F38
Married Men.... No go zone???
January 12 2012
Comments
-
RHP User
13 years ago
My views on this have changed just a little in the past year or so. Prior to joining RHP I would have said there is no way I would see a married guy. What is the point after all, and if they are cheating on their partner, well I don't want to know them really. Now after almost 2 years of the forums, I realise that there are lots of people in marriages where their needs are not being met for all sorts of reasons. So, I do feel for these guys, but in general I am still not really interested in seeing them. The forum has also opened my eyes to different types of relationships that are out there, so now my view point is, if a man has an agreement with their wife that they can play away from home on occasion (& yes I am sure they all say that) or if the couple are into swinging then yes I might see a married guy here and there. But he has to be HAWT, fun, cute and really really naughty!! xx Meeka
-
Vintagetatu
13 years ago
Everyone is different and each have their own morals and opinions about it. Personally I say go with your instinct and stick to your morals.The most important person who will judge you for your actions will be you.CheersVTx
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I think if you're cool with someone else running of with your man after you've spent years having children and making a family together then go for it. But it's not as black and white as that is it. A lot of married guys have given up on their marriages but want to keep their families. If you can do it without falling in love so you spend your life getting sloppy seconds (he will NEVER leave his wife while his kids are young for you, no matter what he says, no matter how in love with you he pretends to be)....then go for it. I'm not being sarcastic here, if you want the guy just for fun and will never want him permanently and he's smart enough to protect his family from ever knowing about you then that is your choice to make sweet. If you will be wanting a relationship at some point it's probably just less hassle to find a single guy. You're cute, hot and young. You can have who ever you want. xx gg
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Sorry honey, i wasn't being clear. By sloppy seconds i mean that IF he is still shagging the mrs you get the leftovers, you are physically sharing him with her. If that turns you on then great. He will never be like a single guy who can just drop everything and go out. He will very rarely if ever be able to stay over. You will be at arms length. No holidays together. No christmas together. Won't be able to spend a lot of money on you because he has to keep all the money for the mrs and kids and needs to keep the money trail invisable. Single guy if you want a relationship is just sooooo much easier. xx gg
-
Insomnian
13 years ago
Simplest things really, even though moral conflicts may come in to play, I look at them like this. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. I think it's something you'd have to sit down and talk with him over, then at the end of the day, if you can handle knowing you are '' the other woman'' whether his wife knows about you or not, that has to be your call despite however much incite everyone else here may give you.As far as dry spells go.... If this is the only reason you are considering going back into this sort of friendship with this person, I'd say hold out until you find someone that's not obtained so much baggage. Even though that's never as easy as it's written.Good luck in whatever decision you come to.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I have no difficulty with a couple of married guys helping each other out every now and again. The situation you've described however is, in my opinion, pretty insidious. It can only lead to trouble and that's because you are both already quite attached, emotionally, through your earlier interactions. You'll be like a couple of naughty school children... and the fact is, you have to be prepared to get caught, which, no doubt, you will. Does your other half know you? I mean it's hardly discrete in those circumstances and that will likely hurt so much more, because of the humiliation factor. There's no way I'd put myself in that situation. It's no random, one off slip... It's a fully deceitful plan with an old flame! Struth. Do what feels right for you. Hugs Stalky studnuts
-
RHP User
13 years ago
For me personally? Long term, married or attached guys are ok, as long as the "wifey" knows about it.Who the hell needs at irate partner turning up? Been on the receiving end of this & its not nice. Guys are not always that smart enough to cover their tracks.:(I'm guessing... if they have only been married a yr then she knows nothing. :( Can only end up badly Honey. xxxx
-
RHP User
13 years ago
"does your other half know you?" .... bwahahaha. That's a rhetorical question! What about this... "does his other half know you?".... that's what I meant. Hugs Sta
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Thanks Sta.
-
xFunlovingx
13 years ago
Has this to do with your self esteem? Do you feel undesirable since you have had your child and therefore feel that he will accept you lumps and stretch marks and all? Are you thinking with your pussy as you haven't had sex since the birth of your child or even pregnancy? . Think about how you will feel AFTER the fact of having sex with him! How will you feel about yourself that he is going to go home to his wife and child straight after? I am not against affairs in any way shape or form...so don't read this as negative...just openly and be honest with yourself! I myself don't think that you are enjoying the "sexting" and that he is making you feel desirable....but you already know how bad you will feel if you did have sex with him! . Meet a random from here in a park somewhere and get your rocks off...send the random home, while you feel great from the orgasm! xFunlovingx
-
RHP User
13 years ago
unless playing with a couple, or with face to face " go for it" from the wife.I am a firm believer in Karma, and like to live my life treating others how I like to be treated. Unhappy and married, leave...end of story for me, family or not.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
excellent comments stalky. Quoting 'Stalky_Studnuts'I have no difficulty with a couple of married guys helping each other out every now and again. The situation you've described however is, in my opinion, pretty insidious. It can only lead to trouble and that's because you are both already quite attached, emotionally, through your earlier interactions. You'll be like a couple of naughty school children... and the fact is, you have to be prepared to get caught, which, no doubt, you will. Does your other half know you? I mean it's hardly discrete in those circumstances and that will likely hurt so much more, because of the humiliation factor. There's no way I'd put myself in that situation. It's no random, one off slip... It's a fully deceitful plan with an old flame! Struth. Do what feels right for you. Hugs Stalky studnuts
-
davidex46x
13 years ago
Meeka100...Merry me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xx D
-
wannabyummymummy
13 years ago
At the end of the day you have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and like the person you see.If his wife knows about it and they have an agreement/understanding and you are in no way looking to break them up and just after some fun, then I don't see an issue with that.Like goodgirlz said if you are looking for a relationship out of it you are going to come off second best and the likelihood that it will end well is very very small (ok microscopic really)If his wife doesn't know and you are just after fun and nothing more then look at the worst case scenario, she finds out!! how would you deal with that? are you likely to feel guilty if the relationship ends because of it? could you handle it if she found out who you were and confronted you over it? (it could happen) if your cool with either or both of those outcomes then i guess there is nothing stopping you.You do mention that you have a son of your own have you considered what the consequences for him could be in this? is he old enough to be affected if the wife should show up to confront you? does he go to the same daycare as this FB's kid perhaps?? that could make things VERY messy Do you have other friends in common? that could increase the risk of being found out, (and again MESSY!!)A lot of people will take the moral high ground i am sure, and some will back you whatever you choose to do but really the only person who can make this choice is you, because in the end that is who you have to face each and everyday.You seem like you have a lot going for you, maybe it is best you find your fun elsewhere and let this guy deal with his own demons??Whatever you decide, good luck
-
RHP User
13 years ago
When a man or a woman gets married we suddenly treat them like they just caught some sort of disease. No one wants to take on a drama by associating with one of these lepers because you may become infected with something very sinister..' But seriously' you should take every situation on its merits.Only this week local current affairs programs interviewed a so called expert on married relationships which found 72% of men and 70% of women' found sex outside of marriage . It went on to say how it is almost impossible to get married and expect a couple to maintain sexual excitement with the one partner for the rest of their life. I think this only confirms what we already knew.Now Im not saying this should open a pandoras box. Every married couple deserves every chance to make the most of what of what they have made together, but when familiarity in-evidently kicks in' thats when the mind starts to wander.To answer your original question, if you are mature enough to accept meeting this guy for mutual gratification just to satisfy your urge and nothing else. Go for it.. He is the one who will have the guilt pangs, not you. You are only scratching a itch...
