RHP

RHP User

M61

'Is being married a deal breaker?' (Companion thread)

January 19 2013

Let's attempt a basic survey. There will be no moralising or explanations. There is no soap box here. Just a simple question. Would you engage in an affair or dalliance with someone, who is married, without their spouse's knowledge? We have all read about different situations. The wife is terminally ill, existing on a hospital bed long term. The husband is abusive and so the wife is searching for intimacy and comfort. The husband spends extended periods away and the wife is lonely. The husband and wife are living seperate lives while still living in the same house but in seperate rooms. The husband has been unfaithful and the wife is looking for a pay back affair. If you can see yourself being with a person in a situation like this, answer 'yes'. If you could not do it under any circumstance, answer 'no'. If you have a comment, please take it to the other thread. Fair 'nuff? Okay, go.

Comments

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I have always been open about this,I have in the past,I am in the present,and I will in the future......lots of Scarlet Letters for me.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    YES from me.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    No judgement, but not for me.

  • xFunlovingx

    xFunlovingx

    12 years ago

    I am the same as Freya...have done...do it now and will in the future! Funny thing though...(don't shoot me for being honest)...I would rather a discreet affair than a guy in an open relationship type scenario as I have found in the past that eventually the woman wants to join in and I'm not bi and have no bi tendencies at all. That is only through MY experience! Bring on the cheating married men! xFunlovingx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    :-)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I have been that poor stupid trusting loving wife .... And I refuse to do that to anybody else just so I can get my rocks off. It ruined my marriage and it threw the lives of four little boys into disarray. No thrill in the world is worth that kind of payoff. That's my own personal view/moral stand and I'm not here to judge anyone else.- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    NO from me. xx- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    My answer is 'NO' Mikeys answer is 'NO'

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    No.

  • Hawt1

    Hawt1

    12 years ago

    What Ellebella said.. same for me.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    yes

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    No, I won't go there knowingly.

  • uneventful

    uneventful

    12 years ago

    Yes- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Yes, purely and simply for the edge/excitement- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I will not contribute to another persons misery and pain as it was so willingly done to me by others Man up ...Sort your shit out first, then call me

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Yes   Kisses Focus

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I'm not here to judge people.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    No prob for me. Only thing I don't like about the discreet affairs thing is that it's harder for them to meet up, have to plan in advance etc, so single is preferred from that point of view. But the naughtiness of it does turn me on :)- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    That's all.

  • MissSarahCurious

    MissSarahCurious

    12 years ago

    There's just no benefit to me when there are thousands of single guys out there. I don't do "complicated".

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    but you all know that

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Yes I have done in the past and have no idea of what the future holds.

  • belladonna888

    belladonna888

    12 years ago

    Yep yep :)

  • erotictouch4u

    erotictouch4u

    12 years ago

    Yes Their choice to put themselves out there but agree spontaneity is not easy.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Yes

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Never say never, and even never say never again.But, know that there's gonna be baggage.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Yes

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I don't make judgements .. If he loved his Wife and illness was the issue or companions Living seperate Lives and not sleeping together ....Yes.. The other reasons mentioned ...No.... I don't get involved , as it can end up very messyEnjoy Lu :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    its a dealbreaker for me

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    no...hell no, and I'd be pissed if I was lied to. I love the women in my life and as a woman, I would find it against everything that I believe to play around with someone that was cheating on his wife.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    yes

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'chilla67' Yes, purely and simply for the edge/excitement- Posted from rhpmobile You know which ladies to contact and the ones not to...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'MissSarahCurious' There's just no benefit to me when there are thousands of single guys out there. I don't do "complicated". I second that!! COMPLICATED = MESSY!!Deal Breaker....

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    i would

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    But woldn't rule it ot. His baggage, not mine.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    And hated it, the guilt really did my head in and I had to put an end to it.   No judgement here, the lady and I stayed good friends and I never lost respect for her.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    No :)- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    No with a capital HELL NO!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ...if all parties are aware and there is candid and open communication then I see zero issues with it.....a throbbing YES from me..... Danny x

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Very exciting times.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    A big fat "No" :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    i have to say yes.. its only natural if you can't get what you need and crave from your partner that you will seek it out somewhere else...it's a basic human need to feel touched..loved.. wanted..desired.. but i do also respect the people who choose to not go down this path.... xx

  • hotpassionpie

    hotpassionpie

    12 years ago

    NO!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    We wouldn't do it nor would meet others that want to even tho been offered sorry but open book preferred - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Both from a moral point of view, but also from a pragmatic point of view - don't want to get caught in the crossfire when it gets found out as it invariably will....

