F56
It takes Two!
March 08 2013
Comments
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Mischeviouslad
12 years ago
Theres some uncomfortable truth in that, miss Karyn...However.... I have yet to read a female profile in here that grandiosely promotes the owners abilities to satisfy, please, and do all manner of magical things, and that people should give them a go, just take a chance, try them out or that they "wont regret it" ... as so many mens profiles do.(and whats with using "he he"?!..... it reads rather creepily IMO)So the bigger or more frequent the promises made...... the more obvious the disappointment when it occurs.DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
Of course men say this! Where do you think the whole starfish concept comes from?? So I politely say bullshit to that comment. But I do agree that women need to speak up. Men too. But it's awkward isn't it. When do you say something? In the middle of it all? Is it impolite? You don't want to hurt their feelings. Etc etc. I am also guilty of this, I start looking at my watch, maybe fake an orgasm or two in the hopes he will finish quickly and walk out the door because I have already decided I am not going to see them again. And that is my fault as I have rushed things or someone has caught me in a weak/horney moment and I have slept with someone when I shouldn't have. I am not blaming the other party for this at all and thankful it has only happened a few times in my life. But is my doing this better and less embarrassing for the other person than stopping in the middle if it and saying this isn't doing it for me?? It seems to me it's the foreplay which is an issue. Women need more warming up then men. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Do women still expect men to take the lead? Gawd... Where are the men who do that??? I have given up on meeting one. ;-( Karyn... I am always doing it myself so I always orgasm by the way. ;-)- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
But i think one of the reasons we don't oversell ourselves is because we think all we need to do is SHOW UP! Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'Theres some uncomfortable truth in that, miss Karyn... However.... I have yet to read a female profile in here that grandiosely promotes the owners abilities to satisfy, please, and do all manner of magical things, and that people should give them a go, just take a chance, try them out or that they "wont regret it" ... as so many mens profiles do. (and whats with using "he he"?!..... it reads rather creepily IMO) So the bigger or more frequent the promises made...... the more obvious the disappointment when it occurs. DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yes, it's true there is the starfish....but it's not that common a thread........whereas we see a "dud root" thread every other week! I think some women take the passive agressive stance and air their greivances on here hoping the man concerned will read it. Isn't that doing more damage than good? I get the feeling Meeka that you wouldn't hesitate to take control if things weren't working........ Quoting 'Meeka100' Of course men say this! Where do you think the whole starfish concept comes from?? So I politely say bullshit to that comment. But I do agree that women need to speak up. Men too. But it's awkward isn't it. When do you say something? In the middle of it all? Is it impolite? You don't want to hurt their feelings. Etc etc. I am also guilty of this, I start looking at my watch, maybe fake an orgasm or two in the hopes he will finish quickly and walk out the door because I have already decided I am not going to see them again. And that is my fault as I have rushed things or someone has caught me in a weak/horney moment and I have slept with someone when I shouldn't have. I am not blaming the other party for this at all and thankful it has only happened a few times in my life. But is my doing this better and less embarrassing for the other person than stopping in the middle if it and saying this isn't doing it for me?? It seems to me it's the foreplay which is an issue. Women need more warming up then men. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
And i've never seen a thread posted by you whining about a dud root eiather!....pretty sure that's no coincidence! Quoting 'Meeka100' Do women still expect men to take the lead? Gawd... Where are the men who do that??? I have given up on meeting one. ;-( Karyn... I am always doing it myself so I always orgasm by the way. ;-)- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well I hope I don't man bash because I don't like doing that. I like men and I enjoy their company enormously. And yes, it does take two to tango. But I have had guys who rush through things and even though I may have orgasmed I am not really satisfied either. I have been guilty of not saying anything too. But I wouldn't post it in a forum I don't think. I know it's all subjective too. What I think is terrible other women think is fantastic. We are all different. I am am not the best root I am sure!! I need more practice. :( - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
While women have themselves sitting on their own blowup pedestal like some precious little miss muffet, and men allow it.....it will continue....it's just the way it is.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Firstly, show me a woman that can orgasm from 5 mins of oral sex(on the first orgasm that is)! As long as your not writing something like "I just had sex with Joeblow69 and he is crap, I practically had to draw this guy a mud map and he still didn't know what he was doing, idiot". That would just crush a man. In saying that, if he reads your post and he is a real man, he will want to improve. Some times there is a fine line between what you want from a lover and what a lover can provide. Some lovers can meet the needs of only a few. Others are just selfish and unwilling to satisfy anyone but themselves. Secrets
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RHP User
12 years ago
I posted this on another forum post but I think this is better discussed here.Ok, I was with a girl who would have multiple orgasms and be done within 5 minutes. She did not want to get rid of me as she would come back for more at other times. Again, always done in 5 minutes. So, I know this must be a trade secret or something, but how can a guy know if it is a (multiple?) fake orgasms. Can women have multiple orgasms in 5 minutes?
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RHP User
12 years ago
His profile promised, good with massage. Well that won me over, I love massage. I did get a bit wary when he asked what he should buy to massage with, I'd know better now lol. Anyhoo, he bought baby oil? A few rubs on the back and it's all over. So we move onto intercourse and the only position he was interested in was hiking my legs up over his shoulders. I'd already told him earlier in the day that I had a bit of a belly ache and suggested rescheduling for when I was feeing better, he was worried it was a op out and I decided the massage might help. No such luck. I repeated that I had a belly ache and that position wasn't doing it for me. Moved him to a different possie only to have him putting my legs back over his shoulders moments later. In the end, I told him it was a no go because of the belly ache which was getting worse from being tipped upside down. Sat and had a bit of a chat before we headed off. The problem, he wouldn't listen when it mattered. Seemed like a nice man, messaged for a another meet but we said no thanks. It was nice to get a message wishing us a Happy New Year a few months later. No attempt at introducing the idea of another meet up. I never had an orgasm with anyone we met, never blamed them and never faked it. Why give them the idea that they are working in that area when they're not. I like to fuck though, a lot lol. I always knew I'd get a chance to work out all that energy with the Mr during the next week, so I never felt like I was missing out. A lot of effort was made on my behalf more often than not. I just found I'd get so excited, I'd go past the point where I could orgasm. Alls I ever wanted was a good hard cock, sorry, I mean two. hehePeachy
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Smilingwithfun
12 years ago
Oh so true. The law says equal rights,yet men are still expected to be the chaser.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'MrsPeachyPier' His profile promised, good with massage. Well that won me over, I love massage. I did get a bit wary when he asked what he should buy to massage with, I'd know better now lol. Anyhoo, he bought baby oil? A few rubs on the back and it's all over. So we move onto intercourse and the only position he was interested in was hiking my legs up over his shoulders. I'd already told him earlier in the day that I had a bit of a belly ache and suggested rescheduling for when I was feeing better, he was worried it was a op out and I decided the massage might help. No such luck. I repeated that I had a belly ache and that position wasn't doing it for me. Moved him to a different possie only to have him putting my legs back over his shoulders moments later. In the end, I told him it was a no go because of the belly ache which was getting worse from being tipped upside down. Sat and had a bit of a chat before we headed off. The problem, he wouldn't listen when it mattered. Seemed like a nice man, messaged for a another meet but we said no thanks. It was nice to get a message wishing us a Happy New Year a few months later. No attempt at introducing the idea of another meet up. I never had an orgasm with anyone we met, never blamed them and never faked it. Why give them the idea that they are working in that area when they're not. I like to fuck though, a lot lol. I always knew I'd get a chance to work out all that energy with the Mr during the next week, so I never felt like I was missing out. A lot of effort was made on my behalf more often than not. I just found I'd get so excited, I'd go past the point where I could orgasm. Alls I ever wanted was a good hard cock, sorry, I mean two. hehePeachy SPEACHLESS.............
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RHP User
12 years ago
Men should be open to instructions from the lady, and the lady maybe mite enjoy taking to lead for once. Hell if I'm not hitting the right spot, I want the girl to tell me. While I think I got the basics down and can hold my own, everyone is different and likes different things.