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'davidex46x' Meeka100...Merry me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xx D I would have to fuck you first. Sorry those are the rules. Although I do see we have some kinks in common. :P Good Italian boy don't know. My dad was Italian and he told me to avoid all Italians. HahaSo how naughty are you then?xxMeeka
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I understand the many different scenarios here, but I just want to ask.. the situation of meeting with a "married" person, is it to actually have a relationship, to fall in love, to go out on dates, dinner & movie, or just to release raw passion between two consenting adults who know what they want? I read a few responses above and morality was mentioned among other things, so I ask, is the outcome of potential sexual meetings to actually break up the marriage, hope that the married guy will leave his wife for you to start a new life or simply to satisfy BOTH individuals needs? - sexual needs -I can see the situation being different if say for example it was a with a work colleague, you see each other everyday, you "click", the bond gets stronger, perhaps one of u is lonely, the other comforts him/her THEN the friendship becomes more.. see what im getting at?at a "personals" site, you are being straight forward, honest, "i want fun" "i want sex" "i want to explore my wild side" - but are u asking to find love? are u asking for a relationship - or just a f!ck buddy?just putting it out there.. and of course, follow your "gut" feeling, if it doesnt "feel" right, it probably isnt..good luck!
-
RHP User
13 years ago
i wouldn't do it .. i wouldn't like to be on the other end of something like that .. has been mentioned already ... KARMA what goes around..... unless of course wifey know's all about it and is ok on the idea!
-
RHP User
13 years ago
miss sarahboo, you really should stop wasting your precious time on the married guy and see some of us other local guys instead ;)
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Thanks to everyone for their comments. I would just like to say that had this been just some random i wouldnt have even considered it. So, to answer some of your questions, yes I suppose there is some sort of emotional baggage in out friendship, if only because we have history. I just want to make it clear that I have no 'romantic' interest (i am not lookign for a relationship with him) it would have been simply sex and, of course, friendship. Having said that, I have made my decision. And I would like it to be known that I did make my decision based on my feelings and what I feel is moraly right and what I can live with. So thanks to everyone for their comments and opinions very much appreciated. P.S My selfesteme is perfectly fine. I'm big, beautiful and proud lol. stretchmarks, lumps, bumps n all! :P
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Take a ticket you dirty married men and line up over here. Please note, five star hotels only I like sticky date pudding from room service Its a tough job but some slut has to do it. wanders off in her scarlet dress and heels and says In her best Mae West. " A Penny for your thoughts Boys" Rocks are a buck a bit, and no responsibility taken if they come right back at ya. I think you need to get one thing straight with married men. You have a hole, they have a dick Leave the heart and the wuv me baby , out of the picture. If you want more then you just become a home wrecker. Playing around is, like a dog that can”t help licking his nuts Once he gets the taste of it he will keep doing it and if he leaves a woman for you, he will leave you for another woman This goes for women as well, married play is not just the boys getting their end away.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
In quoting that social expert you are not telling the full story. The study was done on Uiversity students under the age of 30 as they are the most likely to play around and the actual statistics were between 30% and 72%. A lot of variables there. There was no corresponding study done on older couples. A fact that the interveiwers pointedly asked the researcher. Everyone else has raised some very valid points and I guess only you can decide what is right for you. If the friends wife has recently had a baby, she may be busy with the baby and he is feeling a little left out. You know yourself how tired a new baby makes you. They have only been together for one year. Not very much time to make a relationship work. It does depend a lot on what you want from this man as well. Is it just random sex? You both have history and because of that things may get messier than you intend. Personally I like to go out for dinner every now and then. I like to go away for a weekend every now and then. A married man can not give you those things. Even as just a friend with benefits. The most you can hope for is a quick text message on christmas, maybe to see him on your birthday. I understand that there are many reasons why a man or woman seeks solace outside of thier relationship and I am okay with that. As someone who comes in and satisfies you occassionally it is ok but if you want more...there are many single men out there. You are young and beautiful. You dont have to spend your time waiting around until it is convienient for a married man to slip away from his wife.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
on their own without their partners knowledge and approval? not a snowballs chance in fucking hell. its been 'no' since day 1. it will be 'no' til we choose to no longer play. we'd rather not play at all, than play with someone elses partner.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Firstly..some absolutely brilliant posts above...- Im nodding in agreeance to all of them - some wise words written here Yep Ive been "the wife" .....and trust me when I found out it was beyond gut wrenching, it was devastating..and Im still recovering from it...I wont go on about it all, the bottom line was that the world as I knew it was shattered and I will never ever look at my life the same way again, his cheating destroyed all my dreams and concept of happiness...........however Im not going to lay a guilt trip on you either..but what I will say is this I do not know all the ins and outs of your past relationship with this man...only what you have posted... ....but I do believe this - that our heart cannot help who it falls in love with it...we cannot fully dictate to our heart who we love/lust after, it just happens and KABOOM it can be the most amazing experience...and it cant be helped ....what can be helped is what we do about it and are you prepared for the consequences of your actions..??? What I can also tell you is this...when I asked my husband "Why? Why ? Why ? " did he cheat on me (over and over again I might add) ...he only ever came back with these thoughts....over and over he said these words, like a mantra... Quote: Because it was there It was just a bit of fun It meant nothing It was easy and convenient as I already knew her I was bored and it was a bit exciting Something to do while you were at work I could just bonk her, didnt even have to take her out for a coffee I would never leave you for her - after all I spend my quality time with you I could never take her to meet my family I never felt anything for her No way would I take her to meet my mates etc etc etc And although my ex was a lying cheating bastard, I do believe the above statements are true....the other woman was exactly that..the other woman..nothing more, nothing less, she was just a place for him to stick his dick in, wriggle it around for a while and then he walked away. He always spent Xmas with me !!!... He never bought her flowers, or took her out to dinner, or went camping with her, or bought her jewlery, or went to Bali with her, or introduce her to his family and friends, hell they never even went out for a drink..just to her place or our place.. to bonk..all over within the hour.. We didnt break up over her, we broke up because he lied to me about it all and then lied to me about other issues (once a liar, always a liar) ...no trust, no relationship, no respect, no deal...and so I ended it, because I wasnt prepared to become the woman I was becoming...I hated myself for hating him Bottom line, if your happy to be regarded as just one of the quotes Ive just listed, then go for it....and thats exactly how he will remember you when justifying his actions to his wife who will find out,,...they always do....and remember this..as already stated..they rarely leave their wives for their mistresses and if they do..remember if he makes you his wife then the position of mistress just became vacant, ready to filled by some other lovely looking 25 year old....remember that...why would he stop at you ???? the words "I love you" can, AT TIMES, be the biggest con words in the world... Already you have shown integrity in seeking advice on this forum..you look like a beautiful girl and smart too ...dont sell yourself short ....dont be second best...go find some gorgeous man who will give you what you want and need with no hassles......and dont contribute to anyone elses unhappiness......after all ...if you were married, would you like it done to you ????
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'tuscanred' Take a ticket you dirty married men and line up over here. Please note, five star hotels only I like sticky date pudding from room service Its a tough job but some slut has to do it. wanders off in her scarlet dress and heels and says In her best Mae West. " A Penny for your thoughts Boys" Rocks are a buck a bit, and no responsibility taken if they come right back at ya. I think you need to get one thing straight with married men. You have a hole, they have a dick Leave the heart and the wuv me baby , out of the picture. If you want more then you just become a home wrecker. Playing around is, like a dog that can”t help licking his nuts Once he gets the taste of it he will keep doing it and if he leaves a woman for you, he will leave you for another woman This goes for women as well, married play is not just the boys getting their end away. and then of course there is the other side, Left her for her..... 10years later she leaves...... So just as TR said. not just the blokes, but the shelias too. :)
-
davidex46x
13 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'davidex46x' Meeka100...Merry me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xx D I would have to fuck you first. Sorry those are the rules. Although I do see we have some kinks in common. :P Good Italian boy don't know. My dad was Italian and he told me to avoid all Italians. HahaSo how naughty are you then?xxMeeka You are right there, we do have some kinks in common. hehe Plus I love your attitude and your way of thinking out of the square (that's how you say in english?) plus you are half italian, and my mum always tells me I should stick to italian women lol, plus physically you are divine definitely my type..og god I could go on and on for ever. Let's get married now!!!!!! ^-^ But maybe you are right we should fuck first, oh yeah we definitely should!! lol How about we start with a coffee instead?? I assume you like coffee given your background.. Lots of xxx D. ps whereabouts in italy was your dad from?
