F47
Sexual descriptions that make you go nooooo
July 06 2015
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
...LD I agree. As much as I like that act it's certainly not the term I would use. An ex of mine used to say "Let me suck your penis!"... and that made me cringe. I'd much rather she said c*ck! Penis is just so clinical...
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RHP User
9 years ago
Dumping my load is definitely one ...I always think of unwanted rubbish xxFreya
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RHP User
9 years ago
People send messages like that!! I wonder how often it works, I don't think I will try and see, not my style really. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
LOL... I get such a giggle out of these topics. I can't help but wonder.... when so many people are sending such stupid messages, ... who is teaching so many that tho sis how you communicate... to obtain a positive response, when clearly it doesn't... and they keep doing it. Anyhoo... Phrases I've heard that lost me a title have included..... " my creamy pussy"" my little clit dick" And there was also a woman who insisted on trying to have a long conversation with my penis.... while it was in her mouth.
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RHP User
9 years ago
He wanted to trash my pussy. Another one just wanted to smash it. A no in both cases, if you're wondering. ;-)
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RHP User
9 years ago
An unfortunate one ... since it's used a bit. But "hot cum" ... as it makes me think of a disease. Dump a load is horrid.
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RHP User
9 years ago
The phrase "slap and tickle" always leaves me scratching me head ... Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' And there was also a woman who insisted on trying to have a long conversation with my penis.... while it was in her mouth. Like Mischeviouslad above ... I had a playmate that used to hum loudly while giving me oral to provide extra vibration. How's a girl to relax when all she can hear is a muffled lawnmower noise between her legs. Very off putting and often resulted in a smack on the head.... lol LG
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tylannister
9 years ago
Still can't get used to the Aussie use of the word 'root'.
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RHP User
9 years ago
When you think about it, most sexual descriptions are pretty bad... Smash ya box - (So we're playing Crash Bandicoot now?)Give 'er a dickin' - (Just....no.)Going the growl / growling her out - (Have you ever growled into a Vagina? Does it growl back? I may never sleep again!)Sowing the seed - (Did you plough it first?? Oh...you did...well...add that to the list too ya farmer...)Give 'er me swimmers - (Did you also give 'er your T-Shirt too? And while I'm at it, what if you're impotent? Would you say you gave 'er your floaters??)Tap dat ass - (TAP?? This is why you are just a little girl. Firm hands get the women... *winks*)Throat my choad - (Clever....maybe? But just more disturbing...)Pleasure hole - (What is that...a chasm in a nice community???)She wants the 'D' - (Really? Why always the D? Why is it never the K? Or the Z? D gets all the luck...) And my personal unfavourite - "Fucked her guts out". I mean....really? Is she dead? Are you now a murderer??
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RHP User
9 years ago
Sheezer ... don't get used to it ... and please oh please, don't use it ty!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Gives us a root!
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RHP User
9 years ago
When ever someone talks about fingering things it always makes me smirk/laugh.
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RHP User
9 years ago
When ever someone talks about fingering things it always makes me smirk/laugh.
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RHP User
9 years ago
- to describe a person as a fuck buddy or with benefit'sa horrible term to describe someone youv'e been intimate with x
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tylannister
9 years ago
Quoting 'HennaJay' Sheezer ... don't get used to it ... and please oh please, don't use it ty! Don't worry - I can't bring myself to use it.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Leo girl that is the funniest thing I've heard all day lol I too really dislike the term "Root" hate even typing it here lol
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'tylannister' Still can't get used to the Aussie use of the word 'root'. I've lived here all my life and I'm not used to it...hate it!!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'ohdear2013' People send messages like that!! I wonder how often it works, I don't think I will try and see, not my style really. they really do. And that's pretty tame compared to some, as you can see from Meander's comment I don't get that many of them, probably partly because I don't get as many messages in general as the women in the bigger cities, and also because of my profile wording, but I still get a few. Most of them just make me laugh .
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RHP User
9 years ago
Come on you mad rooters! Nobody uses the word root seriously! Haha
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RHP User
9 years ago
"Up to the nuts in guts" Maybe its a UK saying as I havent heard it over here? Some of the ones my gay friends come out with make my eyes water! I dont like "root" either, or women being referred to as "cumbuckets". And the word "schlong" makes me think of something sloppy and floppy....
