finding a solo playmate; should i just give up?

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Sounds like you're basically in a similar dilemma to what single guys face every day, with the extra "problem" of also being attached. Got yourself into a difficult situation there! :P   I say "problem" because while many women are looking for Mr. Right, they also hook up with Mr. For The Time Being but often don't want to completely exclude that things may progress to a more permanent relationship. With you, that's impossible. So, many women would say "where can this lead?"  It's a girl thing... most of us want to know where something will lead. If a single girl likes you enough to have a mutually satisfying more permanent thing with you, chances are it won't be enough for her. An attached girl who swaps usually likes to have her partner involved too so, like you say, back to swinging.   You're perfectly right that you certainly can't compare your experiences with those of Mrs SCC, guys and girls have completely different mindsets about just about everything.   I'd say you might want to check out the polyamory lifestyle and groups... sounds more like what you're after. A deeper, more satisfying relationship could certainly be found among women who are involved in polyamory. They also live in very open relationships and often have more than one partner who satisfies them emotionally and sexually, while usually also having a primary partner.   Just a suggestion :)

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  if polyamory is something you'd be interested in knowing more about, message me... I have a few things I can't post :P lol

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Just a suggestion... try pointing out this side of your lifestyle in more depth in your profie so at least others are able to understand where you are comming from. It might improve your chances.   Arn

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I know for a fact that you're certainly not alone and there are many other male partners in your boat.    I think that Sophie has hit the nail on the head....it's a girl thing and generally we like to know where things could lead - it's something that is built into us.  Most single girls would like to leave their options open, especially if it's a regular thing and with an attached guy, those options are somewhat limited.   As far as women in couples go, well that's a whole other kettle of fish as it's not one person that makes 'decisions', it's two and no two relationships are the same.  Not all Misters feel the same way as you and are just happy and secure to share their Mrs on a regular basis with a regular playmate - especially if they aren't able to have the same with someone else.  As the Mrs of a couple, I would love to have an 'alone' playmate who I met with on a weeklyish basis and would love for hubby to have one too....but, for me, I feel like I'm pushing those boundies to breaking point even asking for it until Mr has one of his own.  Then the cycle continues....

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  being a guy, i had actually never considered the point of view of 'keeping ones options open' for most gals. that has actually made a lot of sense and i feel a lot better for you both saying that, ta muchly!i'd also like to add that this isn't supposed to be 'poor old me' thread mining for possible pity fucks either. 99% of the time i am perfectly happy witht the balance in our sex lives; i had already done a pretty full share of shagging around by the time we got married whereas mrs scc hadn't, so i'm more than happy for her to get her wild oats sown now! it's just that 1% of the time every now and then when i'd like the thrill of getting ready to go on a date that i feel like im missing out. i don't want to lie to women about my situation in order to get laid and the random club hookup thing lost its appeal a long time ago!@ sophie: the polyamory thing isn't really for us right now. i'm still far too in love with my wife to consider giving my heart to anyone else in that way. who knows, maybe one day if i meet the right person but i am still too smitten with the mrs to even consider it!<3 mr scc

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  always happy to help, Mr SCC, especially if it sheds some light on the wonderously fickle creatures that most women are ;)

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I was in exactly your boat, but had even less success than you had, in the end i decided you can only bang your head against a brick wall for so long, so i closed my solo profile, and not long after Kerrie closed her solo profile, she was over trying to find genuine women as well. So now we just have our couples profile.Cheers Nev

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Mr. and Mrs. Sexy. Maybe you should make a game with another couple, ideally with the guys [and women to really play] in the same position as you are in. The guys meet with the other women, as you desire, and of course the women desire to meet other men. Everyone’s a winner. Hopefully its ends there but it mightn’t. If it gets out of hand then if the 1st male or second female [or vice versa] have shacked up things might hot up. We might find the 1st partner banging on the ex partners door begging for a quickie. Shenanigans could happen. It’s a game where it could be unofficially allowed. Encouraged even! Partner swapping in the extreme? Or is it polygamy? Nar..It’s a game. Mars   ps agree men with blue balls are painful. We men have got that amazing and so useful weapon that allows us to piss standing up and not dribble all over our legs and women got the amazing gift to be able to play with our blue balls and we just sit back and do whatever it takes to relieve them. I could go on about multi orgasms versus one hit wonders but I won’t. Hope I don’t regret this post.

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