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xFunlovingx
12 years ago
I pee my pants with laughter when I read "Sisterhood" on here...most of these girls don't even know each other and have never met...my bet is if they both liked the same guy the "Sisterhood" would be out the window! . As for it takes two, you are so right there! I used to never say anything but now I am known to get up half way through and say "Nope this ain't working for me" and stop it there! I will not put a mans cock anywhere near my mouth unless he has gone down on me! If it is a 69er and he stops...I stop too now (thanks everyone for the help I got with that Forum Thread I put up)! . I remember a few years back I got picked up by a young guy at a Computer Store and we organised to meet up for sex later that week. When we finished fucking he started bragging about how many fucks he gets...I looked at him and said "But did any come back for a second fuck?".....ZOOOOOOOOMM" Straight over his head lmfao! When he contacted me for sex again I just had to tell him how shit he was! I was kicking myself for not telling him at the time and stopping it...but over time you do get stronger in saying how you feel! I just have to laugh at the guys that you tell you won't catch up with again as the sex wasn't good (ie: the only speed they know is jackhammer) or if they don't go down and they come back with "You're fat anyway" or "You're too old for me anyway"! I just have to laugh! xFunlovingx
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enduran
12 years ago
As I am looking from the other side (e.g. the male) I know that i am usually the faster one ... Oh well i know that most men are so why not own up to it and adjust your behavior. Hence i can get much more fun out of it if i focus on the woman first. I will still get my pleasure. And I have noticed that most women are so much more 'motivated' if I do a good job. And I guess it does help that i really enjoy going down, so its not a favour its part of the fun ;-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yes, it is possible to have multiple orgasms in 5 minutes, not every time with every man, but yes it's possible. Personally i rarely reach a first orgasm within 5 minutes unless i'm playing alone .....or he's done a LOT of preparation. After the first it's easier and faster to get to the next. How to know for certain if she's faking it? A womans body will experience certain physiological changes as arousal increases and as orgasm approaches. I suggest you do some research and observations ;-) Quoting 'zu7bcv' I posted this on another forum post but I think this is better discussed here. Ok, I was with a girl who would have multiple orgasms and be done within 5 minutes. She did not want to get rid of me as she would come back for more at other times. Again, always done in 5 minutes. So, I know this must be a trade secret or something, but how can a guy know if it is a (multiple?) fake orgasms. Can women have multiple orgasms in 5 minutes?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Most men are faster! And that my friend is why you have no business having "intercourse" til she's cum! Quoting 'enduran' As I am looking from the other side (e.g. the male) I know that i am usually the faster one ... Oh well i know that most men are so why not own up to it and adjust your behavior. Hence i can get much more fun out of it if i focus on the woman first. I will still get my pleasure. And I have noticed that most women are so much more 'motivated' if I do a good job. And I guess it does help that i really enjoy going down, so its not a favour its part of the fun ;-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Words to use Here's some ideas: - Hey, i've got an idea i'd like to try - Hey, let me show you what really works for me - Hey, can i show you the position that makes me cum hard, everytime - I've really been wanting to do xyz, would you like to do that with me? - i love xyz, can we do a little of that - There's this game I've played with past lovers, i'll match you minute for minute....you go down on me then i'll return the favour. How long can you last?? - i love to watch a man masturbate to learn EXACTLY how he likes it, will you show me how you like it, then i'll return the favour - For the next 30 minutes i'm going to move around your body, i'm going to explore and try things, i want you to give me feedback on what you like, if you want it harder, softer etc, i am NOT going to let you cum in that time we are JUST learning. When i'm done, we will swap places
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RHP User
12 years ago
if it is lack of experience with some men despite their age.If they were married for gazzillions of years and did not have sex for many of the last few years ,then they would not necessarily know how to please different women. I also wonder if men are far more easily pleased than women?......
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RHP User
12 years ago
The OP suggested women can take responsibility for the "goodness" of time with a partner by taking some ownership of the experience, and communicating to said partner. And somehow that got translated to "if he's shit, I need to tell him it's over so he can fuck off". Feels like there is a huge missed point here... If it isn't going great, but you think it could, there is a middle ground... using the very wise tips above to make *this* experience work, right now. My take on the OP is that instead of kicking his ass out, or worse putting up with it, get him into shape, now! But that takes a whole bunch of confidence and maturity, from both parties. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
On second thought, perhaps because this is a sex site, there is an expectation that men advertising here will be better than the random pickup made in the vegetable section of Coles. That is, finding men here somehow should take some of the guesswork out. I should also acknowledge the issue peachy faced, the man with painted on ears... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Messolonghi, I think Karynbs post earlier on communicating ideas was superb. It really comes down to both parties acknowledging if things aren't really going right and perhaps changing or stopping what they are doing.Sometimes, as was in Peachy's case it surely is better to re-visit another day (perhaps after doing some sort of masseuse crash course!) but as Messo put's it his ears looked like they sure were painted on.Having said that people should really be careful what they put up on their profile sexually, because f you can't deliver the promise then it is going to be really awkward for you when you are found out.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Is it that there is such a glut of men on sites like RHP that women don't feel the need to invest in THIS encounter? Isn't mutual respect as important as mutual pleasure?? Now, I know that my screening process might be longer than many, but by the time i've met a man on here for a playdate, i've had a lot of conversations, phone calls and at least one meeting. Living in a rural area can mean that it can take a couple of months before we actually have a playdate. There's plenty of time to decide if we think the attraction is going to translate well to real life, many barriers along the way where it could fall down. We have both invested considerable time by the time of the play date. So i want it to go well. I'm prepared to invest the time to make sure we both have a great time. In addition to this, I value the humanness of the interaction, it's not a robot i'm sleeping with, but another human being who brings his own life experience to the table, his own history, possibly even his own hang ups....I want us both to walk away from the experience feeling as though what we just shared was a pleasurable and positive experience. I guess one of the costs of casual encounters is that no one wants to take the time to invest in another human being. Maybe it's just the "cost of doing business" here on RHP
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RHP User
12 years ago
''Instant sex is a time and labour saving device;but as leisure and energy are what we now have to excess,this is no recommendation. For flavour,it will never supersede the stuff you had to peel and cook''...Quentin Crisp
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RHP User
12 years ago
like everything good in life, you need to invest in it...so I believe a great time is to be had if you take the time.I love taking the time The reward is so spectacular
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RHP User
12 years ago
This topic keeps sticking in my head... I posted above as if it's easy to invest in *this* encounter. I didn't mean that and it's not true. It's hard and scary as meeka rightly points out. But it's worth it, I reckon. I recall an early girlfriend and I had the best sex after our relationship had imploded. It was as if we could do and say whatever we wanted, because we had nothing to lose or fear by expressing our needs. I wish I'd learnt the lesson on offer, there and then, not a decade later. I'm yet to read a profile that says "one offs only", so I think we all do want to find something that is on going (be it casual, nsa, fwb or whatever). That means accepting that, while there needs to be magic first time, it can and will improve. With investment. And it's possible to communicate during a one off, even a random drive-by. I've seen it done... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
You invest the time if you really like the person. Otherwise you just don't. I turn things into light hearted banter.... No no you can't do that until you do this! If you have a good rapport and similar sense of humour it's easy. But I would say that most women would like the man to take the lead in the bedroom. It turns me on a lot when they do. :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Spank me Daddy cause I have been a baaaaad girl. ;-) Okay admittedly that has nothing to do with the topic but I felt like saying it. :p
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RHP User
12 years ago
Maybe we shouldn't be having sex with people we don't "really like"?? Maybe that's really the crux of the matter......... As for the spanking......count me in! I haven't been really bad.....yet....today.... But I sure as hell thought about it!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
all those nasty, sexist jokes over the years...you know the ones... like her pussy was so big I had to put in a leg of mutton, pull out the bone before I could fuck her. What about, I had to rub one side with my cock and hope the other came across to join in... Or That big you could drive a Mack Truck in there and still have room to turn around.... . I guess that was not the male populace putting down women at all? What about the term... She was a frigid bitch.... . and one straight out of the mouth of my (then) 22 year old son... Any hole is a practice hole. . Thats right...we dont put up with men making these comments at all do we? It is all our fault that they want to act like pathetic little school boys when they cant get there own way or want to sit back and receive only head while watching porn and do nothing in return. After all...we are the ones that let them get away with this shit I have been hanging with the guys for as long as I can remember. There are occassions when they feel so comfortable having me around that they do discuss women in derogatory terms. Woe betide the woman who has the audacity to complain. We get barraged by the little-boy-sulk and get a veritable list of all our real or imagined faults in the bedroom before they storm off in a huff. . Yes I own my own orgasm that is because I am so adept at doing it myself....
