M46
fuck buddies?????
November 20 2012
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Maybe she wants you to say what you think you are to each other.....what on earth has she been introducing you to these people as when your there??Women will kick you to the kerb if after that long thats all you were treating her as, she may want some kind of commitment from you.
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RHP User
12 years ago
maybe the first 3 months was fuck buddies but just me her and met a couple of friends. Then it was meet the kids, even brought me breakfast to work as a suprise!!!! we've both used the love word with eachother but she takes it back. And invited to xmas with the family??????????
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RHP User
12 years ago
you asked... I believe... She is fckng someone else.. and her justification is that you and her are onlyt fck buddies.. IF she is NOT yet,... she will be soon.. She has met someone, and having serious thoughts about him.. *shrugs* but, I could be wrong.. time will tell.. keep me posted please. I would like to know.
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RHP User
12 years ago
hmmmm we are on the same wave length........ You introduce someone to those kinds of people (especially the children) when things are going further and feelings have developed. The fact she has retracted these things and is now putting a firmer boundary on the relationship makes me wonder what she is up to away from you. But then I could just be jaded. To me a fuck buddy is exactly that - you met up for sex when youre both available and nothing more. Theres no meeting family or friends. Its purely sexual. Kisses Focus
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RHP User
12 years ago
the experiences we have had in the past, inform our present.Perhaps it was something you said that she has reacted to and reminded her of another situation. Were you happy with how the relationship was going? Perhaps she developed feelings for you that scared her,hence the redifining of boundaries.I assume you have talked to her about how you feel,communication is the deal here.If she is seeing someone else then perhaps it is time for you to move on.Depends what you both want out of YOUR relationship.x R
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uneventful
12 years ago
Quoting 'Lost_Focus' hmmmm we are on the same wave length........ You introduce someone to those kinds of people (especially the children) when things are going further and feelings have developed. The fact she has retracted these things and is now putting a firmer boundary on the relationship makes me wonder what she is up to away from you. But then I could just be jaded. To me a fuck buddy is exactly that - you met up for sex when youre both available and nothing more. Theres no meeting family or friends. Its purely sexual. Kisses Focus Got to agree with both Carvy and Focus .. sounds like she she has been shopping .. and bought a brand new pair of boots ..
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RHP User
12 years ago
But I had the same feeling when reading your post, sounds like she has met another and is having serious thoughts about him but is too chicken to be honest.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I had a FWB for two years. Would would have dinner, go out for dinner, cook at home. He met my family and friends and I met his - I enjoyed his company very much, he was so intelligent, good looking, funny and just perfect, except I was still in love with my ex and did not have the same feelings for him as he had for me. I was always very honest in communicating the fact that it would never be more than FWB. It ended in hurt for him, but I was always honest - he thought that I would change my mind - nope. We are now friends after 6 years with no communication and he is with somebody who he loves and they have a little baby and I'm so happy for him :). So to answer your question, yes, you can do all the things a couple would usually do and still be only a FB.
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RHP User
12 years ago
You arrive. You fuck. You leave.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'hardtruckin2011'You arrive. You fuck. You leave. thats what my thoughts were. guess i was right to say it was more
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am really sorry Genuine, I agree with the comments above there is more to the story. Whether it's because she has met someone else or is running scared of her own feelings for you. Maybe she is a little commitment shy but you need to ask her out right what is going on. Sounds like the two of you had a relationship... Not a fuck buddy situation. Good luck, I hope it works out the way you want it too.
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RHP User
12 years ago
you are not fuck buddies. there should be no reliationship or family or anyone else to really know..this is more dude
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RHP User
12 years ago
So were does the line between fuck buddy, a FWB and a 'relationship' blur?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Wow, genuine4fun, that sounds like an awful situation. As I am looking for a fwb or fb relationship I will give you my view. Ans NO Hardtruckin that is terrible. Fuck Buddies does not mean you go in fuck then leave. Where does the buddy part come into that equation? In my opinion and experience Fuck Buddies are 2 adults that meet on occasions to have sex or party or both and still maintain some mutual relationship. While fwb, is very similar, I would say is when 2 adults are good friends enough to trust each other and confide in one another with the added benefit of sex on the side.. In your situation I would say the woman sounds like she is confused and wants the benefits from you but not the commitment. I would not think a fuck buddy would be introduced to children and parents.. Maybe a fwb if you's are good friends.. Just my opinion though, everyone is different..
