M53
nice vs confident vs arrogant
May 21 2016
Comments
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sweetgem
9 years ago
Being over confident can be seen as arrogant 😋 I'm not saying that that is your case Winmor, but for you to say that being arrogant seems to work better, it is not a good vibe to carry for yourself and for people around you to feel :) I am not judging you Winmor, don't get me wrong. I am just saying that we tend to attract what we put out there first :) But why do you want to have sex with your female friends? Or are they the friends you met on RHP or from other similar sites? I'm a bit confused! Maybe my brain has reached its resting time 😝 To answer your question......no, being normal will not be seen as lack of confidence! But it does depend on what do you mean by "normal" and how do you define "normal" :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
you're onto something here yes arrogance is the scent that draws me and you highlight the different behavior that attracts different agendas IMHO but the difficult thing is there is no formula and so difficult for men to please all women, because we're all so different, and may have a different order of events in mind. But it is why I now don't make friends with guys if I want them to fuck me good lol that comes first well I do have to respect and like them and consider them part time friends kind of BUT the sex comes first. If that works, I'll be friends with them, if not, I throw them to the kerb
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RHP User
9 years ago
joking with that last statement
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RHP User
9 years ago
Is not arrogance,arrogance is very unattractive IMO .A confident man who has social and emotional intelligence is incredibly attractive. Perhaps your women friends are not sexually attracted to you OP but do like you as a friend. Perhaps they pick up on your desire to fuck them and they keep you at arms length. Appreciate the fact that you have some great women in your life and you never know ,they may have friends they can introduce you too,but stop seeing them as fuck bait. Q
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RHP User
9 years ago
As your version of nice, may be being received by women as lacking in confidence.... And your version of arrogant May just be being received as confident..... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
...and really nice guys make sure she finishes first and second! Just be confident in who you are and the rest will follow accordingly...personality is not a one-size-fits-all sort of thing so just keep on keepin' on until you meet your match. Good luck!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Turns me off. Had a message from a guy who told me he had lots of experience in the swinging scene and told me to check his validations. Nothing about him at all, just his prowess. So I was basically being messaged by a fucking machine. I prefer nice messages. These are the ones I will read and decide to meet as I dont do one off hook ups. If I did then sure, I would meet Mr Rent a Cock.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Im not an arrogant guy. I am confident sometimes but can be shy at times too. I also very easily make female friends, some i have slept woth and others are nothing more then close friends. One girl in particular was amazing. She was beautiful (not 10 out of 10 or a super model, but very attractive, fit, healthy and a great personailty). Her one and only real flaw was when it came to men, attracted to arrogant assholes who played on her beautiful personality and left her as a crying mess.. she went on like this for about 3 years/ 4-5 relationships. After all that we got a little drunk one night and hooked up followed by another session the next morning. She told me i was the best she ever had and she couldn't believe how much she enjoyed the sex, "that i was the best she ever had". Apparently she believed that a "nice guy couldnt possibly make her cum or feel that satisfied" (her words not mine although i wasnt at all sad to hear it lol). Few more years have passed now and she still messages me asking if or when we can give a relationship a shot. My point is that some women have a warped idea in their head that only a "bad boy" can give them what they want and most of them one day realise how wrong they were. Arrogance usually goes hand in hand with selfishness, therefore sex is all about him. Be yourself and when you do get into bed with a woman make sure she dam well remembers it 😉 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Whoops middle paragraph i screwed up a little - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Nice guys don't always finish last...but confident guys will finish on the podium. The rules I live by are short and simple. Don't be a pussy, women can smell fear. If I really want something...be confident and take the plunge. If not, then I dont really want it that much. No loss. Be honest, genuine and up front. Lies take too much effort to maintain. That's about it. This doesn't mean I get layed regularly...just that I'm content with my returns for the amount of effort I'm putting in. And I dont see anything wrong with sleeping with a friend. Isn't that what the best relationships should be forged on? Everything just needs to be clearly defined. There's nothing wrong with asking a single female friend if she wants to sleep with me, should the occasion crop up...but I wont push the matter or ask again when she says no. I dont see why friends and sexual partners should be two, mutually exclusive groups of people.
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Winmor.... its less about arrogance/confidence/nicety than you think...... because those are often a case of perspective. What one person perceives as arrogant, another considers bold and attractive. And what some think is kind and empathic, others can perceive as soft or submissive. What you are experiencing is a case of presentation. How you present to others through your communication. After all, you're the same person whether following your nice, or arrogant attitude. You can calibrate a personality.Perhaps instead of trying to get "a fuck"..... try seducing the world around you all the time, by being charismatic, interesting and bold.
