M43 F43
no time, pft
September 10 2009
Comments
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byronlis
15 years ago
just organise it arrange a meeting place drag him along and i'm sure he will get into it
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RHP User
15 years ago
Sounds like your hubby is a bit intimidated, or simply isn't too keen on the whole thing, and is using work to fob you off. Have you guys discussed this thoroughly? Perhaps you could discuss alternate ways to enhance your sex life sans swinging first, say, like roleplay, or BDSM, or something; then sort of ease him into the idea of swinging. For a man to consider swinging, or more accurately, imagining someone with his missus, is extremely intimidating - his first reaction may very well be to pound the offending party into the ground. Or, to take a step back, just ask him outright what he reckons is suitable for enhancing your sex life (not necessarily swinging). He might have some surprises in store for you. In order to speak to him about anything though, you'll have to pick a non-confronting time. For us, that's typically after dinner - when one is full and sated (preferably with a glass of good wine or two), we find it easier to discuss serious topics, from money to sex to in-laws. Your mileage is going vary, for certain. Just lay things out in a logical, non-threatening manner (no accusations!), and discuss things without heat, and of course, with lots to re-assurances that you'll love him come hell or high water. There was another thread sometime ago, about a wife and her husband having some problems with introducing swinging into their lifestyle, or some similar situation. Might be worth your while to search through the forums for that thread and have a browse through.
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RHP User
15 years ago
From what you have written...it sounds like you are doing this more for "you" than for "us".NOT that thats a bad thing!Perhaps you need to tell him....be honest with him?Maybe he thinks you arent satisfied with him anymore? If he does....then of course he isnt going to want to see you being pleasured by someone else....that would only reinforce his feelings.How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot??You guys need to sit down and have a serious talk...and you yourself need to decided whether swinging is important enough to risk your relationship for...or would you find alternatives to keep your relationship fulfilling?Good luck....I hope it all works out for the best...whichever road you take.Just my opinion...BJxxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
I know how he feals wants to go out more but have to pay bills work out stuff fix things do tax guarrrg
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RHP User
15 years ago
It sounds to me like you need to talk some more about this until those grunts start being articulate. Hugs Gaz
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RHP User
15 years ago
I would say he just isn't that interested for whatever reason. It might be intimidation, it might just be that he isn't into the lifestyle but doesn't know how to tell you. Definitely don't drag him along somewhere as there is the other couple to consider who have to meet you both and if one is totally not interested it makes it a huge waste of time and makes everyone uncomfortable. K.
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RHP User
15 years ago
maybe you could go to a club, that way there is no pressure because you won't feel guilty like you've wasted someone elses night if you don't play, and you can explore things, watching, same-room, etc. Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Very difficult to comment when not getting the husbands side at all . . . . But noticed your profile says Bi-Curious Why not try suggesting a extra single girl first . . . not many men would shrug at the option of a threesome with 2 women . . . and it will provide a gauge about "swinging" with couples - whether he may be uncomfortable about you with another man - or just not interested. But do nothing - without talking and agreement.
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RHP User
15 years ago
thanks everyone,we have talked about it so much its not funny and he says hes into it, and we have also played a few times. once with a couple and once each alone and a 3some with a mate(male). all was fine then.miss bj im def not going to risk what we have for this, its totally not worth it. i actually dont mind the thought of him going out and fucking someone else i know he loves me and is coming home to me.anyway im not giving up, we had a little chat, our place is when we are driving no one can escape and its usually quite calming, and decided i will continue looking and he will when he has the time. lol.thanks every one. xxxxxwe also live in a small country town, part of the problem really, so going to a club is not really an option. need more people on here willing to travel. !!!!!!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
As you have mentioned doing it for us - it therefore really has to be something that you both want to do and are both involved in...Can't be said enough really commmunicate communicate communicate....Don't expect too much too soon I guess..We are all on the journey of life and some of us travel at different speeds and want to take different paths....Goodluck with it
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bluelight_taxi
15 years ago
Like Kileetrev said Gee ucky I'm not walking up those steps behind Kileetrev otherwise I'd end up with concussion from having a crack on my head. Ps: loved your boots as well. Cheers Peter - bluelight_taxi
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DonnaBrett
15 years ago
OMG! Work more important that your relationship & having fun?? I (male part of couple) can not understand that train of thought???Yeah we need jobs to survive..but you're a long time dead..you need to live it up now! I've been in the work force 30 plus years and I have never worked a weekend! I enjoy living too much to waste it. Get him away from that job and back into life in general & then tackle the swinging side of things!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Get him a hot girl and I'm sure he'll change his mind
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RHP User
15 years ago
I know it sounds trite, but you can't let work take over your life. apart from that pithy little sentence, all I can really say is that I agree with all thats been said in here so far. good luck, and good hunting.
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RHP User
15 years ago
i know i know, but work is his life he is the manager of a business,and studying, and a young one at that.so he feels he needs to prove himself as all the investor are loaded and expect a lot from him. they have money, time and adult kids so dont necessarily see how much time they take of his. oh but anyway, getting him a hot girl sounds like a plan any offers?
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