sexual harassment in the workforce

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  That is disgusting and disturbing that firstly this happened to you and secondly that you were made to sweep it under the carpet. You should feel no shame it was not your fault in any way and you had family to consider with the consequences that may have been had you reported it to a higher authority. I have had my arse slapped and lewd comments and looks but it is not as frequent as it is for women and I feel most men would not take offense. As it is mostly women that suffer from this degrading behaviour maybe HR people should be women, at least then something would more than likely be done about it.

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Im an ex defence force member and there was a time in my early 20's. When I was being bullied and harassed at work over a period of months. He was known for his bad behaviour but it was at a time when women were only just being allowed to go to sea. So the male population was having many issues with this as things where no longer a mans world. He was moved away to another posting but still I would receive messages and I continued to report it. Eventually it stopped but I didnt feel supported and was let down by my supposed supervisors. Although 25yrs on I conversed with this man via facebook and I told him that I hoped he had turned into a better person. As I thought he was a total arsehole at the time of working with him. he did apologise but since Ive never spoken to him again. Many companies spend millions of dollars on OH&S and make sure that staff are aware of sexual harressment policies. Its changing but you will perhaps still find some dinosaurs still lurking that wont accept women in the workplace.

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  Seachange

  10 years ago

  thanks for the comforting words and I know it is not my fault and i should not feel the shame. I sought help with a psychologist about this and have come to terms with it many moons ago. I have put it as a learning experience in my life to teach me something that the price of humanity and integrity is way beyond any corporate gig ever. My priorities were slightly askewed but well intentioned for my kids. If I did not have dependents, I am sure I will be assessing and acting on the matter very differently. But hard to tell. If we survive such traumatic events, we never forget but we can use it to make our lives better when lessons can be derived. for me, it further clarified my priorities in life and a slight detachment from corporate mentality that has manipulated me as a young graduate into believing that climbing the dizzying heights of corporate ladder is the ultimate achievement in life, sometimes at my expense and other people's expense. how naive I was into wanting to believe the fairytale. i am not as driven by greed and prestige anymore than when I was young. In my 'mature' age, I tend to strip at lot of bs in situations and not sugar-coat situations. Investigate, simplify, assess, plan and act. my life is more fulfilling nowadays as everything is simpler and my goals are clearer.

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  Seachange

  10 years ago

  i agree the wheels are in motion re culture change. however, it may be too late for some and still going at a very slow pace for many. I am positive this will get better in the future. The intelligence and self-awareness of the young people I am surrounded by at work and in my personal life (my kids, their friends, etc) give me a lot to hope for and confidence it will happen. Thanks for your input. xxx

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  sweetgem

  10 years ago

  I just wished that I had the supernatural power to kickarses and chop penises for the victims, without going to gaol! But I believe in Karma and I'm sure those pigs will get taught an even worst lesson sooner or later! I have never been in a high up position in my career and I don't have children yet to support, so there is no chance, so far, for anyone to threaten me with job stability or anything. Well, given my personality, I don't let threats stand in my way anyway! Besides, I have always been acting like a tomboy and cold person when I'm surrounded by strangers, or people who I don't know well, or work colleagues, etc., therefore, nobody wanted to mess around with me nor would they be interested in touching an "ice block" lol However, having said the above, I did have a bad experience dealing with HR! I needed their help to access my own super for a critical situation and all I got from the so called HR Manager was "find an alternative solution" suggestion because, it was too hard and there were too many procedures to go through, etc. all because of this HR manager's laziness, I was left to deal with my unforeseen hardship with tears and pain! From then on, I have zero faith and respect for any sort of HR component! HR is like politics, they are only set up for the riches and/or people with authority power! - Posted from rhpmobile

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  blkcapricornday

  10 years ago

  I sympathise completely Lily. I've had it twice. Once in the hospitality industry by a group of older women (I was 21). Boss laughed at me, told me to ignor it. Another time more serious, by a sadistic head chef. He'd grab my ass 'jokingly', and make very vulgar comments regarding extreem gay sex acts - just stuff to get a reaction really. I couldn't really do anything as it was a cash in hand second/after hours job that I really needed at the time, plus he was their 'prize' chef, I would've lost my job. Was pretty disgusted in myself for not taking a moral stand, but I was stuck in a hard place (at the time). It's a disgusting abuse of power. I really feel bad for not exposing the dude (he went on to masterchef). It shouldn't be tolerated.