-
erotictouch4u
13 years ago
You knew him as fuck buddies before his marriage and now he wants you again. Who contacted who first after the marriage or have you been good friends all the time ? Your profile states you dont want anyone just for a quick shag. Has he mentioned if he wants things to be continuous like before or just once-off ? You mention you have been in a rut lately...so probably horny and lonely ? Maybe his wife is suffering depression after the childbirth and doesnt want sex from him and he too is horny ? Talk it over with him first...something you should be able to do if you were friends before. ET xox
-
Lifes_great
13 years ago
Tuscanred...always an inciteful and humuorous read, just love your comments! I think Goodgrlz summed it up pretty well. I don't know so much about the moral dilema because he is responsible for his own actions but I definately think you could end up getting hurt here. You are very attractive so I'm guessing the dry spell could be easily overcome, you are probably only considering him because of the emotional connection you already have. I think the question is 'do you need the grief?' Tough decision, I hope it all works out ok xx
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I would tell her to go for it but all this guy can give her is a quick shitty sex fuck fest in a car park, no 5 stars and a steaming pile or fucked up, used and damaged. He has nothing that she wants. If he could actually give her NSA, spoilt and treasured but sex only that would be different. All she's going to get out of this is pain, pain and more pain....oh and if she's REALLY lucky, a broken heart and a guy who will fuck around on her too. yay! She's young, she should stick to single and realise that alone is better than sloppy seconds.
-
davidex46x
13 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'davidex46x' Meeka100...Merry me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xx D I would have to fuck you first. Sorry those are the rules. Although I do see we have some kinks in common. :P Good Italian boy don't know. My dad was Italian and he told me to avoid all Italians. HahaSo how naughty are you then?xxMeekaI replied to your comment earlier on this morning, but it's taking for ever to display?!?! what the...lol
-
RHP User
13 years ago
i think...no.......we think.....that married men should read whats been written by single women. you guys take take take, and give absolutely nothing in return.......single women deserve 100% of your attention...........something you cannot give, while married to or living with someone else..............your wives/partners deserve 100% of your attention also, something you cannot give, if you're out there playing around....... grow up and be a man......make a choice one way or the other...and stop fucking people over, by fucking around... we certainly dont want you....nor do many women here, who appear to be both intelligent and reasonable people...............they get it....why dont you? too selfish? too childish? too conceited? too arrogant? too narcissistic? we think that its a hateful thing to be cheated upon.... its hurtful and destructive... for what? a bit of rumpy pumpy? theres no reason to cheat....at all.. only excuses..... as adults, shouldnt we have stopped dealing in excuses, and adopted responsibilty for our actions as a grown up behaviour trait? ......................no?..................??
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Bit harsh to say grow up and be a man. I think a man takes care of his family, and does not leave them for some rumpy pumpy. He stays and gets the rumpy pumpy on the side. That is a measure of a man,not one that goes sorry honey your not fucking me the way I want, another woman will do that for me. Just fend for yourself and the kids and good luck with that. I want married men to be on RHP , most women may not but its not the RHS as in red hot singles is it? I am intelligent and I think reasonable. I get it that they are not selfish,they care for their family and want to keep it in place. Some men go for years without sex but in the end just cant take it any more. I know this as one of my friends has not had sex with her husband for five long years,she says he can get it some place I don’t care. But she does not say that to his face,no she lets him sleep in a room alone. Two men I know and their wives have had operations and cant have sex, so what is a man supposed to do , say never mind sunshine your in a wheel chair now so I am off? I think it is responsible to take care of your desires without shitting on your family Any idiot can take his dick and pay packet to another snatch. It takes a strong man to just go have sex and try not to take his heart with him. Yes virgina, men who have affairs do get hurt. The are not all chines food as in pork and run , and you feel like you are hungry after you had em. I get that you got cheated on, I get that people get very hurt when they find out their husband is fucking around. How do I get this, well on my 16th anniversary while having a meal,in the middle of a pub after booking into a hotel for the night. I looked at my husband and I just knew. I don’t know why, and I said have you meet someone? The food was half way to his lips, and in that second that hesitation I knew. So I sat in a crowed bar with tears down my face. But you know what, he did the right thing he tried as best he could to be a family guy but being fly in fly out he became a walking chequebook. The honey do list was on the fridge, the kids were in my control , I called the shots and when he wanted sex I was to tired, to preoccupied to caught up in cyber crap , with the so called cyber hot studs He became invisible, no man wants that. I see it all the time with FIFO guys, the woman want the house,the car the private education and the time with themselves. The men are just inconvenient and having sex another chore. Give these guys a break and stop making them into demons Or even these women, that do the same thing, and there are a shit load of them out there as well. Save the sermon, I may be the Scarlett woman but at least I have a bit of heart and empathy and know things are not that simple.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Bit harsh to say grow up and be a man. I think a man takes care of his family, and does not leave them for some rumpy pumpy. He stays and gets the rumpy pumpy on the side. That is a measure of a man,not one that goes sorry honey your not fucking me the way I want, another woman will do that for me. Just fend for yourself and the kids and good luck with that. I want married men to be on RHP , most women may not but its not the RHS as in red hot singles is it? I am intelligent and I think reasonable. I get it that they are not selfish,they care for their family and want to keep it in place. Some men go for years without sex but in the end just cant take it any more. I know this as one of my friends has not had sex with her husband for five long years,she says he can get it some place I don’t care. But she does not say that to his face,no she lets him sleep in a room alone. Two men I know and their wives have had operations and cant have sex, so what is a man supposed to do , say never mind sunshine your in a wheel chair now so I am off? I think it is responsible to take care of your desires without shitting on your family Any idiot can take his dick and pay packet to another snatch. It takes a strong man to just go have sex and try not to take his heart with him. Yes virgina, men who have affairs do get hurt. The are not all chines food as in pork and run , and you feel like you are hungry after you had em. I get that you got cheated on, I get that people get very hurt when they find out their husband is fucking around. How do I get this, well on my 16th anniversary while having a meal,in the middle of a pub after booking into a hotel for the night. I looked at my husband and I just knew. I don’t know why, and I said have you meet someone? The food was half way to his lips, and in that second that hesitation I knew. So I sat in a crowed bar with tears down my face. But you know what, he did the right thing he tried as best he could to be a family guy but being fly in fly out he became a walking chequebook. The honey do list was on the fridge, the kids were in my control , I called the shots and when he wanted sex I was to tired, to preoccupied to caught up in cyber crap , with the so called cyber hot studs He became invisible, no man wants that. I see it all the time with FIFO guys, the woman want the house,the car the private education and the time with themselves. The men are just inconvenient and having sex another chore. Give these guys a break and stop making them into demons Or even these women, that do the same thing, and there are a shit load of them out there as well. Save the sermon, I may be the Scarlett woman but at least I have a bit of heart and empathy and know things are not that simple.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I keep repeating myself!