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Livingandloving2
9 years ago
Self assured gentlemen however, who are clearly comfortable in their own skin, are very attractive to me. IMHO I would need to be friends - as in- I would need to like a guys personality, before I would be sexually interested. So for me.... Nice guys get the vote Mrs LAL - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
For me a man that is genuine, authentic, confident, charming and make makes me feel sexy is a sure thing A man that is all those things but acts as my friend and doesn't flirt or make me feel sexy is a mate Arrogance is a person with all the above but is an arsehole To me arrogance usually equals someone who isn't very nice and doesn't treat others well. As a general rule
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RHP User
9 years ago
Nailed it on the head, it's all about perception. I am mostly attracted to guys with quiet confidence, intelligence and a sense of humour. HaF guys with attitude to boot do nothing for me, but I will toy with them to bring them down a notch (in chat I mean) You can calibrate a personality.Perhaps instead of trying to get "a fuck"..... try seducing the world around you all the time, by being charismatic, interesting and bold. This is pure gold.
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RHP User
9 years ago
IMHO Arrogant = Self-centred / selfish. All about them. Confident = Balanced. Nice = Selfless. All about you. Personally I would class myself as typically between confident and nice. But the name of the game is versatility. Mix it up. There is a time for cuddles on the couch and sometimes time for restraint and toys. Depends on the lady and the mood. In a 15 round bout you don't want to just repeat round one 15 times. Variety is the spice of life.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Summersolstice' Arrogance = No Confidence and boldness = Yes I'm curious to hear what you guys and gals feel what exactly the difference is? Would love to hear your own personal definitions for both. Confident people are willing and able to admit when they are wrong and will take others' ideas and opinions on board. Arrogant people will very rarely if ever admit that they are wrong or take others into account...they're always right in their eyes.
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RHP User
9 years ago
...Confidence is believing in myself. That's all. Not necessarily believing that I'm going to succeed with everything I try or have a go at...but just believing that it's a possibilty if I try. As opposed to not trying...for whatever reasons...fear, lack of confidence, doubt. Of course, this applies to everything I try. At the moment Im having a go at woodcarving. It's coming along nicely. Quietly confident... 😊
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cat_n_the_hatter
9 years ago
“Self confidence” is overrated. Same as false modesty. It is nothing else but a concealed arrogance. Some men confuse self confidence with arrogance and power ( Trumps and Murdocks) Men think women smell fear. No. They smell deceit..or a man's need for immediate gratification. Some women do. There is nothing wrong with doubting yourself. That way your mind grows. Some men are deeply unhappy with who they are and how their lives are going that it vibrates. Our confidence should never be based on our looks or if someone likes us. No one has to like us. Real confidence comes from the richness inside, warm heart and a curious mind. We should find ways to build confidence that comes from our place in the this world and be happy with small things. Lovers charisma may come from confidence, but it's not the same.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Is Confidence the same as Hope? Maybe. I think they share much. Neither has evidence to back them up.Being confident of myself doesn't mean I expect things to turn out as I want them to be. I think that believing in the possibility of failure is more accepting of life than expecting to win all the time. Nobody wins all the time and forever.And, of course, failure comes in different degrees too. Stuffing up a cake recipe that just doesn't rise can be as bad as getting a knock back for a second date if that's your thing.Confidence. Let the fear go, train yourself not to stress the little things. Which is most things.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Is confidence hope? Hope for the best perhaps..but isn't there uncertainty in hope?...I think confidence is certainty,no doubt.But can one person be confident in all areas of their life? I think the confident person accepts the lacks and doesn't obsess over them,try to fill them. The confident person accepts themself just as they are Q
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RHP User
9 years ago
...the confident person would be wise to accept that almost nothing is for certain.Uncertainty...I think...is part of accepting that there are other possible outcomes than the one we desire. I agree, Qefenta...the confident person shouldn't sweat the little things. What they are, is usually just that.
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Quoting 'Koolgrey' ...the confident person would be wise to accept that almost nothing is for certain.Uncertainty...I think...is part of accepting that there are other possible outcomes than the one we desire. I agree, Qefenta...the confident person shouldn't sweat the little things. What they are, is usually just that. The answer to those comments is that a confident person doesn't sweat over things... because they know... that whatever the situation they find themselves in.... ... they can deal with it, they can manage it, and they can either resolve it if need be, or let it flow if it can't.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'd hate to think anyone see's me as arrogant . It's a trait I despise so I try to make sure it's not a part of my personality . Being self assured apposed to those alternatives seems the better option. I deal with both confident and arrogant people most days and don't see alot of difference between the two.
