F62
Manners
May 15 2015
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
Yes, that takes it to a whole other level.....comes back to how he was raised, I think simple things you have explained have become "luxury behaviour" if you like.... Have taught mine to give up the front seat for a lady, cover the costs if you invite them out, but as I said.. New level... Chivalry is alive n well in some homes...good to hear.. . How very wonderful and sexy to experience...Lucky lady.... 😃
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RHP User
10 years ago
Sounds like perfect foreplay to me 😉 I would expect some level of manners. I wouldn't expect the behaviour you received but would love it! Nothing better than a man showing you his undivided attention.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Manners are extremely attractive in anyone anywhere..but its open to interpretation I suppose..I don't require chairs being pulled out,car doors open and shut, but if a man wants to do that I shan't complain..Kindess.courtesy consideration,paying attention always float me boat 😘xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
Sounds like a wonderful evening. Manners seems to be a rarity. From first meeting someone to long term relationships I see a distinct lack of manners. It is especially annoying when I meet a couple (not always swingers) and he does not show any manners to her at all, yes they may have been together for a billion years, but that is no excuse. I am left in a quandary, as I do not want to over step my place, but if he gets up at the end of the night and she is left carrying the bags and what not, that is just wrong, and I must help out. When you step out of a door way you do not just let it swing back, you hold it open for her, or anyone. Some may say its just silly, its not like the other person is incapable of opening the door, caring the bags. They can manage a chair on their own. Yes but that does not make them feel special. That is what is all about a show of respect and attention, an ongoing thank you for allowing you into their life. Give it a try guys, be you in a long term relationship, or have just met. Be pedantic and methodical, we all know how, it does not require that much extra effort, makes you extra mindful of them, and making someone feel extra special has its own rewards.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Koko that is one of the best things I have read here and I am sure it brings a smile and gives hope to the many men like myself on here and no doubt many women as well. It sounds like he was raised knowing old fashioned values as I was. I can't really say anymore than what Freya has said but whether man or woman a door will always be held open a thank you and a smile for gratitude when shopping or just in passing. These simple gestures are what makes people feel worthwhile within the world. It is common courtesy and every person should know of this as it is the essence of being a decent human being within this united family.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Not only is it a strong sign of respect for others but a stronger sign of self respect... Treat others as you want to be treated. I say we'll done to this young man.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Koko ... I went out on a similar date last year. The car was brought around to my front door and car door was opened for me. I was asked to wait when we arrived at the restaurant as my date opened the car door and took my hand to guide me out and again opened the door at the restaurant. Chair was pulled out, etc. It wasn't something I was used to experiencing but it did make me feel special. The gentleman I was with was lovely, a great conversationalist and we enjoyed a truly memorable evening. Upon leaving the restaurant the very mature aged maître de leaned over to my date and complimented on his attention to me. He then gave my date a complimentary bottle of wine to enjoy later which we did. Men don't get praise often enough for the good things they do. It was wonderful to see it coming from another man. Good manners rock. LG
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TheLuckyOne
10 years ago
I agree with Freya. Manners are always appreciated! I don't need my chair pulled out but holding a door open is the polite thing to do (whether you are male or female) and saying Please and Thank you should just come naturally. Nobody needs to go overboard, but if courtesy and manners are nowhere to be found, it is definitely a major turn off! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
i had a first meet also, which culminated with a sleep overher manners were impeccable, until it was time to leaveshe couldn't be bothered get her sweet arse out of her bedin darkness i fumbled for light switches,found my way down the stairs to the front door. gees a coffee would be nice, what was i thinking?that something makes for the experience.
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RHP User
10 years ago
That would have been a huge turn on for me. It's also a hint of what he could be like in the bedroom and that he's not just into pleasing himself. Chewing with your mouth closed and not picking your nose in front of me also goes a long way ;)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Manners is something of a lost art. Ladies....and I have his permission....this man goes under the profile name of Cufflink. But I must add that my male friends on RHP are all gentlemen. Again, given the site has a "reputation" I have found that the friends I have made on here are all beautiful people xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
I agree Koko your date sounded wonderful. I had this discussion about manners and respect with a young couple not long ago ( flat mates). It started because I called a guy out for being disrespectful. Nowadays it's not uncommon to be chatting to someone and then nothing , no goodbye no nothing , or go on a date then nothing , no thanks no nothing. you can call me old fashioned but we have lost common courtesy , respect and manners nowadays in this cyberworld. And my younger counterparts seem to accept it in their stride , they don't like it and agree with me but are unwilling to say anything. I disagree whether the other person listens or not if they are called on their behaviour every time , then maybe one day these old fashioned manners will return to our society. And what a wonderful place it would be :)
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RHP User
10 years ago
...manners and charm so attractive...perhaps the reason I prefer older men??