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I have met many singles who are actually married men. They don't come clean until you meet. So don't be fooled by all the single guys on this site. If you crave the attention and want some hot hot sex with a guy then this is a sex site and who cares what their status is. Sex is Sex.....single or married.Believe me....lots of married men pay for 5 star rooms in top hotels, dinner & give you a night of amazing passion.So if you want it....then go for it.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
no. men dont stay and stray..thats not a realistic or fair opinion. men leave, so their kids dont see the arguments, and dont live in an affection free household with disfunctional parents. men dont betray their wives. women dont betray their husbands. thats not adult behaviour. you offer us excuses.....5 year olds operate using excuses to justify their behaviours. adults take responsibility for their actions and do the right thing. they look after the welfare of those around themselves first, and if they find theirs arent being met while they do so...they move on....going outside of the marital bed for a bit of rumpy pumpy cannot be justified by anyone.......... leaving and starting over is always the right decision...staying but straying is usually not. we wont give married people a break.......not ever...did they give us a 'break'?..........both of us have been thru the cheating crap..the lies, the bullshit, the betrayal and the humiliation...... neither of us are so shallow that we can brush aside being cheated upon as inconsequential........it wasnt..... it was life changing...it destroyed our lives, and the happiness of those around us....so theres no excuse or simplistic explanation you can offer up that we'll ever accept as a justification for cheating........we are neither of us cheats....we are not deceptive or insincere in our motives or intents, and we are fully aware and dedicated to the promises we made to each other when we wed....spoken and unspoken...... leaving is the option we'd take.... long before accepting cheating as something we could consider....... this is our choice, the way we live our lives....if you feel its ok that you promote cheating as an option for married and otherwise commited people...you go right ahead...but for us...dealing in or promoting other peoples unhappiness is not something we could ever do....we like who we see in our mirror each morning.... i trust the face that looks back at me....100% in all things..............i'd suggest you think of these peoples partners a little bit more than you obviously do..... do you think they'd approve??? i wonder....before i go....if i'd accepted my ex's cheating ..... and stayed.... would i have been even a fraction as happy as i am now......and i wonder...if my wife had accepted her ex's cheating.... would we have ever met?.... no and no... her ex, couldnt keep his cock inside his pants......and my wifes a very sexual woman...ready to please at a moments notice....that he cheated at all is something i find amazingly stupid......but hey, his loss was my gain..... lucky lucky me......so 'good on him' for being the low browed scum he was..... he did ok for me.....lol.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Why give him what he can get at home?
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I see where your coming from. From previous posts from people hurt by deception. I think your points are valid, for your circumstance. I have had some horror stories in my life as well, but I cannot put my own scars on other people. Each person, has their own individual and unique set of circumstance. This is why I cannot agree with a blanket black or white that has to be applied to every other person on here. There are things I do not like, and ways some people behave But my views are shaped by my the life I have lead. I cannot expect everyone on RHP to be a mini moral me. I know you guys(mikeandshell) and many of my other friends have been traumatised by infidelity I on the other hand forgive, and it has served me well The person I love and care for to this day is my x husband, and I know how he must have been torn at times. The statement, why give him what he gets at home? I guess if he gets he/ she gets no sex then he/.she deserves nothing but to suck it up? Yep I see that, and they suck it up in a bottle, or drugs. Mike and Shell you are both attractive articulate people, who are very much in love. Your lucky to have found each other But as you go to your warm bed in each others arms and with an open marriage with all the perks that come with that. Others go to bed, alone with the person they love turning their backs or telling them to sleep in the spare room. That s all I am trying to say, your opinions are valid. Mine sympathetic to those caught in unfortunate circumstance.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
SLK27 - I could copy and paste your whole story, and it would be mine. You hurt, you die, you don't recover for years. And my 2 children visited their own hell, whilst living for years within a broken marriage. Yep, I tried for such a long time to make it all better and make it work, but after a few more "accidents, as my husband called them" I left.The two having a fucking good time are not the ones that will suffer here.Remain true to yourself xoxox
-
RHP User
13 years ago
many many married men wil tell you that its far worse than it really is at home.............in the hope of garnering a 'sympathy fuck' ............. theres an incredible amount of bullshit that gets spouted from a mans mouth, when theres something he wants, but he cant usually have....... they'll tell you.....'my wife doesnt like sex'.....when in fact she does, but the guys focused on his damned computer and the fantasy world he can access through it..... and hasnt seen the expensive lingerie shes bought for their anniversary.....(3 weeks ago).....so shes been pissed with him since.......... or 'my wifes just not adventurous'...when..shes saying no....to things that she's never experienced, but which he has 4 boxes of porno mags on, and a collection of dvd's about..... not enjoying watersports equates to being not adventurous to some guys.....or bdsm.....or she just refuses to try that home made dildo he put together using a rolling pin and a cordless drill.....doh? or.... my wife and I argue so much i end up sleeping on the couch every night.....shes such a bitch......but the reality of it is, that he's a prick and he's been at the pub for 4 hours when he shouldve been doing the groceries with her....and now the kids had toast for dinner... and.......she hates me, i'm sure...she calls me bastard.. but i've done nothing...i crave affection........ and its true...he's done nothing..for a month...not the lawn, not the pool, not the shelf in the bedroom thats fallen off the wall.....not even taken 5 minutes to ask her how her day was, and how her sore back is going.... even.....my wife wont have sex during the day, or with the light on, or in the bathroom any more....she hides herself from me...... but he wont tell you that he's teased her about her extra weight that shes carried, since her thrid pregnancy, oh, and since she hurt her leg, and put a disc out carrying a kid on one arm while pushing the dog back into the house with 3 bags of shopping on the other arm....while he was at the TAB putting 45 bucks on a sure thing that ran like some drunken sailor............and is still running........ married and attached guys will bullshit and lie and fabricate all sorts of scenarios to get what they want...and spend half a months income on a night at some hotel so they can wine and dine someone, while their wife and kids are at home wondering............ 'where the fuck is daddy?'............oh, and eating baked beans on toast for dinner (she decided not to get that script for Oxycontin and is putting up with her back pain...again)... ffs ...shes gone off sex...because he has no idea of how the whole foreplay thing goes, that its not a nudge in the middle of the back at 1am, or whispering in her ear something erotic like 'suck my cock bitch'....or he's put on 15kgs, has 2 broken teeth he refuses to see a dentist about, and has the personal hygeine of a wild boar...grease under his fingernails and mud ( i hope its mud) between his toes, isnt attractive...neither is the hair sprouting from his nose,ears, and eyebrows....and hey, he ran out of deodorant a month ago...so has been going without (nah i'm right honey, i dont need anything in the groceries).....and has been shaving with a half blunt and useless razor...... and doesnt understand that there really is a reason they dont have sex........its him... he's not looking, sounding , smelling very attractive any more....and she's finding it hard to become aroused at all ....and dreads the nights where he actually does come to bed somewhere around the time she does...................(omg please please please let me be asleep before he comes to bed and wakes the dead with his snoring.)........... how many men put themselves, their mates, the pub, the boat, the footy, the golf, the TAB, the man-cave, the 1972 HQ Premier he's been rebuilding since 1984,the beer fridge,the barby and the damned computer...before their wives....and then bitch to all and sundry that she neglects him and refuses to have sex any more ( oh wont somebody please pay me some attention?).......and how many will tell you....that they've not had sex since the 16th of August 1977...........because she still mourns her elvis....or some such rubbish? .......we've heard so many lame assed excuses as to why we should allow some married guy or another, to spend some time with us at play...lol...some are absolutely staggering in their complexity...my god these guys have lives like a greek tragedy....or the bold and beautiful....or some such tripe...... just sayin.....lol.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Their are two main things to consider, both relate to your character. 1. The old saying goes "If you sleep with dogs, you'll wake with fleas. 2. Do onto others as you would have done onto you. This means if you go down this road and in 10 years time your man is shagging some other skank, don't be angry. Can you accept Karma? Don't get me wrong. I'm married and make love to an awsome woman (not my wife) all the time but she (wife) knows what I do and is friends with the other woman . We are all friends and there is full disclosure. Life is so clear when there is total transparency!