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
I find your comment interesting. A dictionary definition of self-assured lists someone as "confident in ones own abilities or character".... and a synonym being self-confident. So by those definitions, if you feel arrogant and confident are the same, then so too is self-assured. Where do you feel self-assured differs from confident=arrogant? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I knew someone would have something to say.. I don't check the dictionary every time I write something... I'm not that fickle.
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Now I'm trying to work out if your reply was (a)self-assured, or (b)confident/arrogant ... lol 😄 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Go ahead. Once you work it out write it on a piece of paper , crush it then throw it in the bin... That's all it's worth.
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RHP User
9 years ago
This is developing into am interesting thread. Confidence can mean many things. Re: Confidence vs Hope. Hmm. I think that confidence is based on evidence. You hope that things will go well when you do something for the first time. The level of confidence felt for subsequent attempts is based on experience...successes and failures. Using your example: Woodcarving. Were you to be an accountant that didn't know the difference between a chisel and a rasp...you would hope that you do well. Were you to be a jack-of-all-trades, then you would have a degree of confidence borne from similar experience. Good or bad. So it depends on your experience in a given field as to how much confidence you feel. I think that arrogance is displaying undue confidence and not being open to anything contrary. But it is hard for someone to see inside your head. Personally, I have been perceived as arrogant at times, because I am very confident in some areas. Typically, when those that thought so come to know me better, they change their perspective to respect, when they realise that the confidence in that area had significant basis. On the other hand, I have been perceived to be quite inept in certain arenas and rightly so. I am far too transparent to arrogantly feign knowledge in a subject for which I have little. To bring that to a whole...a general presence...It is the summation of our successes and failures. I possess a certain overall confidence that comes from knowing that those that look upon me don't know me. I live in a camp of 7000+, 90% are manly construction workers, and I confidently mix with them being just me...tie dye, hippy pants and all. Some look at me from their cluster of other manly men and you can read their minds..."poof", "drugged out hippy". But I can smile. While they sit having manly man time getting as pissed as possible, I am quietly chatting with beautiful, sexy, intelligent woman and thinking "You guys wouldn't know how to pleasure a woman if you had the instructions tattooed to your arm". Whereas the feedback that I get from ladies that I have been intimate with has been outstanding, because I am a nice guy. So why would I care what they think. Call me a poof...you're the one that prefers the company of men. Not me. Similarly outside of work...walking through a shopping centre...the looks of "dole bludger", "space cadet" don't bother me. No, Senior Project Engineer actually. Graduated with honours, bigger money than you could dream of...but they don't know that, so I walk on by...head high...with confidence. Actually the positive feedback in turns of smiles from the ladies and "love ya shirt/pants man" far outweighs the negative looks. Revising the OP, I have gone off track. However, in address to the OP title "nice vs confident vs arrogant".... I am sometimes perceived as Arrogant because I am very Confident that I am a Nice guy that women like to have sex with. Hence, to the OP...You might be perceived as Nice, Confident, Arrogant or other. How people view you is completely personal. You just need to be you and be confident in being yourself.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'SNAG4XTC' I possess a certain overall confidence that comes from knowing that those that look upon me don't know me. I live in a camp of 7000+, 90% are manly construction workers, and I confidently mix with them being just me...tie dye, hippy pants and all. Some look at me from their cluster of other manly men and you can read their minds..."poof", "drugged out hippy". But I can smile. While they sit having manly man time getting as pissed as possible, I am quietly chatting with beautiful, sexy, intelligent woman and thinking "You guys wouldn't know how to pleasure a woman if you had the instructions tattooed to your arm". Whereas the feedback that I get from ladies that I have been intimate with has been outstanding, because I am a nice guy. So why would I care what they think. Call me a poof...you're the one that prefers the company of men. Not me. aren't you both doing the same thing, just using different derogatory terms?
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Kree_Jaffa
9 years ago
Mr. I'm always thankful that the line between looking confident & arrogant is so clearly defined, and also so consistent from person to person :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Fair call. We all make assumptions about others and those assumptions can only be proven or dispelled if we take the time to get to know the real person that lurks inside. So back to the OP... Be open and let your feelings be known. You may find that some of your mates feel the same way and are just waiting for you to make a move.
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
I think we all worked it out.
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RHP User
9 years ago
You and ?
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