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RHP User
10 years ago
Where do I find a guy like that??? I have been bought up to treat people with respect and manners always told to give my seat on public transport for someone older than me and to this day if I ever catch public transport I still do stand up for someone older than myself, but never had a younger person stand up for me. Have bought both my children to do the same and to show respect and manners to others. I guess it depends on how kids are bought up and maybe a generation thing. Manners are a very admirable and an attractive side to a persons nature. A very rare find Koko you go you lucky lady, hope I find someone like that some day even if they have a couple of manners 😀
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RHP User
10 years ago
This is so lovely to hear - I am raising a 13 year old son myself to be a considerate, beautifully mannered man as he grows. I had set up a date 2 weeks ago that stood me up and didn't even communicate with me to explain or apologise - before or afterwards. It was really disappointing - what surprised me was my son being just as disgusted with this lack of poor form and manners, but it reaffirmed to me that he has the correct values I am teaching him. Shame this grown man doesn't get it - but its very nice to hear that there are still others that don't reflect this same attitude - regardless of their age. Thanks for sharing Koko ;)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Theres never not enough time for manners. :)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Manners are: Usually found when one is brought up not dragged up. But then, the interpretation of manners and how and what should be implemented varies to many. Kudos to Cufflink for some faith restoration. Nice to see the experience for both was enjoyable.Far better than the usual "beat up" so often seen in Forum Posts :)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Happened to me @luckypenny7! No contact , no sorry no nothing !! . I did however text a thank you lol . I thanked them for the great coffee and catch up ..then deleted... Hahahaha
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RHP User
10 years ago
Do I expect manners? Frankly I demand them. And I don't mean pulling out a chair, but politeness is a must for me. I also like to watch how my date speaks to others, like a waiter for example. Rudeness is an absolute no. I think men (and women) here are the same as anywhere else, just with different interests perhaps.
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TallSensualSexy
10 years ago
And so you should!
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RHP User
10 years ago
What's that??!!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Sasha_007' I agree Koko your date sounded wonderful. I had this discussion about manners and respect with a young couple not long ago ( flat mates). It started because I called a guy out for being disrespectful. Nowadays it's not uncommon to be chatting to someone and then nothing , no goodbye no nothing , or go on a date then nothing , no thanks no nothing. you can call me old fashioned but we have lost common courtesy , respect and manners nowadays in this cyberworld. And my younger counterparts seem to accept it in their stride , they don't like it and agree with me but are unwilling to say anything. I disagree whether the other person listens or not if they are called on their behaviour every time , then maybe one day these old fashioned manners will return to our society. And what a wonderful place it would be :) I would happily show manners for any lady especially one who has self respect and is not expecting a door mat. The reality is how ever most ladies are looking for meathead and beefcakes so you can't expect a gym junky steroid muncher to have the qualities of someone who is respectful and considerate of a lady. The number of women I have meet on here and other sites who continually make the comment of no manners I ask the same thing why continue to chase the same profile as you will continue to get the same outcome. If you chase boys you need to train them in "EVERYTHING" want a man to treat you like a lady find a Man's Profile. Whats that look like, in my opinion, Profile photo is not his cock, not him half naked posing and really ladies you know in yourself what a man will say of himself is similar to what he would say and describe you! But Im also of the opinion that if he can show respect on line why would he change in person. You have every right to expect manner, respect and feel safe but you need to take responsibility early and let a male know whether you expect him to do so or not. If he doesn't agree or shows the smallest disrespect get up walk away and block delete. Cold and grumpy today but really you are all grown and very respectful lady's with a high level of exceptional intelligence and self-respect why tolerate in any for these little boys (age has no place in this dialog I know).
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RHP User
10 years ago
is something i use everyday, be it in general conversation, ordering a meal, or a drink at a bar it's not hard to say please and thank you it's the least you can do. Yet manny see to have forgotten this. Aslo a smile and thank you can brighten up a strangers day.
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
to meet a guy that doesnt wipe his cock on my curtains before he puts his pants on to go. There is a few nice guys left........
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RHP User
10 years ago
IcedDog. My my you are grumpy and such resentment towards the world. Manners in this case may have been to resist the urge to be grumpy and put everyone not like you or not liking you down. Particularly in a thread about manners. Well you have off loaded and I know it can feel good to do so. Though all the good looking fit boys, and the girls that like them may have some private thoughts that manners dictate they do not say. LOL
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TheLuckyOne
10 years ago
Good post! Hope you have warmed up now my friend and are feeling better! And as you know, not all women are looking for young, gym-fit beefcakes. 😉💋
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Hottie1
10 years ago
Do start with the parents. As a parent myself, my children (18 & 15) still say 'thank you for dinner, may I be excused' every single time we have a meal together. They also ask if they can help clear up if we are at a friends/ family for dinner. I was shocked when my son's girlfriend came over for dinner and he encouraged her to put her dirty dish in the sink. She kindly reminded him that he 'would be the bitch in their relationship' and she doesn't do that (help with dishes) Being the ever present teacher that I am, I reminded her 'that every one is a bitch in this family and it is simply good manners'. This shocked me because as you can imagine as a teacher in a small country town, who also lives in the town, my house constantly is a revolving door for teenage kids, and they have impeccable manners. I had never experienced this on a personal level before. Professionally though, as a teacher, one look at a parent and upon hearing the words that come out of their mouths, it clearly explains why some kids fail at basic manners. It all starts at home for me and is then practiced in the wider society! My motto is, 'good manners get you everywhere!' Mary xx
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donnamick
10 years ago
I have brought up my 3 boys to have manners and respect for everyone. UNFORTUNATELYOn an occasion on the train, my son 16 offered his seat to a lady ( he presumed in her 40's ). She proceeded to chide him for this act, sighting that it was demeaning to offer her his seat because she was a woman.I also had a woman abuse me for opening a door for her, again sighting that I was demeaning her because she was a woman.I am in no way blaming women as a whole here. I believe we just happened upon a couple of examples who took offence to a male being polite to a woman. I hold doors for the old, young, women and men alike. In fact, before this I had never considered that this simple polite act could be taken as a negative thing.Hasn't stopped me or my son from being decent polite human beings.Manners Rock.Cheers Mr donnamick
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RHP User
10 years ago
I agree with this bit: "The number of women I have meet on here and other sites who continually make the comment of no manners I ask the same thing why continue to chase the same profile as you will continue to get the same outcome." If seen this heaps of times here. If you want different behaviour, don't keep picking the same guy.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Feminism had a negative impact on old fashioned manners. Us ladies love to be independent but getting cranky when someone pulls your chair out for you because you can do it hasn't done us any favours. I don't expect chivalrous behaviour - but when it happens it makes me feel special. And in return I will make you feel special. Isn't that what it's about at the end of the day? And Any_Whichway - LMAO! I hope you send the dry cleaning bill?