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RHP User
12 years ago
Handcuffs - checkPaddle - checkbaton - checksilk ties - checkNow Meeka, you know your a bad girl and you have this comingKarynb, don't worry when I've finished with meeka, meeka and I willl take turns at getting it out of you! What you've done bad that is
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RHP User
12 years ago
....you're saying that we're blaming the victim, right? I guess it could sound like it. But I think at discussion isn't the bottom end of misogynist, feral men (the ones you describe, or in the case of a 22yo, ones pretending to be). I think we're talking about why seemingly good, decent men are perceived as dud roots (or why they end up being one half of a dud root). Meeka, I'm not talking about an investment of time, but an investment of risk. Risk looking like a fool, of being embarrassed, of being rejected, or having that terrible blank face stare back at you; the one that says "what are you saying?". That can take seconds to undertake.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
There is no man who "leads" who can work with a starfish. The man leads the Tango (see thread title), but she must follow well, including giving feedback.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
WHat the? So if you are in bed with someone and they are doing something you don't like... Or not touching you the right way? You say nothing cause you might look the fool? Bloody hell, are you serious? People get all weird about sex don't they.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yes. People are weird. Weird, and duds. I don't sleep with them, anymore. Don't even fuck them :-/ Your statement about rapport is so true. Without it, it's all for nought. My statement about leading men and starfish was not aimed at anyone here... but if a woman is mute in the face of a leading man, then she is playing a game of chance that his *thing* will correspond to here *thing*. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Communication. Talking during sex is okay! You know the yes that's it.. a little to the left, etc etc. What makes a good lover? Listening, watching and asking... and adapting your methods to suit the other person and the mood of the day. Not everyone is the same or likes the same things. You kind of sense when someone is not really into something don't you? Agree or disagree? So boys, if a girl is being a starfish what do you do? Just bang away? Or do you ask maybe I could be doing something differently?
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RHP User
12 years ago
By the way Messo you mention the investment of risk. It is strange isn't it. You are naked with this person and doing some of the most intimate of acts, yet you can't say when you don't like something or if you want to do something in particular. Why is this so?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Messolonghi' There is no man who "leads" who can work with a starfish. The man leads the Tango (see thread title), but she must follow well, including giving feedback.- Posted from rhpmobile I have a suggestion for you. Turn the starfish over face down and star poking the chocolate starfish. I guarantee you, you will get a reaction then or all your money back.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Put the gloves down a second. There are, as the op notes, forty bazzillion threads about how guys get it wrong, and could do better. I sure they're all pretty much correct. This is just a lone discussion about the other half of the equation. I agree with you on all the points you make about a good lover. Fuck, tattoo them on my arm, as a reminder. And many a man would concur (see all those other threads). But, it would be novel to have a woman jump in here and say (alongside your enlightened self, and the OP), "Yes, it does take two". Why can we be so intimate physically, yet so fearful emotionally? Answer that, and this website would cease to be required... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Ok, please revisit the title of this thread. It takes Two! I'm not attacking women. What I am saying is how hard is it to communicate rather than having both parties walk away from a bad experience? Take a small risk, invest a small amount of time, communicate and take control if the experience is not going how you want it to. This advice is as relevant for men as it is for women. The very next time I see a "She was a starfish" thread I shall offer up the same advice. Own it!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I give that starfish thingy a good spanking as well while i'm at it!
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RHP User
12 years ago
What gloves dude? Though I was just agreeing. Yes women should speak up, but all I was saying is that sometimes a man has to learn how to listen better as well. There are physical cues as well as verbal. When I said a good lover, that applies to women as well. Communication from both in order to have a successful encounter. Yes? And I disagree that this site and many like it would cease to exist if we were emotionally open or where not fearful of emotions. Well, at least that is not why I am here. Not sure about you.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Do you think some women are starfish because they have never really been shown what sex is all about? Or is it that ingrained lie back and think of England thought process. Do they think it is slutty to be active in the bedroom or what? Or is a woman a starfish because she is just not that into you? I am genuinely interested in the answer to that one.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Or they are not confident in the bedroom?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Meeka, I meant I'm not attacking, you don't need to say "it's not all women's fault", don't need to defend. Starfish is a stupid phrase. I'd like to kill it. I think you and I are in violent agreement. Can we make up now. I promise to just pound away without listening. Honest.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Meeka, I'm sure the reasons are many and varied, just as in the dud root situation. I will say that I think some women feel all they need to do is "show up"....a sense of entitlement if you like. Some might go so far as to say that sites like this one aid and abet them in that view- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Okay Messo.... I love arguing though. Don't you. Vagabond, I make a very convincing starfish when I am tied up. You can spank me then.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Really Karyn? I would have thought that everyone would like to be a good lover... maybe some people just don't realise what it takes.
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RHP User
12 years ago
your are so right. I strongly believe if the guy can't make me cum, i have to do it myself and i don't mind. In fact some times i prefer it that way.
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RHP User
12 years ago
seriously what guy can go down on a women for hours,I know I cant suck cock for hours on end,and I know im not a dud root,so the bitches that complain can just keep using their dildos for pleasure and if they call men dud roots what are they when they just lay there legs open expecting to get served
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RHP User
12 years ago
I did see your post where you mentioned, "Sometimes, as was in Peachy's case it surely is better to re-visit another day (perhaps after doing some sort of masseuse crash course!) but as Messo put's it his ears looked like they sure were painted on."I thought I'd include that this was our first meet on RHP and I did try some of the sorts of things mentioned by Karynb. There were other concerns that I won't bother mentioning but I absolutely agree with you that a re-visit can pay off. There was this other guy... another time who had nerves and that didn't surprise me when guys are with a couple for the first time, I know I had nerves too. A bit of coaxing got things going where we wanted and the re-visit only got better, no sign of nerves like the first time at all!Thanks Messo for recognising that not all situations are the same, this man was of an age where I would have hoped he would have picked up more 'sensitivity' and know to make use of those ears... You know, like breathing through them while he had his face in a place guarenteed to make me feel good! Hehe Peachy.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Have to agree with the communication comments, I have met a number of women who may have come out of long term relationships and the sex has become "comfort zone", no exploration or sharing of desires and what "feels right". Should I meet such a woman, when it comes time to play, I touch, feel and ask what feels good, every womans body responds differently to each touch, so gentlemen, don't treat them all the same, they are all unique. Now , being a dominant male, I have no hesitation in sharing what I like, or demonstrating, ultimately ending in mutual satisfaction. Simple , ask and you shall receive.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Okay Messo.... I love arguing though. Don't you. Of course I do! ...but I would hate for someone to feel I'm attacking them. I know, it's the internet, its just words, etc... but these are topics close to people's hearts. Even though I don't know you, I guess I should know better than to worry you're going to take offence!Quoting 'Meeka100'I would have thought that everyone would like to be a good lover... maybe some people just don't realise what it takes. Are you serious? There are those that don't think that it's important. There are those that don't realise that it actually 'takes' something. There are those that realise it takes something, but not what that it is. Those that realise that it takes something, and know what it is, but can't bring themselves to do it. Those who know what it takes, and haven't found someone they can feel comfortable doing it with or who reciprocates.The human capacity to make things awkward is apparently limitless.And then there are those surrounded by people who make jokes about removing the bone from a side of beef. By god, that would make me shut up shop.Quoting 'Meeka100'Do you think some women are starfish because they have never really been shown what sex is all about? Or is it that ingrained lie back and think of England thought process. Do they think it is slutty to be active in the bedroom or what? Or is a woman a starfish because she is just not that into you? I am genuinely interested in the answer to that one. Well, that depends - on the nature of this generic women we're talking about. I have experienced inhibitions or difficulties for different reasons... the notion that being active, or even active in certain ways, is slutty, dirty, and inappropriate, yes. Also, for fear of being embarrassed (and that's clearly a poor reflection on me, too, that I didn't make her comfortable), yes I've been there, too. I've never had the "lie back and think of England" thing... that is sex for duty, right, the idea that a woman shouldn't