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Mr_DarkChocolate
12 years ago
Quoting 'hardtruckin2011' You arrive. You fuck. You leave. u don't need more clarification then that LOL!
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RHP User
12 years ago
must be because i'm male, lol...as the girls all seem to get your point...fb - fuck buddies meet for sex, whether it be 10 min or an hour or two...a lustful relationshipfwb - fuck buddies who chat on the phone, text, spend time together, whether just for sex or companionship or friends, a very lustful relationship...anything else is getting more into a relationship, whether it be part-time or full on...so if you are doing all the things mentioned in your post then dude, you are in a relationship...ricky
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Goodvintage
12 years ago
She liked the sex, your company, looks etc....wanted to see if you fit in her lifestyle...?and decided to tell you discreetly....thanks for the sex...!
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have been in this experience where u think it is purely sex, then feeling become involved, it is no longer a a FB. When you are introduced into people outside your sexual experience, then it becomes feelings. A Fb is exactly that sex, you leave until the next time u have the urge to have sex. It simple really sex or something more, up to you where u want to take it. Dont define it, it is what is.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I love that things can be so simple... Quoting 'goodtimesricky'must be because i'm male, lol...as the girls all seem to get your point...fb - fuck buddies meet for sex, whether it be 10 min or an hour or two...a lustful relationshipfwb - fuck buddies who chat on the phone, text, spend time together, whether just for sex or companionship or friends, a very lustful relationship...anything else is getting more into a relationship, whether it be part-time or full on...so if you are doing all the things mentioned in your post then dude, you are in a relationship...ricky
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RHP User
12 years ago
Have you asked her what's going on? Rather than speculate wouldn't it be best to tell her you are confused, and especially as you have been developing relationships with the children and other members of her family and her friends?
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MissSarahCurious
12 years ago
Quoting 'Kaede' Wow, genuine4fun, that sounds like an awful situation. As I am looking for a fwb or fb relationship I will give you my view. Ans NO Hardtruckin that is terrible. Fuck Buddies does not mean you go in fuck then leave. Where does the buddy part come into that equation? In my opinion and experience Fuck Buddies are 2 adults that meet on occasions to have sex or party or both and still maintain some mutual relationship. While fwb, is very similar, I would say is when 2 adults are good friends enough to trust each other and confide in one another with the added benefit of sex on the side.. In your situation I would say the woman sounds like she is confused and wants the benefits from you but not the commitment. I would not think a fuck buddy would be introduced to children and parents.. Maybe a fwb if you's are good friends.. Just my opinion though, everyone is different.. FB to me is defined as Arrive, Fuck, Leave. It doesn't mean no talking. It does mean no dates, dinners out together or whatever, it means you aren't hanging out when the occasion isn't a meeting for sex.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Maybe you in your mind haven't defined what you want out of this situation. Maybe it is just the rejection that has left you wanting more? First define what you wanted out of the relationship in the first place, and yes an FWB is a relationship of sorts, it doesn't have to be a cold wham bam thank you ma'm/man. One needs to discuss the situation first before embarking on your sexual journey so thre is a clear understanding of what you are both wanting. FB is exactly that, in out goodbye FWB is a bit more depending on what each other wants but basically it is to meet up chit chat and then sex on an as need basis, one can have more than one FWB so maybe this might be the case with your friend, she has other FWB's on an as need basis? A Relationship more serious where you get to meet family friends, but on the other hand a FWB can be this as well, just need to sit and reflect then cut your losses and move on because it seems for her it was just that, an FWB. Realistically that is what this site is about, one should have no illusions about that and if something develops then that is a bonus(or not).
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RHP User
12 years ago
Ok Sarah, seems I have been a little confused about the whole situation.. Thanks for clearing that up for me..
