RHP

RHP User

F38

honesty? Is it possible in this place?

October 15 2013

Ok so I'm not too active on the forums but thought it was time to have a rant! Haha So I was wondering why it seems so difficult for people to be honest on this site? I am pretty clear in what I'm after, no one nighters, open to a relationship but not actively looking for one. When chatting to someone I explain I am more than happy with fb or fwb, and if something more comes of it so be it, but also not after any serious relationship - something casual but ongoing. Now, that seems to be too much to ask, and I don't understand why. I seem to find both extremes, guys who are up for one night then you never hear from them again (despite them agreeing or even opening with that they are after the same sort of thing,) or the creeps who won't leave you alone and text you every 5 minutes asking what you're doing and when they can see you next. Why is it this fb or fwb things seems to be so elusive? My last fwb lasted 3yrs and was great until I moved and changed jobs and it just became too hard to find time. The one before that for a year and just grew apart. Now I haven't been able to find anyone in the last year that ticks all the boxes. Am I just being too fussy and should settle for less, or should I keep on looking and passing up all the hotties in the meantime that just want one night?... Sigh. Ok end rant! Haha- Posted from rhpmobile

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    How lucky or unlucky are you.....It's like a tug of war for you lol, enjoy it while you can...who know's maybe one of those one nighter's could end up longer lasting..   or   You could end up the duff, and still single....tragic

  • inspirit

    inspirit

    11 years ago

    Why have then all ticked?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    plenty of boxes that are ready to be ticked, but in reality 2 or 3 will do the trick and you can work on the rest later

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Inspirit has a point. You should have a few Friends with benefits who cater to different needs or tick different boxes. I mean, you are not looking for a boyfriend are you ... So they don't have to be perfect! 😋😋 Maybe it's the age group you are looking at? Men in their 20's mainly looking for ONS perhaps?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    you are finding men who say that they don't just want a ''one off' ,but until you actually have sex with someone you cant commit to an ongoing fb or fwb situation.There have obviously been men who have wanted to see you again..the ''creeps'' who message you...so for you, this is true as well.Finding a fwb or fb is not easy at any age in my opinion because there are so many variables...timing and inclination being the biggies.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I could never really suggest that you lower your standards unless it is but conscious choice after having a long think about what those standards are and are they realistic. From your post it doesn't seem like you are aiming for anything that is out of reach. You will always come across those in life who are very prepared to lie to get what they want in any arena, not just sexual. Unfortunately it is a part of life. On a practical not, perhaps there is something you can do to improve your screening of prospective lovers?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    See where meeka is coming from... Sort of organise yourself a stable 🏇🏇🏇 As long as you're honest with them and yourself... Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    But I hear you OP. How is it that Kim Kardashian can get married, divorced, meet someone else and get pregnant then marry him, and now is a proud Mum and get paid millions for fuck all and I am still looking for a date?!?!?! 😈

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Doesn't everyone want a stable? A few close lovers would be fantastic I reckon. Three really wonderful men... So where can I order that?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I dont even have time for one :P hahaBut I am not checking of the list for the perfect lover here, just one that can be honest! I am sick of being told they are single when they are married, or that they really enjoyed the night together and will call and never do. I get it, you dont know if youre compatible until youve met and fucked, but dont lie to me and say youre keen and then just bugger off. Be honest, say you had fun but dont see this going anywhere, common courtesy clearly isnt all that common anymore....I dont want to play the games, and hold out and not have sex on the first meet. Why should i wait if i want sex here and now? Why should that be a deal breaker. Granted, maybe my standards are too high these days... I have turned down plenty of good men in the last few months simply because they didnt spark my interest... but damn, it is time to break this dry spell!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I can't offer much of an answer but I definitely get the sentiments girl! 👫 *sigh* - Posted from rhpmobile

  • erotictouch4u

    erotictouch4u

    11 years ago

    We all know what happens on this site and as such should be upfront & honest...certainly afterwards if something was not as spectacular as we may have wanted. COMMUNICATION is what it is about...either to enhance the next meeting or to cleanly cut any expectations of future meetings. Being adults we should expect that not everyone will like us but some will give us the benefit-of-the-doubt to find out if there is more than meets the eye or from what we can glean from messages and chit-chat over drinks. Hence the initial meeting which you may think is a one-off when they don't communicate to you afterwards. The constant hangers-on could be the ones that you impressed so much with your skills that they just can't get enough of you ET xox

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    From my experience , its pretty hard to read people behind a computer screen.We all assume to much when we chat with people here.We hold things against people for a comment they have madeWe think we know the person's moral ethics.We are really our own worst enemy ,who build walls to protect our ego from being hurt.Just give people a go they might surprise you,and try not to judge people from behind a computer.Also honesty is a great attribute to have,we all see people for who they are in the long run!Good luck Cheers!

  • Wellhung1234

    Wellhung1234

    11 years ago

    I agree may be one of those one nights could last alot longer...- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'SubNymphette' I dont even have time for one :P haha Really? Well maybe this is the real issue. You also mention it in your OP. Impatient just a little?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'SubNymphette'Granted, maybe my standards are too high these days... I have turned down plenty of good men in the last few months simply because they didnt spark my interest... but damn, it is time to break this dry spell! But I wonder if your username perhaps attracts the kind of men you are not looking for? You also say in your profile you have a short attention span, which does not really sound like you're after something long-term. And the last three paragraps might scare off decent guys looking for something more serious, as it's rather negative. Just my humble opinion.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Even.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Y lie b straight up its so much easier and knowone gets hurt,tell each other what you want and and save the bullshit .just saying

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Totally agree and identify with what your saying. I recently have been subjected to a similar situation. Met a rhp member, had a great time, he said he wanted to come back an see me again, then vanished into the never never. No calls or messages returned. Then showed up again weeks later telling me he wanted to see me again, and not just for sex. He stayed the night, all was good. Then he left saying that he'd catch up with me for lunch, but that was the last of it again. He yet again did his famous vanishing act. Now this member knows I have feelings for him, but seems to enjoy playing with them, so in response to your comment, honesty on here, lol. Nope, it appears to be rare.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    That's a pity to hear Lisa, it sounds like he may be being less than honest about his current relationship status. For you SB, I agree your name may be attracting the ONS crowd. It is very difficult it say you'd like a friendship or similar with someone until you've met and slept with them, I think most people (in the offline world as well as on RHP) are too frightened or not articulate enough to say 'thanks it was great to meet you and I had fun but I think we should leave it at that." It may not be dishonesty as much as a fear of hurting somebodies feelings?