men with learning disabilities among other things

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  It's been my experience, that most women care not about what you can buy, but what you give to them. Of course not every woman is the same though. I would suggest however, that maybe the confidence and self esteem you might wanna work on.... - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  It may reveal an intollerance, inability to empathise or a short fuse. Just this females experience. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Quoting 'Stirry' It's been my experience, that most women care not about what you can buy, but what you give to them. Of course not every woman is the same though. I would suggest however, that maybe the confidence and self esteem you might wanna work on.... - Posted from rhpmobile Thank you stirry for your input

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Quoting 'Fr33Spirits' It may reveal an intollerance, inability to empathise or a short fuse. Just this females experience. - Posted from rhpmobile yes but can women put that a side? what i mean by not getting on with other males is i got picked on a lot at a young age with my learning disability i resorted to my more primitive instincts being picked on with no self esteem or confidence will break any man or woman and it will change their behavior , Stirry was right on the money i do need to work on my confidence n self esteem. But for you confident people do you relies the difficulty a man or woman has if he or she is plagued by anxiety, negative conditioning, low or no self esteem or confidence, functionality in a person. can or do most women look past these defects that can be repaired with time or do you simply go nah that model is better and leave us guys who are looking for love or a fuck buddy where they are to collect dust.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Quoting 'Summersolstice' Quoting 'Wolf8619' You as a woman if reading this what are your thoughts on a man who has a learning disability, does not own a house but rents, has limited friends or none at all, has no car and no job but actively seeking work. I don't have a learning disability, but like you I rent, only have a handful of friends, and don't own a car. And I think that's perfectly ok.I judge men more on kindness, taking initiative, loyalty, etc. than their material possessions or social life. I'm hardly perfect (or established), and don't expect my partner to be. However, I do need a men who matches me intellectually to keep me interested, so it really would depend on the nature of someone's disability. Brave topic. My learning disability is processing and comprehension, Maths i absolutely suck at but general knowledge on various subjects I do well no subject is taboo to me, being a compassionate man and going on my own self discovery journey learning about what makes me tick what my triggers are and watching others on how they behave have taught me a lot, multi tasking is out of the question but same time i know how to clean i can do handy man work, im a computer nerd and enjoy technology, can cook basic meals if you what a 3 course meal then i would take you to a restaurant n pay for dinner i speak when i have to or want and listen to those who are speaking to me. What would women consider equally intellectual?, Talking about quantum physics, solving mathematical equations talking business ideas n how to create a business empire or have the ability to talk about the same interests and hold a conversation and come away from that being mentally satisfied?

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  it must be hard for you and more so when you were growing up, that must have been so tough. I agree with Summer, in that material possessions mean nothing to me. They did once, I just woke up and saw the light one day. You will continue to find it hard with dating, it won't be easy for you, but with any problems that seem overwhelming, I find (and I need to follow my own advice sometimes) that you're best to break it down or compartmentalise. Then the things that don't matter so much, you can put aside, and focus on the things that do. So to illustrate that, your concern over not driving/having a car, not having a job, not owning a house etc. Those things are no issue for me whatsoever, lots of guys I've met have lost their license 2 of them were long term and I would always go and pick them up, in time they got their license back, but they were reasonably close and were both amazing lovers. I never judged, just went with the way it panned out at the time. So none of that matters to me and neither would I worry about you 'not being the quickest man in the toolshed'. Sometimes, the ability to focus on one task at a time has it's benefits So now, already, we've removed quite a lot of your concerns. The confidence factor would be an issue for me personally, but that's just me, I like the confident, dominant alpha male, many women though prefer a more gradual build up, we are all very different creatures which is great. I would continue to do what you're doing, work through things that have knocked your confidence in the past, and do your best to leave behind what you can. Easier said than done I know. Also surround yourself with supportive people and distance yourself from negative people. I think being on here will be an important part of your journey and it can be very surprising how positive the online interaction can be, with some patience of course, so long as you approach it in a positive way, which you clearly are. Good luck

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  To answer your question about intellect or intelligence, and what women like, that's going to be different for every woman and hard to answer. Most of my conversing happens before I meet them not much talking when I do but I doubt women in general would be expecting you to be into quantum physics

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Quoting 'Wolf8619' But for you confident people do you relies the difficulty a man or woman has if he or she is plagued by anxiety, negative conditioning, low or no self esteem or confidence, functionality in a person. Looks are sometimes deceiving and many people are hiding their own insecurities. I deal with anxiety and self esteem issues on a daily basis due to a mental health condition and past experiences I've had, but most of the time I'm just very good at hiding them and functioning at a level that society deems 'normal' and acceptable. Even though people might not experience problems to the degree of you and I, you'll find that many are putting up a front a lot of the time. I think it's great that you can acknowledge that you have these issues, as many people are too afraid to admit it in case others look down on them for it. That you can see your issues and where they're holding you back means you are capable of self-reflection and have a good deal of insight into yourself, and that's more than I can say for a lot of people I've met who try to present a perfect image to the world. May I suggest that RHP isn't perhaps the best place for you to start meeting women. I think for you it would be much better to meet them in a casual, social setting where there are absolutely no expectations on either side. That will let you start to talk to women and become more comfortable with them. You said you're into computers, are you a member of any online computer / IT forums, or are you into gaming or any other tech stuff where there is a group you could join either online or in the real world? These days there are a lot more women getting into those sorts of things so that could be another avenue for you to start chatting with them on a purely friendship basis first. I suppose what I'm thinking of is a type of graded exposure, which is an intervention commonly used with people who have anxiety issues. You start off small and get used to dealing with something at that level, before you take it up a notch and challenge yourself further. For you, I think just being friends with women is the first step you need to take before you even think about things like dating or friends with benefits. I will be blunt...many women on RHP are looking for a certain type of man and it could be even more damaging to your self esteem to try and find women on here. Many men struggle on here and find that this site knocks their confidence around and since you already have some existing issues I would strongly suggest that this might not be the place for you, at least not right now. Whatever path you decide to take I wish you the best of luck with everything.

