play time to tire for...

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  although I am interested in any replies from people who do. I love your username

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  MsSuperFoxy

  8 years ago

  What do you mean by health issues? Is it metal, physical? The only fatigue I get is when I come off my 12hr nightshifts. It's more like I want to be left alone and need my time to recharge. The last thing I want is someone in my face. Sometimes, I can't even hold a conversation. My mind , body and soul is just exhausted. Out of wack so to speak. I just need 24hrs of freedom, that's all. My friends and family respect that 24hr period. If I'm given that, I'm right to go. Ms Foxy

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  thank you luck_dragon :) i guess cats, pokemon & being a bit naughty go together sometimes :P yours does remind me of the neverending story, falcor the luck dragon! and thank you for the reply superfoxxxy, it is mostly physiological fatigue, due to some coinfection/s, without going into too much details, but clearly not something the average healthy person would ever experience to the same degree or in the same way but thats a good point you make, about needing recharge time.

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  PurePeony

  8 years ago

  ... there may be a two-pronged approach. One is quicker to enforce, the other takes a longer time and is via trial-and-error. The faster mode of action would be for the more energetic partner to take the lead and do most of the heavy lifting. The partner with fatigue issues can just lie back and enjoy the view and the stimulation. That partner may also play-pretend to be a Dom, "commanding" the more energetic partner to do certain stuff, provided both are into the Dom-Sub thang, of course. The second thing I can think of is for the affected partner to seek a viable solution to the issue. How may the health issues be handled so that the level of fatigue may be decreased? Medication? Supplements? Diet? Exercise? Better sleep hygiene? Counselling? Chronic fatigue with multiple pathological etiologies can be very hard to address. Some medications have the nasty undesired side effect of suppressing sexual libido and urges. If that is the case, are there alternatives? Oh hmm... just thought of another possible solution - how about prolonging foreplay whilst in a relaxed mood? Passive foreplay, eg groping, fingering, touching, whilst relaxing on the couch watching TV together? OP, it's sad when health conditions rear their nasty heads and strike one's partner. But where there is love, there is always hope! Improvisation, a positive attitude, and creativity may save the day! I hope that things will improve for the two of you. Chin up!

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  PurePeony

  8 years ago

  Argh! 12 hour night shifts?! *faints... Somedays, I go through 10-14 hr workdays and if I'm designated a key role, by the end of the workday, I'm like a Walking Dead! Times like that I'm so glad I can head home and don't have to talk to anyone. If I have a series of long workdays, life starts to feel meaningless - out of the house at dawn when it's still deathly quiet and dark, and back home when it's dark. Frozen food, takeaways, leftovers... And no housework will be done until the body recovers from the gruelling hours. I feel your pain, sista! But... ... sex... hell yeah! Always the best way to start and end the days! I've been known to lie in bed like a dead fish but suddenly spring to life for a quickie, and then plop back to the land of the living dead! Used to shock my ex-boyfriends! LOL!!!

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Hi there Pokemenow... I speak from experience. Having a physiological condition that causes fatigue that makes even getting out of bed difficult sometimes is a challenge for both parties. Especially if the condition is 'invisible' to others and meds cause additional problems. The person suffering from the fatigue often finds it difficult to explain how they feel to others who do not. The person who doesn't have the fatigue can only imagine how it feels. Planning a fun time together can be an issue if fatigue hits and the fun is curtailed or postponed. This can breed resentment and guilt over time - no matter how caring the relationship. Great communication skills - being open and honest with each other - is essential. Practical advice - * Be prepared to change plans without guilt * Be adaptable - look at various ways you can enjoy each other * Reduce other fatigue inducing activities - gardening, housework, sports - if this is impacting on fatigue* Ensure adequate nutrition and hydration* Is there a particular time of the day, month year where fatigue is more pronounced? If so, try and plan around the times* Vitamins - I take additional Vitamin D especially in winter as my ability to make and retain this is affected. Have the dr test you for your level - especially if auto immune. * The party suffering from fatigue lies back and enjoys the ride - but only if they feel up to it. Never feel pressured into sex. Both parties need to agree to this aspect* Experiment with what you can do as the person with fatigue. Use anticipation and delayed gratification (sometimes very prolonged and interrupted) as foreplay. Take a breather! I hope this helps. Be well - both of you.XXX

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Quoting 'pokemeow' thank you luck_dragon :) i guess cats, pokemon & being a bit naughty go together sometimes :P yours does remind me of the neverending story, falcor the luck dragon! He was my inspiration I'm very interested in how various health conditions and disabilities affect sexuality and sexual activity (very relevant to my study / future work area) so am following this thread with interest.