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RHP User
9 years ago
Not as bad as pecker to me. :-(
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Single_Guy4U
9 years ago
Quoting 'Leo_girl' The phrase "slap and tickle" always leaves me scratching me head ... Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' And there was also a woman who insisted on trying to have a long conversation with my penis.... while it was in her mouth. Like Mischeviouslad above ... I had a playmate that used to hum loudly while giving me oral to provide extra vibration. How's a girl to relax when all she can hear is a muffled lawnmower noise between her legs. Very off putting and often resulted in a smack on the head.... lol LG Maybe you hadn't shaved for awhile and he was role playing ;-) Anyway, I used to hear young idiots yell out the car window when driving if they saw a nice women "show us your growler" (referring to their pussies), never liked it. Maybe that is where DP's "Growling her out" comes from. again, horrible.
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RHP User
9 years ago
LOL .... I should have said a noisy growler between my legs instead! LG
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RHP User
9 years ago
Humming during oral sex to provide vibrations? Never heard of that before Does it actually work? Sounds quite unsexy from here and would definitely turn me down, even though pleasure moans gets me harder everytime.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Leo_girl' LOL .... I should have said a noisy growler Something from Harry Potter?
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RHP User
9 years ago
NOT! One guy, "Let's have a rooty toot toot and I'll cum in ya cunt, baby". What a grunge Like, WTF MrsSAF
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RHP User
9 years ago
Especially in messages such as 'I wanna make you squirt so bad' or any variation thereof. Also hate the use of naughty/norti/mischief as a euphemism for sex. FFS people, we're not in primary school any more. And Koko, I agree with you regarding schlong... never conjures up an image of a raging hard on lol.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Satisfyafantasy' One guy, "Let's have a rooty toot toot and I'll cum in ya cunt, baby".
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Quoting 'Leo_girl' LOL .... I should have said a noisy growler Something from Harry Potter? It's called Harry Potter's snitch.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Is Yiddish ,also high German for snake ..Who knew Bazza McKenzie woz so culchad with his one eyed trouser snake reference 😜xxFreya
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Not as bad as pecker to me. :-( Nooo! Come on. My favourite saying.... Pull your pecker! Love it.
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RHP User
9 years ago
A pecker up her clacker. One Aussie one I really don't like personally: To rub one out. Reminds me of squeezing a pimple for some reason.
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Baysidecouple214
9 years ago
This thread reminded me of the BloodHound Gang Song which has some creative sexual descriptions to say the least; Vulcanize the whoopee stick In the ham wallet Cattle prod the oyster ditch With the lap rocket Batter dip the cranny ax In the gut locker Retrofit the pudding hatch Ooh la la With the boink swatter If i get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though I Brazilian wax poetic so pathetically I don't wanna beat around the bush Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo Marinate the nether rod In the squish mitten Power drill the yippee bog With the dude piston Pressure wash the quiver bone In the bitch wrinkle Cannonball the fiddle cove Ooh la la With the pork steeple If i get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though I Brazilian wax poetic so pathetically I don't wanna beat around the bush Foxtrot Uniform Charlie KiloFoxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo Put the you know what in the you know wherePut the you know what in the you know wherePut the you know what in the you know where Put the you know what in the you know where pronto
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pippet
9 years ago
Astrild would understand this one "do you want to taste my boerie?"
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RHP User
9 years ago
I so want to send someone this:- Aye lassy....cum 'ere and I'll tongue punch ya fart box!!!! All said in a Scottish accent lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Quoting 'Freya70'Schlong Often used by someone who really has a schlort.
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QLDtwo4fun
9 years ago
I still laugh at Scotch Finger Biscuits,
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RHP User
9 years ago
Ye do that an yell be wearin yer shlong for garters......... said in a Scottish accent
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm packin a Schplenty. 😊
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RHP User
9 years ago
My ex said schlong, he was American with a Jewish background. He had a nice one too! Too bad he was such a schmuck.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm really not fond of the term fanny or the mention of puss or pussy. Sounds kind of childish to me.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Why couldn't we have been colonised by the French? I'm sure our dirty talk would sound better for it... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
at work the boys say they are tongue punch each other's fart box......sounds on par with some on here by the looks of it. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
To schlick a schlong? MrsSAF :-D
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RHP User
9 years ago
Oh, oh, oh no! Had forgotten that one... now the (bad) memories are flooding back lol To explain to the others, boerewors is a South African sausage... 'boerie' for short :)
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RHP User
9 years ago
Hum like a muffled lawnmower !! Lmao. That is the funniest thing I've heard in a while 😆😆😆
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RHP User
9 years ago
Pump'n'dump
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RHP User
9 years ago
Reverse birthPump and dumpSlammed into tomorrowBooger my bedLick me raw ............am i being too fussy ?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Ima_Cane' Why couldn't we have been colonised by the French? I'm sure our dirty talk would sound better for it... - Posted from rhpmobile Alright. Lets try this in French then... "Let me...errr...tongue puncher....your farter boxer....Mademoiselle..." You may be right. It does almost sound a little classier....