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RHP User
10 years ago
I think you are confusing manners with gallantry. The definition of that according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary is "polite attention or respect given by men to women". And there lies the issue for feminists. If pulling out a chair or holding a door for women is merely good manners, then I think you would do it for men too, no?
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
Manners are frequently subjective.... based on culture, environment, context and experiences. Manners to me, means an attitude of practiced consideration for other people. It may be offering the last tic tac, or leaving the toilet seat up/down..... it may be the standard please & thank you.... or ensuring others know you are grateful for what they've done for you. It is ignoring distractions (phones!!!!) and holding eye contact eye when talking to someone, its accepting that other peoples time, views, opinions and their to-do list is equally important to them, as your own is to you. A lot of people "use" a deliberate display of manners to coerce a favourable opinion form the person they seek to impress, and likely gain something from. That isn't manners... its a covert agenda of manipulation. DG
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RHP User
10 years ago
Although I wouldn't pull a chair out for a lady - only because I haven't thought about it before. And I wouldn't lay my coat over a puddle so her shoes don't get wet 😉 Oh and I don't leave to toilet seat up haha! I think courteous behaviour should be expected - no matter what creature lives between your legs.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I help with the chair, doors, carrying for all members of my family and close friends irrespective of gender. There is also the consideration of age and capability. Manners is to always help the disabled, or those less able. Such behaviour is not gender specific. To give a seat on the train seems to be a lost trait, I remember doing it for adults likely younger than me now when I was 13, now I am 47 and still doing it while the younger generation stare blankly into space. Unless you are having a heart attack you must give a seat to pregnant women or someone carrying an infant, even if you are 99. I am still fit and capable and even when the train or bus is full of school kids and young adults it seems it is us oldies that have the roll of offering the seat. In my view a good thing as the thank you is nice to get, with luck I will still be doing it at 99 and as i am selfish at 99 the reward is greater. These things should come naturally and most now just are unaware. I do not think it is willful apathy, just the slow change of cultural standards. Chivalry and gallantry, still alive today, acts in my view that are as well not gendered. Same sex lovers still have room for such behavior with the role being more dependent on circumstance, such as first to the door holds it open, first to the table pulls the seat. But it also works for mates/friends. How people behave in regard to their willingness to lend a hand to others tells a lot about their character. There was mention of manners being used as covert manipulation. This is a rather cynical and distrustful attitude. All acts of manners are acts for personal gain, their is nothing covert about it. Is not the point of manners to curry favour, good manners holds no indebted obligation or expectation yet it has personal reward.. The thank yous, smiles and the fact that you are held in slightly higher regard, just to be noticed, or personal satisfaction, all self satiating rewards. We are not invisible entities offering random help, we are real people that seek happiness, we give and we take.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I agree with old fashioned dte meet and greet. That's how it starts and it's very sexy that way. Good conversation and interest in the other is a must. Being comfortable with the other person is indeed important. RHP may have an expectation for some, but for many especially who I have chatted with are respectful honest and dte. The people I want to meet.
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' There was mention of manners being used as covert manipulation. This is a rather cynical and distrustful attitude. All acts of manners are acts for personal gain, their is nothing covert about it. Is not the point of manners to curry favour, good manners holds no indebted obligation or expectation yet it has personal reward.. The thank yous, smiles and the fact that you are held in slightly higher regard, just to be noticed, or personal satisfaction, all self satiating rewards. We are not invisible entities offering random help, we are real people that seek happiness, we give and we take. Ahhhh, yes.... that would have been me. Thank you for noticing... You are though.... contradicting yourself.... and actually agreeing with me. Manners are personality expressed through thoughtfulness and self respect. Its obvious that I was referring to very specific and deliberate "use" of manners..... a display as a means to acheive an end with another person, which is an exhibition of a different personality trait - manipulation. For example..... the opening of a door to curry favour with a woman, when the individual would not open a door for others he wasn't seeking to impress to gain something from. You open a door for only yourselfYou open a door for others as a general act of courtesy,....oryou only open a door for a woman you are trying to impress. Should manners be that selective, inconsistent and targeted towards a deliberate purpose? I say no.... because THAT would be cynical. And your references to ... "these things should come naturally" and a"willingness to lend a hand to others"..... ....tells me that you don't think manners should be so contrived or inconsistent either. DG
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RHP User
10 years ago
Up in their own heads these days. Most people run on stress and instead of living in the moment they are concentrating on what has to be done next. I'm a sucker for my mobile phone. But it's made us available 24/7. And Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc mean that we want to know what others are doing at every moment in the day. Or people want to post what they are doing/not doing/eating etc. it's information overload! Courteous behaviour/manners etc are a sign that someone is in the moment/paying attention. And it's nice to experience it whether it's from a stranger or a partner.