  • Dimples70

    Dimples70

    12 years ago

    That's a No, would never go there knowingly .....

  • rustler

    rustler

    12 years ago

    Yes I would

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Jees, I'm trying but getting nowhere (lol) What am I doing wrong... Apart from trying to cheat which is the obvious answer!- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I have no intention of getting in the middle of someone else's problems - had a case once where the girl didn't say anything after we'd met twice previously, only became an issue one night when she was leaving my bed saying her husband would question why she was so late at the girls' night... utterly dishonest to all concerned; to those who want to cheat, I say - grow a pair, have the talk - may not lead to dissolution of the primary relationship, may be an evolution instead...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Well its a NO from me .. not interested, so why do they still contact ??? its clear on my profile .. :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    It's a "No" from me

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    yes.. we're all grown ups, everyone makes their own decisions and yes, i do believe it's their issue not mine .. _having said that, I'd prefer a man(or woman) in an open /polyamourous relationship..that way, all parties are aware of external play .. FFJ xx

  • Genius_Ironman

    Genius_Ironman

    12 years ago

    But it would rule out me ever trusting them.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    And yes I would now and that's why I have come in here because I don't get it at home anymore and have not for years and I have been told no is forever !! Yes I do love my wife, I don't want a divorce I just want sex!! :) I would like to meet maybe one person, I want to feel again hell remember the shaking the excitement the touch kissing exploring each others bodies for weeks on end! Well I would like to feel that again!! I 50 not dead!! Peter

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I'm not after a relationship... just the buzz.. keep emotion out of the equation & just enjoy it

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ...And might i also add- HELL NO!!   Been cheated on before, and im not helping some jackass do it to someone eles and cause them such pain

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    since the majority of people are saying yes on here, what the fuck is the point of being married nowadays? Most people arent faithful anymore and the majority of the rest are happy to help them cheat so why bother?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    The answer would have to be no

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    yes for me, based simply (whether right or wrong) on the premise that if thier looking thier going to do the deed & it may as well be me as the next bloke. Yet in saying that I've never cheated when in a relationship

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I think that most will say that NO is the appropriate call, however if you have been in a relationship for as long as I have, and you have tried to talk about the issues but you seem to get nowhere, what would you do even though you still love each other, but you are not getting the satisfaction for your physical needs?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Our answer is a big NO !

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Yes! Straight up.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    As long as the other party doesn't know about it I couldn't stand doing it behind someone's back. On the other hand if its with their partners blessing, it's on!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    currently - yes   again - no.... maybe .... probably not .....

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Yes....no worries about attachments then.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    yes, yes, yes

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Have done Am doing Will do

  • WoodyWoodcock

    WoodyWoodcock

    12 years ago

    Come and get it YES's...no wait, I'll come to you. I can live with myself having fun and glad that you can too 😄 To the NO's...Fair call for you guys. To those who write their profile to suggest "anything goes", married/attached seeking discreet encounters with unattached...wtf? Not judging, just confounded!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    There is no excuse for it.....It's that simple- Posted from rhpmobile

  • WoodyWoodcock

    WoodyWoodcock

    12 years ago

    It seems that I should move north. NSW seems to be the place where the non-judgmental people hang. I tip my hat to Qld and WA too. Haha, lucky I spend some time in all of the FUN states 😄

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Definite no as I would not like that done to me for whatever reason!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ('Is being married a deal breaker?' from JP1970 on 'Guys Ask' or 'CHEATING' from Linkj on 'Hot Topics') but I'm trying to avoid discussion and conflict here so that we can get an accurate tally. By my count, we are sitting at thirty eight saying 'yes' and thirty two saying 'no'. Not a lot in it really.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    We have a married playmate and hes very nice.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    doesn't matter what the excuss is...there no reason to cheat.. if you do..then be mindful there are others in the bed. may not be physical but mentally they will be there ...i have been cheated on and have been with a married man..best sex ever..but i couldn't cope with the fact he was married...so i said good bye..so i maye just say no!!!!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'jennylee1903'We have a married playmate and hes very nice. Are you posting as Jennylee again??