enjoy it? No, never. I do know people (men and women) who have a very specific and narrow view of what sex is about. It doesn't match my view, and probably consigns them to the wilderness of your "don't know what sex is about" group. They come from conservative/reserved families, they have reserved friends, and their relationships have been reserved. They haven't had a lightbulb moment which has made them think, "I want more", despite having watched every episode of sex in the city ever produced ;)And yes, I have had a poor experience which I put down to someone having sex with me when they really weren't that into it. I think it was a sympathy fuck - not in sympathy of me, but of herself... "oh, he wants to fuck me, I'd better take it". Still feel a bit bleh about that, oh so many years later.Quoting 'Meeka100'And I disagree that this site and many like it would cease to exist if we were emotionally open or where not fearful of emotions. Well, at least that is not why I am here. Not sure about you. I'm here to find liberated people, who like to enjoy new things. I think of this as a sex site, but I'm not into fuck-n-go. I'm also here to learn some more.My realisation is that, despite the pretexts, this place has more baggage than an airport, with more wounded than an episode of MASH (yes, I'm old) but without so many laughs, and more prejudices than a conclave. Not everyone, clearly, and you could write a list as long as your arm of real people here with their shit sorted. But I expected to find myself at the "loony" end of the spectrum, and I'm not. I also expected to find myself "tame". Again, apparently not.It's remarkably like the real world (shock).So, I expected this place to be a special club house for kinky and unencumbered. But what keeps its wheels of commerce turning is actually the inability of people to be honest with themselves about what they want and need, and their inability to communicate that with other people.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'MrsPeachyPier' Thanks Messo for recognising that not all situations are the same, this man was of an age where I would have hoped he would have picked up more 'sensitivity' and know to make use of those ears... You know, like breathing through them while he had his face in a place guarenteed to make me feel good! Hehe Peachy. You're very welcome.Also, you're invited to use my ears any time as handles. It's just like flying a plane, but you don't aim for the landing strip.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well said.It is not easy to write on this forums what you are all about, that's in this case me.I belief it is the person to person dialog you have with some, which brings this to the surface however only when you have nothing to hide or fear. Again in my case, I am free enough to do so.I couldn't even voice what I wonne express on here.But it is easy for me to say it to a person I am interested in.Every lover is different and with some you click and with others not. I don't think we should say anything negative, because we can all be at times a dud, I have been for sure.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yes, it's true there is the starfish....but it's not that common a thread........whereas we see a "dud root" thread every other week! I think some women take the passive agressive stance and air their greivances on here hoping the man concerned will read it. Why is it when a woman has a point of view its passive aggressive. I am one of those women who write about the so called dud root If you go back I actually do not say DUD root, I say Inconsiderate , thoughtless, no Mutual pleasure. Ignorance in not WILLING to learn. Women are not given orgasms by men your right, but like Meeka said we need a warm up. At last women speak up in forums like this, having a voice about their end of the so called stick And Its again Our fault? I am sixty and in my day you made your bed you lay in it, orgasm free for that whole time. I have daughters and even they are not able to articulate their needs sometimes. Not all of us a can say excuse me but please don’t put your pants back on, yes I know the motor of your car is still running but hey, I have a clitoris and I would like you to see what it can do. Lets take a Mutual spin around the block. I own my opinions, I own my voice on the forums and the last thing I need is a woman telling me that I should suck it up sunshine The forums have allowed us to articulate our thoughts and feelings and perhaps in the doing educate a few guys on here. That cuts out fucking them all and handing them instructions, as most do not read the instructions anyway. Its about advertising if you have no intention what so ever in doing what you say you do. What do you do if a guy blows and goes...oh wait that has never happened to you in all your sexual life. And yes the there is a Santa clause. I guess you think we should not have got the vote either? Is this 1952 , shall we all just be nice ladies and zip it? Rhp is for us to expand our sexual horizons and for us to get what we want, so if you shop on line one expects to get what the product says it will do, or would you just say ok, they said this thing did this this and this but it don't so I will just put it in the cupboard with the other stuff and keep my mouth shut? Rhp is about sex, its about advertising and marketing. So its now us women’s fault if the product is faulty. Ok sorry silly me next time I will just lay back and think of England. and the men rather than man concerned, well yes I hope they do read the thoughts of women on sexuality. sister hood, I am not into that at all but I am into womens right to voice their thoughts on their experiences. You voiced yours and I dont agree but you have the right to your thoughts as well.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Couldn't agree more. I think I have an equal responsibility in throwing myself whole heartedly into our "encounter " and if something's not right, to gently show or suggest what works better for me. Whilst men certainly have to "hold out" till the job is done , I definitely think it takes two:) Meeka is right the whole foreplay thing is gold! The lover who spends time with me at the start can take me anywhere later!! Minxy xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Could it be possible that two people get naked and whilst one enjoys it thoroughly the other enjoys it just so? I personally always try and find out what a woman likes before we meet and even when we meet and get (mmmmmmm) naked, there are still questions I ask. I have yet to come across a woman who will just lie there and not say anything if I am doing it not how she likes it. And I am the same. If I don't like, I will definitely say so, after all, some women do have sharp teeth, LOL.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Tuscan, firstly i'd like to say that many times i've read your posts and found myself laughing out loud at how you manage to so succinctly capture what i'm thinking with no BS and no holds barred. Thankyou for sharing your insights. However, on several points in this post we do not agree. First: I'm not attacking women. I'm ALL about empowering women. It's my view that if we spoke up, or at least took action at the time of the "DUD" interaction there would be fewer dissatisfied,disillusioned women out there. Quoting 'tuscanred' Yes, it's true there is the starfish....but it's not that common a thread........whereas we see a "dud root" thread every other week! I think some women take the passive agressive stance and air their greivances on here hoping the man concerned will read it. Quoting 'tuscanred' Why is it when a woman has a point of view its passive aggressive. Passive Agressive Behaviour is not the domain of just women. Expressing an opinion is NOT passive agressive behaviour. Passive agressive behaviour is agressive behaviour carried out in a non assertive or indirect way ie: expressiing disatisfaction via the forums instead of telling the person involved. I am one of those women who write about the so called dud root I would like to add that my original post was not in reference to any forum post you made, so i'm not sure which thread you refer to below. Quoting 'tuscanred' If you go back I actually do not say DUD root, I say Inconsiderate , thoughtless, no Mutual pleasure. Ignorance in not WILLING to learn. Women are not given orgasms by men your right, but like Meeka said we need a warm up. At last women speak up in forums like this, having a voice about their end of the so called stick And Its again Our fault? The title of the thread is "It takes Two" I'm not blaming anyone, i'm saying it's time we stepped up to the plate and asked for what we want. Take some control of the process to ensure we get outcomes we are happy with, rather than relying on nothing more than hope. Quoting 'tuscanred' I own my opinions, I own my voice on the forums and the last thing I need is a woman telling me that I should suck it up sunshine I certainly didn't say anyone should suck it up, (In fact i don't see any comments in here along those lines) in fact i'm an advocate for the exact opposite. I do believe if you lay back and suck it up, you deserve bad sex....which was clearly stated in my opening comment. Quoting 'tuscanred' Rhp is about sex, its about advertising and marketing. So its now us women’s fault if the product is faulty. Ok sorry silly me next time I will just lay back and think of England. Is the product necessarily faulty if a women doesn't cum? Perhaps it's just being used in the wrong way? Quoting 'tuscanred' and the men rather than man concerned, well yes I hope they do read the thoughts of women on sexuality. Me, i'd rather share my thoughts on sexuality with the man concerned .....and then we can BOTH do something about it instead of walking away dissatisfied. As lovely as it is to have the support of the ladies, and men, on these forums.....it isn't going to change a thing if I DON"T CHANGE! Quoting 'tuscanred' but I am into womens right to voice their thoughts on their experiences. You voiced yours and I dont agree but you have the right to your thoughts as well. As am I, i respect your opinion, and i love reading your thoughts on many subjects.
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RHP User
12 years ago
a few Dudley not Studley roots in the last few years,and I have to say they have been memorable,have made me laugh a lot.Sex doesn't have to be sooo serious,every experience has its upside...,.no pun intended.The men who have made me laff a lot include. The man who kneaded me,he threw me around the bed with gusto,his instructions left me speechless and dizzy....and while I lay there exhausted,he gazed into my eyes and said''Did you cum yet?''...bless him. The man who mistook me for lunch....While I had no complaints about his technique,I doubt that I have ever had soooo many big Os,he kept on making yum,yum,yum,noises which actually made me laugh,so not sexy of me ,but I just couldn't help it. Should I have stopped mid session and given them instructions or asked them to leave,maybe .But really who cares,we just were not a good fit so to speak,but it does make me smile to remember them.
