dominatrix

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  So I guess they give it to someone else??? Maybe they like being punished???- Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  cheekys that Margaret Thatcher was so popular with her cabinet...

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  MissSarahCurious

  12 years ago

  The fallacy that it's the high-flyers looking to let go of their immense day-to-day power probably stems from the fact that a professional female Dominatrix generally commands a high price which can be prohibitive to the average joe.The question is the same as really asking why do any of us feel a spark in our senses when doing something others may consider out of the ordinary, the answer is that it could come from any of a million experiences in our past or present it could come out of absolutely nowhere.I made a point of asking as many people as I could when I first got into kink and the answers varied widely, from completely innocent and nothing-inappropriate-whatsoever encounters with a teacher or a boss or a sister's friend that they later sexualised in their own imaginations, or a plain and simple 'an ex girlfriend was into it and I enjoyed it', or they just wanted to try something different that's 'taboo', or they saw it in porn and it worked for them, or it's just always been there as long as they can remember and they've no idea at all where it came from.The level of involvement also varies, as do the activities involved, it's not all whips and humiliation and snarling Dom/mes in leather, but it's fun to play up to the stereotype sometimes, hehe.Regardless of whether the submissive is male or female or whatever they do for a job or where they came from, there's simply no cookie-cutter answer you can apply to why people enjoy submission.

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  Cheekyarses

  12 years ago

  Thanks miss Sarah - well said!

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Nice one, SarahCurious! To the OP: Considering the lifestyle I enjoy leading, and being an ex-Domme, I get asked that question a lot. Why would anyone want to be submissive? To be honest, there are as many different kinds of dominance and submission as there are people, and not all, or even the majority, of them involve 'torture' or 'humiliation'. Imagine for a moment closing your eyes and giving yourself over to another person to play with, and that that person gets off on your pleasure. Imagine having your hands tied behind your back so even the idea of needing to do anything back to them at all is removed. It can be, guilt-free, all about what's going on inside your head, or across your skin. It can be exploring how a sense of vulnerability or sensory deprivation (not being able to see or hear) might heighten your sense of touch and smell, or even surprise you by your powerlessness or immobility arousing you. This is the baseline of a lot of submission, before you even get to the good stuff! The power exchange (that is, giving someone complete control over you) can be a very heady and incredibly freeing feeling. Getting into the things like being flogged or tied up more extremely, or even humiliation play or having pain inflicted like some people enjoy, is just an extension of that. It emphasises the mindfuck of having given this person control over you. The problem is, the further you want to go down that road, the harder it is to find someone who is experienced enough to take you there, safely and securely. Go to Hellfire and you'll find a lot of 'überdoms and dommes' - those who've read 50 Shades, bought a flogger and figured that makes them okay to hit people. Most professional Dommes I know have literally trained for years in the art of taking people down into submission a thousand different ways, depending on what turns them on. Which means that, ironically, it is much easier to trust a stranger, as a paid professional, than it would be to trust anyone else. I'd also say that most Dommes I know genuinely love their work, and still get turned on by what they do, even after years of doing it. It is their lifestyle and their passion. It's not just single guys who go to Dommes, btw. Couples also regularly visit Dommes I know, to learn a thing or two, and play with all the toys in a dungeon that's infinitely better equipped with fun sex toys than their bedroom could ever be! BDSM has also always been a major force in the gay scene, where you have two men or two women on otherwise equal footing, who enjoy power exchange so that one of them can 'wear the pants' and the other submit! And then you have fetishists, who are too ashamed to bring their 'strange' love of feet, or cross-dressing, or furry things (yes, it exists) into their normal sex life, so they go somewhere where they can indulge it, or even ask to have it 'forced' upon them, bypassing any feelings of shame they might have, since it is beyond their control. I have seen BDSM that is pretty, and gentle, and even loving, just as much as I've seen it be savage, or primal, or intense. I have seen a lot of very intelligent people who wish to intellectualise sex, drawn to submission because it drives further into your head than 'vanilla' sex, at the time and waaaay afterwards. I have seen construction workers turn up on the way home for half an hour being fussed over, putting on a dress and makeup, without any homosexual or even transexual leanings - they just like being fussed over and trying on nice things. No humiliation, no pain, just acceptance of whatever you feel like doing. This is turning into an epic reply, so I'll stop raving on. But hopefully this has given a small window into something I'm so glad I have in my life - just for sometimes and just for fun :) MsKinkster x Ps This isn't an invitation for lots of messages from guys looking for a Domme btw - it's not what I'm here for! MrKinkster would get very cranky indeed!

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Quoting 'SuperFox'So I guess they give it to someone else??? Maybe they like being punished???- Posted from rhpmobile I have a few lovers like that, and I can be a bossy boots most are white collar guys, eg doctor, lawyer , that kinda thing High powered jobs, stress   they want a woman to take control and tell them what to do,   it also depends on your early sexual experience, how you lost your cherry to whome etc a lot of guys with this kind of thing were seduced by older women   or went to private boarding schools, yes those high priced english schools have a lot to answer too.   Its a lot of energy to domintate a man, takes a great deal of skill and imagination that is why the professionals do so well, but they sure have to work at it.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  The best I can come up with as an answer for "why" is that it is something inherent in our natures. Like our sexuality it is not something we choose. Nor is it something born from experience or how we were introduced to sex. It is a myth that only those in higher paid professions or high stress jobs seek out the services of a Dominatrix. My clients come from many different positions and backgrounds and from different cultures and nationalities.It is a myth that being seduced by an older woman as an early sexual experience will make you sexually submissive. And there is nothing to suggest that an older woman would generally be the dominant one.It is also a myth that attending a boarding school has anything to do with how you develop sexually. It is true however that some young boys discover they become sexually aroused when caned but this has nothing to do with the school they attend. MissSarahCurious said it best I think.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  ...of cultures world-wide that practice this as part of their religion. Quoting 'Cheekyarses' ...humiliate them, torture them and speak down to them. Marriage, the last free-will decision a man makes are the words...'I do'.

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