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  thanks for your take on that. we certainly are very playful with each other, and snuggling is a big thing we enjoy, given that any time (tired or otherwise) its always something she enjoys (myself included). naked snuggling, even more so, body heat never disappoints :) the health issues combined with changes in hormones and other things that not just affecting energy but the goings on down there, do get in the way at times of when she would like to get busy, but thankfully the above is always a good alternative. maybe her health will get better, i certainly hope so, theres definitely quite a bit of money having to be spent regularly on naturopath visits (they seem to be one of the few who understand and care, outside of a few specialised doctors) for various supplements, mixtures etc... your response is most greatful :)

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Quoting 'TimeWillTell16' Having a physiological condition that causes fatigue that makes even getting out of bed difficult sometimes is a challenge for both parties. Especially if the condition is 'invisible' to others and meds cause additional problems. The person suffering from the fatigue often finds it difficult to explain how they feel to others who do not. The person who doesn't have the fatigue can only imagine how it feels. ---------- you hit it on the head there! invisible it is indeed, although she "looks" what some would consider fit and healthy, shes certainly not that on the inside in many respects. not to mention when people question her about it, or brush it off as though it will magically get better or she should simply just relax more or do more. i must admit, having been with her now almost 2 years (in september it will be) i have certainly learned a lot about what she goes through and become more involved with advocacy and support for it, a shame that the government is still yet to take it seriously. she would love to do a lot more than what she can right now and i hope she gets to, shes a bright girl, but we are getting there, albeit slowly with some things more than others. thank you for sharing that you are also dealing with what may be something similar, atleast from the fatigue side. its sharing things like that which will help with the motivation to keep up the fight for what she wants :) i must admit, i havent shown any of this to her yet (as she does have ongoing anxiety also, which is managed, but she can be a bit self conscious about getting into discussions like this or in general without knowing people). i thought it would be a good idea to jump on and start this conversation as one of the parts in helping us deal with this and get a better appreciation for what others may be similarly dealing with "in the bedroom". while also perhaps being another avenue for us to explore our sexual side in other ways that fill in some gaps where we have to compromise at times. if that makes sense???

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Quoting 'Luck_Dragon' falcor the luck dragon! He was my inspiration I'm very interested in how various health conditions and disabilities affect sexuality and sexual activity (very relevant to my study / future work area) so am following this thread with interest. ---------- ha, brilliant! great to see some other (perhaps nerdy?) types embracing such things :) as for your study/future work area, is that something you would care to share here? my girlfriend has done a bachelor in psychology, she was recently undertaking a PhD, but due to the health issues mainly with the fatigue, the schedule/demands which were being put on her for the clinical part of her research were becoming a bit much. unfortunately the uni was not as accommodating as i wished they could perhaps have been with her, so she ultimately had to pull out of that, much to her disappointment. though, we have already explored some other things for her to be involved with and do...

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  From what you have said, it appears as if you truly care to know how you may help her - especially without triggering further anxiety. If we can't have an open dialogue about health issues that impact on our sexual enjoyment on this site, where can we? It's not always easy to discuss with your doctors and if you are looking for gratification outside what is society's 'norm', there is even more reluctance to discuss with health professionals. Having said that, it took me a little while to consider whether I should write anything on this post. I do not like people who do not know me (let alone have not met me) to know about my health challenges. However, your caring and concern for your partner outweighed my desire to keep my issues to myself. I have had an auto immune disease that was diagnosed when I was 21 - yes a long time ago now! - but it took 4 years to work it out as I am one of those people that is outside the usual. Just my luck! :) So I understand the frustration in knowing there is something wrong but no one believing as it is either not yet diagnosed by a doctor or somewhere outside the norm. As I still look 'normal' and the disease has few outwardly visible signs I also understand how that can feel. If you would like to discuss outside this forum, please message me. I will be happy to chat further and provide any further insight. As I'm new to the site and these forums, I'm a little wary of sharing more here when it comes to my health. I am a private person in general so not knowing who is reading these posts is a concern for me. Be well. x

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Quoting 'TimeWillTell16'If we can't have an open dialogue about health issues that impact on our sexual enjoyment on this site, where can we? ------ indeed, exactly! certainly one of the great things i appreciate about rhp, there is a well maneged forum to facilitate such communication without any feeling of sillyness or otherwise. and i appreciate your willingness to open up, hopefully you have been doing well-enough in the years since. i have sent a message, look forward to talking further :)

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