M49
expectation or good control
August 31 2011
Comments
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erotictouch4u
13 years ago
Sometimes if your partner is not into it as much as you are then the "just sex" feeling of it might kill the mood for you if you wanted more out of the encounter. Other times you might feel "performance anxiety" and though rock hard for ages trying so desperately to make it as good as possible for her that you dont reach the final glory strokes and that could kill the mood for you. Relax, enjoy the moment, and she will too and all will cum eventually ET xox
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RHP User
13 years ago
Ok... first off... let me say that I know exactly what you mean. This used to concern me, but then I realised that I'm not turned on by everyone spreading it out and begging me to fuck them... nor should I be. Ok... for those who know me.... I know.. this news comes as something of a shock.. and although it's sad ... it is certainly true. If you see me just going through the emotions.. well... the cat's out of the bag now. You'll know what the problem is. Maybe it has to do with pheremones? I dont know... but havent all of us met someone that you think you're totally into? .. and you get all hyped up... even nude.. the idea is right there... the opportunity is upon you.... it's all laid out there ripe for the plucking .... you kiss... but *spit* splutter splutter.... it's like kissing your damn sister. No magic. It just isn't there.. and right then and there deep down.. you know it is never going to work but your ego just will not let you admit it to yourself.... truth is there is no real sexual attraction... Not the kind that makes you feel butterflies in the pit of your stomach... not the kind that makes you think your cock is going to snap from being so engorged (love that word engorged dont you?) ... not the kind that makes you growl subconsciously like a rabid animal.... sure you might be able to get a bit of penetration happening... but sometimes.. it just doesnt work.. and no matter how hard you try... you know this in the pit of your stomach... but you're not sure how to get out of the situation you're in without crushing someone's ego. That person... or some people.... are not actually exactly right ... for me to get off on. I think the strike rate is likely to be about 1 in 50 or something. So don't let it bother you and get used to saying Next.HugsS
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RHP User
13 years ago
*Gasp * What? Am I not hot enough or sexy enough for you? You know boys are always going on about how they think about sex 24/7 and implying that they would bang any half decent girl but I suppose the truth is that everyday life gets in the way. Obviously I am no expert but doesn't it also depend on how you are feeling on the day or if you are feeling stressed out or worried, etc. That all has an impact. So even men can become a little distracted and not be totally in the moment. I was with this guy for a while and we would occasionally have a FFM threesome and I can tell you he wasn't hard the whole time ! Yes, I found that a little odd as I thought that was every man's fantasy?. As Stalkers says not everyone is going to turn you on as hard. And don't fall for the male stereotype that you should be hard at the sight of any half decent naked woman. I find that if you are thinking "hmm I could take her or leave her" it is often better to leave it and say NEXT. xx Meeka
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'stalky'Maybe it has to do with pheremones? I dont know... but havent all of us met someone that you think you're totally into? .. and you get all hyped up... even nude.. the idea is right there... the opportunity is upon you.... it's all laid out there ripe for the plucking .... you kiss... but *spit* splutter splutter.... it's like kissing your damn sister. I tend to agree with Stalky's hypothesis about pheremones. It happens to women too, it's just not that visible to see. . On the occassions it has happenedto me, I have stopped it early and just gently said "I am so sorry, but I feel we click as friends, not lovers. Lets have a cup of tea then I'll drive you to the bus stop"...or something like that. . As meeka and stalky have said, it's ok to call NEXT :-)
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RHP User
13 years ago
If it was perfect everytime you would stop going back.. I think for us It's chasing that one time perfect Mind blowing experience. We have been together for over 15 yrs now and blevieve me, it can keep getting better. Sex is only limited by our imagination We have come close a few times ( may have even passed out) but even after 15 yrs. Sometimes it just aint happenin.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Ok so my partners are getting, receiving and have been pleasured by me. at the time of pleasuring they are excited, moaning etc etc. I am hard at this stage and the woman is stroking my cock, sucking etc and i just trying to soak it up and end up becoming soft. This is because i am not aroused by what she is doing. I am finding women dont go to the effort of trying to find a man erogenous zones and think that just sucking or wanking his penis is enough to do the job.Maybe i am different from other males, i dont know. But what about my nipples, what about my chest, neck, ears, back etc. This parts on me are a turn on when explored etcIf i take into account the effort and things i do for a woman, kissing her neck, warm breaths on her back, flicking her nipple with my tongue and kissing my way down to her clit, i wonder why when a male gets return serve the woman just grabs the cock, wanks it and sucks it. So once again, i want to be aroused, plasured by my partner, just as much as i give to her.........is that to much to ask?