-
RHP User
13 years ago
From experence, if its all in the open. It works. Unless they are after somthing more. And yes there are some blokes/ladys out there that are looking for something a bit more. As for the sex, yes its great to connect with another body.even reach other types of highs from it. Even if you and your partner are exploring your own boundarys. Involving them one way or another and keeping a clear path of comuincation (no secreats), only strenthens your own relastionship.To be honest, the only person i do go home with at the end of everynight- is my better half. Plain and simple she is my best friend/lover/companion/and mother of our great children.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Hi Sarahboo,Whilst it is always flattering to hear from an old flame maybe ask yourself a couple of these questions.Was he only a fuckbuddy or did you actually like him more?What are his motivations for getting in contact with you after he is now married and got a child?How would you feel if you were his wife and he was going behind your back?You seem to be a smart and attractive woman so why would you want to take second place.We all know the thrill of what you cant have and forbidden fruit it is hot and naughty, but do you really want an angry and distressed wife giving you a hard time when you get found out, do you need the drama.If you are in a rut, well get out there and have some fun, there are heaps of hot guys on here that I am sure would be tripping over their balls just to get the chance to go on a date with you :)If you want to have a bit of a giggle and fun with him, ask him if his wife is into a threesome or ask him if she is OK with you guys hooking up. I asked this question recently to a married guy (he knows my partner and I swing) and he soon backed off. You seem far better than to be with a guy that cant be honest with himself or others.cheersLisa Lou
-
RHP User
13 years ago
half the people who tell you thay are caught in an 'unfortunate circumstance' are there because of their own actions...or lack of..... its easy to blame the partner...but its neither honest nor realistic...there are, after all...2 people in the relationship........i think that before you set out to hook these poor unfortunate and misunderstood men and women up...you should perhaps hear both sides of their stories...speak with the partners of a few and find out what the real reasons for their unhappiness are...you'd be surprised by how many are actually fixable (communication is a key point)....facilitating their deception and infidelity is, to me, worse than them actually cheating..... you think you'd be doing what? fixing a relationship? keeping it together? i'd say you'd be contributing...aiding and abetting.....in maintaining a lie and potentially adding to peoples misery......something to put on a resume? ....i think not! ......something to share with your grandkids? no again...to me, it would be something to hide, a concealment that shouldnt see the light of day............how would you look at yourself in the mirror...knowing you'd assisted someone in their betrayal of their partner?...his or her partner might be so trusting, so completely in love with the person you are dealing with that the last thing they'd think is that they would be betrayed in this way.....will you put your hand up and take responsibility when they are eventually found out? admit to being the one who facilitated this deception? tell the kids, the parents, the friends?........ if you want to 'pimp' for these people...go right ahead....but remember how you felt...when you found out....remember the emotions that coursed through your body...how your heart broke and how the bile rose up your throat and the tears welled in your eyes.....if it was an experience that you'd like to share with others...go right ahead..... no ones ever died from lack of sex...........its not a 'need' necessary to maintain life........people manage, and survive without.........those who dont manage, go outside of the marital bed....... some for reasons so inconsequential its not even remotely reasonable.............i'd say in these circumstances, that perhaps a referral to a sex worker might be a more responsible option.... sex workers dont become attached...sex workers dont have affairs....sex workers are all business ....... if you are out there activley putting mr anderson together with mrs smith....and they set off on a long term affair that eventually tears asunder his or her home and destroys the lifes of an entire family.....i'd want to hope that you have enough conviction in the 'right' of what you are doing...that you'd be able to do the right thing and admit your complicity to those who ended up hurt...... its not only family units that are torn apart by a persons infidelity...the person/s they are straying with too, are potentially bound for unhappiness...men and women fall in love with the people they invite into their bedrooms...fact of life....people want the connection to develop and blossom, into something more fulfilling and meaningful than a half regular but secretive rendesvous with someone who is quickly very much more than a stranger..... what begins as a little bit of fluff on the side, can quickly become something that drives people to actions they might not normally consider.... 'passion' is an insidious thing... people end up hurt...or worse....as a result of where our passions take us and what actions they push us to...and suddelnly that woman..or man.....who was happily and readily making him or herself available, has become a jealous and possesive beast....because they've fallen in love....and will do anything to see their love fulfilled and consummated..... when you pick up a newspaper and read about the wife who was bludgeoned to death by a husband intent on being with his mistress by any means possible...how will you feel when you realise it was you that made all this happen by putting these people together in the first place?? or when you see the woman you put together with someone elses husband, and she is so miserable and unhappy, because they cant be open and go public with their love, for fear of destroying his or her homelife, that shes lost 6kgs and looks haggard in her sorrow and sadness...will you take responsibilty for this and share in her grief? i think not........do you?
-
RHP User
13 years ago
My personal opinion is NO, unless the wifey knows. My husband had an affair behind my back and although we have managed to get through it, it caused so much pain and heartache for all involved including our teenage daughter who eventually found out what daddy had been up to. I confronted the other woman and she said she felt terrible about what she had done and she seemed genuine. I often run into this women when I'm out and about, I hold my head high and she cringes when she see's me....I imagine the guilt she feels is horrible but thats the choice she made and now she has to live with it. RHP has so many hotties, why not find someone without all the hassles. Goodluck with whatever choice you make x
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Qif its good for the goose its good for the gander
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Yep all of the above are true Most of the above is true But then some of what I said has truth as well. I think it would have been good if you did the female version of that as well. As husband buys flowers and wife sneezes says you know I do not like flowers. Husband buys sexy stuff, wife is pissed of and says I am not wearing that, makes me look like a whore, and puts it in the bottom draw. Husband says would you mind just swallowing once or giving me some head? Wife says don’t be such a dirty prick, and then when she wants that new washing machine offers it up, but then has a tissue handy to grab his seed. Wife lets kids sleep in middle of the bed, till they go off to college. Wife and girlfriend are just "friends" but you catch them with locked lips in the bathroom Wife does got to bed before husband, or stays up watching her fav show till she hears hubby snoring Wife stays on the computer till 4am telling her cyber lover how she cant live with out him and fingering herself at the same time. Husband wonders why computer keyboard smells of pussy? Wife takes credit card to by lingerie her husband will never see, and when he sees the statement she tells him she got a support bra for playing tennis with the girls. Wife gets new set of DD tits, lets him have a feel then says they are a to tender to play with, but the postman, garbage guy and electrician all cop a feel Wife gives cop blow job to get out of speeding ticket she got while driving that new car hubby gave her for letting him fuck her up the bum ,just this one time. I do think your post was really very good and it rang of the truth. And I do know about the pain part of all of this stuff, and yes it gets pretty ugly for everyone concerned. I may be trivial at times but that does not mean I have not been in your shoes.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
i'll ask Shel for her input then? see what she reckons, and what shes experienced or worked out for herself...lol. Mike.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
justjuice....you really explained everything in plain English. Thanks. Quoting 'justjuice' When a man or a woman gets married we suddenly treat them like they just caught some sort of disease. No one wants to take on a drama by associating with one of these lepers because you may become infected with something very sinister..' But seriously' you should take every situation on its merits.Only this week local current affairs programs interviewed a so called expert on married relationships which found 72% of men and 70% of women' found sex outside of marriage . It went on to say how it is almost impossible to get married and expect a couple to maintain sexual excitement with the one partner for the rest of their life. I think this only confirms what we already knew.Now Im not saying this should open a pandoras box. Every married couple deserves every chance to make the most of what of what they have made together, but when familiarity in-evidently kicks in' thats when the mind starts to wander.To answer your original question, if you are mature enough to accept meeting this guy for mutual gratification just to satisfy your urge and nothing else. Go for it.. He is the one who will have the guilt pangs, not you. You are only scratching a itch...