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RHP User
10 years ago
... can't really be achieved should there not be a willing participant on some level. Wether it's a conscious awareness or not, there is generally a want, need or desire of some sort being met by the so called manipulator which generally becomes apparent in hindsight - well at least that's what I've noticed.
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Baysidecouple214
10 years ago
Manners aka Chivalry... I don't believe based on how you are raised, it is based on a choice. Why? Because you could be raised by "bad parents" (how you want to classify bad parents isn't important). You have a choice to be a different person OR use it as an excuse as to why things are the way they are. Thus replicating the behavior. Paradoxically you could have great parents, but personal negative experiences, which directly affect the Great choices, that would have been expected by this person.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I was raised by my grandmother and aunties for the first 10 or so years of my life as my parents worked 3 or 4 jobs between them during that time. I learnt a lot about manners and generally treating others well and as you would want them to treat you. By the time I became a teenager standing for women and the elderly on public transport was habit, as was holding the door open for those with and following me. Paying for tickets, meals etc was the norm, if I couldn't afford to pay for the outing I wouldn't arrange it. One day everything changed, all of a sudden women insisted on going "Dutch", driving their own car to the venue, pulling their own chair out and one woman went as far as to say she found my behaviour to be outdated and bordering on controlling/chauvinistic and controlling. I still show the same manners and traits and I refuse to yield on the habits taught to me by the women who influenced my formulative years however, more and more I feel there are less women deserving of this consideration. Take this site for example. When I message a lady here it is always polite, an introduction of myself and always to ladies who share interests etc. The number who don't have the manners to reply is staggering and the number of abrupt ungrateful replies very disappointing. I don't know when or why it changed but etiquette and manners and the appreciation of both is dying. I suppose it will become trendy again some day. - Posted from rhpmobile
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aldus1
10 years ago
I have always been brought up to believe that manners are the best freebie one will ever get in life, they cost nothing :-)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Manners cost nothing I'm amazed how many people don't use them. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
My primary school motto was 'Manners Maketh The Man'. I agree. I would add 'and Woman' as well tho'.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I like to take things in the spirit they were intended, so most of the time I will appreciate a well-meant gesture. Personally I will always reply to a nice message with a respectful response. However I draw the line at being grateful. Should I really be thankful that a perfect stranger thinks I'm worthy of his attention? Yes, I'm on here to meet men, but I were to go to a bar on Saturday night by myself, should I be grateful for the fact guys try to chat me up too?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Perhaps I should have said discourteous replies. I'm not sure why you've taken it personally but so be it, I'm well beyond worrying about my comments ruffling feathers on the forums however, I'm sure I'm not the only paying male on here that's tired of a great portion of the non paying female fraternity treating nice guys with more than a little contempt just because they can. I also see a bit of the same contempt for nice guys at bars, clubs and in general. It's a shame that when a woman is welcoming of gentlemanly behaviour, manners and instinctive good behaviour and not suspicious or cynical it's a welcome relief to men instead of the norm. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Women's lib has an awful lot to answer for doesn't it. I might believe in equality but still expect respect and good manners from others, male and female.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Just wanted to speak up as I've heard the word grateful mentioned so many times here. And I'm always happy to be a welcome relief. ;-)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Manners maketh the man, that is how I was taught, like fine feather don't make a fine bird, you can dress it up in all sorts of guises but alas the lack of manners simply stands out. Why would a gentleman who took the trouble to ask a lady out then ruin the night by forgetting his manners? manners is not only and essential part of life and ones interactions with those around you but a sign not only of education but self respect too. I shudder when I am out and I see a lady who has got all prettied up so as to look her best for a lucky man and then I see him dressed in jeans and a tee shirt and joggers, this is not manners this is just don't give a shit attitude. it is a breath of fresh air to read the comments on this post, well done to the lad who swept Koko off her feet with manners, after all she deserves to be treated like a lady because she is just that. also remember the manners exhibited by a lady is also a huge delight, alas there a lot of women and men who just don't know how to be polite and gentlemanly or ladylike or just don't give a shit. one should not even have to think of being polite or to show manners it should be second nature and just happen, long live the noble art of chivalry
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RHP User
10 years ago
.... Koko ..... sounded like a wonderful night with someone charmingly attentive ...... and your company was fitting reward. We seem to be in agreement that we enjoy and like to see and receive grace of good manners ... the car door ... the restaurant chair, appropriate language ... and compliments ? ..... ie great shoes ... Annie ... Meander .... can I also add ... manners are best received when appropriate ...... once upon a time kissing the hand ..... bowing and curtsying was all the rage .... or European kissing welcome ... tends not work so well at your average BBQ meat and greet.... so sincerity counts ... manners are evolving social customs .... old ones are fun ... but not for every instance
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RHP User
10 years ago
....avoid Mr Outdoors like the plague. It always amuses me when men accuse women of "taking personally" any comment which they (the women) want clarified or with which they disagree. I'm with Meander - I don't think gratitude is in order. There are a lot of smart women on here Mr Outdoors, and it's not their first time at the rodeo. Many are very adept at seeing through a seemingly polite critique which manages to make such sweeping generalisations about the "non paying" women on here and how they treat the "paying" men. I get a very strong sense of entitlement from your comment and quite frankly it's very unattractive. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Damn that Women's Lib,I personally blame it for all the ungrateful sexually liberated women on this site..😱😱😱xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
Thank you.....and I know you have manners after meeting you for lunch. I saw that very thing one evening in a restaurant,,,,lovely looking girl all dressed up coming in with a guy wearing a tee, shorts and .......thongs! It was a hot summers night, but it just looked as if he couldnt be bothered making the effort.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Freya79' Damn that Women's Lib, This feminism thing has just got totally out of hand! I mean, we already know that feminism is responsible for climate change, the budget deficit, world hunger, ebola, and the declining efficacy of antibiotics!! Not to mention men having to put up with smart-mouthed, non subscription-paying women who don't automatically show gratitude when a man expresses interest in sticking their dick in them!! Something needs to be done I tell you...
