....and even when it only lasts for a short time.....wouldn't we gain from each other? I have to admit I stay away from young men as much as I can, lol, I am a chicken, but this doesn't mean there could be not one someday walking over my path and I drip over. We are to much mind and not enough heart anymore. To answer your question MD I will not deny myself anything.............what comes and feel's right to me, comes and will be right for me. Cheers L
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RHP User
10 years ago
Humans in a group that suits your needs :: that one i shall fuck ! That one is not worthy but i shall fuck but not be seen with in public! That one i shall go out with only when i feel the need ! That one too young ! That one too old ! Politicians swing club ! Full of fuck wits , arrogant wankers and upper class wanna be's ! I think it's simple and about mutual enjoyment and good company nothing more nothing less . - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
And they say women over think things!? Well from my experience young men establishing a strong long term bond with an older woman is rare. Other way around is quite common. I've been hauled across the coals for 'dating' young men and told Its because of lack of self esteem. (I thought it was just giving it a go!) anyway.. Just best not to go there. Hasn't been an overwhelmingly great experience especially the one who backed out at the last moment and cost me air fares to Sydney and he was the one who pushed the whole thing. Ugh it's not easy being female esp an older one. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
DG, I didn't even know there was anything past Stage 1!!!. Then I met this woman (slightly older with frizzy hair) who wanted me just for the one night! When I pointed out, despite being a male, that I actually had feelings she said... "Please, please understand" "I'm in love with another man" "But the thing he can't give me" "Whoa ho ho" "Is the one little thing that you can!". I said, "what's that?. An orgasm?" She threw a drink in my face and stormed off. Obi1
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Twisted_Mister
10 years ago
I'm not entirely sure. Been separated and now divorced for a while now, and discovered that (against my own opinion which is that I'm butt-ugly!!!) a number of people were attracted to me. I was and am lucky enough to have some encounters with amazing people both here and interstate - but sometimes it gets a bit, well, empty. I'd love to be able to lazily wake up on weekend mornings with someone on a routine basis, but that said I'm not desperate for it. If the 'right' person came into my life, I'd genuinely consider it. - Posted from rhpmobile
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