M59
when fuck buddies become more than that?
March 11 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Because I didnt want anymore than that. So it was goodbye and all was good.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hey Wingman, I had a FB for about 6 months where it was just sex but than he told me he had feeliings for me, it made it difficult on me as my feelings were not there for him. I liked him as a friend and the sex was MINDBLOWING but there was no romantic feelings, we ended up stop being Fb about 4 weeks later. So for me it didn't work out when one person grows feelings for the other, but everyones situation is different so someone elses FB might of turned out better than my experience
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RHP User
12 years ago
...not easy to find ! I sometimes wonder if everyone is secretly looking for Love !?! GG♒- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hey wingman I had one for eight years. First we were mates than it got a little more and I was great! Was the best kept secret for a good 5yrs (due to age and our families) but than I fell and I fell hard! Unfortunately he was in his prime and although I didn't see it played me for a fool, but I he kept stringing me in. It was definitely and emotional roller coaster. But we are still good mates now (just mates) I'm in a very committed and loving relationship and although the ex FB doesn't like that he respects it.. Bottom line FB FWB is an awesome thing but if that is all you want and someone starts getting feeling RUN!!!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'MisterGreen' ...not easy to find ! I sometimes wonder if everyone is secretly looking for Love !?! GG♒- Posted from rhpmobile I wonder that as well. HAHAHA it's not me - I am telling ya straight...Frightens the be-Jesus out of me!!!!!!!FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
yes it has happened...but we had to step back as age difference made things tricky...remaining beautiful friends though
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RHP User
12 years ago
Have a friend who hates her FB but seems to be too attached to him... fawning over the phone when he texts after months of nothing and she bitches often about him. Am starting to think this is the beginning of what has been alluded to above but from the carer's side.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I had this happen a few years back, despite me saying from the very beginning I did not want a relationship, but he hung in there only to be very disappointed & "dumping" me in anger LOLI think this is hard & this time I am far ore clear about it... but it may not work
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think for some it's a very fine line indeed. Rather like walking a tightrope. It's easier if you are just FB's, there just isn't the intimacy to develop deeper feelings. The danger lies in the FWB's relationship, because presumably you actually LIKE each other and there is often intimacy and attachment as well. I've had one of my current FWB's for 12 months, we see each other most weeks, if not for sex then just a lunch and a catch up, we chat through the week via text and the odd phone call. We've agreed it's not just sex and if needs be we want to maintain the friendship, so if ever sex is out of the question we will continue being friends. We support each other when things are tough. We are not in an exclusive relationship and will never be. The challenge is in not romanticising the FWB relationship. It would be very easy to fall in love with this man We admit we have an emotional attachment, but we manage it. We discuss our feelings when and if they change, occasionally one or the other of us steps over the line but our honesty level is such that we discuss the issue and recalibrate. Preserving our FWB's relationship is important to both of us. I think if you want to make it work you can, both parties need to be very honest about their desired outcome and be prepared to reassess regularly. If you are both available and want to pursue a relationship, great, why not, great relationships have started with less.
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RHP User
12 years ago
So if you have such a good connection why not explore a open relationship then? What is holding you back?
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RHP User
12 years ago
FWB......not easy to find ! I sometimes wonder if everyone is secretly looking for Love !?! GG♒- Posted from rhpmobileI sometimes wonder the exact same thing? As if the statement; "Oh, I only want an FB or FWB! Not love!" said with a *nonchalant toss of the hair* or *folding of the arms* is just an excuse (for whatever reason?) I can't help thinking a lot of people who say this use it as an out.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sometimes someone gets hurt. Sometimes you go back to being friends (usually once one party gets into a relationship). And sometimes you realise you both want more and end upon a relationship with each other. Just be honest and communicate and you'll be fine.
