please tell me what u think ??

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  playfulminx

  13 years ago

  Not being angry doesn't mean that you don't value yourself or have self esteem issues. It sounds like you're reacting rationally. You've only known this guy a really short time and unless you've made huge declarations of love and exclusivity between you two, this sort of shit just happens I guess? The only thing that should concern you is the usual safe sex issue and if indeed you do want to pursue something long term with this guy, that the same sort of thing doesn't happen again (and alcohol used as a convenient excuse). I think you're handling things fine for what it is and I don't doubt you'd get plenty mad if your trust was broken.

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Errrrm there's no point being angry. Perhaps you might like to take this opportunity to ask for a day pass... and see how he reacts to the idea... it could open your relationship to new prospects and a closer understanding. Hugs Stalky

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  No blame

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  ...and 10 nights gone? If he shagged her...I can only suggest she might be bi but with a preference, and how good is that? Share the expenses and the housework, she's bringing home her girlfriends to prance around (reading between the lines) and a bit of drunken boredom together and eeeeee-haw, party time...and now he's back in the saddle with you? | I want this guy's job...mine sucks air. | Anger isn't going to help one little bit although venting what you feel is always good. Feelings are never right or wrong...they're just your feelings. Too early to call it a relationship of merit perhaps and you are worth exactly what you believe you are worth. This one's about him...not you, he should be checking the balance in his own net worth account and it sounds like you haven't done much joint investing as yet. | Financial and emotional planning 101...always maintain separate accounts.

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Just because you dont value yourself any less and you did not get angry, it sounds as if your man friend was expecting you to be. Okay so you are living the RHP secret life that he does not know about and you are all cool with that. BUT personally I think you may need to have a little talk with your frined about open relationships, friends with benefits and what that means to you and for the friendship between the two of you. It is all very well saying that as you are not in a committed relationship you have no rights to complain. He may see things differently and your lack of reaction may just be seen by him that you simply do not care. This gives him the right to do exactly as he pleases, sleep with whom he likes without any dramas at all. In short, he may just use you. If you care about this person or you see the relationship progressing beyond the casual I suggest you have a little talk to the man, set some rules and define the boundaries of what is expected from each of you.

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  I don't have a neat answer for this one. Most obvious is, despite the intensity it's pretty early days and I assume you haven't had 'the talk' (although there might have been some reasonable assumptions). Ordinarily it should be a reasonable non-issue, but the fact that it's the housemate of ambiguous sexuality complicates it.Disappointment would be a natural response, but I don't think it has anything to do with how you value yourself. If you're not angry then you shouldn't try and make yourself! I think you and only you can figure out how you feel, and don't worry about how you should feel, because that's rubbish. If you like the guy and have a good connection then keep going? Hopefully you're not in too deep yet and the situation isn't complicated by that! Play it cool, talk it out, benefit of the doubt sort of thing but maybe don't go rushing in? Good luck!

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  I have taken in what you have all shared and have come to some what of A) if hes not going to share his house mate i could have her to myself B ) Maybe its time to sit and talk like grown ups ( instead of me asking all my other fellow beloved rhps of their opinion ) EVEN tho i love reading the threads and intrigued and love all's opinion C) he gave me his house key today !!! is it worse that i took it ?? tooD) Yeah the sex might have been good but take a leave pass ,, bye bye ??? E ) eehhmm shit now what

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Sounds like a plan ellabella. Love that name. :) Seems to be like you only just met and you were not exclusive either? So all good.xxMeeka

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Anger is a waste of energy. . I think sadness or disappointment would be more appropriate as opposed to anger? . Least he was honest enough to tell you, thats got to be a good thing. . You could tell him about RHP by the sounds of things. Up to you on that one. . Whether he experiences problems sleeping with his friend is not really your problem as I see it. . Nothing is wrong with your woman-hood, lest thinking make it so.

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Communicating and openly working through things is the only way to true intimacy and a lasting relationship.......no matter how mental it drives you :)If I were in your sitch I would try bring all of you closer- the more sharing, openness and interaction the better I think, especially now you have a key ;)

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  contemplating1

  13 years ago

  Quoting 'Handmaiden' Just because you dont value yourself any less and you did not get angry, it sounds as if your man friend was expecting you to be. Okay so you are living the RHP secret life that he does not know about and you are all cool with that. BUT personally I think you may need to have a little talk with your frined about open relationships, friends with benefits and what that means to you and for the friendship between the two of you. It is all very well saying that as you are not in a committed relationship you have no rights to complain. He may see things differently and your lack of reaction may just be seen by him that you simply do not care. This gives him the right to do exactly as he pleases, sleep with whom he likes without any dramas at all. In short, he may just use you. If you care about this person or you see the relationship progressing beyond the casual I suggest you have a little talk to the man, set some rules and define the boundaries of what is expected from each of you. Likes this advice   Have a good 'um!

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