rejection.

Comments

• 

  RHP User

  4 years ago

  I think your problem is that you talk too much🤣

  reply

  like

• 

  The_Antichrist

  4 years ago

  What advice would you give a woman that opened up a new message to message you, wrote it, then deleted it at the last minute ??

  reply

  like

• 

  jessica__rabbit

  4 years ago

  I guess it depends on why you get petrified? Fear of rejection? Social anxiety? mentally preparing for some sights you never thought you'd see? It's definitely easier going with someone. It also helps if you've already met some people going that are nice.

  reply

  like

• 

  Tall74nHard9

  4 years ago

  To me it sounds like you might be suffering from panic attacks (true medical condition). There are medications you can get for that (get it confirmed with your GP), which will help with the anxiety you experience. Having someone with you could help, but might not be enough to get you over the line, so to speak. Have a word with your doctor to see what he thinks. Tall

  reply

  like

• 

  FeistyFatty

  4 years ago

  There's no laws saying you have to attend events/parties or clubs so just listen to your gut and don't. No biggy.

  reply

  like

• 

  Phoenix_Rising

  4 years ago

  The two main causes for this that spring to mind are fear of rejection and fear of being vulnerable, both of which could quite possibly be made a lot better if you find somebody to accompany you to an event and work on going in with no expectations whatsoever.

  reply

  like

• 

  MsSuperFoxy

  4 years ago

  No, I don't feel I'm never good enough. I sometimes think, could one handle my lifestyle, my shiftworking roster etc. It's pretty full on. Ms Foxy

  reply

  like

• 

  MsSuperFoxy

  4 years ago

  Are you an introvert or extrovert?

  reply

  like

• 

  AnnieWhichway

  4 years ago

  I get where you are coming from. I remember my first meet and greet 6 years ago. My first social gathering for a couple of decades as Annie. 100+ people and the only trans to attend. One of the hardest things to pluck up the courage and walk in, not knowing a single soul. Lacking confidence, shaking and scared. I knew if I failed to enter, the next would be harder so l just did it. My philosophy, so much to gain, not much to lose. My first meeting was Ms_Jonesy who was amazing. AS were the other 100 people. I've never looked back but lm always nervous and apprehensive.... as are even professional actors at stage time. Last night was my first night out since 1st lockdown in March. Almost didn't go because of that self doubt. Fear Of Going Out. FOGO. But l did and had a great night. You owe it to yourself as like I did, life changing Good luck

  reply

  like

• 

  AnnieWhichway

  4 years ago

  As they say, it doesn't get easier, you just get better at it

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  4 years ago

  My first meet I walked in and could not identify the group. So I left and went home, later in chat room mentioned what happened. It was then a lovely lady offered to pick me up for the next one. Which was a lunch by the river in East Perth hosted by sweet frangipani. There lies your answer u need a wing man or woman.

  reply

  like

• 

  countrytouch82

  4 years ago

  Meet and greets are specifically just that, to meet and greet people. If you make a connection that is a bonus. As a single man you might go to several without getting a connection or phone number, but the question you have to ask, have you somehow failed if you didn't get a phone number? You might go for a walk in the park, or a trip to the zoo, or shopping, or go to a concert, and not get a phone number but that's because that is not your plan, and you are going to these things because it is better than sitting around at home or doing whatever else you would have. So then you'll just have to decide, is going to a meet and greet better than sitting around at home even if you don't get a phone number? Normally, it is. Even if you don't connect with the opposite sex you might be able to have some good chats about like-minded men like yourself in exactly the same position. Yes there's always a lot of people that won't want to talk to you just because of your demographic, but then there will be other people that will be happy to have a chat. A few years ago I managed to host a singles only meetup, it was small with only about 30 to 40 in attendance, but working individually I was able to get even the quite socially fearful for people to attend. And no I didn't get a phone number either but that's not the point :P Remember your presence might even help someone else in there that is attending just like yourself.

  reply

  like

• 

  OneWay_ForePlay

  4 years ago

  It is called approach avoidance, and it is both normal and common. To overcome it you need to identify the negatives that are preventing you from approaching the positives. For example, if "rejection" is your fear, and be truthful to yourself, then you need to remove it from the equation. One way would be to commit to going to the party but with the explicit intent of ONLY having drinks and watching, and be clear about that intent when you arrive (declare it to the door person / host “im just here to observe and have a few drinks tonight”. You evidently cannot be rejected if you are not seeking. You can still choose to reject or accept advances made against you however. Taking someone with you will help if they are capable of coaxing you forward, but they can also be intimidating depending on personality and experience e.g. “do I want person X to see me get rejected” could elicit negatives that lead you to avoid.

  reply

  like

• 

  Hotasianwife

  4 years ago

  You sound unwell. I would seek psychological support. You may have anxiety that has never been diagnosed. Good luck.

  reply

  like

• 

  wanttotasteyou

  4 years ago

  I can't even get a like haha so I think you'll be right

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  4 years ago

  Excellent marketing 👌

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  4 years ago

  Maybe it's not actually rejection, maybe you just didn't even get noticed in the crowd?

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  4 years ago

  As 'new agey' as it may sound/read (and I don't classify myself as that, in terms of viewpoint), is that it appears that you find that party lifestyle exciting in. your mind, when you think about it/fantasise about it, but when it comes to execution, you aren't 100 percent sure about whether it is right for you (you think that having someone to go with may fix it). You're not having anxiety, panic attacks or anything of that kind. You may need to start with the basics first, which is to find someone one on one, who shares the same view (e.g. wanting to try swinging, or threesomes etc), explore things with them first, and then go from there. But I'm betting, your reaction is your intuition telling you that you are not 100% comfortable and it may be that it isn't for you.

  reply

  like