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Lost_Focus' To me a fuck buddy is exactly that - you met up for sex when youre both available and nothing more. Theres no meeting family or friends. Its purely sexual. She could have met someone else.... But then she could be mad at you for not giving her a commitment (read: ring?), and this is her way of getting back at you. Or anything in between. You really need to ask her. I think everyone here agrees that you two were way more than fuck buddies. Being around her children? That's serious. I rarely allow my FBs to meet my dogs!
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm gonna have to be more careful with my W's in future. I can split all sorts of hairs over fuck buddies and friends with benefits but really what do you want from the relationship? Sounds to me like you got in pretty close (which is absolutely fine) and maybe she was waiting for you to suggest something more perpenent. Maybe that didn't happen but she is looking or at least wants you to think she's looking. You know, in that subtle way that women have that is soo subtle most men don't even realise there's a whole other conversation going on kind-a-way?
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RHP User
12 years ago
In my opinion a fb never meets kids/ family. A fwb, depends on the specifics, were you friends first then hooked up? Or did you hook up and then realize you could tolerate each other more often? For me, as soon as a woman meets my daughter, that's girlfriend territory. I don't wanna confuse my little monster anymore than she already is.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Why bother getting hung up on semantics. Whats more important is discussing with her what she wants going forward and whether that will work for you too.
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MissSarahCurious
12 years ago
Quoting 'Torturedcliche' In my opinion a fb never meets kids/ family. A fwb, depends on the specifics, were you friends first then hooked up? Or did you hook up and then realize you could tolerate each other more often? For me, as soon as a woman meets my daughter, that's girlfriend territory. I don't wanna confuse my little monster anymore than she already is. I think a lot of people confuse FWB with girlfriends. Technically with a girlfriend you'll get friendship and benefits but where do most people draw the line?Personally I'd say:Meeting the kidsAccompanying either to family or work functionsHanging out with me with the understanding that I will not be giving any benefits, ie if I'm sick or down or too tired, etc.Expectation that I'd no longer be seeing others OR understanding that we'd be in an open relationship but maintaining this one is the primary focus, ie available play times, boundaries, power of veto, etc.Anything else?
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RHP User
12 years ago
What we have here is a failure to communicate plain and simple . Only she knows the truth as opposed to all the speculation , proposed reasons . Further does she know exactly how you feel . Lets see baiser copain , somebody you just have sex with no emotion independant of all other parts of daily life , purely on a carnal level when you cant find what you looking for a bit like instant sex budda bing badda bang. A person who is just good for sex, a less extreme form of NSA, until the sex gets boring or till find new Fb usaully a short term thing as opposed to one offs . Fwb, friends first wether new or existing some one who you hang out with without commitment maybe so not independent of daily activities , not devoid of all emotion but not romantic love . the ideal situation for many. my take is she is confused between definitions and she wanted to burn you for whatever reason but no talk no insight and confused you will remain .
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'hardtruckin2011'You arrive. You fuck. You leave. So true!!! So next time someone wants me to stay for dinner or take me out for drinks, I am going to say nothing and walk out! How exhilerating!!!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
That would constitute friends with benefits. If the intention is only to fuck, then it's fuck buddy. If the intention is to hang out as well, then it's a fwb. If you involve kids, family, special occasions, weekends away, etc its a relationship.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Precisely how I define them too.
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RHP User
12 years ago
well here and update for everyone and thanks for all the comment. turns out she's a few sangas short of a picnic even with her medication which is a big shame but i just feel for the kids to be honest now
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RHP User
12 years ago
You're only 33. That's essentially my age, look forward to greener pastures :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'hardtruckin2011'You're only 33. That's essentially my age, look forward to greener pastures :) A wise man said,the faraway hills look the greenest! Thanks Dad,god rest his soul!
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RHP User
12 years ago
To which I would jump on his back and yell "giddy up!!" :p
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RHP User
12 years ago
You sound hurt that the label didnt match what you would call it... Communication is pretty important in knowing how involved and committed to become. You need to find out what she means by "Fuck Buddy". Its more than fuck buddies by my defenition however it could be a pretty develloped FWB situation? Enjoy it for what it is. If your happy what does it matter what its called? If I told someone we were "Fuck buddies" I would be saying dont ask me not to see other people and dont expect any commitment thats not already forthcomming...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yes I know Im a bit late on this one. :-)
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