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RHP User
12 years ago
What's with some dudes throwing you around, and changing positions every few minutes?? Just as I am getting into it they go and change positions...again. Now I am pretty flexible but even I think anal sex while I am positioned into a pretzel shape may not be so enjoyable. No need to show every position you have in your armory the very first round peeps!! I like slow sensual sex ... The fast furious is good too but it has to be a mutual thing for it to work. Nothing like a romantic evening, sexy slow sensual music playing in the background... And then slam. The race to maneuver you in the most positions in the shortest amount of time begins. :P
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RHP User
12 years ago
The Karma Sutra in 30 minutes......it's a new Olympic event being debuted at the 2016 Olympics, these guys are just working on their routines.- Posted from rhpmobile
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inspirit
12 years ago
I perceive the opening post a definite attack on woman - then I see a justification for it....... Probably breaking some sisterhood rule that i've never heard of.....may get chased out of town....BUT.... WHY SAY THIS IF YOU ARE NOT EXPECTING A BACKLASH IF THIS POST IS NOT AN ATTACK ON WOMAN Why do we see so many forum posts about guys being a "dud Root" YOU DO????? JUST NOT ON TUSCANS LMAO.....BECAUSE THEY ARE THOUGH... WOULD YOU LIKE SOME NAMES..... THEY MAYBE BETTER NOW THOUGH, AS I TAUGHT THEM A FEW TRICKS ALTHOUGH, THEY MAY STILL BE A DUD ROOT FOR THE NEXT VICTIM..... or comments like......"he said he loved to go down for hours.....five minutes and he was done" WELL WHAT CAN WE SAY ABOUT THIS TURKEY...TALKS IT UP IN HIS PROFILE AND THEM WAMMO - HIS FULL OF SHIT.... OF COURSE I AM GOING TO TELL HIM THAT Would we tolerate men saying this about women??? Wouldn't we think that was disrespectful?? Damaging to our self esteem?? ARE YOU FKN SERIOUS!! WE HAVE TOLERATED SHIT OUT OF SOME MEN'S MOUTHS FOR YEARS - HOW ABOUT I GIVE THE POOR FUCKERS A "PARTICIPATION TROPHY" YOU KNOW THE ONES. SUPPOSE TO BE GREAT FOR THEIR SELF ESTEEM...... DO I FIND IT DISRESPECTFUL IF MY MATE SAYS TO ME HE HAD A STARFISH ROOT...UMM NO AS IT IS HOW HE FELT ABOUT THE ROOT NOT ME...... It's important to remember you can't have sex alone. It's a journey TWO people take together. IF it's not good it took TWO of you to acheive that outcome. BULLSHIT! It's about time woman owned their orgasms. THIS IS NOT AN ATTACK NOW IS IT?. I OWN MY ORGASMS AND IF I AM WITH A DUD ROOT HE GETS TO USE THE TOYS Never have a i heard a man say........I didn't cum, it's her fault!!! NEVER HAVE I HEARD A MAN NOT CUM. UNLESS MAYBE HE HAS HAD A DUD ROOT AND ABOUT TO TELL HIS MATES. If you aren't prepared to guide, teach, discuss, support, direct or even just do it yourself. You deserve to get what you've settled for! ANOTHER ATTACK I SEE...... WHY DON'T YOU DIRECT THIS AT THE MEN WHO CAN NOT INITIATIVE AND ASK A WOMAN WHAT SHE WANTS. Ladies it's time we stopped playing the victim. MEN IT IS TIME YOU LEARN'T TO READ A WOMAN'S BODY THROUGH YOUR SENSES. Now...in defense of my madness above I will say I understand where you may be coming from however your wording in this particular post has pissed me off a little. OK -- FALLEN FROM LIMB NOW - bring in the boots I have my big girls blouse on
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thanks Inspirit for your comments, you obviously feel strongly about this topic........ Interesting that you felt the need to "SHOUT" at me, at first i thought your caps lock must have been on.....but then i reached the last few lines and realised that the caps were indeed deliberate. So i took at look at my original post to see if the tone was overtly aggressive and if that is what provoked your shouting, i'll always look at my own performance first. I can't see that it is agressive, no previous posters seem to have found it agressive, so i can only assume the problem lies with you. Quoting 'inspirit' I perceive the opening post a definite attack on woman - then I see a justification for it....... Probably breaking some sisterhood rule that i've never heard of.....may get chased out of town....BUT.... WHY SAY THIS IF YOU ARE NOT EXPECTING A BACKLASH IF THIS POST IS NOT AN ATTACK ON WOMAN I did expect some backlash....not because i'm attacking women , but because i knew my opinion was not following "popular" opinion, rather like the "Elephant in the room" Why do we see so many forum posts about guys being a "dud Root" Quoting 'Insprit" YOU DO????? JUST NOT ON TUSCANS LMAO.....BECAUSE THEY ARE THOUGH... WOULD YOU LIKE SOME NAMES..... THEY MAYBE BETTER NOW THOUGH, AS I TAUGHT THEM A FEW TRICKS ALTHOUGH, THEY MAY STILL BE A DUD ROOT FOR THE NEXT VICTIM..... I could name at least two or three in the past weeks, many more in the time i've been on RHP, but no, i wasn't commenting on Tuscan's thread in this particular case. or comments like......"he said he loved to go down for hours.....five minutes and he was done" Quoting 'Inspirit' WELL WHAT CAN WE SAY ABOUT THIS TURKEY...TALKS IT UP IN HIS PROFILE AND THEM WAMMO - HIS FULL OF SHIT.... OF COURSE I AM GOING TO TELL HIM THAT Excellent, nor was I suggesting that you don't tell him. In fact my comments on here are ALL about giving feedback to improve the interaction Would we tolerate men saying this about women??? Wouldn't we think that was disrespectful?? Damaging to our self esteem?? Quoting 'Inspirit' ARE YOU FKN SERIOUS!! WE HAVE TOLERATED SHIT OUT OF SOME MEN'S MOUTHS FOR YEARS - HOW ABOUT I GIVE THE POOR FUCKERS A "PARTICIPATION TROPHY" YOU KNOW THE ONES. SUPPOSE TO BE GREAT FOR THEIR SELF ESTEEM...... DO I FIND IT DISRESPECTFUL IF MY MATE SAYS TO ME HE HAD A STARFISH ROOT...UMM NO AS IT IS HOW HE FELT ABOUT THE ROOT NOT ME...... Actually, no, i have NOT tolerated this kind of interaction. In fact if a man was that disrespectful he wouldn't be a friend of mine It's important to remember you can't have sex alone. It's a journey TWO people take together. IF it's not good it took TWO of you to acheive that outcome. Quoting 'Inspirit' BULLSHIT! And?? It's about time woman owned their orgasms. Quoting 'Inspirit' THIS IS NOT AN ATTACK NOW IS IT?. I OWN MY ORGASMS AND IF I AM WITH A DUD ROOT HE GETS TO USE THE TOYS My point is simply, be involved in the process, give feedback where necessary, change what needs changing, do what you need to do in order to enjoy the experience, that may just mean masturbating...I thought i had made this point clearly, perhaps not? Never have a i heard a man say........I didn't cum, it's her fault!!! Quoting 'Inspirit' NEVER HAVE I HEARD A MAN NOT CUM. UNLESS MAYBE HE HAS HAD A DUD ROOT AND ABOUT TO TELL HIS MATES. Actually, i've heard of men not cumming, i've experienced it myself, The reasons can be physiological or pyschological. Rest assured it does happen, yes a dud root might be one of those reasons, my observation is ONLY that i've not seen any men on here decrying the fact that they didn't cum If you aren't prepared to guide, teach, discuss, support, direct or even just do it yourself. You deserve to get what you've settled for! Quoting 'Inspirit' ANOTHER ATTACK I SEE...... WHY DON'T YOU DIRECT THIS AT THE MEN WHO CAN NOT INITIATIVE AND ASK A WOMAN WHAT SHE WANTS. Again my point is, if we can't ask for filet mignon at the restaurant, don't be suprised when the waiter delivers hamburgers. Ask for what you want, then together do what needs to be done to receive it. Ladies it's time we stopped playing the victim. Quoting 'Inspirit' MEN IT IS TIME YOU LEARN'T TO READ A WOMAN'S BODY THROUGH YOUR SENSES. Might as well ask them to take up mind reading while you are at it! And who are the teachers going to be? Quoting 'Inspirit" Now...in defense of my madness above I will say I understand where you may be coming from however your wording in this particular post has pissed me off a little. OK -- FALLEN FROM LIMB NOW - bring in the boots I have my big girls blouse on Any time you'd like to make some considered points rather than a diatribe i'm happy to discuss my thoughts further. Afterall there forums are about discussion of different points of view.
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RHP User
12 years ago
It takes two but honestly sometimes three is better. ;-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' It takes two but honestly sometimes three is better. ;-) Yes but two in couples corner really means four doesn't it?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Freya13' a few Dudley not Studley roots in the last few years,and I have to say they have been memorable,have made me laugh a lot.Sex doesn't have to be sooo serious,every experience has its upside...,.no pun intended.The men who have made me laff a lot include. The man who kneaded me,he threw me around the bed with gusto,his instructions left me speechless and dizzy....and while I lay there exhausted,he gazed into my eyes and said''Did you cum yet?''...bless him. The man who mistook me for lunch....While I had no complaints about his technique,I doubt that I have ever had soooo many big Os,he kept on making yum,yum,yum,noises which actually made me laugh,so not sexy of me ,but I just couldn't help it. Should I have stopped mid session and given them instructions or asked them to leave,maybe .But really who cares,we just were not a good fit so to speak,but it does make me smile to remember them. I am sure men say that about me as well, as if you hold me to tight I might just fart! Guys that go at it with gussto and passion and give it their best shot are not the ones I refer to its attitude that makes for good sex, not how experienced you are just how you treat a person. In or out of bed , manners count. I think a lot goes out the window because of the nature of a sex site. Presumptions are made, errors of communication due to no facial expressions and yes some guys think that the women on here are free hookers and not deserving of any consideration. there are vunerable men and women on here, many who may not get their end away for years , including women. and as for the blow up pedistal some guy refered to that us bitches have, well honey mine has a shit load of holes in it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Message the op that way it saves us other girls a shit load of bad sex
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RHP User
12 years ago
Haha, geez thanks Tuscan. Suprisingly i rarely ever have bad sex Quoting 'tuscanred' Message the op that way it saves us other girls a shit load of bad sex
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RHP User
12 years ago
or more........ Quoting 'Meeka100'It takes two but honestly sometimes three is better. ;-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
I've always thought this whole sex gag is taken a little too seriously. I mean lets consider for a moment what is actually happening on a physical level...erm...genitals, buttholes, nipples and (I've heard) even elbows in oral cavities...and that's just to begin with...it just gets funnier from there...the idea that sex should be a serious, performance based, do or die planet saving ritual is silly and I'm sure all would agree with that, yes? So, assuming we all agree we are not blowing asteroids off an earth collision whilst going down on jane or steve, then why do we often take it so seriously? Or feel let down if its not up to vegas standards when we've done nothing to really help it along? I've had the best sex of my life when its been a total giggle fest because if we're comfortable enough to laugh and giggle during intimacy then shaping the encounter to cover each players 'bases' is not that hard and just comes on its own (pun intended) without feeling like you're handing out orders to the mail guy....just my 2567 cents
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RHP User
12 years ago
I love your brutal honesty x
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RHP User
12 years ago
Love how you think
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Messolonghi' Quoting 'MrsPeachyPier' Thanks Messo for recognising that not all situations are the same, this man was of an age where I would have hoped he would have picked up more 'sensitivity' and know to make use of those ears... You know, like breathing through them while he had his face in a place guarenteed to make me feel good! Hehe Peachy. You're very welcome.Also, you're invited to use my ears any time as handles. It's just like flying a plane, but you don't aim for the landing strip. Suh!