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RHP User
12 years ago
There are a couple of very good reasons..... why neither of us is seeking a relationship at this point in time. For me the most significant is that i'm just over 16 months out of a 26 year relationship, it would be very easy to fill the hole in my life with the first man who comes along. To ease the loneliness. In addition i have two young sons who i share custody of, i'm not prepared to bring a man into their lives unless he's going to be a permanent fixture. Quoting 'Meeka100' So if you have such a good connection why not explore a open relationship then? What is holding you back?
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RHP User
12 years ago
In my world of thinking even a FWB after a while grows on you. When it wouldn’t be like this I would be a cold hearted person, what I am not. So when we are all honest we all have somehow feelings for the person we have sex with on more then one occasion. Why run? Is my question? Why run? Why not as Karynb said be honest and see what happens. Why deny yourself a beautiful time as long as it lasts. What is wrong with us, are we all so cold we can’t show we like someone anymore? I like my FWBs and I wouldn’t have sex with them when I wouldn’t like them, so the fine tuning comes later, I can only speak for myself. And yes be honest to each other, communicate. Both of them are beautiful souls and I am happy they are in my life and when I see them I am total in their space and they are in mine and I am theirs, full stop. I can’t see why not. Are we all afraid of every little feeling we develop to another person, why feel threatened all the time? We have so little time, we are only here for such a short time. Just live in this moment you have with this person, don’t question, don’t expect, just be in it. It will not come back……never. I am a dreamer, or I am just true and not afraid?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Subkaity' Hey Wingman, I had a FB for about 6 months where it was just sex but than he told me he had feeliings for me, it made it difficult on me as my feelings were not there for him. I liked him as a friend and the sex was MINDBLOWING but there was no romantic feelings, we ended up stop being Fb about 4 weeks later. So for me it didn't work out when one person grows feelings for the other, but everyones situation is different so someone elses FB might of turned out better than my experience
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RHP User
12 years ago
have only really done FWB with ex partners bar the one I had with a RHP member. This has worked for me because I know why I don't want a relationship with them and only had one end badly, and one go back to a relationship.- Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
12 years ago
I have been in that position twice......Its almost inevitable IF you're capable of genuine empathy and emotion, and end up spending sufficient time with that person.I am still great friends with one.... and the other.... it was best for both of us to smile, hug, and thank eachother for the great experiences and shared tomes.... and let eachother go.DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
I've been seeing someone for quite some time, whom I consider a FWB rather than a FB. As well as having an explosive sexual connection we get on famously, and I like and respect him a great deal. Apart from our devious adventures we have don't have much in common however, and we choose to socialise with our own friends. I could not imagine developing any romantic feelings for this man, as much as we enjoy each other, and I have no doubt he feels the same way. Should I be proven wrong though, I would stop seeing him. Yes, I need love in my life, but have enough friends and family to fulfill this need. As far as my craving for intimacy is concerned; this is certainly something I AM getting out of this relationship (yes, relationship). But as I recently said I have discovered I can be intimate with someone without getting involved emotionally. The fact that I share this intimacy with some other people as well, certainly makes it easy to not confuse affection with infatuation.
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RHP User
12 years ago
As a couple, I would say that the moment romantic feelings develop, it's time to stop. Having said that, in my view, there will always grow some level of attachment in true FWB; that is, if you value the friendship as equally as you value the benefits - then, those FWB can only enrich your life! I guess the trick is recognising what your affections are and whether they are appropriate. My humble opinion only... Mrs Inadditionto - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Time for a break when that happens, and then move on.
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RHP User
12 years ago
It can happen! But don't cross that line as you will end up losing so much more then your friendship & more
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RHP User
12 years ago
It was good at some point and then it wasnt It is not something I would do again Apparently the same conventional "rules" dont apply
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFox' Quoting 'MisterGreen' ...not easy to find ! I sometimes wonder if everyone is secretly looking for Love !?! GG♒- Posted from rhpmobile I wonder that as well. HAHAHA it's not me - I am telling ya straight...Frightens the be-Jesus out of me!!!!!!!FOXY Me too Foxy.