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  PurePeony

  9 years ago

  I agree with Summer... this is a very brave topic. You are putting it out there. Kudos! I think it all depends on what a woman is looking for. I can't speak for all women but for myself, I am profoundly intrigued by men who can outwit, outsmart, and outdo me in most areas. If a man outperforms me, and has confidence and charm to boot, it supremely turns me on. You asked about intellect. It's not solely based on IQ scores because how many of us actually bother to ask a man for his IQ score? Probably never! :P It's the ability to think outside the box, to utilise theories and concepts for real-life application, to improvise and problem-solve in a sleek fashion, to react to circumstances with smart decisions, to be able to hold a conversation on a wide range of topics (and have the EQ to know when to stop when he detects the lady's boredom! LOL!!!) Intellect is a natural extension of a curious, probing mind that constantly "flexes its muscles" through reading, pondering, writing, reflecting, problem-solving, etc. Confidence comes only when you know yourself very well and you have a healthy love of self. You can be the poorest man in the street, but have spades of confidence and manners that endear people to you. Stirry is right about working on the confidence and self esteem issues. I think we are all seeking to improve ourselves and our state in life to some degree or other. Nobody in the right frame of mind ever seeks to actively downgrade themselves for sure! Stretching this concept into relationships, birds of a feather tend to flock together. If you aren't flying with the flock that you wish to fly with, see how you can improve your circumstances so that you will eventually be able to fly with the flock that you want to fly with. Set achievable targets and goals and work towards self-improvement. Interact with more people as you go about your daily chores because that will build your confidence and improve your communication skills. When you are new to this, you can always start by acknowledging that "I am sorry if I sound nervous, because I am!". No one will brush you off because most people are helpful and people will be quick to laugh with you and not at you. I think you are taking one giant step forward in addressing these issues. I truly wish you the best in your endeavours! ;)

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  PurePeony

  9 years ago

  <3 <3 <3 your post! You're a very kind and gentle soul!

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  It takes a degree of confidence to post here let alone put up new topics,so maybe you are more confident than you think. There is no recipe for building self esteem,but be confident in what you can do,be the best at it that you can be and don't worry about your lacks. IMO emotional and social intelligence are far more important than whether or not you have a grasp of quantum physics..although we could chat about that.😆 Most women want a man to be interested in them..genuinely interested in who we are, not just how we like to have sex...I think a lot of men don't quite get this,so if you do you will be wayyy ahead. Q

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Quoting 'PurePeony' <3 <3 <3 your post! You're a very kind and gentle soul! Thank you for you kind words what you said means a lot and i agree with you most women on here just want fun or to experiment but i have found some women that are interested in finding a man for a relationship, i have the knowledge in how to be a good man for my potential partner. I actually quite enjoy the evolution of women how they have come from being just a child bearing house minding house wife to become more independent going for what they want type women fulfilling their dreams and desires. My anxiety is to great to meet people in person and im also in a lil town where potential partners are already taken for me this is my safe zone i know what im looking i know my weak spots n where to becareful so i dont get hurt however the women im looking for are limited but are here to find. Im also happy to travel maximum distance be at least 500km from my home town all i need is a chance to shine. for me its communication which is hard for me n i suspect hard for other guys too but..... Red hot pie is by far the best dating site of been on to meet new people it has the tools i require to communicate with women such as forums and webcams which ill be upgrading soon to use webcams and chat i know how to defend myself mentally so i dont get hurt n this is a place where i can soar in saying that i can gain confidence here talking to women i can get to know them behind a screen first in the comfort of my home if one don't work out start searching again just take it in steps.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  just by what few of you ladies have written has given me confidence in myself thank you :)

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Nice post and agree about friendship being a first step for the op. The only thing here perhaps that can be great is the forum and the opportunity to bounce off other people, connecting all of us, however different we are, and people here are used to being open and losing conventional judgements. That being the case, this might also be another worthwhile niche maybe along with the real world?

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  Grouse33

  9 years ago

  Wolf you really brought out a lovely side of this community with your honesty and openness. I suspect many people feel different or isolated for all sorts of reasons, including health/disability, having survived trauma, or other life circumstances. These sorts of circumstances are what make people special, and interesting to others. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, while I don't face your barriers, I share some of your feelings. Thanks for expressing them. Best of luck with your search, and remember to cast a wide net - there are lots of ways to meet people offline which can be socially rewarding too. If only I could take my own advice... - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' The only thing here perhaps that can be great is the forum and the opportunity to bounce off other people, connecting all of us, however different we are, and people here are used to being open and losing conventional judgements. That being the case, this might also be another worthwhile niche maybe along with the real world? Yep definitely agree with you there.

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