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inspirit
12 years ago
Dear Karynb, it is a true wonder how people perceive our own written word wouldn't you agree perhaps. Quoting 'karynb' Thanks Inspirit for your comments, you obviously feel strongly about this topic........ YOU THINK?.... NO NOT REALLY I DON'T....WHAT I FELT STRONG ABOUT WAS ANOTHER WOMAN'S ATTACK ON OTHERS ON HERE. AS FOR THE TOPIC YOU WERE PERHAPS TRYING TO CONVEY ON "HOW COMMUNICATION IS IMPORTANT TO RECEIVE WHAT YOU DESIRE IN THE IN AND OUT OF THE BEDROOM" Interesting that you felt the need to "SHOUT" at me, at first i thought your caps lock must have been on.....but then i reached the last few lines and realised that the caps were indeed deliberate. OH ... I WAS NOT SHOUTING ... IF I WAS SHOUTING I WOULD OF CHANGED THE FONT TO BOLD AND AND SIZE TO 30...... I WAS AND AM MERELY BEING AFFIRMATIVE IN MY OPINION OF YOUR NEGATIVE POST AND WISHED FOR IT TO BE NOTICED. So i took at look at my original post to see if the tone was overtly aggressive and if that is what provoked your shouting, i'll always look at my own performance first. I can't see that it is agressive, no previous posters seem to have found it agressive, so i can only assume the problem lies with you. NOW ISN'T THAT INTERESTING AS YOU SEE YOUR OWN WORDS AS NON AGGRESSIVE AND IN FACT I DO AS WELL. HOWEVER PERHAPS YOU FAIL TO SEE YOUR WORDS AS ATTACKING WOMAN AND MAKING US OUT TO BE SELFISH SELF CENTERED BITCHES WHO SHOULD NOT VOICE THERE OPINIONS IN OPEN FORUMS, WHICH IS HOW I SEE THEM AS DO OTHER POSTERS ON HERE. YOU HAVE NOT ONCE THROUGH OUT YOUR RESPONSE TO ME BEEN AT ALL EMPATHETIC AS TO HOW I MAY FEEL ABOUT YOUR POST. Quoting 'inspirit' I perceive the opening post a definite attack on woman - then I see a justification for it....... Probably breaking some sisterhood rule that i've never heard of.....may get chased out of town....BUT.... WHY SAY THIS IF YOU ARE NOT EXPECTING A BACKLASH IF THIS POST IS NOT AN ATTACK ON WOMAN I did expect some backlash....not because i'm attacking women , but because i knew my opinion was not following "popular" opinion, rather like the "Elephant in the room" I FOUND IT IT AS AN ATTACK IN THE WAY IN WHICH IT WAS WORDED ..... NOT AN OPINION Why do we see so many forum posts about guys being a "dud Root" Quoting 'Insprit" YOU DO????? JUST NOT ON TUSCANS LMAO.....BECAUSE THEY ARE THOUGH... WOULD YOU LIKE SOME NAMES..... THEY MAYBE BETTER NOW THOUGH, AS I TAUGHT THEM A FEW TRICKS ALTHOUGH, THEY MAY STILL BE A DUD ROOT FOR THE NEXT VICTIM..... I could name at least two or three in the past weeks, many more in the time i've been on RHP, but no, i wasn't commenting on Tuscan's thread in this particular case. AND WHY NOT..... IT APPEARS YOU HAVE BEEN QUITE SELECTIVE..... or comments like......"he said he loved to go down for hours.....five minutes and he was done" Quoting 'Inspirit' WELL WHAT CAN WE SAY ABOUT THIS TURKEY...TALKS IT UP IN HIS PROFILE AND THEM WAMMO - HIS FULL OF SHIT.... OF COURSE I AM GOING TO TELL HIM THAT Excellent, nor was I suggesting that you don't tell him. In fact my comments on here are ALL about giving feedback to improve the interaction NO YOU WERE NOT HOWEVER YOU SUGGESTING I GIVE HIM A PARTICIPATION TROPHY OR IN THE VERY LEAST NOT BE PISSED OFF WITH HIM BECAUSE HE IS INEXPERIENCED. FEED BACK LOL..... TO AN EGOTIST?? THESE ARE THE ONES WHO DO SPEAK IN A DEROGATORY TONE ABOUT WOMAN. YES YOUR COMMENTS ARE ALL ABOUT GIVING FEEDBACK ......DID YOU ONCE CONSIDER THAT SOME PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE LIKE FEED BACK AS THEY SEE IT AS A PERSONAL ATTACK. LET'S NOT GET OFF TRACK HERE THOUGH .... COULD GO ON FOR HOURS. Would we tolerate men saying this about women??? Wouldn't we think that was disrespectful?? Damaging to our self esteem?? Quoting 'Inspirit' ARE YOU FKN SERIOUS!! WE HAVE TOLERATED SHIT OUT OF SOME MEN'S MOUTHS FOR YEARS - HOW ABOUT I GIVE THE POOR FUCKERS A "PARTICIPATION TROPHY" YOU KNOW THE ONES. SUPPOSE TO BE GREAT FOR THEIR SELF ESTEEM...... DO I FIND IT DISRESPECTFUL IF MY MATE SAYS TO ME HE HAD A STARFISH ROOT...UMM NO AS IT IS HOW HE FELT ABOUT THE ROOT NOT ME...... Actually, no, i have NOT tolerated this kind of interaction. In fact if a man was that disrespectful he wouldn't be a friend of mine I HAVE MANY MALE FRIENDS AND BEING INVOLVED IN A MALE DOMINATED WORK ENVIRONMENT PERHAPS MORE THAN THE USUAL. I HEAR COMMENTS QUITE OFTEN FORM THE BLOKES. IT DOESN'T NOT BOTHER ME AS I ALSO HAVE HEARD COMMENTS FROM MY GIRLFRIENDS ABOUT 'DUD ROOTS" .... I TREAT ALL MY FRIENDS WITH THE SAME AMOUNT OF RESPECT .. MALE OR FEMALE. THEY OWN THEIR COMMENTS AND I DO NOT BERATE THEM FOR IT. It's important to remember you can't have sex alone. It's a journey TWO people take together. IF it's not good it took TWO of you to acheive that outcome. Quoting 'Inspirit' BULLSHIT! And?? IT IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER YOU CAN HAVE SEX ALONE I BELIEVE. SEX IS NOT JUST ABOUT TWO PEOPLE. NOW LETS TALK ABOUT A MAN WHO IS FORCE FULL SHALL WE OR EVEN A WOMAN. THERE OUTCOME NOT YOURS AT THE END OF THE DAY......LETS EVEN LOOK AT THE STARFISH BE IT MALE OR FEMALE. I ONCE FUCKED A GUY WHO WAS A STARFISH..... THE OUTCOME WAS BAD FOR ME BECAUSE HE WAS A LAZY FUCKER. AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED THE OUT COME WAS HIS FAULT. HE CAME HE WAS HAPPY AND WHEN I LEFT I TOLD HIM HE WAS THE LAZIEST ROOT I HAD EVER HAD!! AND WOULD YOU BELIEVE HE WAS A SUPPOSED "EXPERIENCED SWINGER" ....THEREFORE I THINK YOUR COMMENT IS BIASED. It's about time woman owned their orgasms. Quoting 'Inspirit' THIS IS NOT AN ATTACK NOW IS IT?. I OWN MY ORGASMS AND IF I AM WITH A DUD ROOT HE GETS TO USE THE TOYS My point is simply, be involved in the process, give feedback where necessary, change what needs changing, do what you need to do in order to enjoy the experience, that may just mean masturbating...I thought i had made this point clearly, perhaps not? YOUR POINT IS MAYBE NOT AS SIMPLE AS YOU SEE IT... Never have a i heard a man say........I didn't cum, it's her fault!!! Quoting 'Inspirit' NEVER HAVE I HEARD A MAN NOT CUM. UNLESS MAYBE HE HAS HAD A DUD ROOT AND ABOUT TO TELL HIS MATES. Actually, i've heard of men not cumming, i've experienced it myself, The reasons can be physiological or pyschological. Rest assured it does happen, yes a dud root might be one of those reasons, my observation is ONLY that i've not seen any men on here decrying the fact that they didn't cum OK ...ILL RETRACT MY EARLIER RESPONSE ... YES I HAVE KNOWN MEN NOT TO CUM THE FIRST TIME...... IYEAS THERE ARE THOSE HEAD ISSUES AS WELL. I GET THAT THOUGH MAJORITY CUM. If you aren't prepared to guide, teach, discuss, support, direct or even just do it yourself. You deserve to get what you've settled for! Quoting 'Inspirit' ANOTHER ATTACK I SEE...... WHY DON'T YOU DIRECT THIS AT THE MEN WHO CAN NOT INITIATIVE AND ASK A WOMAN WHAT SHE WANTS. Again my point is, if we can't ask for filet mignon at the restaurant, don't be suprised when the waiter delivers hamburgers. DO WE ASK FOR FILET MIGNON.... YOU MIGHT THOUGH I HAVE NO EXPECTATIONS BESIDES ILL SETTLE FOR BANGERS AND MASH AND IF GET THE BELUGA CAVIAR FOLLOWED BY KOBE BEEF DRAPED IN A WHITE TRUFFLE BEARNAISE........ Ask for what you want, then together do what needs to be done to receive it. SOME TIMES YOU JUST CANT DO IT! Ladies it's time we stopped playing the victim. Quoting 'Inspirit' MEN IT IS TIME YOU LEARN'T TO READ A WOMAN'S BODY THROUGH YOUR SENSES. Might as well ask them to take up mind reading while you are at it! WHAT AN ABSOLUTE RIDICULOUS STATEMENT.....LEARN FROM A WOMAN'S RESPONSES. AS I LEARN FORM YOURS WHILST I ATTUNE MY SENSES TO YOURS. And who are the teachers going to be? CONFIDENT WOMAN WHO ARE SEXUALLY MATURE Quoting 'Inspirit" Now...in defense of my madness above I will say I understand where you may be coming from however your wording in this particular post has pissed me off a little. OK -- FALLEN FROM LIMB NOW - bring in the boots I have my big girls blouse on Any time you'd like to make some considered points rather than a diatribe i'm happy to discuss my thoughts further. Afterall there forums are about discussion of different points of view. OH DEAR AND HERE I THOUGHT I WAS CLEARLY HAVING AN OPINION WHICH IS I FOUND YOUR POST TO BE JUST THAT. AS YOU SEE WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT PERCEPTIONS...... YOU HAVE YOURS AND I HAVE MINE... I CHOSE TO CHALLENGE YOU AS TO HOW I UNDERSTOOD YOUR POST THE WAY IT WAS WRITTEN.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I wanna know! Where the fuck is my participation trophy??? :P