-
RHP User
13 years ago
All that is really needed is a lot less expectations and a lot more conversations between the married couple.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Its this monogamy thing again..... why is it that we mostly equate love and sex... the two are not necessarily linked. It sounds like you and he have a physical need "an itch", that need filling.If u are both mutually wanting this, go for it! But be discreet about it.. Lovers ans mistresses have been around for thousands of years, so its nothing new...Brad
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Even tho you have a past maybe thats what it was meant to be a memory !!!....A few fun times together could end up with his wife on your door step putting you and your child at risk............. is it worth it in the end ?? ....... when there are 100's of single guys out there wanting casual regualr sex .......which some may have the potential to develope :)........... explore the ocean so to speak !! lee x
-
RHP User
13 years ago
"good italian boy" ...ummm ... since when ... ;)sorry - just HAD to comment on that one and not the subject matter ...xx
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I dunno why people have to pour their own piss and vinegar on this situation. For instance, maybe the dude has a day pass for fucks sake. You lot really should resist applying your own individual circumstances as determinates of the decisions of others. Not all marriages are made in heaven. :) Hugs Stalky
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Give us a go , we are not all in sexless marriages, but more to the point, have a good appetite for sexual play meets.Things become normal or everyday things become average, so meeeting a new woman and having some hot meeets adds to the excitement and brings back those feelings of new horizons. I love meeting new people and feeling like a individual.Friendship is very important and being able to feel comfortable in each others company or the rest is no good. More to come
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Mistakes people make I dunno why people have to pour their own piss and vinegar on this situation. For instance, maybe the dude has a day pass for fucks sake. You lot really should resist applying your own individual circumstances as determinates of the decisions of others. Not all marriages are made in heaven. :) Hugs StalkyI think Stalky, we are all putting our two bits worth in, because sarahboo asked for what everyone thought. And from what I can read, that is what everyone is doing. Some for - but most against.I just think in a married relationship there should not be such high expectations but alot more deep, open, from the heart converstions.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
My hubby has his own profile on RHP which I set up for him. I am happy for him to play alone and he does tell the fems when chatting that he has a partner who knows what he does. Some like to chat with me to clarify this and some I have even met in person. Not all married men are cheating on their wives. If you do meet a guy who says he's married and his wife knows what he does then ask to chat with her.... he'll soon show his true colors as to whether he's lying or not.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
a day and night pass go get em, sugar
-
RHP User
13 years ago
99% of people on this site are really just looking for some NSA fun. So my position is, if you have a problem in shagging a married man or woman you are actually looking for more than just some naughty sexy fun. It shouldnt matter if your sexy time fun buddy goes home alone or to a partner or spouse, they were yours for the time you sepnt together. Being worries about sloppy seconds or whatever is just ego. Lets face it, once we have lost our virginity we are always going to be someones sloppy seconds or thirds or whatever. How bout we just be honest people and stop pretending there are morals that guide us when existing in this world.
-
bellajss
13 years ago
I dont have a problem fucking a married man... i do it often... oh you mean a married man besides my hubby.. Honestly.. I dont have a problem, as i only worry about my marriage... and I have my hubbies permission and he has mine to play away from home.. We have rules to abide by... SarahBoo... you have to work out within your own conscience and moral code if you can play wiht him or not...
-
RHP User
13 years ago
This topic never fails at a party
-
RHP User
13 years ago
If a man is not satisfied with what he's getting at home, he'll go elsewhere to find it. If not with you then it will be with someone else. If you're going to do this, go in with your eyes wide open. He hasnt left his wife for himself so he probably won't for you. If you're not looking for a long term relationship, just a bit of fun, please yourself. Just dont fall into a trap. I too have quite a bit of experience here, that Im not going to bore you with, on both sides of the equation. You only live once. Be true to yourself.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Ok, so I have a few different opinions on this!Firstly, I am currently seeing a married man. Been seeing him for over a year, chat daily and sex occasionally. We dont meet up other than for sex, there no dating. We do however talk about everything and everything...He has been with his wife since he was young, and has 3 teenage kids, and has no intention on leaving her (not that he has discussed with me anyway!)I have NO desire for anything other than a friend to chat with and occasional amazing sex. We have no mutual friends, no ties outside of the online world.It works for us :)Second, an old fuck buddy contacted me, about 2 years after getting married to a girl i knew, has a 1yo daughter and basically came to town on his own and messaged me asking for sex. I had a very difficult decision here as I used to have very strong feelings for this guy, and I knew his wife. I said no, there was too much previous history and if I had of gone there, there would have been too much guilt because I used to care for the guy and his wife knows me and we all have/had mutual friends.Simply put, wayyyy to close to home!So basically, as a lot of people have stated here, there is a lot of things which will give you your answer, ultimately its what you can live with in your own mind :)Good luck!
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Think about where his genetials been...He is commited to his wife.Personally.. if he wants "all of you" he has to leave his wife. As part of the Marriage agreement, him sleeping around nullifies the marriage. (Now before anyone gets all stupid and cranky and decided to fire a pointless shotgun at my thread, THIS IS MY OPINION. I am entitled to my opinion. Having said that, Look up OPINION, and understand what it really means....)My REAL question is.. Is he really happy with his wife?If im married, there is NO WAY IN HELL (or in heaven.. or anywhere in between) , i'd sleep outside marriage. I chose her for a damn good reason.... :)
-
RHP User
13 years ago
After enjoying a very healthy sex life when we were courting, my wife had our kids and now can't think of many things worse than having sex. Every now and then (maybe once a month if I'm lucky) she lets me have her way with her but she lets me know I'm getting lucky in a 'let's get this business over and done with then' manner - clearly exciting...not! She won't even let me touch her pussy with my hands and I wouldn't dare suggest that I give her head (my idea of heaven). So me knowing how much she's detesting the situation tries to pump away and finish off as quickly as I can to relieve her of all this unpleasantness.I have tried to talk to her in every way possible over the last few years. I want to know why she is like this. Why she won't let herself enjoy the pleasure that I want to give her. Why she is denying us the closeness that a healthy marriage needs. she tells me that she's tired and just not really interested at the moment. I get that to an extent but I when I tell her that it's affecting our marriage she shrugs and says that she's just permanently not in the mood at the moment, and that I'm being selfish, but that it is something that will change at some point in the future. It's pretty devestating that the woman who I love deeply, the mother of my beautiful children, the hot chick whose brains I want to fuck out has no desire for me physically. (and before I get the inevitable jibes, I do take care of myself and I am fairly sure that I'm an attractive guy).And thinking back our sex life was totally hot for years. She does understand how I feel and that I'm justified in having some degree of entitlement to have a small part of what we used to enjoy, but it's just too much to bear.So here's my predicament...I love her incredibly, I don't want to do anything to change our marriage and family but I have a basic human need that craves fulfillment. Granted I'm probably more highly sexed than your average bear but I just don't want to consign myself to a life without sex. There's only so much looking at porn that you can do until you need something more.So guys, am I being selfish? Am I the devil in disguise like some posts I've read? What should I do? Am I justified in looking for something here to satisfy my basic desires so as to carry on my homelife where were all happy? And...ahem are there any hot women in Melbourne that might be interested in a regular nsa arrangement with me?Sorry couldn't resist...lol
-
RHP User
13 years ago
So after a very healthy sex life when we were courting (and early in our marriage) my wife had our kids and now can't think of many things worse than having sex. Every now and then she lets me have my way with her but she lets me know I'm getting lucky in this 'let's get this nasty business over and done with then' manner - clearly exciting...not! She won't even let me touch her pussy, and heaven forbid let me give her head (my idea of heaven). So when I'm allowed to get down to it I pump away in an attempt to finish off as quickly as I can and end all this unpleasantness. I've tried to talk to her about this endlessly over the years but it's clear that nothing much will work. I want to know why she won't let me give her the pleasure I can offer, why she's denying us the closeness that a healthy marriage needs. She says that she's tired and that she just has no interest. I understand this to an extent but she knows that it's affecting our marriage and no matter how much I reach out to her she doesn't seem to want to do anything to try and work through the situation. It's really devastating that the woman who I love so much, the mother of our amazing kids, the woman whose brains I want to fuck out doesn't want to be intimate with me. Is there something wrong with me? Don't worry I ask myself this all the time. I ask her. I'm fit and good looking. I'm a good husband and father. And she tells me that I am all of this, but she says that sex is just a part of her life that she could do without at the moment. She does tell me that she thinks it will change but she doesn't know when. And thinking back we had a totally hot sex life back in the day. Granted I'm more highly sexed than your average bear but I'd settle for a lot less than what I'd ultimately like. I just don't want to consign myself to a life without a fraction of sexual enjoyment. So guys, what should I do? Am I the devil in disguise (like some posts have intimated) for looking elsewhere? Am I justified in looking for women on RHP in an effort to keep my homelife in tact? And...ahem are there any hot women in Melbourne who are ok with having some hot times with a married man who are interested in a nsa arrangement with me? Sorry couldn't resist...lol
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Simple answer, difficult resolution. The only advice I have is identify your morals and stick to them. At the end of the day its you that you have to be happy with and your morals, whatever they may be, that define you. but they are varied and each to their own.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
hmmm..... just re-read what i wrote....sorry people...mustve been too much sugar....or caffeine....or even both?
