M39
is having afew too many validations a big turn off for you?
March 09 2015
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
Depends on the validations but if someone has a lot of validations i would think that they would not be interested in me so tend to go for those that have no friends and no validations. Desperate and lonely makes for a quick pickup, high demand A listed are only available in my dreams. So OP if you want those with lower standards cut the validations.
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RHP User
10 years ago
From the responses that you have already got,it is a problem for some people.I read your validations and most say similar and nice positive things about you.Why not choose just two to four of the ones you like and get rid of the rest....some people do like validations btw.It means that you actually exist xxFreya
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TheLuckyOne
10 years ago
Yes, too many validations are a turn off for me. But hey, you can't please everyone, right?
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RHP User
10 years ago
OP, I wouldn't call the now 11 validations you have "a few". For me it's overkill and mostly says: "Look how amazing all these people think I am".Having said that, at least yours aren't overly sexual and I do like how you are described as a gentleman and nice guy. As I said on the other thread, one guy here has 27 validations. A record to beat?
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RHP User
10 years ago
If I meet someone and they make a positive impact on me I will validate them. And I have met some great guys on here, interesting and lovely men. Not always sexual, I have made new friends here, too. And the word "lovely' and also the word "gentleman" feature in your validations, so that makes me think you are a nice person. I would keep them.Its the validations that are very explicit, eg, "he had my pussy wet and throbbing all night with his growling cock" that I pass over, they are quite humorous to be honest but make me think purely of a sex machine for hire.
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RHP User
10 years ago
One guy has 29.........
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RHP User
10 years ago
Good enough for some one , that's not a bad thing at all. I read them in expedia. That's what makes me book a hotel. The problem is like all things one girls hot root is another girls dud root. So things like your a nice guy, etc is better kind of validation. They at least show your not a fake person one would hope. That being said I know of some that validate a person they have never met. Why they do that i have no clue at all. It might promote someone too meet that person and find they are really another fake profile. My advice never validate anyone unless you meet them. I do not add friends anymore or validate. Reason is some guys have ask my girlfriends if they can pimp me out. I am guilty of pimping out my lovers , they like that idea. So it's a tad hypocrital of me not to like it done to me. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Seachange
10 years ago
to read 'SHE IS A SEX MACHINE!' But seriously, I prefer non-sexually explicit validation. I have 4 and that is the limit. Mainly people/friends saying I exist and not a sexual mirage in the middle of someone's sexual drought. Lol. I don't mind validations but do not read it often enough. I prefer to assess my attraction to a man via his profile, his message and of course his pictures. A more substantial reality-based criteria in my opinion. Hence if a man sends me an intro message without a facial pic (I specified it in my profile if they bother to read pass my profile pics. lol) no number of validations will make up the deficit in courtesy. We only have 1 chance to make a good first impression. IMO. I prefer to read validations that are non-sexual in nature. Those sexual validations that details the sexual trysts are a turn off to me. I had a drinks meet with a man recently and then he asked me for a validation, of a sexual nature. Lol. Er, NO.... If you like to collect validations like some, good for you and hope it works for you but don't solicit it from me.
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RHP User
10 years ago
To me having too many validations mean you sleep with everyone you meet. I skip people with more than two validations. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'lilyorchid' to read 'SHE IS A SEX MACHINE!' Meander has amazing breasts and a spectacular cunt.
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RHP User
10 years ago
proves they are genuine, not time wasters and are prepared to turn up and actually meet. I have given validations to guys I have met who have been nice but we have not had a sexual encounter, just so others know they are genuine even if they weren't my taste to sleep with. Just because I am not sexually attracted to someone doesn't make them horrible, I have met some lovely men that deserve to be recognised for the people they are rather than their sexual prowess. I had met one great guy, we had a coffee and a chat and it was a nice afternoon even though that was all it was, I later gave him a validation and he messaged me saying that he thinks that helped him to meet with the next person who he hit it off with so I am glad I helped him on his RHP journey.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I don't bother with them personally as I see it as self advertising and conquest achieved and I don't want to be a part of that, more than 2 or 3 would discourage me from taking it any further
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RHP User
10 years ago
as proof of the genuinity of anyone but a snapshot that on THAT meeting....they were xyz.... All it really proves is that some people accept them...and some people write them.... 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
You answerd your own question, OP. Some people you messaged... didn't like all those validations so they potentially cost you... additional meetings. So the question for you is... do you feel the validations increase the interest/chance of meeting someone who otherwise might not? My view.... no, they're a handbrake... as you found out. I see validations being a bit like a nice big smudgy fingerprint you choose leave on a nice clean glass window to show others where you've been. Ironically, the people I've seen with higher numbers of validations also seem to push the "Im discret/discrete/discreet" approach the hardest. And because you only post the validations you decide you like..... and I see 11.... and wonder..... how many people... didn't like... or wouldn't offer a positive validation that would obviously never get posted. Personally... I just think they're unnecessary... most especially the sexual reference types. DG
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Two_Tarts
10 years ago
We have asked ourselves this question a few times because we are well aware that some people will make a whole lot of inferences about us based on our friends and our validations. Yes the three and a half years we have been here have seen us make lots of friends and recieve a number of validations. But we will not change our profile, disown our friends, or delete others kind words of validation, as a public relations exercise in order to try and impress, or get lucky!, with someone new. How shallow, dishonest, and manipulative would it be to try and hide or pretend about stuff like that in order to get lucky.....a bit like the married guys who suddenly takes off their ring and become single again to try and pick up some poor unsuspecting girl at the pub.lol.. We may not meet the moral expectations of wider society, but we are pretty sure that we beat most of them hands down when it comes to behaving in an ethical manner when it comes to meeting people and the possibility of sex. While we don't like the term itself, yes we are swingers... and we suspect that if you are here then you might well be too...but either way we support everyones own choice. On those occasions when the idea that we know too many people is a turn off, or disincentive, to others when it comes to meeting us then that is ok. We were new here a few years back and we remember how we turned down people because of the assumptions we made based on their number of friends or validations. We do shake our heads and laugh at ourselves for that now because while we have seen and done more things we are still the same people with the same fairly vanilla sexual interests that we always were. We do wonder about the people we turned down for the crime of being too popular at the thing we were wanting to do ourselves. Plainly they must have been complete sluts, while we were just a more adventurous version of the pure driven snow ;-) ..lol...We do wonder exactly what number of these things it takes to taint the colour of our snow in the eyes of some...we think that the answer is the same as it was for us in the begining "more that them" ;-) For us the number of friends and validations is certainly not a turn off, or a problem, for us either way because we try to judge people on their merits in person.....But by all means give us people who have made a good impression on others any day because at least there is a better than average chance that they actually know what they are doing here, and how to do it in a relaxed, considerate, and appropriately sociable way. We won't be shoked by the idea that you might have had sex with others because you are swingers too....aren't you???? Enjoy! xxxx :-)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'we_want_to' God forbid that swingers might have sex with other people.lol... I'm just not into kissing and telling.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I agree, it amazes me that everyone craps on about being stood up, time wasters, endless messaging and the like then when it comes to admitting to actually having sex, all of a sudden you have the moral police telling you that you are doing it wrong! WTF?? I don't like calling this site a 'sex' site because for me it is much more but predominantly most people are here for sex, then they are going to judge you for having it! There seems to be a lot of talk about sexual rights, and freedom of expression of those rights, the sexual evolution of men and women to embrace their tendencies and in the next breath, you are too sexual and too free with your body. All these open minds become closed again.
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