open marriages

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  I want my children to own themselves completely and have full say in what they do with their lives and their bodies. I want to raise them to have open minds and open hearts. If they decide they ever want to get married I would secretly hope that it's an open one. So they never feel tied to one person only sexually or even romantically. But I would never try and influence their decision. Being monogamous is a choice - it shouldn't be a given when you enter a committed relationship or marriage. I want my children to feel they can be open with their sexuality whether that's their sexual preferences or how they manage intimacy and life long partners.

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Is none of mine!

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  AnnieWhichway

  8 years ago

  Had an open marriage.Just my mum didn't know about it.......

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  my experience with kids is they don't always follow what you do. I always wanted mine to be individuals and make their own choices. Mine are probably shocked or horrified at what I do but they're nice enough not to tell me that lol but both are very monogamous, at this point in their lives. Who knows what path they'll take in the future, but at least they know there are options, and absolutely no judgement from me no matter what. That's the important thing I believe Although I'm single now, future relationships will have to be open, but I expect none of my lifestyle influences what my kids do

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Bit like Annie, I sat down with my Dad at Xmas and had a good chat. There was a bit said that didn't really surprise me. My parents did not have an open marriage but it seems my father got away with more than my mother knew or let herself know. I'm happy to have married parent role models. Less happy that my mother (to me) seems more bendable than she could have been. No one wants to get all bent out of shape. She's a touch perplexed by her daughter also. 😁 I was very happy monogamous, ok swinging and much better again (even when failing) poly. As long as there is trust you can have pieces of a few cakes. Watching trust die a painful death is much worse than watch love die. I'd prefer my kids to spend more time on other things than their sex lives. I can see the vanity in it and I chide myself for participating so willingly. ~selfie anyone? - longest. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Same here. Though she did eventually find out.

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  My daughter could easily marry a girl and see men or vice versa.

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  Mischeviouslad

  8 years ago

  I've heard monogamy compared to flying. IE, We're not built for it but if we really put our minds to it we can find a way to make it happen. It's therefore a choice, as is entering a relationship in whatever form that takes. As long as all involved are pursuing the same common dream, that relationship can take any number of direction changes. I often think that swinging relationships or open relationships, ultimately, must face the reality that for at least one party, come to an end... due to age, circumstance, health, family etc - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Lucky enough to witness my parents marriage which has definately lasted the distance - 40 years. Both completely in love with one another, and watched both of them maintain themselves and there monogamous relationship. I too thought I could go out into the world and explore. But at the end of the day I was brought up to aim high, and if you could liken it to playing with toys. I was always happy with my toys as I always had the best toys and never wanted someone else's toys lol.. I cherished my own toys and well got creative with my toys as they aged. Playing is something I would only do together with my best mate and that's what I discovered about myself. As for my child I would hope I would not judge him, and would like him to aim high too and focus on life as a whole not just sex. If you define yourself on your sex life many will be disappointed, I think it's best if can learn to look after yourself first. Work hard, educate yourself, travel and meet people but definately have boundaries. And the right person will be attracted to you and will stand by your side and maybe have similar goals and dreams.

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  AnnieWhichway

  8 years ago

  My parents situation was my first experience into the world of open marriages. He had an affair with another married woman who convinced her husband to accept the arrangement. My father brought the lover into his family arena where she became best friends with my mother who had no idea. After several years the 2 of them confronted my mother, hand in hand and asked her to accept the arrangement of her cooking and cleaning and accepting the emotional abuse when he drank. She refused. The lovers husband confronted my mother and pleaded and pleaded with her to accept the arrangement so he wouldn't lose his wife to my father. She refused. She was a country girl brought up with strict morals. For 30 years after she was never with any other man. It took all her will to survive that episode in her life and she lived by herself almost till her death at 91. Remember, an open narriage us a choice by both people. It is not something to be forced onto someone. It takes communication and love of course. Not for everyone. I still reflect on the situation that my parents were in. I still haven't worked it out from the trauma we all experienced. Life is a bit of everything

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Have always been a bit out there, they have both had affairs/lovers over most of their lives together, my mum was jealous at times but they seemed to work it out as they were both very sexual. Us kids were aware and so were our friends as we got older. They are still together, in love but without any playing at all any more, too old (so they say). - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  As far as we know, our parents have "closed" marriages (allegedly). We currently have an open marriage, but no children yet. We would want our children to be able to choose, as our choices might not reflect theirs. We believe the sad part is when you do not know that you CAN choose, as opposite to having to follow what society "imposes" as the ONLY way to be happy. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  My foster parents were swingers. She was to say later he made her do it. It was part of an over sexualised experience of life that led me to an over sexualised experience of life throughout my teens and early 20s. It was not satisfying. It was meeting hubby around then that made me decide I wanted and needed more solidarity in my life. He is my rock. Close to 20 years into our relationship, after close encounters with a couple we were friends with, we thought about exploring outside our relationship with more intent. There are some hot memories in the few years we were 'active' together. Circumstances of all sorts in the years since then has us more satisfied with each other than before... and focused on exploring the enjoyment of our time together. Peachy

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