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Sexual harassment is as much a cultural problem as an individual trauma. It is a shame that our education stops after school as in reality many people just do not know how to behave and could do with some serious re-education in regard to personal rights and appropriate behaviour. Awareness programs are currently the best we can do in terms of education. Some of the perpetrators are unaware that they are even doing wrong and workplaces tend to bring out the school yard mentality, with harassment actually encourage. This is no excuse, but be vocal in regard to indiscretion as the perpetrator may be unaware they have crossed the line. The problem is epidemic in Australia. As the Op noted it is not just female workers though as a female you are four times as likely to be the target (humanrightscommission Vic, sexual-harassment) . With 1 in five female workers having been a victim of some form of sexual harassment. This number is horrific and should bring shame on all of us. For the victims there is a wall of denial that they have to face. It would be nice if there was a perfect strategy to deal with it, but for many the trauma has just begun and the sad fact is, that it is too late. It should never have happened in the first place. To fix it it must be stopped before it happens. We must be vigilant, we must be ready to point out any indiscretion. Too many say nothing while fully aware of escalating harassment and this is also true of the victims. It is not enough for HR or those in authority within the institution to know about it. It must be taken outside the institution. If you witness or know about any sexual harassment, don't keep your mouth shut. I think many will agree that silence places you in the role of co-conspirator. Report it and help stop it before its too late. For the victims it can be harder, but you must also help your self. Even if at first the harassment seams trivial, such behavior can quickly escalate. Try to keep detailed notes of each and any indiscretion, no matter how trivial it may seem. Stand your ground and say "NO! this is inappropriate behavior." Report any harassment as soon as you can. Contacts for Australian. There are also many local state and regional services. Have the contact at hand and use them because dealing with the aftermath is way too late.Human rights CommissionEqual opportunity CommissionSexual Assault Crisis LineThe policeA lawyer or or law firm.Your friends, and your family. We are all responsible for this, and we must all do what we can to stop it. Speak out at sexual harassment.

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  If you are in HR, run a business, or are in a place of authority within an institution. Do you have the contacts for reporting harassment at hand? Have you made a point about these contacts to your work force? Are these contact on prominent display somewhere all employees can see them? You are responsible for their safety so if you have not done the above. Do it now. Unless you have been specifically trained to deal with sexual harassment, if an employee reports harassment you must contact the appropriate authority immediately. If you have been told to keep reports of harassment within the company, you may be breaking the law to do so. Sexual harassment is a criminal act and all such behavior must be reported.

