F37
the final straw
November 28 2012
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
duplicity and lies. Once it starts, it's the start of the end.
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RHP User
12 years ago
the continuation of chronic disintrest...
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think you'll find there as many reasons as there are people in the world. For me personally it was two things: the realisation that he was no happier than i was and meeting a man who made me believe that perhaps there was someone out there who would admire my strengths instead of seeing them as negative traits. From what i can see of MANY, not all, long term relationships, couples reach a stage where it's harder to leave because perhaps the relationship isn't "that bad" or they have too much invested to leave. They are not necessarily staying because they adore their partner. It's more a case of....couldn't be bothered making the effort.....and taking the risk... "Don't stay where you are tolerated, go where you are celebrated"
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yep think I may found it today.
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RHP User
12 years ago
When can I meet your children ?We should live togetherBye the way I have aids
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RHP User
12 years ago
when you walk in and she is being screwed by the dog That would do it
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sometimes it may not be 1 thing.It could be a lot of little things that just build up over time and the smallest of things sets you off and your just like Ive had it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Before throwing it in try to break it down into simple steps. 1. Firstly you have to be able to communicate like 2 decent people regardless of what its about. If you can't do that then forget it lol. 2. Decide if its just a simple pet hate and/or something 'you' find annoying. 3. Decide if its something he or she has done of there own accord that might be morally wrong. (You may not have to decide as there actions may speak for themselves). If its point 2.....think first....is it really that bad that you would allow your own ego to loose someone you love. If so try to talk about it and make changes. If its point 3.....you may be left with no option but to leave. If something falls into this category it may be obviously to bad to continue and an easy split.
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RHP User
12 years ago
You want to put that thing WHERE! and it arent where the sun shines.
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RHP User
12 years ago
In my first long term relationship there were a few things: * lack of sexual compatibility * him wanting to spend all his time on his off days with his friends (most of whom he also worked with) and not put time aside for us * we grew up and grew apart In the second one the following were reasons: * I lost weight (too much by his standards - he like a larger woman) * again lack of sexual compatibility the absolute final straw? * he had an emotional breakdown and hit me. Kisses Focus
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'lukejam'duplicity and lies. Once it starts, it's the start of the end. Only too recently. But once it started, the end came immediately.
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goldcoastcple69
12 years ago
For me it would be ...."honey ,can i ask you a question?? have you accepted jesus into your heart?? .. honey , i want to start going to church, and dont want to wear leather anymore during sex .. and no more whips and chains.. and your banned from looking at porn ..instead we are going to read the bible together " .. ull see me run out that door quicker than a .....well, pretty quickly anyway lol
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RHP User
12 years ago
lies, deception and dishonesty.....if a partner of mine was to betray the trust i have for them, or disrespect our relationship by being with someone else, it would be over immediately..... no discussion needed, would even call the taxi.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am not sure If I have ever found the "ONE THING" to end it all over.. In the NOT TOO DISTANT PAST.. I had a relationship for a reasonable length of time... I noticed early she lies.. she had 4 or 5 tell-tales when she lied.. and as I watched her, i realised they were absolutely clear cut. She had played up on me while I was away working, she had slashed at me a few times with knives (and I have the scars from some :) ).. she had thrown things at me, abused and screamed and accused... All these actually make GOOD foreplay though.. :) AND damn.. she was such a HOT HOT toy to play with... I could look over all the lies she told. and laugh at the rest of the shit I lost ALL respect for her though, rather early in the relatrionship..and she knew it... and one day.. the tell-tales TOLD on her again.. So, I said... "Woman. I need sleep... talk when we are talking eh?!" Another of her tell-tales.. a pause. and her secret noise... she KNEW I KNEW.. and tried to cover it... I said... "Don't! I need sleep" I have not spoken a single word to her since.. ever.. It wasn't really the lie that did it.. It was a xsimple decision to move on :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Why do they have to keep putting the damn toilet seat down?