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RHP User
12 years ago
As people have said here, it depends. It is time then to change the relationship from FWB to plain friendship if you still want the friendship. I've been in that situation. She wanted more, I thought about it and saw it wouldn't work so we parted ways for a while. She tells me I didn't understand how to be FWB as I treated her better and with more respect than some of her previous relationships. Is there a way FWB are supposed to treat each other?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Like a lot of you it did happen to me and I only found out as I was being posted far from the city. I perhaps should have seen it coming as we were good friends, worked well in bed together, had fun eating out and she was in a confirmed open relationship.As I was preparing to leave she told me she loved me, It really shook me as I did care for her a lot.So hard when your standing there and someone tells you that, such a huge range of emotions run through you all at once. I still think of her and wonder if it was a missed opportunity.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Very interesting topic! It can work in some instances, but both ppl must be very strong people n be able to distinguish between friendship n sex! If two ppl are good friends n already have partners but are looking for the missing piece of the puzzle then a fwb can be great! But when having sex it's sex, it's not love, it's fun adult interaction and when the sex is over - the friendship starts over! But if one has feelings for the other then it is time to get out!!! Break all ties n leave it alone! Especially if there are spouses involved n kids! So the moral of the story is to find that one person you know could be a fwb without the fuss - otherwise don't go there!
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Cheekyarses
12 years ago
If it's not love n you are married to someone else! Is it really worth leaving your happy home for a fuck? Seriously!! If your not married n just in it for the sex? But someone gets feelings but the other is having a great time with numerous ppl! Don't lead the person on who has feelings for you! Cut ties, tell them you are only in it for the fun n walk away!!! Because one day you maybe on the other end!
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RHP User
12 years ago
If you're both balanced people, you'll tend to find you both feel pretty much the same way at the same time. If they are not balanced (because YOU always are ~smiles~) then you move on before this happens.I don't subscribe to the whole "unrequited" love thing. If someone says they love you and you don't feel the same way, they are quite simply wrong about what they are feeling. There are many emotional feelings that can be mistaken for being in love.I had a shag buddy for over 9 months. Then one day it just suddenly became much more beautiful. It only ended, sadly, due to her children.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Beachlass' It can happen! But don't cross that line as you will end up losing so much more then your friendship & more
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'good_vagabond' Like a lot of you it did happen to me and I only found out as I was being posted far from the city. I perhaps should have seen it coming as we were good friends, worked well in bed together, had fun eating out and she was in a confirmed open relationship.As I was preparing to leave she told me she loved me, It really shook me as I did care for her a lot.So hard when your standing there and someone tells you that, such a huge range of emotions run through you all at once. I still think of her and wonder if it was a missed opportunity. OH Vag...My heart had a little flatter reading your post.AWWWWWWWWWWWWW What are you going to do??BIG HUGFoxy
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am going to have to do some real serious "CONTROLLING OF MY EMOTIONS".What to do if I do have serious emotions for someone??I'm not going to ruin/end a good friendship with someone....BUGGER THAT!!FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
Mr Otori and I (when we met) were both only out for a FWB situation. It very quickly became obvious that we could never just be FWB. Lucky for us the feelings were mutual and we've been together for nearly 5 years. I have seen however situations where one is emotionally involved and the other isn't, that's a sad sad ending. If it's going to work, you both need to be on the same page intimacy wise.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yes Been there done that, actually been there twice Had a FWB 2 very beautiful men, one off here and one I met through a friend of mine. The man I met through a friend was at a point in my life when I was seperated That lasted for 2 years and Im sure we would be together today if I hadnt given my marriage another chance, we still talk over the ph Maybe a BIG mistake the choice I made... The man I met off here, well that lasted 6 months but we still have a great friendship with. We both have partners and it was a bit complicated to meet in the end with his work and the travelling. Maybe one day who knows..... So yes you can get feelings if your getting intimate with someone, we are all human!!!
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