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RHP User
10 years ago
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RHP User
10 years ago
I don't think think we'll ever solve the debate whether women are ungrateful and men entitled, this issue has been argued over since I've been here. It would be nice if we all actually heard the reasoning behind why we all say what we say and act how we act, and recognise that sometimes it's merely the choice of words that makes the difference. Chivalrous men may act like that because they feel that women are the weaker sex, or sensitive and fragile creatures that needed to be cared for. But they could also be gallant because they were raised this way, and/ or feel it's just a nice thing to do without any agenda or preconceived notions about the female sex. Woman averse to this behaviour could think this way because they feel that the men who pull out chairs or guide them across the street (with the often disliked hand on their lower back) are demeaning or belittling them in some way and not treating them as equals. Some men may see women with strong opinions and dislike of their chivalry as jaded banshees who can't recognise manners if they hit them in the face.They may fail to see that certain behaviours can cause a negative response based upon what women have seen around them and/or learned themselves and may feel treated like the weaker sex because of it. I think it's very important to find out why people react the way they do, rather than just judge them for their outward behaviour. We'd all get on a lot better if we did. My 2cts. (Yes, mine. I like to pay my own way.)
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RHP User
10 years ago
A feminist is any human who believes in equal rights for both (all) sexes. Full stop. Women who demand to be treated as equals to men but then for example get annoyed when a guy doesn't pay the bill, are not feminists but entitled brats in my opinion. Big difference, and it's women like this who give others a warped and bad idea of what feminism actually is. Anyone see the pic online of a man and woman walking on a footpath, with the woman closest to the street? It caused a serious uproar from men and women alike, arguing that guy should have insisted they swap sides to protect her.
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Anyone see the pic online of a man and woman walking on a footpath, with the woman closest to the street? It caused a serious uproar from men and women alike, arguing that guy should have insisted they swap sides to protect her. I read that article and thought....... thats the bigg issue facing us? A brief moment in time where a woman was on street side, no idea about the moments before and after.... and what mindset the photo taker had at the time? Thinking too much.... about unimportant stuff. That said... I DO walk streetside, especially with my daughter...... call it my strong paternal protective instinct. DG
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'GreenEyes3550' ....avoid Mr Outdoors like the plague. It always amuses me when men accuse women of "taking personally" any comment which they (the women) want clarified or with which they disagree. I'm with Meander - I don't think gratitude is in order. There are a lot of smart women on here Mr Outdoors, and it's not their first time at the rodeo. Many are very adept at seeing through a seemingly polite critique which manages to make such sweeping generalisations about the "non paying" women on here and how they treat the "paying" men. I get a very strong sense of entitlement from your comment and quite frankly it's very unattractive. - Posted from rhpmobile Don't sweat it sweetheart I don't go for the type who's profile reads as long as a war and peace novel and you finding me attractive or not is of zero consequence in my world. I make my comments based on my experience and the experiences I've read in the comments of other men that use this site. I've never had a sense of entitlement in my life, I've worked hard for everything I have and expect no return for zero or substandard effort in any area of my life. I'll certainly make no apologies to you or the forum clique for my comments, attitudes and views expressed. I say what I mean and mean what I say. I seek neither your approval or acceptance and certainly won't cower to the subtle bullying some of you ladies like to do on the forum. (Enter the knights on horses to the defense of all)
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RHP User
10 years ago
There are manners and there is chivalry, which are two different things (I'm talking about the modern meaning of chivalry and not the original reference to the conduct of knights and all that jazz). I don't need (or particularly want) a man to be chivalrous, but I do want to see him exhibit manners and respect...not just to me and other women but to all other human beings.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Luck_Dragon, I like to think I'm a well mannered guy and as said here I believe people appreciate it, even young ladies that may not be used to it so much as the younger generation seem to think more of themselves, but I also believe there is a place for chivalry. I would have no hesitation to change a tyre, help lift something heavy etc. :)Just saying.......