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  This is the first time I have ever tried to write down what happened to me 5 years ago. My mind blocks it, and my memory is very hazy on the specifics, yet I know those memories are there. I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. My Psychiatrist tells me that the suppression of these memories is a direct uncontrollable response of my brain protecting me from reliving the trauma. Yet there are times when flashes do come to me, usually when I am in a deep sleep and I wake in gasping terror, screaming. Unconscious gut wrenching panic attacks, clawing my way into consciousness. Or when I went to a couple of meditation classes, getting to a relaxed state and bam out of no where, terror. Not being able to breathe. Silently screaming rocking back and forth curled on the floor. It all just started one day at work. One day everything was fine. I loved my job, it was high pressure and demanding, sometimes frustrating which seems to be part and parcel of a high level position in corporate life. I had worked really really hard in a male dominated technical field to rise and hold the position I did. I was liked and highly regarded in my field, I was an expert that was sought out for my professional opinion and open management style. I was head hunted into the position. I worked 16 hour days, 6 days a week. And I thrived on it. I was the woman that got things done, no drama, no bullshit. On target, under budget and always on deadline. One morning I was working at my desk, when the CEO came to me and walked me to a room. Where he told me that my executive GM had been dismissed and that I was being hand picked to take on his role. I felt uneasy, the GM had been well liked, there was no explanation as to why he had been so suddenly dismissed. But it was made subtly clear to me that there was no other option for me within the business model, other than for me to take the role on, they needed my technical expertise. So I suddenly found myself by morning tea time, as the Executive GM of a multi billion dollar business within a high profile iconic company. It didn't sit well with some people within the organisation who thought that I had been implicit in shafting the dismissed GM. There were some tough decisions to make, we were admin rich and technically poor. Our product offerings were outdated and overpriced in the market. We couldn't deliver product within a reasonable time frame and the quality of works being provided by subcontractors manufacturing and installing our products on investigation were found to be sub standard and dangerous. Our end to end process was non existent and what process there was, was tied down in red tape. I made in conjunction with my management team some very unpopular decisions. I reduced admin roles, and allocated those tasks to the shared services dept within the corporation. We were double handling in these areas. I sourced new product suppliers & manufacturers and dropped some products & revamped our product lines. I dismissed all contractors and head hunted and employed quality technicians & installers on staff. I employed a consultancy firm to evaluate our software systems and to plan & implement a working end to end process. In essence we ripped it apart and put it back together. Every single team member was involved in every aspect of the changes. With the consultancy firm we workshopped ideas & implemented change. We up skilled and retrained every team member. We empowered them to make decisions without having to wait for 3 managers to approve that decision. We paid them more, we implemented bonuses, we bought a new fleet of vehicles. We worked closely with a branding agency to get our advertising & marketing right. Sales tripled, we delivered on time and were market competitive and market leaders in 12 months. My team was happy and productive. I was a star. My bonus was obscene. And my workplace assessment was a 5. That's it you can't get any higher. The CEO decided that it was time for me to step out from under his mentoring umbrella, he was retiring in a year. He placed a high ranking female as my direct reporting line. And that's the day my life became hell. She seconded me to a project, a project that I had no expertise or even any experience in. She removed me from my business and left my team rudderless. She removed me from every decision making process, and barred me from even sending emails. She physically removed me from my office and located me by myself on another floor of the building. She told me that it was done under the instruction of the CEO. My days were numbered, and I started documenting. Performance appraisal time came around, I was shown into an office and screamed abuse at and threatened. There was no appraisal. I sat there and took it, I didn't say a word. My workplace assessment went from a 5 to a 1. And I was placed under performance management with the woman who was the cause of the position I now found myself in. Who had systematically destroyed my professional reputation not only within the corporation that employed me, but also within the industry that I had come from. The weekly performance meetings were more of the same screaming & threatening. I recorded them. A tiny tape recorder in my pocket. So I made a formal complaint to HR. I didn't tell them about the tapes. A meeting was held with her, the head of HR & myself, I was not given any notice of the meeting nor was I permitted to bring a support person. I was again screamed at, belittled, abused & threatened. I again taped it, I had become paranoid, I thought that it was my fault. That I had done something to deserve this. I thought I was going crazy. I was told that these sanctions were approved by the CEO and that he wanted me gone. I told them I wasn't going without a fight, and that I would take them with me. There was no one I could go to. That night at around 10pm as I was walking to my car after work, I was accosted by a masked male. He called my name. He grabbed me and pushed me up against a concrete pier, his hand over my