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RHP User
12 years ago
<-------- here - Posted from rhpmobile
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inspirit
12 years ago
kiss my (_!_) then bite my (oYo) cum on my (Y) then tell me how u want it :P
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RHP User
12 years ago
I thought i was pretty clear in my explanations that you have misunderstood both the tone and conctent of my post. We will just have to agree to disagree on this one.
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inspirit
12 years ago
...you fail to see my point. You can the box of participation trophies as it appears the dud roots will be contacting you now. Have fun i'm off the the club with the girls.
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RHP User
12 years ago
And the golden dildo award for excellence, group performance, and for the safe handling of large strapon attachments goes to Meeka *screaming crowd goes wild* Why thank you! Thank you very much. (ˆڡˆ)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'I wanna know! Where the fuck is my participation trophy??? :P it was in the cabnet at the swingers club. you got best in show
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RHP User
12 years ago
I feel sorry for the OP (and those women who agreed with her), she made a thread on what I thought was a very reasonable topic only to get shot down by women who think it is always the man's fault! Maybe they are just believing their own stories .......
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RHP User
12 years ago
I don't believe that is what women were saying at all. Both parties need to take responsibility though for an unsatisfactory encounter. I would say men are the more likely to blame the woman than the other way around. In the real world. Men blame and women internalize.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I also agree that Karyn seems to suggest that men are absolved of all blame when it comes to a dud encounter. Or that is how it reads. But as you have said Mooka men are just grateful to get their knob wet so they don't complain... Much. Therefore you are not comparing the same things.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'mooka'I feel sorry for the OP (and those women who agreed with her), she made a thread on what I thought was a very reasonable topic only to get shot down by women who think it is always the man's fault! Maybe they are just believing their own stories ....... . INSPIRIT... Thankyou for sayaing so eloquenlty what I was thinking. I agree with you. . Sometimes it is not easy to let a man know he is not that great in the sack. Sometimes telling the man is going to do more damage than good. Sometimes they may never get over it. Just sometimes it is a damn good idea to say nothing!!!
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inspirit
12 years ago
Quoting 'mooka' I feel sorry for the OP (and those women who agreed with her), she made a thread on what I thought was a very reasonable topic only to get shot down by women who think it is always the man's fault! Maybe they are just believing their own stories ....... I find your above statement a little concerning... I have always held your comments in admiration and even said hello in the chat room form time to time. This time however I find you are being perhaps a little judgmental... Yes it is a reasonable topic and could of been a great one however as you would of read I personally found it as attack on women and so did other posters it appears. This Mooka... has absolutely nothing to do with my own personal stories. Please remind me of where I personally said "it is the man's fault" .... You know as well as I do there is no wright or wrong - there is only experience with feeling and emotions which most people understand the difference. I will go on to say we have all had sex we thought was not satisfying.... as another poster wrote it is sometimes difficult to tell/educate some.....as an example only last night I met with a man I have been chatting to for over 6 months. He flew into Karratha yesterday afternoon only to surprise me..... He had a work opportunity to be here for a few days and took it. Sex was very ordinary by my standards and what we have discussed in the past did not take place. I could not tell him as he was so excited, like a kid in a candy shop. I would of crushed him no matter how I spoke to him...... you see Mooka in summary the feeling is mine and I own it.... I did have expectations which were fueled by his chat with me over 6 months. There are many scenarios out there and sometimes you can and sometimes you can not. I still find the OP's wording attacking towards woman and like i said this is from my perspective and can not for the life of see hers. Maybe Mooka you could read it from my perspective ....
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RHP User
12 years ago
I had a thought about this topic and when a man ask me to meet up today I said no He had been with a girlfriend of mine and she had been to embarased to tell him that the sex was not good. the sex was not good because he did not kiss her on the mouth he did not go down on her he did not try again after he had cum he got up out of bed , left the condom on the floor and left. This has happend a few times, the exact same thing to me last week. so its a pattern of doing something and woman not saying, hey, honey thats just not on. there are a ton of reasons why women do not speak up, and same why men do not speak up. so today I sent him a text and told him exactly what my girlfriend had told me and you know what he said Thanks for being honest with me, I thought he took it like a man so their is hope for some guys if we do tell them. maybe its harder when your in the bed, naked and your disapointed at how its progressing and you feel the guy would not really care if you said hold on a bit I need more. some women have ask and the man says, no sorry I dont kiss on the mouth, I only go down on my girlfriend, and I have to leave now as I am really on my lunch break...all of this has happened to people I know and to me. so maybe yes, lets try to slow the play, to make sure its not set up so its an easy fuck and run. Make them take the time or just dont let them go there, make sure the man goes down on you before you lips touch his cock to many men cant hold out if you suck them first. maybe there is a balance here , but its not always possible for women or men to hurt peoples feelings and lets face it were not invested in that person so if they do not do what we want, then were in a candy shop of men so its too easy to say Next! But that is not helpful to those men who have got into the habbit of pleasing only themselves. Soon they will be come that lazy selfish lover through habbit. Like women give up on finding pleasure, they just accept that bad sex is their fault I am glad to see that the post has not been closed when we got into a heated debate, makes a nice change
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RHP User
12 years ago
firstly the examples I gave were not''fun' but later I could see the funny side.The point I was trying to make is that it is all about how you see things.,your perception.Another woman may have enjoyed those encouters far more than I did. It takes me a while to process things sometimes and surely by saying ''no thank you'' to a return visit is essentially giving feedback without, as Inspirtit says, crushing someone. Why do we think that because someone is a crap lover with us,they are a crap lover with everyone.? There are so many variables here,just even in peoples preferences of physical attractiveness.Negative feedback is not necessarily going to change someone's behaviour.Like the joke says,the light bulb will change when it wants to.