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RHP User
13 years ago
You're not getting the right amount of response back at that time and it leaves you a little flat? I'm not talking starfish or anything, but perhaps she could be a little more say.....into it either verbally or physically? I imagine if you're having to search for signs of her enjoyment you will be thinking the whole time, guess what happens when you switch heads half way through . or could it be that you've found yourself having the same old vanilla sex and possibly yearning for a bit more kink? It's certainly happened like that for me before.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Great subject, This can happen to us all ( man or woman) You could be, your worn-out, worried about something, even the fact that ther event isn't living up to your minds expectations. I do have an erectile dysfunction that i had to learn how to over come. I wasn't much older than you are when I found out i had Prostate Cancer and had a radical prostatectomy with never sparing in the hope of still being able to gain an erection. It worked, had to learn how to have sex again (using the mind) as I don't or cant ejaculate. However i ended up with Peyronie's Disease ( Look it up you wont like it) This disease has made me smaller and the shaft has a twist to it ( bit like a hook) Some girls love it and some run like they have seen the devil. Its real simple and I used to joke about before PC. Viagra bloody wonderfull DRUG. Something to think about tho. It can also mean many thing and this is NO JOKE. Go to the doctor. get a PSA test, Blood presure test as the heart can cause this also, and so can Diabetes
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RHP User
13 years ago
So dpg, do you communicate to your lovers what you like? Do you speak up during sex to say when you like something and ask for more? Your lovers are trying to please you I am sure but a little assistance from you might go a long way to getting what you want. xx Meeka
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RHP User
13 years ago
Oh see.. we're not that different you and I... blokes like us only really go off if we're completely submerged.... driven into sensory overload... many hands (and tongues, genitals, armpits, ta~tas etc) make light work... more often than not it is too much to expect one person to provide... but then there's the one in 50 or so.... HugsStalky Quoting 'dpg81' ......... I am finding women dont go to the effort of trying to find a man erogenous zones and think that just sucking or wanking his penis is enough to do the job.Maybe i am different from other males, i dont know. But what about my nipples, what about my chest, neck, ears, back etc. This parts on me are a turn on when explored etc........
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RHP User
13 years ago
...this might have been one of those info-mercials like you see on TV late at night. On second I thought it does kind of sound a bit like that too but giving the benefit of the doubt, if you have done all this and there are two holes in the sheet rock where her little cotton socks have been blasted off throw the wall there could really a be a few solutions. | Quoting 'dpg81'Ok so my partners are getting, receiving and have been pleasured by me. at the time of pleasuring they are excited, moaning etc etc. I am hard at this stage and the woman is stroking my cock, sucking etc and i just trying to soak it up and end up becoming soft. Maybe i am different from other males... if i take into account the effort and things i do for a woman, kissing her neck, warm breaths on her back, flicking her nipple with my tongue and kissing my way down to her clit, i wonder why when a male gets return serve the woman just grabs the cock, wanks it and sucks it....is that to much to ask? | Don't just lay there...taking it all in. Keeping on teasing and pleasing them, roll around and make noise and let them know your socks are about to go through the wall too. | Cialis could help...men of all ages have found that to be great, especially on those long dirty weekends. | Other than that...make them do you first. If you are still interested in them then, give them the full treatment and it won't matter so much if you've popped a limpy. They are kind of used to that if we have really blown a load... | ...and you'll have time to recover. Good luck.