mouth. I didn't even have time to scream. He stuffed cloth in my mouth and then cable tied my hands. Forced me to the ground, cable tied my ankles & gaffer taped the cloth in my mouth and around my head. It happened so quickly and yet in my memory it was agonisingly slow. I was wearing a wrap around dress. He untied it and cut off my underwear. He told me he was going to kill me. He then raped me. He used a large mag light torch. I don't remember the specifics or how long it went on for. He beat me unconscious with the torch and with his fists & feet. He must have cut me lose once I was unconscious. When I woke up it was past midnight. I crawled to my car. I managed to drive halfway home. I stopped on the side of the freeway & called my partner and told him where I was. That's the last thing I remember. I don't remember him finding me, or the ambulance coming. I don't remember anything for days after. I was catatonic. My injuries kept me in hospital for 8 weeks. I couldn't remember anything. There's a lot I still don't remember. There's a lot I never want to ever remember. I couldn't help the police, I couldn't identify my attacker. There was no DNA. But he knew my name. I remembered that much. And I was terrified. I eventually got to go home. I had the security beefed up on the house. It was like Alcatraz. I felt safe at home. I didn't leave the house for a year except for medical appointments. I never went back to work. Soon after I was allowed home, the CEO came to see me. I was still visibly bruised and obviously beaten. He was horrified that this had happened at work. Somewhere that I should have been safe. He told me that the police had been to work several times and held numerous interviews, and that they had asked for my HR file, to see if I had lodged any complaints against anyone or if any had been lodged against me. And that the company was assisting police by providing all the cctv coverage of me both in the building and the car park. It was a while after he left, that I thought about the comment he made about my HR file. I called the police who came to see me with a copy of the file. There was no copy of my formal complaint against her in my file. It had been removed. I provided them with a copy and also a copy of the auto generated email registering that I had filed a complaint. I also gave them the tapes I had made. They couldn't be used as evidence as I had illegally recorded the meetings. But it gave the police something to investigate. I at this time got myself a lawyer. And the company hired a private investigator as soon as they became aware of the existence of the tapes. In due course, the police caught him. Her husband. I had dared to stand up for my self by lodging a complaint against his wife. She was enraged. I was a threat. She lost her job and was found complicit in planning the attack. She got off on a 4 year good behaviour bond. He got 9 years and was out in 3 and a half. I never made a victim impact statement. I didn't know where to start. 3 people in HR also lost their jobs over the cover up. All because I was good at my job, That's a terrible reason to destroy someone's life. I was on some serious medication, I was afraid to go to sleep. I was hyper vigilant. I didn't work for 3 years. Time has ticked on, and whilst my life, both personally & professionally will never be what it was, I'm better now, I'm just about to full recovery, I'm happy and I'm ok. I'm a survivor and a fighter not a victim. This can happen to anyone, regardless of the position you hold, regardless of you being a star performer and more often if the perpetrator senses you as a threat. They target successful well liked individuals. My advice to anyone that is subjected to workplace bullying or sexual assault & harassment, is that when it doesn't feel right, start documenting. Don't go to HR, they are there to protect the company, do not use the companies staff support psychologists, they will report back when losing their contract is under threat. Lawyer up right from the start, get the professional support you need privately and protect yourself both emotionally and physically if necessary. And remember, sexual assault & harassment is not about sex. It's about power. Don't let them have that power, It's never your fault. Much love RR - Posted from rhpmobile

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  MsJonesy

  10 years ago

  Make a scene, loudly ask them what they just did and why they thought it was appropriate. Do not be afraid to show that their actions were inappropriate and unwelcome. Sexual harassment is similar to workplace bullying in that people react quietly or just slink away. Be loud - it means you are being proactive in helping change the culture in which this sort of act flourishes.

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  In my work place and I am in a senior management position where I hold regular office meetings and one on one meeting where I highlight that any type of sexual harassment will be dealt with and consequences will follow. This is also incorporated in our operating procedures and I make sure that I note it on my employees professional development assessment file as having been discussed and the employee acknowledges that sexual harassment will not be tolerated. Unfortunately it is the women that are the common victims. Equity and diversity in all work places.

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  Seachange

  10 years ago

  I read yohr post and was horrified at what you went through. I am speechless and angered at the same time. But also am very proud of you. you are a very strong person to survived all that and come up with your sanity intact. Yes it is all about power, not sex. It is unfortunate that it happens and most of us would think we will never experience it. Then it happens and it is a shock. It is a total violation of our rights and their desire to strip us of our humanity and pride. I extend a loving embrace to you and wishing you well in the future. You rock.

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