F37
when all is said and done
June 03 2015
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
or do you want to me to tell you what you want to hear? I'll be honest anyway........ Someone who gets sexually involved with a married man on a bunch of promises is not a person that I would call 'emotionally mature'. An emotionally mature person is a person who's emotional and logical thoughts are balanced. It is a person who can rationally delay their overwhelming desire for self gratification and instead listen to their logical mind which says 'nothing good will come from this'. It has nothing to do with passion........people misinterpret passion as meaning 'I make poor decisions because i'm passionate and get lost in the moment'. People make poor decisions like this because of insecurity, need and poor personal boundaries. Learn from it and understand where your decision making comes from. I think you already do, but the hardest part is actually making lasting change. That requires work. Are you prepared to do the work?
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'm right there with you.... I maybe a little weird in the sense that I prefer to enjoy someone's company a bit before escalating to sex instead of having both occur at the same time; but that's just me... I want to laugh with partner; go camping with them; hang out at the farmers markets poking fun at things...go browsing at garage sales even.... Gawd fuck I sound desperate I know...but I like to build a connection slower than most before tempting the sex.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Honesty is key to the question posed by the ever so gorgeous Cherrylips1! I am up front... my first questions are what do you seek... are they the same as mine... do we want long term, short term, a relationship, do we want to genuinely connect? I do ... becase everything is better when you connect... I seek not a 24/7 relationship... I seek an ongoing relationship where there is a trust, faith and bond. Without that all else is shallow. I am married, so this is a parallel world... that is always stated and respected if it is not what another seeks. This is about completing that which is not on my other parallel existence. So... as long as you are honest with each other it is not a head fuck... communications is what life is about... make sure that is up front and honest. Well that is my turn on the soapbox!
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'm following this because I'm stuffed if I even know right now what I want!!! I'm so confused and hurt that I think I need to re evaluate everything I thought I wanted. I think we are all muddled Cherrylips, maybe I won't even know what I want when it is right in front of me 😢 I understand your point Sir, wish I could be like that but after being in a unhappy sexless marriage for so long I need to know that the sex is going to be good or I don't even want to continue, yep totally screwed up aren't I, I will just sit in the corner and cry now I think. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Did I say control? No I did not, but I should have! If you have control in your life, you know what you seek. There are very few things I cannot control... but emotion is one I cannot... it is one I harness and restrain... and that is the hardest thing about forming relationships... there is always emotions... and that is what makes it on the one had, wothwhil, yet on the other hand confusing and debilitating.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Cherry I am open to all possibilities here. I know who I am, my faults, loves and my way of being. I also know what I want from here. Connection, friends, love and if just some sexual pleasure that is great too. Like Mr Stir I like to know someone a little before taking it to the bedroom, kitchen, bathroom etc. and enjoy the social side here very much. I realise it is much harder for women as many men are not so nice and I wish they all were but that is life in general and if the outside world is not doing it for you online is the only other place to find what we are looking for. I also wish whether interested or not my messages were replied to but I know this is just a dream. I do wish everyone who is sincere here everything they are hoping to find.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Did I say "good will" "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" Don't fuck with people and don't let them get away with fucking with you... don't put up with shit! That is why society has an issue with domestic violence... because over the years... mainly men have been assholes... and mainly women have put up with it. Don't... ever!
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RHP User
10 years ago
I believe....sex like all other things can be worked on...developed.... As the sexual dynamic between two people are never going to be the same as another couple... As long as the receiver of your needs doesn't put his/her ego as a higher priority.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
While ever you have all these things running around in your head... thats where you stay. Boundaries are fine, personal attraction is fine. Never do anything you're not feeling good about and satisfy your sex urges when it bob's it's head up because thats when you have the best sex you'll ever have.. . Theres a 50 / 50 chance you'll make mistakes but thats how it goes.. Give yourself enough reign to enjoy whatever good comes along and don't worry.. Good luck.. Jay...
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have to ask.... are you honest with your partner in your parallel life? Does your current partner know your needs are not being met so are seeking a parallel life? How does that work? Are you going to be going out in public with your new life partner, introducing them to family and friends and making their life as complete as yours? So many variations on the parallel second life, I'm not criticizing but very curious. LG
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RHP User
10 years ago
I had an experience recently where someone connected with me deeply and very quickly. I was quite overwhelmed by the depth of feeling shown to me, and elicited from me. Suddenly I saw myself in an old pattern and so I stopped and listened to what was going on in my belly. I was not in a total place of trust. I thought there were some tall tales being told and I wasn't comfortable with a particular behaviour and then the biggest chink in the armour was revealed. . . he's attached. This is one of my clear no go areas. Interestingly I was able to be grateful for the the gift of having someone give me amazing pleasure and detach easily. In her book The 13 Original Clan Mothers, Jamie Sams talks about respectful sex. I don't think you need to know each other for ever to have respectful sex. Being a respectful person with another respectful person is what it takes.