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tamworthguy46
13 years ago
Quoting 'Morticaaa . On the occassions it has happenedto me, I have stopped it early and just gently said "I am so sorry, but I feel we click as friends, not lovers. Lets have a cup of tea then I'll drive you to the bus stop"...or something like that. . As meeka and stalky have said, it's ok to call NEXT :-) Morticiaaa......how old are the guys you are dating, that you drive them to the bus stop afterwoods......lol ?.......and do you say " don't let that bus door hit you on the way out".?............Mmmmm ok NEXT BUS I suppose ! Tam
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uneventful
13 years ago
Quoting 'dpg81' Maybe i am different from other males, i dont know. But what about my nipples, what about my chest, neck, ears, back etc. This parts on me are a turn on when explored etcIf i take into account the effort and things i do for a woman, kissing her neck, warm breaths on her back, flicking her nipple with my tongue and kissing my way down to her clit, i wonder why when a male gets return serve the woman just grabs the cock, wanks it and sucks it. So once again, i want to be aroused, plasured by my partner, just as much as i give to her.........is that to much to ask?YOU are a sensual male .. (very rare to find) as opposed to a sexual Male which most of the population are .. embrace it .. talk to your partner .. play a questionnaire game before the event .. and encourage the use of eye masks .. its surprising how quickly your partners will change and give you the sensual experience you crave and desire....and deserve
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RHP User
13 years ago
Your post only just showed (yes Meeks it happened to me again hehe) I know it can be hard to ask for what we want outright, but it's the only way for them to understand and know the things that really get you going. Yeah it would be wonderful if the other person involved just automatically knew or even went to all the trouble of just exploring your body and watch for your slightest of reactions to work it out for themselves. Go for someone with a slightly more voyeuristic nature and you'll find yourself watched for every reaction man...the things I do to get a reaction on his face sometimes....anyway back to you Lol. Use your mouth , hehe to talk first, drop hints if you dont want to actaully say it all, if them running with a hint and finding out for themselves does it for your mind then leave them a bit of mystery to explore.
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RHP User
13 years ago
If you have an erection while you are pleasuring the lady and then you go all soft. I know I would just flip you on your back and take over. All those erogenous zones would be found. Yes this does happen to men and I do agree, there is way more to the sexual act than just stroking or sucking the penis. So very much more. I you have just spent the time to pleasure the lady and explored her body thoroughly then surely she can reciprocate? If she does not then maybe it is time to call a halt and say.......NEXT! Too many women seem to think that they should just recieve, recieve, recieve and because they have a vagina for the man to poke his penis into it is enough. Sorry, that is a selfish attitude and just like the man who does not make the effort, they too should not be allowed to think that thier techniques are working.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'celebree' Quoting 'dpg81' Maybe i am different from other males, i dont know. But what about my nipples, what about my chest, neck, ears, back etc. This parts on me are a turn on when explored etcIf i take into account the effort and things i do for a woman, kissing her neck, warm breaths on her back, flicking her nipple with my tongue and kissing my way down to her clit, i wonder why when a male gets return serve the woman just grabs the cock, wanks it and sucks it. So once again, i want to be aroused, plasured by my partner, just as much as i give to her.........is that to much to ask?YOU are a sensual male .. (very rare to find) as opposed to a sexual Male which most of the population are .. embrace it .. talk to your partner .. play a questionnaire game before the event .. and encourage the use of eye masks .. its surprising how quickly your partners will change and give you the sensual experience you crave and desire....and deserve I totally agree with celebree from what youv'e stated ,I to believe you are a sensual lover dpg81 cheers pips
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RHP User
13 years ago
"I have stopped it early and just gently said "I am so sorry, but I feel we click as friends, not lovers. Lets have a cup of tea then I'll drive you to the bus stop" ... I SO love your work! :-D OP, as a few have already said, you should communicate to your partner what you want and need. Would doing so really kill the mood any more than your 'de-rection' is now?? Whilst women tend to read minds slightly better than men, mind-reading is still not the best way to communicate between the sheets. Flirty x
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RHP User
13 years ago
dpg81... Now that I am back in Oz...maybe I should have a try of you... huggies sweetpetite41 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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RHP User
13 years ago