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Simple answer, difficult resolution. The only advice I have is identify your morals and stick to them. At the end of the day its you that you have to be happy with and your morals, whatever they may be, that define you. but they are varied and each to their own.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I was with a man for nearly 2 years whom was and still is in a relationship with the other women, and you listen, and you care about everything thats going on in there life and what about YOU, Think about yourself and whats in it for you he will never change and always use excuses to get you in the sack and get up and leave you, is that what you really want for you, they always tell you what you want to hear and you are so much better than that believe me its shitty always being second and should always put yourself FIRST sex is not that good with a man who is married, and he can never give you what you want emotionally
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Beautiful post and if my scarlet dress is back from the drycleaners I will be on the next plane along with several of my girlfriends to make you a sandwich. Thoughtful lil devils that we are.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
well, I'm married and seeing someone else. As some people have pointed out, it's not simply black and white. For a number of reasons separation/divorce is not an option at this stage. I didn't go out looking for a relationship, we clicked and started seeing each other (over 8 months now), we are very sexually compatible, both have very dirty minds and are very keen to experiment together. Unfortunately at home things were just getting worse, have tried many times to sort them out but to no avail, I have a strong sex drive and my needs weren't getting satisfied. Might sound selfish to some but oh well, life is not simple. Not particularly keen on seeing prostitutes (never has been my cup of tea). I'm sure I'll cop crap from some people, but it's my decision, wasn't taken lightly but in my mind it was the right one.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
no..............its a 'want'........ a basic human 'need' is something you will die without...like food, or water.... it wont kill you if you dont have sex....only in your imagination........
-
RHP User
13 years ago
what a sexy woman gee i wish you were in melb right now
-
RHP User
13 years ago
New KinkyYep - in every debate there is the other side. As the scorned woman, I hear you. There is definitely no easy answer. Just, please, be prepared for the consequences when your wife finds out - she will - at some point.And back to darling Sarahboo - the choice is yours, just make it one you can live with - both now and later.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Is there a valid reason for cheating ? - debateable..coming from your own persepctive.....I empathise thoroughly with someone in a postion like Newkinky.....I cant imagine how difficult that living situation must be...and in some peoples eyes, justifiable that he seeks solace elswhere...I understand that (medical reasons, loss of sexual desire etc - for reasons that people may consider straying) - providing that the playing field is level - in other words, cough up and TRY to negotiate a solution with your beloved....do not think for a moment that the solution to your issues, is between the thighs of someone else. Ive been married several times.....divorced once, widowed twice...and trust me marriage even to the rite person- the love of you life... is a hard slog...compromise compromise compromise is the key..however it is a myth that people stray just cause things aren't real flash at home (yes that is ONE reason) and one reason only. Some stray just because they can, to satisfy their hedonistic, narcissitic traits.... they stray for the thrill of it all...they stray because they become addicted to the adrenalin rush of the chase..... and the "fear" of being caught, I have no probs with a "open relationship" it can work, what I have a problem with if one person is "cheating" and the other person in the relationship - has no idea..they are just living life, making plans, thinking all is okey dokey in their worlds.......and the cheating partner, encourages that illusion - as was the case with myself....I thought all was hunky dory..and trust me my partner never said anything, nor led me to believe any different. We still "dated" , I did the sexy lingerie thing, we happily swung and met some gorgeous people as a result, we had a active sex life, we build a life together, traveled etc , received beautiful flowers once a week, jewelry for the birthday and he always remembered our anniversary... and I thought we also had open communication...I was wrong... Naturally I was beyond angry when my partner cheated ( made more disgusting in my eyes that it happened constantly in our home - anyone cheated on will tell you thats the lowest of low) and for a long time there I blamed myself - banging my head up against the walll questioning every aspect of myself...and I mean every aspect...... it took endless reassurance, therapy, self examination and more than a few bourbons (and gorgeous supportive girlfriends) to convince me that there wasnt anything "wrong with me"...that this was his lifestyle choice and he kept on choosing to hurt me - with complete disregard for me and my feelings, dreams, hopes etc...always justifying his actions by saying that "he still loved me"..if love is repeatedly and deliberately hurting someone (be it by cheating, or gambling, or drug taking (the dealbreaker) - or whatever it is that one does that DELIBERATELY hurts their partner) then Im so glad he didnt hate me !! imagine how he would have treated me then ??!! If my partner had the guts or grown some balls and had the common courtesy and decency to state what he wanted to me and giving me choices (Yes babe - Im happy to have a open relationship or for you to have a bit on the side, as long as I can too) our story may not have ended......we will never know because I wasn't given the respect and courtesy I deserved from the person who claimed to have "loved me" above all others. If you are married to your "best friend" -you chose this person above all others, who you declared publicly before you friends and family that his was the "One" that you wished to journey downs lifes road with... then is it really so hard to be honest and upfront about your needs, wants, desires ?.....if this is your best friend can you not be honest with them ?..or did you in the end, marry the wrong person ??...or did you really believe in this life, that you can have your cake and eat it too...under some illusions here if you think that.., methinks.. So to those who are contemplating "cheating" I say this..., before you go down that path which is struin with lies,deceit and broken hearts and dreams, perhaps have a honest chat with the "love of your life" and see where that person is coming from as well.....yep it may be time ro review and renew that marriage contract, renegotiate terms and conditions... and maybe even terminate it....Oh yes you may not like what your partner says back to you...or you may, but at least give them a opportunity to contemplate what you are offering.....and then there is the case..like it or not..where you just may have to "put up" with your current situation..isnt that the part in your marriage vows , where you promised to hang in there..."thru sickness or in health - thru the good times and the bad" etc...sometimes you just have to suck it up !!! - if you dont believe that...and your of the mindset, that "life is too short " - yada yada yada..then why in the hell did you get married ?????????????????? Because once you start cheating and lying to the person who you are suppose to love above all others (and Im not including any children, that may have resulted from your union and how they can be affected by your lifestyle decisions - their hurt, fears and understanding of the betrayal is whole other kettle of fish) where is your "line in the sand" ? - your moral code ? If you lie and cheat to the one you love (justifying your actions whichever way you will) then is ok to say murder them as well cause they pissed you off for one reason or another ???? oh no, murder is criminal and wrong and we have laws against it and society will frown and condemn..........mmmmm..... cheating.......trust me the stab in the back...feels exactly the same !!!
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Are there different morales involvolved if it's a married man or married woman who is doing the deed? Do married men cheat whilst women express themselves or have their needs met? It seems to me easier for a married woman to indulge in NSA/fuckbuddy/sex than married guys. Or is that just my experience? It does seem easier if both parties are married as both parties face similar risks.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Biflab,your question is intriguing. I think you should start a whole new thread based on it.Lots to be considered there.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Married guys playing, that's their business,their risk, their morals.Ourselves we have a safety net each other, but can you keep it as just sex and generate no emotions to bond with him? It can work.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
well, thank you for pointing out the difference between need and want......not sure how I got through life so far.....perhaps by ignoring condenscending comments?....then again if you are a trained psychologist then perhaps you're statement has some credence.......hey, it's fun writing with lots of full stops in between statements....makse me feel cool
-
RHP User
13 years ago
There is always that one exception to every rule.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
the biggest problems are that..........married men/women are unavailable when you want them, and unreliable when you do manage to make a date. they cant stay longer than a few hours, and they're never fully committed to the evening...ever noticed how they look at their watches over and over? and hey....if they are cheating on their wives/husbands with you....how many other people are they seeing? and if it does happen that you become attached to them....the history is already there...wont they also cheat on you?.............last minute cancellations by otherwise committed people (read 'attached') are a piss off....should you ever need to call them..you cant...because you might interfere in his or her private life (never mind that theyve turned yours upside down)....they wont leave their partners for you (heaven knows it might upset the dog)...and married people tend to make demands on you...they are free now, so you should be too (wtf is this? we play on our terms, our timetable, not theirs?)....... as a married couple, we just cannot find a plus, when it comes to play with someone elses partner...and the mere fact that we feel its something thats outside the values we set for ourselves, morally, we cant see ourselves going there....ever. that theres someone else at home waiting for this person....makes them a very unattractive option to us.............others may feel differently, but we've yet to strike that ourselves...everyone we've spoken to has also expressed hesitations when it comes to play with married/attached people, or related their own horror stories and experiences........... our best advice is that play of this kind will never be as relaxed and enjoyable as it will be with someone who is able to give 100% of their attention to you................singles will always be the most amenable to your wishes, and the most available as well.............