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RHP User
12 years ago
You don't have to crush anyone!!! You can say I was hoping for x,y,z and it didn't happen so I don't think we are compatible. If they, man or woman, are interested in either seeing you again or want to improve their performance they will ask you for further clarification. Absolutely nothing wrong with that is there? I still find it hard to believe, even with messo's explanation, that anyone would really be happy to think they are a dud root or a selfish lover. Some people may need a little kick so they wake up to themselves and after all you don't know what you don't know. Tuscan!!!!! I think I may not have been so nice with that guy. :( I freely admit that I need to advance my cock sucking skills! Get with it Meeka!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
There is a difference between someone who is really trying and maybe even a little inexperienced to someone who appears to not care about the other person in bed with them. As someone said recently... They are just using you for a masturbatory (?) tool. They should be told that this sort of behaviour isn't acceptable. Put a bit if effort into it!!
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inspirit
12 years ago
maybe a to strong a word even so the disappointment I would see in their face and body language would make me feel like a cold hearted bitch. Sometimes you just can't. Men are very sensitive......more so than they lead us to believe. If you are going to keep seeing that person it can come up in the next encounter as you develop an understanding of how they perceive things and word your concerns accordingly. This would be how I approach it. Meeka... there are men out their that are selfish lovers..... you should here the conversations I've heard amongst blokes. They seriously don't give a fuck except to sew the oats. mind you it is always the under 30's. Clearly they have not reached sexual maturity. Freya "Why do we think that because someone is a crap lover with us,they are a crap lover with everyone.?" I don't think this at all...... My girlfriend had a fb and ditched him as she thought he was a crap lover. He turned out to be one of best I had ever had. I told him what I liked and he was keen to learn. NOPE... Tuscan I am not handing out his name :P
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's nice to read the observation that men are far more fragile than we make out; it's so true. But even so, at the end of the day, the decent ones want to know the truth, even if it hurts. And you know what? The decent ones also know - even if you don't tell them - that *something* isn't right. We might be more fragile than we admit, but we're also more perceptive than perhaps we're given credit.I can't help but think we're arguing about the ends of the spectrum, when the middle is more important. I know the extremes make for better arguments - and if you bring a bottle of wine and promise to get nude, I'll argue until the sun comes up, about anything - but the extremes aren't going to change. The dudest roots aren't here, reading and thinking about doing it better. And even if they are, they don't think any of these threads are about them!I don't think (could be wrong) that the OP is talking about telling a bloke flat out "this is shit, do it this way". I think the OP is saying women shouldn't feel, or be made to feel by men/media/history/religion/whatever, that they can't guide a misplaced hand, that they can't encourage a change of tempo, that they can't show or tell what they like, or that they can't suggest alternatives.I've been the excited puppy-dog that you mention, Inspirit. We'd built up over some weeks a sexual tension. I turned up with a million expectations - mostly of myself - and just like you'd expect, it was a bit of a debacle. Luckily, we managed to see it for what it was... just too much pressure, and both of us a bit inexperienced at the 'game'... and we went on to find our rhythm and become really great FB's. I appreciate, Inspirit, you don't necessarily have the luxury of time and repeat encounters. I also can't speak for any other man, but if, on my puppy-dog encounter, my partner had put her index finger on my lips (*hush*), and said "relax, just take it easy, you're tying yourself in knots... let's just do this for a while", I'd have been a bit shocked, but totally entranced by her and would have perhaps been able to get my old-dog back.That's not laying blame at anyone's door (well, actually, I'm accepting all responsibility for the puppy-dog), it's simply acknowledging that, regardless of who's "fault" it is, the solution can be in the hands of either party.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thanks Messo, so articulately put! Quoting 'Messolonghi' It's nice to read the observation that men are far more fragile than we make out; it's so true. But even so, at the end of the day, the decent ones want to know the truth, even if it hurts. And you know what? The decent ones also know - even if you don't tell them - that *something* isn't right. We might be more fragile than we admit, but we're also more perceptive than perhaps we're given credit. I can't help but think we're arguing about the ends of the spectrum, when the middle is more important. I know the extremes make for better arguments - and if you bring a bottle of wine and promise to get nude, I'll argue until the sun comes up, about anything - but the extremes aren't going to change. The dudest roots aren't here, reading and thinking about doing it better. And even if they are, they don't think any of these threads are about them! I don't think (could be wrong) that the OP is talking about telling a bloke flat out "this is shit, do it this way". I think the OP is saying women shouldn't feel, or be made to feel by men/media/history/religion/whatever, that they can't guide a misplaced hand, that they can't encourage a change of tempo, that they can't show or tell what they like, or that they can't suggest alternatives. I've been the excited puppy-dog that you mention, Inspirit. We'd built up over some weeks a sexual tension. I turned up with a million expectations - mostly of myself - and just like you'd expect, it was a bit of a debacle. Luckily, we managed to see it for what it was... just too much pressure, and both of us a bit inexperienced at the 'game'... and we went on to find our rhythm and become really great FB's. I appreciate, Inspirit, you don't necessarily have the luxury of time and repeat encounters. I also can't speak for any other man, but if, on my puppy-dog encounter, my partner had put her index finger on my lips (*hush*), and said "relax, just take it easy, you're tying yourself in knots... let's just do this for a while", I'd have been a bit shocked, but totally entranced by her and would have perhaps been able to get my old-dog back. That's not laying blame at anyone's door (well, actually, I'm accepting all responsibility for the puppy-dog), it's simply acknowledging that, regardless of who's "fault" it is, the solution can be in the hands of either party.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'karynb' Thanks Messo, so articulately put! Just realised that Meeka said the same thing, right above, but in 1/5th the number of words...
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have said this numerous times before. That is why I don't like randoms or even meeting people I don't know well from RHP because a lot of the time the guy has already decided that it will be a one off and because of that they don't make the effort. The situation TR describes is appalling and I am afraid all too common. It would be okay if it was good for the woman but often it's not. It's one thing if you are after a quick fuck but I still say these guys should be told that it was a shithouse effort....and if each time a women tells them that then maybe they will think about it. I am talking about guys that are using women as masturbation tools... Not genuine guys looking for a mutually enjoyable encounters.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I really loved the original post on how we are all responsible for making a sexual encounter great, and not pointing fingers when it's not. The suggestions by the OP on how to give feedback I thought were also well thought out. Yet somehow this thread has turned nasty. We gave gone from equal responsibility to some arguing about who's at fault and who's the victim. We don't all have to agree, but the use of phrases like "WHAT AN ABSOLUTE RIDICULOUS STATEMENT" and jabs such as "HOWEVER PERHAPS YOU FAIL TO SEE YOUR WORDS AS ATTACKING WOMAN AND MAKING US OUT TO BE SELFISH SELF CENTERED BITCHES WHO SHOULD NOT VOICE THERE OPINIONS IN OPEN FORUMS, WHICH IS HOW I SEE THEM AS DO OTHER POSTERS ON HERE.", are so unnecessary! Inspirit, I'm not singling out your opinions at all. I just hope you agree that comments like these are less than constructive. It's when discussions turn into spats that threads get deleted, as several on the SWB forums were in the last few weeks. On subject, I've had men that I thought that were dud roots, and because they were only for one night I didn't tell them. Was I equally responsible for the sex being bad? Hell yes. Because I went through with it, without letting on I had a problem with it. If I'm seeing someone and feel it could work, I'd definitely give some gentle feedback and ask he do the same.
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inspirit
12 years ago
It is my opinion on how I read the post. If I can not express how I feel about something then seriously I am clearly wasting my time here!! It appears you also fail to understand how I perceived the original post. That's OK as you don't have to. I don't agree with you either. I am not in here to babysit as clearly others are. I am a passionate, spirited woman who will voice her opinion if I feel a form of injustice has been done. This is my feeling and I own it, not any one else. If you feel my statement was "SO unnecessary" and I feel your words a little condescending. Then we also have a difference of opinion. ..and yes I understand you were not singling me out. The forums have turned into NANNY forums.
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RHP User
12 years ago
ladies please if I am a bad lover and dont hit the right button or tick the right ummm Box PLEASE tell me ,,,,,,,, and for the same equality IF I ever mention you are requiring a skill update then dont take offence its just how we learn most blokes ate usually the same just let us know and work out how to change or achieve mutual desire AE ,,, or have I missed the point here ???
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