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RHP User
10 years ago
But would you offer to do the same for a man?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'WomanWhisperer' Luck_Dragon, I like to think I'm a well mannered guy and as said here I believe people appreciate it, even young ladies that may not be used to it so much as the younger generation seem to think more of themselves, but I also believe there is a place for chivalry. I would have no hesitation to change a tyre, help lift something heavy etc. :)Just saying....... But would you be offering that sort of assistance to a man as well if he needed it? Or would you automatically assume that a woman would need assistance with those things and a man wouldn't? That's what my definition of manners vs chivalry is based on... if a man is only ever offering to help women then that's where it becomes problematic for me and starts to cross the line into... well I won't mention the word . And I'm not just referring to the long history of how women have been traditionally viewed, which is much of the basis of chivalry...I'm also talking about our assumptions about men and how they should be and act. I will happily and gratefully accept assistance when I need it, from a man or woman, but I'm just not a fan of 'chivalrous' acts such as the man always walking street side, or having chairs pulled out for me. My reasons for that are not because I'm mostly thinking of myself either, I should point out. If a man did do those things when with me I certainly wouldn't make a fuss or insult him, but if we were going to spending longer amounts of time together then I would talk to him about it and explain that those sorts of actions do make me feel uncomfortable.
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RHP User
10 years ago
He sounds like a complete gentleman and deserves nothing less than discretion on your part. Publishing his profile name was hopefully done with his full permission.
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RHP User
10 years ago
If you had any reason to doubt her1DarkBull, which I'm not sure why you would, but you could always check the people who liked Koko's OP, as well as the specific post that listed his name in it.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' But would you offer to do the same for a man? If that man appeared to be having trouble coping, yes why not, there's plenty men that can't do things for various reasons. Its just human nature to help if you can
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'WomanWhisperer'If that man appeared to be having trouble coping, yes why not So what if the woman appeared to be coping fine?
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'm pretty much your height.
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RHP User
10 years ago
All women are deserving of respect, however a tiny few deserve what they get ........? thoughts?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Want_This_MMM Everyone is deserving of respect not just women. Our society runs on the underlying philosophy that no matter what you have done you deserve the respect represented by basic human rights. Nobody deserves suffering, if that is your implication, for once you find reason in one case the next is easier. That is a dark path you would not want to be on.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Yes I did have his permission, actually, I told him about the post and said I hadnt mentioned his name and he said he didnt mind if I did? I wouldnt name anyone in a post without their permission, dont you know its bad manners?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' I'm pretty much your height. Quoting 'Meander' Quoting 'WomanWhisperer'If that man appeared to be having trouble coping, yes why not So what if the woman appeared to be coping fine? I think common sense and her body language would then determine whether I still asked or left her to do whatever she was doing....... Some women might feel uneasy with a random asking if he can help, others are welcoming.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' I'm pretty much your height. Quoting 'Meander' I'm pretty much your height. Yes I see you Meander........just much more attractive
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'WomanWhisperer' Quoting 'Meander' I'm pretty much your height. Quoting 'Meander' Quoting 'WomanWhisperer'If that man appeared to be having trouble coping, yes why not So what if the woman appeared to be coping fine? I think common sense and her body language would then determine whether I still asked or left her to do whatever she was doing....... Some women might feel uneasy with a random asking if he can help, others are welcoming. I think in the world we live in today, most women usually would just lock themselves in their car and call racq, boyf or husbands for help. There is no need for any male to render there assistance, unless of course she required assistance urgently.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I too had the pleasure of having dinner with a younger man. Our first TWO dates did not go further than kissing. ..it was the best foreplay ever..when we did do it I was not left disappointed. He was always polite and we are still the best of friends. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I didn't find your post grumpy or any more resentful than any of the others posted. I thought it was fairly mild actually - bordering on being firm (& fair)yet concise. But then i am a very direct person , & like to be treated thus. It keeps things simple. :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Your Quote "Take this site for example. When I message a lady here it is always polite, an introduction of myself and always to ladies who share interests etc. The number who don't have the manners to reply is staggering and the number of abrupt ungrateful replies very disappointing. " I was brought up to have impeccable manners & I still maintain a very high standard for myself (& others too). I have however, relinquished that standard (only for others -not myself), on sites such as RHP & similar Cyber/dating sites. Each of has the right to remain as distant as we choose. I certainly dont feel that I am "entitled" to a reply from anyone here, any more than I feel an obligation to service other's insecurity by replying to every single message or flirt I receive. That is unrealistic & smacks of insecurity. That's not to say it wouldnt be nice, of course it would. But seriously, if we "expect" that kind of constant, personal attention from a sex/dating site , which by it's very nature operates to a high degree of anonymity, then Im not surprised some of us are feeling put out. As Iceddog, said earlier, we're all adults here & getting all bent-out-of shape/ wounded or dropping my lip because complete & utter strangers - all of whom owe me zero, didnt respond to me with gushing gratitude, is in MY opinion immature & quite self-centred. Harsh I know, but that is a reality of Cyber dating/Sex. We can always choose to leave the Site if upsets us that much. If I became insulted at every non response Ive had - Id be crippled. We may not be able to change the behaviour of others but we CAN change our perception & response to that behaviour; we just have to move on. Life doesnt owe us anything is the reality. My desire to reply to contacts really depends on the guys' approach & whether he has read my profile or not. And if he has, whether he appears to respects my interests. Here are just a couple of examples...... Im not interested in Smokers or attached guys but the number who attempt to get my attention -hoping for quickies etc is staggering. They obviously haven't taken a moment to read my profile (which I will have put time & effort into), or they ignore the information, or they just plain, hope I wont notice. Otherwise I try to be polite & reply, even if I dont feel like it,...occasionally I don't. Im sorry but that is my choice & if I respect your choices then is it too much to ask that mine are afforded the same respect without some sort of morality attached?! Cheers :) KK - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I set a standard by my own manners. People can do what they want or not do it doesn't bother me at all. Personally I'm grateful when anyone takes the time to contact me and my personal choice is to respond each time as I believe it's polite to do so. Maybe I just hold myself to a higher standard. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I personally avoid gallantry towards women I don't know with the exception of women with children who seem to be having some form of difficulty. It takes a village after all. I also know a few no-gallantry-for-me-thankyou-very-much-I-am-a-strong-independant-woman-and-I-can-hold-my-own types (who I love) that throw all of that out the window the second there is a spider in bath. Or even a cricket rofl. Any gallantry I show is an acknowledgement that women are biologically more valuable to society and I happily put myself in harms way of a vicious cricket attack because I am expendable and I gain a lot from knowing there is still a place for me as a man (not just another person) in our society.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Most people in my social circle will go out of their way to help others and step up when more capable of dealing with something than the person dealing with it. It's not gallantry IMO it's just being a good human. "Mary has painters coming on Monday lets go to her house on Sunday and move the heavy furniture away from the walls." It's just what you do. "Oh look that guy is harassing that person in the next carriage, might just go tell him to stfu and move seats." It's just what you do. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I don't agree that women are biologically more valuable to society. Do you mean by having babies? Personally I think the world could do with less people, not more. That aside, you should really move to Sydney. ;-)
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RHP User
10 years ago
You open up a can of worms there Meander. I don't want to take this thread OT and I mostly agree with you. You could always move to Perth, there are less people here and I would show you around ;)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Happy to pick up the cockroach,move the spider,leave the ants alone,don't kill the mosquito and they leave me alone..there are grown men I know who are scared of spiders,it's in their genes apparently xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
Spider, what in my jeans... arrhhhhhh....take them off..... quick.. get them off me, rip them off I don't care ... LOL One day that will work.... But. I love the little guys with their creepy 8 busy legs, all seeing freakish eyes. Shudder inducing ways. Eeech... YET PleaseTo inform people that the sprays we use to kill them is a nerve toxin that disrupts the firing of their tiny little nerves. The result is a form of convulsive over expression of normal signals, the fatal dose is so low that it can takes days to kill. Much of the damage is the result of physical disruption of organs due to spasms, akin to the nerve toxins used on humans that induce convulsion that shatter teeth, rip tendons, and break bones. I dont know if they feel pain, but with the benefit of doubt and having watched one die. Never will I spray again. Please don't kill with spray, be kind when you kill, don't be a monster, stomp or splat, never spray. PS the sprays do not affect human nerves. They are totally safe for us and as far as i know, all invertebrates (bones on the inside).
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Freya79' Happy to pick up the cockroach,move the spider,leave the ants alone,don't kill the mosquito and they leave me alone..there are grown men I know who are scared of spiders,it's in their genes apparently xxFreya But what about a snake that slithers along your bedroom floor? Is that when you jump onto the bed and scream out Bonnie tyler lyrics,"I need a heroI'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the nightHe's gotta be strongAnd he's gotta be fastAnd he's gotta be fresh from the fightI need a heroI'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning lightHe's gotta be sureAnd it's gotta be soonAnd he's gotta be larger than life"
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RHP User
10 years ago
All the snakes in my bedroom have impeccable manners and don't require me to evict them😜xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
Personally I find it a real travesty that someone showing what I consider to be basic manners is seen as a rare commodity. Respect to the guy who displayed this, gives me hope that there are guys out there like me. Good stuff
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Seachange
10 years ago
are very important to me. It is a good indicator for me on how he will treat me in the bedroom and increases the chance of making a connection with a person, regardless of age. Different from gallantry, which I also appreciate. I open the doors for people regardless of age or gender, or I wil hold it open for them if I see them coming up to me. a few seconds of kindness, a smile and eye contact with some stranger or anybody can make their day. I give up my seat in the trams or buses or trains to people who are in need, without prompting. I know that a seat would be appreciated more by a heavily pregnant woman, woman with small child, elderly person or disabled, than I. I am strong and able bodied. No skin off my nose. I certainly appreciated the kindness when I was heavily pregnant while travelling in public transport. I had dinner/drinks with a young man this week, in his 20s and he was so articulate, gentlemanly and very well mannered, i was very impressed. He brought me flowers as well. How nice is that and how thoughtful. He didnt pull out chairs or anything so formal (which can be nice, all is contextual) but I can see how he respected my boundaries and it made him more attractive to me.. very attractive. To some degree, he displayed more manners than more than half the men Ihave met here, who were are in their 30s and 40s. It was so refreshing. Thoroughly enjoyed his company.
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Way2go70
10 years ago
Good manners are an unconscious action, they should be ingrained not forced. I don't care what your intentions, expectations, realisations or desires are on here or anywhere else there is no excuse for bad manners or disrespect, be that to male or female. There are some very basic morals and values that underpin the fabric of our society and in my opinion manners is one of those core values. The OP knows me well enough to know that I abhor bad behaviour and extol good manners, chivalry, respect, understanding and empathy. It doesn't take a whole lot of effort to be like that and quite honestly what you will receive in return will be worth 10 fold. Perhaps I have missed out on 'action' in my life because I wasn't that rough talking, bad mannered, disrespectful 'bad boy' but then I doubt that I would have ever met some of the most amazing and wonderful people that I now call friends. I wouldn't change the way I am for anyone. :)
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Missb4u
10 years ago
When I first joined RHP it was all about sex. hard, fast and lots of it. I didn't care about much else except getting off. These days I am more inclined to look for someone with some manners, and some knowledge of how to treat people and I'm no longer interested in being just three holes for someones entertainment.