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Single_Guy4U
10 years ago
Quoting Cherry I know that I want a relationship one day... But I'm an emotionally intelligent woman who knows she won't find that here. I love sex... I crave it but there has to be an intellectual connection as well as physical... Why do you think you won't find it here. You appear to be separating people from RHP to everyone else, as if they will never be good enough for a relationship. I agree a lot most likely are not but I have read a number of posts from forumites that to me tend to convey they are reasonably emotionally intelligent, intelligent, and good people. People are people and you never know you may find someone more compatible on RHP. Just curious.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I remember being so free once.I didn't need more.....think about that time and what was so different for you then...we don't have to be prisoners to our passions,you can make a choice...just like anything else that we crave ,sex can give us a chemical rush,the new love,the new passion is like a drug..spend time with you,love you.the tragedy of women often IMO is that when we are young and beautiful,we don't recognise this for what it is,we don't sit comfortably with the attention we get,we crave it and at the same time get confused by it..if you can find some stillness in all of this Cherry then you will be able to recognise what it is you just not only want but need for you hugs xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
I was also going to ask the same question as Leo_Girl. Why aren't you working on having a fantastic connection and relationship with your wife? To be honest I find married people that deliberately seek a deep and meaningful relationship with single people to be selfish and only concerned about themselves. Go fuck with your own head and leave the singles alone. Look I do feel sorry for people that are lacking intimacy and sexual love in their relationships but getting deeply involved with other people is not really the answer. Just my opinion of course. Well...... unless it happens by accident that is something else of course.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'd like a relationship but I have a desire to explore my darker side. In general dating the subject of sex doesn't get broached enough do I decided not to go that way I.e vanilla sex. I decided to have fun instead and maybe find someone I connected with to lead the way . NSA sex has no appeal. I wouldn't trust them enough. The guys I have spoken to and met are either married, which is a big no. Or NSA which is not what I want either. So I'm in that middle zone of if it did develop into a relationship that's fine but I have no expectations that that would happen or that I want it to and make no promises that it will go on for ever. Just have fun, connect and be honest with me. - Posted from rhpmobile
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chevtrek
10 years ago
We are adults and choose our path but just don't go crazy.Explore your desires and make it fun don't make it all to hard.If you find what you seek all the better and to find your happy place.Also if your in a relationship then work it out or at least try not go outand to try and find it with another.
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RHP User
10 years ago
in any form equals more than one ! Communication is everything . - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
You are young. Yes, RHP is a tricky site for single women. Many single (?) guys trawl rhp because they see it as a site of sexual gratification, selfishly of course. Some of them are exceptionally good at spinning. There are single women (not as many) who are either just out of relationships where they have been hurt and are on the rebound, and very vulnerable and of course, susceptible. Or women who still love their previous partner and are seeking similar. Br wary of the sweet fruits on offer, they often carry a bitter pith. Be less gullible, keep your legs closed and develop your inner instinct and then trust it. The Nurturer :)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Do we need to have a plan or agenda? What's wrong with a suck it and see approach? I find it increasingly frustrating that people expect you to have a plan to seek a permanent partner or a sex only mandate etc etc. None of us know if we are going to fall and if so how hard we fall for them. My best and most enjoyable adventures started with no plan, no promises and no idea what I wanted before I embarked. Everything changes over time, if those changes are favourable go with it if not bail out. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Dryphuz
10 years ago
I'm always looking for the relationship, but i'm far to aware that love comes along when you least expect it. So i'm happy to mess around until it happens, i'm not gonna force it either way. So why would i hope to find love here...? I like sex as one of a core set of fundamentals in a relationship. I would hate to find myself in a relationship, but maintaining a profile filled with lies here at RHP because i dont feel sexually fulfilled. As bad as things can get i will not 'settle for less' and end up wanting out. Waste of both our time.
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Dryphuz
10 years ago
forgot to answer the question... So mindset... If you're here for fun, have fun, don't let him/her force you into a relationship you don't want. But if you do find yourself in love don't despair just because of its origins.
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