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'pippet' Astrild would understand this one "do you want to taste my boerie?" I'd rather a boerie than a biltong.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'fdom234' Reverse birthPump and dumpSlammed into tomorrowBooger my bedLick me raw ............am i being too fussy ? I haven't even heard of some of those before...but they're all terrible!!
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RHP User
9 years ago
There are people who are under the belief that trash talk is sexy. I know guys that say that they want to blow their cheese sauce over over Ur face. I laughed because I like cheese sauce with my cauliflower - Posted from rhpmobile
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Twisted_Mister
9 years ago
Here we go - best said when in a moving car, up high or otherwise out of range: 'Hey! Show us ya gutted rabbit!' Or, and slightly more tasteful: 'Show us ya bike rack!' Disclaimer - I have never said these - no-one can prove it....
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RHP User
9 years ago
Youve just reminded me of another.....Show us the beef curtains. Im sticking with Foofoo......
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have a thing with grown men using words that should only be used when talking to children. Eg; naughty, cuddle, spank, cheeky... I cant help but cringe. Guys wouldn't use these words if they were with a group of mates. Im not a child, i def do not want a 'daddy'. I expect to be spoken to like an adult. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
What about suck my blue vein custard chucker.trust me I've heard some classic ones. What's worse i dont talk that way at all yet the guys that do score more. Tell me now do women want to be treated with respect or with total abusey - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Luck_Dragon' Quoting 'fdom234' Reverse birthPump and dumpSlammed into tomorrowBooger my bedLick me raw ............am i being too fussy ? I haven't even heard of some of those before...but they're all terrible!! I must attract the more creative types
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Seachange
9 years ago
Not sue I got any of those 'lovely' terms of endearment... I feel deprived. Just your normal first message like 'hi, wanna fuck'? So non-creative bogans.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Nomidlifeissues' There are people who are under the belief that trash talk is sexy. I know guys that say that they want to blow their cheese sauce over over Ur face. I laughed because I like cheese sauce with my cauliflower I'm loving your profile pic
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Single_Guy4U
9 years ago
Is another distasteful one. (unless maybe it is a short haired one that is really really, busy)
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RHP User
9 years ago
Yep I dislike beaver as well. Does anyone else remember that song, ''Wynona's Big Brown Beaver'' by Primus?? Bearded clam is another awful one...
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Single_Guy4U'Beaver Is another distasteful one. (unless maybe it is a short haired one that is really really, busy) Aww,..... what about the split beaver.
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RHP User
9 years ago
piss flaps Beef curtains Gateway to her guts(Kevin bloody Wilson) Axe wound Pink helmeted love nazi Hairy lasso(Kevin bloody Wilson) Mini me - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm astonished anyone actually thinks they may have half a snowflakes with most of these! Oh, and Dragon... Bit of a fan of your profile pic I must say. hehe
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RHP User
9 years ago
Used to listen to that album all the time LD. What a band!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Thats a dreadfull saying and the cheek of him. Most sayings i hate were brought up. They all trash talk
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Baysidecouple214
9 years ago
bucket cuntbadly packed kebabslitchode another song by Bloodhound gangkiss me where it smells funny
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have to say some of these I've never heard of. Beef curtains!!!! Hilarious. This forum post has been an education, a very funny education.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Jizz... Makes me think of toxic waste
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RHP User
9 years ago
In regards to the phrase 'eaten out' it's a shame too that many men seem to take the term literally!! And I say men because from my experience woman do it on a far superior level-there is however always exceptions to the rules!! 😁 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm gonna smash your piss flaps and eat you out until you jizz all over my face like good little bucket cunt 😝😝😂😂 Fucken piss funny lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I once had a guy talk about my pussy by calling it a c#*t. No no no no no no noooooo!!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'sir_stir' I'm gonna smash your piss flaps and eat you out until you jizz all over my face like good little bucket cunt 😝😝😂😂 Fucken piss funny lol - Posted from rhpmobile I'm gonna growl you out till you squirt all that lady jism over me, then I'll destroy your hairy axe wound with me pecker before giving your chin a nice coating of my baby batter... Your move Sir!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Any of you ladies had it referred to as a possum? Maybe not quite as bad as a beaver but I found it a bit crude. I told him possums bite and scratch so he probably wouldn't want to be near mine.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'musodevil' Used to listen to that album all the time LD. What a band! I don't know many of their songs, but I remember the beaver song being played a fair bit on Triple J back when it came out... I think it might have made it into the hottest 100 for that year? Don't think I ever saw the video clip for it...off to youtube I go...