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RHP User
12 years ago
A friend of mine was seeing someone who told him the two children in her care are her niece and nephew who's parents were tragically killed when they were very young so they call her mum because they can't remember their real mum. About three years later she admitted they're really her children and she keeps them in boarding school because she doesn't really like them and will only tolerate them when she really has to. That would be a breaking point for me, but then again, I'd have left her at the first sign of mind playing games she likes to play. For me it was when I was told I had to change and was convinced that I had to change who I was to save my marriage. Two years later I realised I'd changed into what he wanted me to be but I still couldn't make him happy. I got sick of fighting every night, so suggested we call it quits.
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RHP User
12 years ago
The end is when u start to question if it's the right relationship. Weather you leave or stay its over the Minuit you question it...
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RHP User
12 years ago
The final straw was when I heard the words of an emotionally abusive father come out of my little boy's mouth. When the emotional abuse turned physical...because I shut the salt shaker insted of leaving it open, because I did not turn the electric jug off at the wall and a million other pathetic excuses to fly into a rage. The end is never simple, it is a long and slow realisation. It is never just one little thing but normally a long hard road of constant things.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'wowwow11' when you walk in and she is being screwed by the dog That would do it And put a load down her throat as well :P
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RHP User
12 years ago
I find that final straw usually cames from a whole series of straws that have slowly built up until the smallest of things can suddenly cause a straw explosion from which there is no return
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RHP User
12 years ago
For a man of modest appearances I can be very very fussy about the dumbest, seemingly insignificant rubbish. I'm not talking about a woman's appearance either, it's the tiny details which make or break it for me. But I find that by being fussy I'm only attracting what I feel I deserve.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi! kme123 Thanks for the topic:) hmmmmm! I was Married for 28yrs but in the final 6months we seemed to leed seperate lives..Sharing the same house but not the Marriage.I sensed their was someone else He had set his sights on and I proved to be right I'm sad to say . The final straw came when for 1 week My Partner looked at me like a rabbit in the headlights.Everytime I got close to him he backed off! He slept on the lounge.We had no contact at all. Finally I said enough!! We talked, well I sat and he paced up and down and finally said. "I don't Love you anymore" .I replied "I don't Love you either.". He then asked what's for Dinner Geez the nerve of the Man! ha!ha! I replied I don't want to cook or have takeaway, so lets go out for Dinner celebrate our Marriage and our futures apart .So we did, It was a good night... Cheers Lu :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
I was talking to a man recently who told me that his wife left him after 37 years.His business partner disapeared with 4.5 million dollars and the bank took the rest.Their opulent lifestyle was gone overnight.She left. Within 18 months she was married again to a man who she said could provide her with a beautiful home etc....he was her sister's brother-inlaw a man she had known for years. At first I was really puzzled as to how a woman could do this and then I asked if his wife had a career,her own identity or did she depend on him for everything.He said that he had set her up in a small business but mostly he had been the provider. I wonder if the story would have been different if his wife's identity hadn't been so enmeshed with his,if she had her own career would the loss of property and his status have mattered so much.? Of course I only heard one side of the story and maybe there were other problems in the marriage and his failure to provide materially was for her, the final straw.
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RHP User
12 years ago
and I answered it..they were looking for my partner - needed to have a' little chat"" with him Two nites prior, said partner (a shiftworker) was suppose to be at work, instead he attended a gang bang (no I had no idea) .. a wild nite by all accounts...so wild and out of control that after the "participants" left the receiver of all this masculinity stated rape had occurred and reported it all to the police.....as the lady in question had been corresponding with all the men that attended that nite via sms, it was easy for the police to track down my partner Yep - pretty much deal breaker there and then...and of course he didnt use a condom did he ???..so then I had to go thru the embarassing and distressing hell of being tested for all STDS - cause I had sex with him within those two days.....lovely 2nd dealbreaker.... Oh and the upshot....well...only a few people know what went down that nite....and I guess we (and I ) will never really know, but the police have charged the ex (along with 5 others) ..his going to commital proceedings early next year Ive been asked by friends will I attend the hearing out of curiosity.....No, (although I have been forewarned that I could be subpoened) .... cause now he is someone that I used to know...and now I wish Id never crossed paths with him and that was final straw material....