-
RHP User
13 years ago
say away from married men unless playing couples some men act single.some get caught out .stick with your morals.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
personally I would not go a married man, imagine how the wife would feel .... what if YOU became a wife someday and it happened to you!
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Some fantastic posts here - very enjoyable reading. Newkinky9 - totally know where you're coming from, mate. I assume the majority of married men on RHP are 5-10 years into their marriage and have hit the 'Oh, if I must' wall when they suggest bedroom antics with their wife. Sex with a reluctant partner can feel almost like rape - very unpleasant and unsatisfactory. Would like to hear how you resolve it. Tuscanred - you have made me laugh with your humour, perception and honesty - thanks! Sarahboo - you say you have made your decision - could you share it with us? I have no useful advice, I'm afraid, but there seems to be a general consensus that honesty and communication between parties can resolve most issues discussed here. And now for that anomaly - is nobody else surprised that Sarahboo's ex-FB is looking to reignite his sexual antics with her one year after getting married?! Surely you marry someone you fancy, have great sex with, enjoy spending time with etc? Am I alone in finding it odd that just 12 months in he's sniffing around elsewhere? That's like selecting a fine retaurant you've considered, researched and chosen because it's perfect, then popping out for a Maccas between courses! The dilemma continues...
-
RHP User
13 years ago
"love of your life" ...."thru sickness or in health ......thru the good times and the bad" ..."till death us do part"Yup - those are the same vows the woman gives as well as the man.Neither one should 'cheat' on or 'lie' to the other. SLK27 stated "Naturally I was beyond angry when my partner cheated". This same hurt and these same words could be said by the husband, of a cheating wife.Yes, there are more women replying to this forum, so sad to say so many from first hand experience. But we certainly aren't claiming ownership of this topic. There are bitches out there that lie to their loving husbands as well.Whether it's easier or harder for a woman to indulge in NSA/fuckbuddy/sex than married guys is not the point being discussed here.The opening query was from a 25 yo woman asking "where do you stand on Married people" - not specifically women or men.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
IF 2...or more ppl at anytime ...feel like getting it on likr they do on the discovery channel...why the heck not... sure as hell dont let a man made construct called religion make you feel guilty and stop you.... "only when married" or "bad karma" etc are all part of that social control laid on by old farts who are just bitter and twisted because they missed out...soooooooIF all you want is a shagg....go for it, with No expectations..... and use him for your own wants /needs....till you meet a 3rd or 4th or 5th person to join in..... LOL!!! or You meet someone who dis just you and vicky versa..... shite ... Hang ups!! LOL!!!
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Some wise ones agreed with PurpleMarquis Joy to the world.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
its not psychology........its just how it is......
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I have been on both sides of the fence my husband was cheating on me and at the end of the day I didnt care why because he wasnt very good in bed. I was never unfaithful to him. Did he hurt me a little bit, I dont think I was in love with him at the end. I have also been in a relationship with a married man (who said he loved me) but wouldnt leave his wife. I finally saw the light and ended it. We had a great time together both in and out of bed. He was witty, funny, intelligent everything I was looking for except he wasnt available holidays, weekends, nights, birthdays etc. I believe that his wife knew about me and that as long as he was home for her she was ok with it. We dont have control over who we fall in love with, it just happens, however, by avoiding married men we reduce our chances of being hurt. NSA fun is fine however its when it becomes more than that when people get hurt. If the guy wants to cheat on his wife then maybe swing with the couple.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Don't do it ....there are plenty of us good ones out here that wouldn't be in a situation where you had to cheat....if your married aren't you meant to be with that person? In my opinion ,Men that do this sort of thing leave broken shattered relationships...ruin their kids lives...and create angry women due to their cheating....which screws it for the good ones. :-P
-
RHP User
13 years ago
kinda get the idea that if some guys spent the time they put into looking for a stray, on their wives, that things would probably improve to the point that they'd not feel they 'need' to be here at all...... just a thought...lol
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I have been involved with a married man for 8 months now...... It is my greatest relationship I have no dulesions on what it is......Great sex. We talk everyday & he is 100% my BFF I don't have this need for him to leave his wife & we don't do the whole dating thing. I think as long as you go into it knowing he will never leave his wife that it is what it is just sex maybe friendship than why not????? If you go into cause you are lonly will not a smart idea cause you will end up attached to him in the wrong way
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Lol I use to work at chicken treat waiKiki when I lived in WA
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I don't have time to read now, so will give a quick response just to Sarah. Don't do it - people go through several stages in life and at your age you need to think of sex as part of building of a family.Yes,it might sound hypocritical from a married man himself, but once you go overthe stge of establishing your own family, have children (tha part is optional), build a strong relationship with yourself and your partner then youcan see sex/having a fuck buddy as a pastime...
-
RHP User
13 years ago
YES...A DEFINITE YES! Personally I would go for it...obviously if it felt right....stop analysing his status or yours...just go with the flow and enjoy...!!! LIFE IS TOO SHORT...!! married or not.... enjoy the moment....mrs.hotcple2
-
RHP User
13 years ago
lmao "well, thank you for pointing out the difference between need and want......not sure how I got through life so far.....perhaps by ignoring condenscending comments?....then again if you are a trained psychologist then perhaps you're statement has some credence.......hey, it's fun writing with lots of full stops in between statements....makse me feel cool" I dont think there's enough fullstops between your sentences though.........
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Would just like to weigh in with my two-cents, slightly off-topic, but none the less.. My partner and I have been dating for almost 10-years now. We have a fabulous friendship, freaky porno sex on a regular basis, and no intention of getting married. We both work and we have a little girl (who, I swear, can sense it as soon as we start to pash! :( ). We've experienced ups and down just like any other couple and I think we've both been guilty of denying each other sex over the years (due to some silly argument we've had), but generally always wake up in each other arms. I cannot imagine us ever reaching a point in our relationship like some of the stories above and it makes me sad to hear that two people who were (at some point) so connected and in love to drift so far apart. What is it about marriages that fundamentally changes relationships? Why do most marriages seem to come with female chasity belts? (And just on that - Do they really? Maybe I should start my own topic, cause this is something I've always struggled to understand. What is it about that bloody band that totally sucks the mojo out of you girls? And yes, have read all the stories above, but I'm not a fan of excuses/blame games/etc. I'm proud to say, I'm hornier than an 18y/o school boy and can't see my sex-driving drying up anytime soon.. Certainly won't be taking the gambit and sticking on that gold ring of doom, though!!) And finally, to Sarah; I hope your decision has served you well.. You seem like an intelliegent girl and I'm sure you did what was right, for you :D Besides, you already have an amazing little man in your life. Someone who needs you, who totally loves and adores you, who will not argue with you (Well, at least not for a few years!!), and will always think you're the most beautiful woman in the world.. Who needs a quick fuck with a love like that?
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Don't do it!!! Boo, sweety, you're an attractive girl, you don't need that chump. Put yourself in his wife's shoes. If she's cool with it fine but otherwise she'll be devastated. You're on RHP for christs sake! This sites full of single guys that would show you more respect then this cheatin A-hole. Give yourself the respect you deserve. Fight temptation, grab a guy or two(or three) off this site. You'll feel a whole lot better for yourself...trust me :-)
-
RHP User
13 years ago
When i (the male of the couple) was much younger, I slept with an older, married woman. At first, I thought that I was pretty cool... until I met her husband. He was a really nice guy!!! I wouldn't do that again. But that's just my experience... we are all different. John
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 14361 Comments: 120840
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1355 Comments: 14709
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2425 Comments: 17234
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2405 Comments: 12737
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 794 Comments: 5154
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1148 Comments: 6957
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 622 Comments: 2145
-
LGBT
Topics: 156 Comments: 1150
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share