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    no , i feel that the person should have deceny to let them know from the start that they like swinging . That way they can decide if thats what they want .... personally old skool dating (in person) is dated because end of the day , everything was backwards you'd get to know them as person and after a long time invested (6months-2years) then you find out what their deepest darkest fantasies are . Site's like this are awesome one click and you know wether you will get along sexually or not before investing time in dating . But end of the day im not trying to be judemental but i've been on the recieving end of this discussion , and i might have allowed to happen but when trust is broken your not left with anything in the relationship other than hurt.

  • smo669

    smo669

    12 years ago

    YES

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    No

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'imagoodone' There is no excuse for it.....It's that simple- Posted from rhpmobile ..You haven't seen my wedding vows. It is not adultery if there is transparency and honesty.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    absolutely yes YES

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Yes

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    No...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    have   am   and will again   endat

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    In the words of Woody Allen, "nothing is as secure as and affair between two happily married people." Yes. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    AM married now and was TOLD to go sleep with other women, she can't satisfy my needs "her words not mine". I have lived both sides of the coin, my previous wife cheated on me for 11 years and had me believe my middle child was mine sadly, that isn't the case, we drifted apart and I never once strayed, that was until I met my current wife who I had previously met as a child, she rocked my world and taught me a lot about life, I then was sleeping with different women most of them married or partnered until I fell in love with my current wife.I am now in the situation where sex is passionate but a rare thing, so I am on here doing as she suggested, relationships without attachments are ok just be honest about that up front and you can make lots of great friends with benefits, enjoy life whilst you can. be safe be kind be nice if your bitter about being cheated on in the past no new relationships will get to where you want them, you will always be wondering, I know I have been there

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Yes Same as funloving. Life is too short to not enjoy it fully. We all have different reasons why. Dont pre-judge!- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Hell no from me,not here to judge those who say yes but goes against who I am as a woman and partner.I dont and wont get why people seek affairs Ive seen and heard every excuse for it.Broke up with my husband of 15 years part of that was sexually he couldnt handle I was bi. I can sleep well knowing I grew strong enough to speak out and set him straight I was loyal from beginning to end,each to there own. Stay sexy ;)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Also from Mr Fun

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    No ! As long as they are open and honest about it up front.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Yes

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    That's all fine and well no judgement on the message you are trying to get across... but this coming from the man who also thinks it's okay to marry his adopted daughter?! Ewwww...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I answered wrong! I meant no we wouldn't be with someone married.   YES it is a dealbreaker.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I realised I had made it a bit confusing by using the title from JP1970's thread as the title for this one after reading some of the responses. I only mean't this as a companion thread and the actual question I was asking was in my opening post. If you would never have an affair with a married person, answer 'no'. If you have had an affair or wouldn't rule one out in the future, answer 'yes'. If anyone else feels that they answered incorrectly, feel free to correct your vote. As it stands now, the vote is 46 for 'yes' and 40 for 'no'.   By the way, hotpink13, I already adjusted yours to 'no' you wouldn't.

  • bexta1971

    bexta1971

    12 years ago

    yes

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    No way in hell.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    My original answer was yes, it would be a deal breaker but it should be...No I could not do so it under any circumstancewhich makes it (depending on how many others got confused)45 yes 42 noHardly a telling differenceHugs

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I think that it's a wee bit harsh and judgemental to poo poo my entire post but, again, that's okay, I'm used to it.   Well then, the tally stands at 45 pro and 42 con. Those figures reflect the results of recent surveys on the subject which suggest that slightly over fifty percent of the population have been involved in an affair at some time in their life. This also supports Messolonghi's observation in his "Swingers are conservative" thread that our RHP community is representative of our society as a whole. Given that opinion is split in such a fashion, perhaps rather than telling other people they're wrong for not agreeing with one's own priorities, one should stop to consider why it is so.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Yes i have Yes I am   Yes i would do it again.......(even tho my current profile says no)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    No and no

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