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chevtrek
10 years ago
So far they prefer to do it themselves.However they still prefer the door opened for them.I even met women who don't care if the toilet seat is up and theseare women I like as it shows there not lazy.After all I have to lift it up and they can put it down. LMAO
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RHP User
10 years ago
Good manners are classy. I love meeting women with great manners - it sets the tone for the evening. It makes me want to ensure they are utterly appreciated. D
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RHP User
10 years ago
I do hope you are going to run that course for men soon.you know the one Chev's Course for the Dateless,Desperate and Charmless Over Fiftties ...or How to Pick Up Young Chicks Without Really Trying..oops I meant Modern Young Women..now chaps please form an orderly queue,remember your manners 😘xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'chevtrek' I even met women who don't care if the toilet seat is up and theseare women I like as it shows there not lazy.After all I have to lift it up and they can put it down. LMAO I agree! It's never bothered me and I think it's only fair that if he has to put it up, I can put it down. (No, not being sarcastic.)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Each to their own. I can put the toilet seat down too .... but really I'd prefer not to look at the underside of a toilet seat before I take a phew. LG
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Seachange
10 years ago
Just a question. Curious about these young wenches you have met who dont complain about the toilet seat up When was the last time you did a punani chev check on them? :-p. I didnt know that putting the toilet seat down is a prerequisite to the modern women's club. If that is so, the local nursing home is briming with 100yo modern women afflicted with dementia who dont mind the seat up. Too bad they also forget tp put their panties on. But I may be wrong and you may.have a valid point. What do i know about being a modern woman eh? Nada. your cadettes are highly evolved female species of the third kind. Beware of their probing skills.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'SoftandCurious' Sounds like perfect foreplay to me 😉 I would expect some level of manners. I wouldn't expect the behaviour you received but would love it! Nothing better than a man showing you his undivided attention. Hi "Soft..." I have no beef at all with 'younger' men or the way in which many conduct themselves. However, I have heard from far too many ladies that it IS really a rare set of 'pleasantries' that a lady receives these small (but meaningful and respectful) considerations.It's possible that some ladies may feel that it's meaning or intention is to 'imply' that she is 'helpless' or in some way 'incapable' of doing these things for themselves. But the truth of it is, especially among men who were raised to believe that these were signs of respect, admiration and plain kindness and consideration... Nothing else and certainly NOT for any other purpose.(The following is not intended for you or anyone else, in particular).It may (hopefully) cause some ladies to consider that men who come from a prior generation are more than just 'dirty old men' looking for a bit. There ARE plenty of them, but some are, in fact, gentle, kind and genuine. We're not all falling apart at the seams, and some of us actually have bodies that have been well looked after and are quite comparable to you average 30 yo.The game of 'Love and Sex' begins the moment the two meet and every single move and every single word is part of a process that can be extremely sensual and sexy from the very first moment...
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RHP User
10 years ago
I had dinner/drinks with a young man this week, in his 20s and he was so articulate, gentlemanly and very well mannered, i was very impressed. He brought me flowers as well. How nice is that and how thoughtful. He didnt pull out chairs or anything so formal (which can be nice, all is contextual) but I can see how he respected my boundaries and it made him more attractive to me.. very attractive. To some degree, he displayed more manners than more than half the men Ihave met here, who were are in their 30s and 40s. It was so refreshing. Thoroughly enjoyed his company. Quoting 'lilyorchid' I had dinner/drinks with a young man this week, in his 20s and he was so articulate, gentlemanly and very well mannered, i was very impressed. He brought me flowers as well. How nice is that and how thoughtful. He didnt pull out chairs or anything so formal (which can be nice, all is contextual) but I can see how he respected my boundaries and it made him more attractive to me.. very attractive. . It was so refreshing. Thoroughly enjoyed his company. Hi again, "Lily...". I'm happy to hear that you experienced such a thoughtful and obviously respectful man. It's sad that I see a little surprise in your post. The fact that this impressed you and experienced a chorus of 'pleasnatries "made him 'very much more attractive' to you", when this should simply be the norm and "expected" by any 'Lady' from any "Gentleman"... You, yourself show your surprise and appreciation by adding that - "To some degree, he displayed more manners than more than half the men I have met here, who were are in their 30s and 40s" - Clearlly, you didn't expect it and were impressed...
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RHP User
10 years ago
Has got nothing to do with manners..I take my life in my hands every time I go to the supermarket ..between dodging scooters and trolley rage...I need to seek refuge in aisle four..at least I think that's the number where I found the man with his bananas pointing up...so well mannered ..he offered to share his banana with me 😜xxFreya Coles
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Seachange
10 years ago
Veganman, you look wonderful.. that is all.. waves from Victoria... fyi... Waving not drowning....
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RHP User
10 years ago
manners are rare and when you receive them or experience them its a nice feeling indeed....its a shame a lot more ppl don't show them to be honest......we all human all have a right to be treated nicely
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