SO from m=what i know of i am a good communicator, listener and know that i communicate to my partner about what i want. But well that also takes the fun out exploring and finding there own way. BORING. try things, you know. I dont ask what my partner wants, i just start doing things, i pick up on there beathing, there moans, there body movements. come on you know if its working or not. If not move to something else.I dont think i have had that in a long time, i feel that women (without generalising here) feel that wanking or sucking a cock is good enough. Take some time to explore ladies, find out from trying things what a guy likes.My expection is to high i feel.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'tamworthguy38' Quoting 'Morticaaa . On the occassions it has happenedto me, I have stopped it early and just gently said "I am so sorry, but I feel we click as friends, not lovers. Lets have a cup of tea then I'll drive you to the bus stop"...or something like that. . As meeka and stalky have said, it's ok to call NEXT :-) Morticiaaa......how old are the guys you are dating, that you drive them to the bus stop afterwoods......lol ?.......and do you say " don't let that bus door hit you on the way out".?............Mmmmm ok NEXT BUS I suppose ! Tam LOL...ummm, well......what can I say, student concession is such good value for money??? ;-D
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RHP User
13 years ago
Haha how times have changed. Gone are the days of men taking women to bed, having there way and rolling over to sleep. Times have changed my friend to where the pussy rules the roost.. women have evolved as sex has grown, most men have stood still. The womans body is a fine tuned sex machine (you can thank/blame the past and present male population for this) to put somew examole towards this think bad to the days of free love and the threesome or orgy taking. most guys fantasise bout two women and themselves, and so do women except........ they also fantasise about two men one female, wham there playing field has doubled. thanks to the males fascination with two girls getting it on. meanwhile the majority of men stand around with their hands on their diccks looking at one another. this leads too the fact that women now (again thanx to us) have the use of their 1. pussy 2. mouth 3rd but not last their arse. I can hear the boys now "Yeah id love to shove myself at that arse" and in the same thought think "nah mines a one way valve"now i was told as a youngin "dont dish out what you cant take back". Not many truer word said. Dont know about you but i love being ENGORGED (as sparky put it). Doesnt5 mean im gay, in fact men arent attractive and i could never love one, but i reckon i could love his cock. alll sex shops cater for women, we get a shelf, they have the shop. why because theyve evolved and we havent.To sum up we have a dick, brain and muscle and female race whilst women have tits, arse, pussy, brain and whole human race (sex shops included).. You need to think outside nthe saquare and even your playing fielddamn that was long thanx if you actually read it Sub xx Quoting 'dpg81' SO from m=what i know of i am a good communicator, listener and know that i communicate to my partner about what i want. But well that also takes the fun out exploring and finding there own way. BORING. try things, you know. I dont ask what my partner wants, i just start doing things, i pick up on there beathing, there moans, there body movements. come on you know if its working or not. If not move to something else.I dont think i have had that in a long time, i feel that women (without generalising here) feel that wanking or sucking a cock is good enough. Take some time to explore ladies, find out from trying things what a guy likes.My expection is to high i feel.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Sadly for you wanking and sucking a cock usually is good enough, you have other men to blame for making women lazy lovers :PThat being said, I find pleasure in pleasuring a man so the only time I will simply wank and suck is to end it quickly because I am not really enjoying it...Um, no not exactly true, now when I am not enjoying it I stop and leave...anyway off topic.You sound like a bit of a woman with that remark about communication spoiling the fun and how your partner should just know what you want and are thinking and do that for you because you were so awesome and read their minds...Perhaps your communication is not quite as good as you think. Your style of communication will have to change from one woman to the next as all woman are different, as are all men.If there is a woman down there sucking away and bot really doing it for you, why not try taking their head in your hands and guiding them back up to you for a kiss. Then guiding them to your neck so they can kiss and nibble and bite and all of that. When they try to go for your cock again, stop them. Make them wait, your cock is the reward if they do the other stuff right first :P Or you could try give and take. The way you have described a scenario suggests you give all your attention to the woman until she is possibly quite satisfied, then you want all that back and she is all wanting to bask in the sexy afterglow...So, try and overcome this by making sure there is give and take throughout the play time.Dirty talk leading up to play is also a good way to get across what you like and I love it when I tell someone something and they remember it when we get to the bedroom. Also, sometimes breathing and groans are not clear enough, maybe you do sometimes have to say in words what feels good.xx Salina
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Cassy_74
13 years ago
I find the best way to get what I want is to use dirty talk and guide them to what you want, then the talking becomes a part of the whole moment too..... Like I will whisper it into their ear what I want them to do with their hands or what to do on my body and it usually works and it becomes very erotic. Just have to try different things to see what works..............
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