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RHP User
12 years ago
That sucks big time... Quoting 'Shinasbabe27' and I answered it..they were looking for my partner - needed to have a' little chat"" with him Two nites prior, said partner (a shiftworker) was suppose to be at work, instead he attended a gang bang (no I had no idea) .. a wild nite by all accounts...so wild and out of control that after the "participants" left the receiver of all this masculinity stated rape had occurred and reported it all to the police.....as the lady in question had been corresponding with all the men that attended that nite via sms, it was easy for the police to track down my partner Yep - pretty much deal breaker there and then...and of course he didnt use a condom did he ???..so then I had to go thru the embarassing and distressing hell of being tested for all STDS - cause I had sex with him within those two days.....lovely 2nd dealbreaker.... Oh and the upshot....well...only a few people know what went down that nite....and I guess we (and I ) will never really know, but the police have charged the ex (along with 5 others) ..his going to commital proceedings early next year Ive been asked by friends will I attend the hearing out of curiosity.....No, (although I have been forewarned that I could be subpoened) .... cause now he is someone that I used to know...and now I wish Id never crossed paths with him and that was final straw material....
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RHP User
12 years ago
First how did this topic end up in the couples corner and second.....what happened to your bedroom OP?!?! :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
I wanted to comment on the bomb site oops damn auto correct, bedroom lol
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RHP User
12 years ago
I was the final straw in a few relationships.
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RHP User
12 years ago
hi! Hun :) My sincere condolences that you had to suffer this degredation through no fault of your own..I sincerely hope you've moved on and are enjoying a very fulfilling life now..:) Karma can be a real Bitch sometimes, especially when it's aimed at the innocent parties such as ourselves.. Mine lead to loss of all My Money and Possessions twice..Haaaaaaaa! there's a Positive lesson in there somewhere.I know what it is but it still has been painful..Haaaaaaa! such is life :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Too subjective a question for any realistic answer.:( all round when it happens though
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thanks, Bathsheba. It would have sounded anal if I had said that and putting down the toilet seat in the same post, somebody should have listened to her mother who must have given up saying 'Clean up your bedroom, dammit'. Game over, deal done and dusted.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Being abused ,by a partner physically and mentally due to alcoholism.I hate how drugs/alcoholism can change a persons character :(
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RHP User
12 years ago
The saga drags on a bit..but well and truly over the muppet.... I hope your doing well after your surgery :) Yeah theres a real lesson to be learnt from this tale Goodtimesricky...and many warnings... Bathsehba - great post......thought it.....
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi! Hun thanks for asking My surgery was excellent I've had no real knee pain since then I've been walking unaided since my 1st steps Had an issue with a Med but it's sorted :) Your Pic just jumped out at me with some awesome news andI must say you are a very sexy Beautiful Lady .There'sso much Positive energies around you . Good things are coming to you Hun I bet they've already started.This is leading to a New Beginning for you in all areas of your Life.Congrats!Cheers Lu :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi! Hun:) Yes when things go sour in that way it's tradgic for all concerned I hope your Partner is seeking help to overcome and enjoy a good Life. I hope you've learned Pos; Lessons from your experience overcome your emotional issues from it grown moved forward. Now Life's going well for you..Cheers Lu :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
my first final straw was like a blade of grass waving in the wind...gentle...falling through my fingers and floating to the ground, leaving me sad but strengthened in my soul...my last final straw was like being blindsided by a 30 tonne lorry with horn blaring and lights on full beam...life changing, life growing, turned my world upside down and inside out...I believe now that i am a better person..stronger...more purposeful...less scared...accept challenges more easily...There have been some significant posters on here...I can only offer a warm and gentle embrace, delivered with compassion and caring...ricky
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