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Hottie1
9 years ago
He reminded me of the word muff! Yuk! Mary xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'ag4mg92' He reminded me of the word muff! Yuk! Mary xx Muff diving
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RHP User
9 years ago
....diving.....
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RHP User
9 years ago
While you're looking LD... Try the "Pork Soda" album.
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Hottie1
9 years ago
Are 'we gagging for it!' It's getting worse lol. Mary xx
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Way2go70
9 years ago
There is a range of men's boxers and underwear called Balls Deep....... Hmmmmmmm haha. And muff Mary lol. Reminds me of the old Muff Divers ode... No Muff Is Too Tuff, We Dive At Five.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Luck_Dragon' Quoting 'musodevil' Used to listen to that album all the time LD. What a band! I don't know many of their songs, but I remember the beaver song being played a fair bit on Triple J back when it came out... Forgot that it was the song at the beginning of 'Zack and Miri Make a Porno'.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Gives me visions of a thick pile rug...
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RHP User
9 years ago
Big Bottoms - excerpt : "My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo, I'd like to sink her with my pink torpedo!" Sex Farm - excerpt : "Working on a sex farm Trying to raise some hard love Getting out my pitchfork Poking your hay Scratching in your hen house Sniffing at your feedbag Slipping out your back door Leaving my spray Sex farm woman, I'm gonna mow you down Sex farm woman, I'll rake and hoe you down Sex farm woman, don't you see my silo rising high?" Etc, etc...
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Some here dont like it. Conjures up thoughts of "making love to young girls".... Gee, isnt that current?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Hey Lucky-Dragon. Yes I do remember that song and the video well. Lol Tho Primus are awesome it's not a song I would play whilst on a date 😆
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donnamick
9 years ago
Quoting 'ag4mg92' Are 'we gagging for it!' It's getting worse lol. Mary xx But its the word of the "Sex God", can't be bad. ha haS G 2
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'HennaJay' An unfortunate one ... since it's used a bit. But "hot cum" ... as it makes me think of a disease. Warm semen then? What do we call it? l'm afraid I can't refer to mine as sperm anymore ;) But in general, of all the responses, someone somewhere has ruled out nearly every term (including pussy) that is typically used aside from generic medical terminology. So I guess you have to ask each individual you are with, about what they do and don't like, as you would with every other type of interaction with them.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Kisskiss80' I once had a guy talk about my pussy by calling it a c#*t. No no no no no no noooooo!! Cunt is one that I don't mind if it's used in the right context...
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RHP User
9 years ago
Spunk!! That's one I haven't heard for ages
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RHP User
9 years ago
How about cum? Do you like cum? Does cum do it for you? And after reading this thread I have an even bigger problem that to buy my favourite beer, which is available in a growler. Oh grrr.
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RHP User
9 years ago
It does it for me if it does it for the lady. Maybe hot cum is actually stolen ;) As for "spunk", that is still used widely in Britain (in porn). - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Not as outrageous as some on here, but I always get weirded out by "knob gobbling". The image in my brain is always a goblin trying to eat my penis while a turkey sounds in the background. I think everyone's going to be self-conscious about their dirty talk thanks to this thread! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
No one seems to have mentioned moist panties? Does that mean it's back in fashion?*cough*
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have to stop reading this thread!
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Home_Eric
9 years ago
I was always a bit confounded by "laying pipe". The metaphor always made my mind go to defecation before intercourse. That is, if it didn't make me think of literally laying pipe...
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RHP User
9 years ago
Or "I would "tap" that.... Sounds like something a plumber would say to a copper pipe.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Spoof
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RHP User
9 years ago
I use the term "tap" a lot. I had a tap. Or I would tap that. I also use "bat" as in , I had a bat. Suppose I could even be guilty of batting while tapping on occasion. Lol.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Yeah root is a pretty crude boganism. I can't say I'm thrilled with the common and careless usage of the term 'kunt', either. Sometimes however I like to be deliberately crass to filter out the hoity-toity irritants we can't be bothered dealing with.
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